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Boredom is Dangerous by Domino Necklace

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Boredom is Dangerous

It was late on a school night that Uzumaki Naruto sat rocking back and forth on the couch in glee. He had done it! He had made the perfect plan and tonight he would put it into action. That bastard had it coming, oh he would be so embarrassed!

“Yes! Yes! It's perfect! Wonderful, even better than ramen!” Naruto, still rocking back and forth, rubbed his hands together and started laughing like a madman.

Minato, who was just about to start the movie, glanced at his son worriedly. “Honey, do you think that we should figure out what he's up to before he gets arrested for murder or something?” he whispered to his wife as she sat down with the bowl of popcorn and threw her legs up on the snack table.

“Nah, the movie is probably more important. And if I'm wrong we can just ground him when it's over and that means I can watch him suffer by taking him to Ichiraku's and not letting him eat.”

It was a sad thing that Naruto was to far gone to hear this conversation because he probably would have been able to avoid a lot of pain, but instead he sat rocking and giggling strangely.

Later that night, when he realized that he still had a mission to accomplish, Naruto packed the necessary items and disappeared into the night.

All right, all right. I guess you guys want me to explain. Well you see about a week before a new store came to the mall and well...

“So what you're saying is that this is a prank store? Do you have any idea how incredible this is? I almost think its a dream!” Naruto leaned toward the cashier eyes shining, “For being the first person to tell me you have just bought yourself a sot in my top favorite people list!”

“Look kid that's...great and all, but if you don't buy something and get out of my face I will end up hitting you.”

And so...

Naruto knew from various sleepovers and nights sneaking out exactly how to get into the Uchiha household without anyone realizing. He stalked giddily into Sasuke's room, who was a surprisingly deep sleeper, and made his way to his dresser.

Sasuke always set out his outfit for the next day on his dresser the night before, so it was easy for Naruto to slip the speaker into one of the back pockets. After he took the alarm and set it to go off ten minutes after school had already started. Then he gave Sasuke the finger as he walked out to the garage, where he kept his car. A minute later he was running toward the darkened school.

“Okay so the last stop is the school, and then tomorrow I shall watch it all unfold!”

Sasuke woke up to a start when his alarm rang he was about to close his eyes for another five minutes when he saw the time.

“Shit! How did that happen, damn I'm late!”

So Sasuke threw on his clothes and ran to his car without showering or eating breakfast. He didn't give his car a single glace as he dove in and sped out of the driveway.

The entire ride to school Sasuke was very thrown off. He knew he didn't look his best considering his late wake up call, but why were so many people looking at him like that? They looked...disgusted? Sasuke was very confused he had never gotten so many dirty looks...in both ways.
One guy took one look at him and took a picture. Another stopped to write something down.

When he got out of his car in the parking lot he saw what the commotion was. Written in big bold letters on the sides of his car was “I love gay porn” and his number was written under it with the words “I'm lonely if you want some 'fun' call this number.”

Sasuke did the only thing he could think of. He ran to his homeroom swearing the person who did this to death.

“Well well well, if it isn't Mr. Uchiha. What made you decide to suddenly decide to grace us with your presence?” Sasuke took a deep breath. He hated his homeroom teacher, he was lazy and read perverted books instead of worrying about his students education.

“Sorry Mr. Hatake I just woke up late.”

“Well, it is a first offense, take your seat.”

Sasuke gladly sat in his place in the back and barely paid attention. He looked across the room to where his best friend, Naruto, sat. He couldn't wait till break to tell him about it. Although Naruto would probably blame the whole thing on aliens or Orochimaru sensei. Whoever he was mad at that day.

However halfway into class he...

“phhhrt”

The class went silent,“Dude, did someone just fart?”

“prrt”

Sasuke's eyes went wide. Everyone was looking at him.

But...he didn't...then...why?...how?

“Prtrtrtrgurtrufnasutututut”

Slowly he stood up. His face was tomato red. “I don't know what's going on but-”

“brrt”

Everyone was dying laughing by this point, his fan girls seemed confused. Sasuke realized that the noise was coming out of his pocket. He opened it and found a speaker. Realization struck. Someone had planned all of this. “A remote controlled fart noise maker thing, are you fucking serious!”

He threw it at the ground and stormed out.
Sasuke ran down the hallway where he went to his locker for the first time that day. In Hatake's class they just keep their books in class and carrying a pen in your pocket isn't hard. What he saw made his blood boil. Whoever it was wasn't going to be living for much longer.
Taped and super glued to his locker was a sign that said
“If farting is an art, then I'm Picasso”

Infuriated Sasuke opened his locker, only realizing too late that it was a bad idea. Just as the bell rang pages upon pages of gay porn burst out of his locker.

Sasuke then connected all of the dots that should have been obvious earlier. There was only one person who had his locker com and only one person would have been able to get in his house and knew he left out his clothes each night. And only one person was jumping up and down in the hallway screaming, “This is way better than I imagined it would be! You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation!”

“Naruto! You idiot!”

Naruto then realized that now would be a good time to run. And so he did, laughing the whole time.
Chapter end notes: AN: Lol the phrase “You shall never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation” was said by Azula in ATLA. I love her.

Anyway, I sincerely hope that I managed to make some people laugh and that you all enjoyed it.

Thank you for reading! Maybe I should write a Sasuke's revenge...
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