Naruto sat alone in the darkness of his room. He had forsaken the softness of the bed, or the structure of a chair, preferring the hardness of the floor as he crouched in the furthest corner of the room. He had his knees drawn up against his chest and his hands locked together under his knees, keeping the position in place. He rested his head on the tops of his knees, silent tears streaming down his face.

His face was scrunched up in inexpressible pain, his shoulders trembling as he choked back sobs. What was the point of sobbing when no one would hear? When, no matter how loudly you screamed or cried or moaned, no one would come to help, what was the point of doing it in the first place?

Naruto’s frame convulsed over and over as the anguish washed over him. Loneliness clawed at him, and he curled up even smaller, as if by doing so he could escape it.

This was the side of him he locked within himself, and only let lose when he was alone. The side of him that he locked away deep inside himself and pretended didn’t exist until the pain became unbearable, and it demanded release.

He was alone, and the absolution of that statement haunted the blonde. This solitude didn’t end outside of these walls. Sure, he had Kakashi sensei, Sakura and Sasuke; Iruka, too. But they didn’t really know or understand him.

To Kakashi, he was just a loudmouthed brat. Kakashi never took the time to see the sadness that was always buried in Naruto’s eyes. He took in the surface image and dismissed Naruto as an inevitable annoyance.

To Sakura, he was just an annoying obstacle that stood between her and Sasuke. She didn’t care that he was desperate for her attention. Didn’t care that every time she shoved him away, he retreated a little more into himself, and his heart was slowly withering.

To Sasuke, he was nothing worth noticing. He wasn’t strong enough to be a rival. He wasn’t cool enough to be a friend. He wasn’t smart enough to be someone respected. Sasuke acknowledged Naruto with contempt and then just glared with annoyance whenever Naruto tried to talk to him.

To Iruka, he was a combination of a son and little brother. He hugged Naruto, gave advice on school and shinobi matters, and bought him ramen. This, Naruto knew, was Iruka’s way of showing affection. He knew it, but it did nothing to help him.

Although Iruka was the closest person to him, there was still a chasm of distrust between Naruto and any other human being. No one, not even Iruka, could forget he was the Kyuubi -- a beast.

For years, the villagers had told him what a monster he was, but he had never allowed himself to believe it. But here, alone and lost in the blackness of his room, it was so easy to be persuaded otherwise. A vision of a rampaging nine-tailed fox flashed across his mind; fire was everywhere, villagers screamed and pleaded without hope. The fox was smiling with delight as he killed the pitiful beings below him. The fox’s fur was bright orange, and the amused and bloodthirsty eyes were a sparkling blue.

Naruto shuddered.

Naruto curled up onto himself, wishing he could make this horror disappear. The crippling solitude came in the form of an invisible hole, gaping from under where his rib cage met. It tore at Naruto’s will, his happiness and his self control, sucking it into the oblivion known only by the most miserable.

Any happy memories or thoughts seemed fake and forced, making Naruto doubt the intentions of everyone around him. The faces flashed before him, before sliding away into shadow: Kiba, Shino, Neji, Lee, Chouji, Shikamaru, Hinata.

Are they really my friends? Naruto wondered dimly to himself, Will they only betray me in the end? It’s probably best not to care for them. If I don’t care for them, then they will never hurt me….

Naruto, normally an ambitious person, was drained of any desire to help others. His mind was a cloudy riot of pain, isolation and fear. He was desperate to end this pain. It was tearing him apart from the inside, out.

Naruto, being a Jounin shinobi, knew pain well, but this was different. Wounds, flesh wounds at least, could be seen and touched and treated. This pain wasn’t the same at all; it didn’t originate from one point, not even the black hole in his torso. No, this pain flowed through his very veins, reaching and consuming his entire body, leaving nowhere untouched.

The pain had begun as something sharp, causing his breaths to be shallow and quick, making him feel strangled. Pressure points and joints felt as if they were being stabbed.

Gradually, after much crying and trembling, it became an ache; something that resonated in his very bones and caused him infinite weariness. The burden of defeat weighed heavily on his spent body and broken mind.

Just as Naruto became accustomed to the dull throbbing that clung to his body and gagged him like humidity, he felt the darkness within himself expand. Before, it had been confined to the whirlpool of despair near his sternum, but now his misery had entered the third stage.

The hole in his torso was not a *pain* per say, but an even more terrifying entity. It wasn’t so much a *feeling* but the *opposite* of feeling; it was nothingness. It washed over him, causing him to shudder in disgust, and he was hollowed out of all feeling. The numbness spread from his fingertips to his toes, and everywhere in between.

All thoughts vanished, replaced by a deafening silence. He was, in essence, Nothing. He saw, but did not see. He heard, but heard nothing. He couldn’t feel or think. He hunched in the corner of his bedroom, in the darkness, living -- and not-living -- through personal hell.

If the pain had been unbearable before, this was a whole new level of suffering. Utter insignificance was his existence. A waste of space, a waste of air.

It was then, that Kyuubi chose to make his move.

“So, Naruto,” rumbled the deep mocking voice of the fox, his words echoing throughout Naruto’s empty mind, “Now that you finally realize how unimportant you are, will you die now? No one wants you, you know. No one really cares for you – they just don’t want to anger you because of me. So really, it’s like you don’t exist at all. It’s just them, and me. You’re Nothing.” Kyuubi laughed maliciously and Naruto’s tears soaked the fabric of his pants as he huddled in his room.

“No, go away,” Naruto choked out, trying to remember how to speak, or why it was important to resist.

The fox laughed again, “Go away? Me? Why would I do that? This body is mine. I’m *letting* you stay here because I’m kind. You should be thanking me! Or, you could just leave. I’m tired of you anyway, along with everyone else in this village. No one wants you here. Ask them, they’ll tell you themselves. You mean nothing to them. You are so stupid to think you have any importance in life. So you should give it up. Give up, Naruto.”

The Kyuubi stopped speaking, letting this information sink in, hearing Naruto’s pulse speed up, and his breathing stop just short of hyperventilation.

Naruto shuddered, No one… wants me? The thought was terrifying. But then, could Nothing be terrified? Am… am I Nothing?

The fox continued, but in a soft, sympathetic voice, “Give *me* control of this body and you won’t hurt anymore. You won’t be sad or angry, just content. Come into yourself and drift, like you’re sleeping and dreaming. Let *me* deal with this cruel world…”

The Kyuubi retreated back to his cage, watching with anticipation what was happening. He could almost taste his freedom; once the brat let him take control, there would be nothing that could stop him. He would lock Naruto’s conscience in the same cage he’d been held in these past twenty years, and let Naruto watch as he used Naruto’s body to eradicate everyone he knew….

Naruto heard the fox’s offer and thought he would do anything to stop being Nothing. However, a small warning bell went off in his blank mind at the thought of giving control to someone else. He didn’t have a reason *why* but it just didn’t seem *right.*

But, he argued with himself, this emptiness is awful, nothing could be worse. I’d rather feel the pain, than *not* feel at all.

That thought sparked an idea. A dumb, unhealthy idea, but nevertheless, an idea. Naruto stood, moving slowly, as if he was in water, and made his way into the living room and over to the overstuffed sofa. He had thrown his ninja supplies there when he entered his home, hours ago, when Konoha and other people still existed, and he now reached for it again.

His mind was still in a haze, so it took him a few moments to find what he was looking for. When he found it, he smiled. A small bud of hope blossomed under his ribcage and he sensed this was the path to take him back to the Light.

Dropping the rest of the supplies back on the couch, he waded into the bathroom, and sat on the closed lid of the toilet. He gasped for air; those simple actions had drained him.

Despite the terrifying non-feeling that still enveloped his body, his mind seemed to thaw and his thoughts were sharp once again. He told himself this was sick and stupid, but that blossom of promise told him it was also necessary.

He lifted his bare arms out before him and raised his other hand. The object he had retrieved before flashed in his raised hand. Taking a last second to reconsider, he pushed away those thoughts and plunged the kunai deep into his flesh.

The instant the knife torn his skin, the numbness dulled, repelled by the burning pain of the wound Naruto had just inflicted on himself. Absolutely ecstatic to *feel* again, Naruto dragged the knife across his arm, again and again gouging himself.

His teeth gritted and he hissed in pain, but he felt no regret. Instead, he felt like a drowning man who had seen the sun, and was slowly rising back to the surface.

Twelve slashes later, the numbness had vanished and the Kyuubi screamed in helpless rage inside Naruto’s head. However, once again himself, Naruto simply blocked it from his mind.

Naruto dropped the kunai on the tiled floor, slumping over in exhaustion. Dimly, he thought to himself, there has to be a better way of dealing with this...

Groaning, he dragged himself upright. Grabbing a towel, Naruto wetted it under the faucet and washed off the blood that had gushed over his skin. He hurried back to the couch and his ninja supplies, grabbing the roll of white bandages. He quickly and efficiently bound up his arm, from wrist to elbow and tied it off.

Making a mental note to clean up the bathroom in the morning, Naruto stumbled into his bedroom once again, crashing down on his mattress with a bounce. He dragged the heavy blanket over himself, wondering who added lead to his coverlet.

As he rapidly sunk into sleep, he realized with a jolt that tears still leaked from his eyes. Roughly wiping them away, Naruto banished all thoughts of the past few hours and fell into a dreamless sleep.




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Author's Note: I know this was really sad, but keep reading! It gets happier, I promise!!

BAM. BAM! BAM!!!

Naruto groaned and tried to ignore the pounding going on in his head. It took him a moment to realize he wasn’t hung over, like he’d thought, but someone was hammering on his door.

“UZAMAKI!” a voice screeched at him, and he sighed. If he didn’t open the door now, Sakura would just knock it down out of impatience.

“GODAMMIT SAKURA!” he yelled back, “Give me a second to get dressed!” He didn’t hear a response, but the pummeling to his door stopped, so he figured she got the message.

He stumbled out of bed, groaning, and hissed with pain as his left arm began to throb. Bewildered, he looked down. The white bandages shone back at him and his eyes widened as he remembered the night before. “Fuck…” he whispered to himself and gripped his arm, surprised the Kyuubi hadn’t healed him.

The fox’s voice rumbled briefly through his mind, “Why should I waste my time healing you? I don’t heal Nothing.”

That was as far as he got, before Naruto blocked him out.

He struggled slightly, not accustomed to having his arm so weakened, but eventually stepped out of his pajamas and into his Jounin uniform. He hadn’t removed the bandages, and they chafed a little under his long-sleeved shirt, but he ignored it, focusing on being “normal.” Despite his attempts, his smile still felt forced as he opened the door to reveal a very pissed Sakura.

Immediately Sakura started yelling at him, demanding to know why he had made her wait. When he sheepishly told her he had overslept – again – she whacked him on the head and he yelped in protest.

Naruto, after locking up his apartment, followed a chatting Sakura, not really listening to what she was saying. As he stared at her back, he was inevitably reminded of what the Kyuubi had said last night: “I’m tired of you anyway, along with everyone else in this village. No one wants you here. Ask them, they’ll tell you themselves. You mean nothing to them…”

Naruto shuddered lightly. “H-hey, Sakura? He asked, interrupting her. She turned around, facing him, an annoyed look on her face – as usual.

“What?” she demanded in her shrill way.

Naruto couldn’t look her in the face as he asked, “Am… am I, uh, *important* to you?”

Sakura blushed and glared, “I thought you had given up on me! No, Naruto, no! I don’t *like* you, okay?! Please, just *stop!*”

“Oh, okay. Sorry,” Naruto mumbled, trying to ignore the Kyuubi’s harsh laugh and “I-told-you-so’s” that danced in his head.

Sakura paused, slightly confused, then shook her head, not willing to be concerned about it. “Anyways Naruto, I was *trying* to tell you about your mission! Were you listening?” she demanded.

“Of course,” Naruto said studiously but she just sniffed in an I-don’t-believe-you way.

“Well, like I said, the Kazekage of Suna is sending an envoy to Konoha today to deliver a message to Lady Tsunade. This ninja is named Gaara, and he’s one of the most elite sand nin. Other than that, we could find nothing about him, which makes the Hokage suspicious. This ‘Gaara’ is far too powerful and mysterious to be a delivery boy.”

“Get to the *point* Sakura!”

“Shut up!” Whack! “Ahem, as I was saying, this is all kinda fishy, and we think he might be here with an anterior motive: to collect information on Konoha and report it back to the Kazekage for hostile purposes. Basically, we think he’s a spy and Suna might be planning an attack on our village.”

Naruto nodded, this all made sense. They were nearing the Hokage’s Tower, and he was having trouble ignoring the pain in his arm. He could feel the bandages get warm and realized he was bleeding. He sighed.

“Alright, now that I’ve briefed you,” Sakura continued – honestly, that girl could talk for hours! – “Your mission is to act as Gaara’s escort and body guard while he stays in Konoha. That, of course, is just your cover. It’s your job to make sure he doesn’t go sticking his nose into out affairs and learn anything that could be harmful. It sounds simple enough, but this is serious; make sure he’s always in your sights and that nothing goes wrong. We *don’t* need a war with Suna on our hands!”

Naruto nodded in understanding as they entered the tower, making their way up to the Hokage’s office. Once they were admitted by the two guards outside the double doors, they entered the spacious, but messy room. Piles of paperwork littered Tsunade’s desk, and stray papers covered the floor. Food wrappers were crumpled around an overflowing garbage can and the enclosure smelled like sweat and heat. Naruto mentally rolled his eyes and sighed, What a *great* first impression of Konoha’s power, he thought dryly to himself.

Maybe, he wondered halfheartedly, this is all a ruse, to make us look unthreatening and stupid.

Although the idea didn’t warm him, he thought it was a better option than his Great Leader being a slob.

His train of thought was derailed as Tsunade stood from her seat behind her desk – Thank Kami-sama her robes are clean! – and gestured to the man standing before her.

The first thing that drew Naruto’s attention was the ninja’s hair. It was red, but not the average orange-red or a carroty-color. No, his hair was a shock of bright scarlet. The man turned to face them and appraised them expressionlessly with cold teal eyes. They were only further accentuated by the thick black rims around each eye, and the lack of eyebrows. On his forehead, bright red kanji stood out against his pale white skin: love.

Naruto was mesmerized by the exotic beauty of this creature, and he hadn’t even looked away from the sculpted face. He did so now. The man stood with an aura of power and control surrounding him. His feet were set apart, giving him a balanced stance, and his arms were crossed disdainfully over his chest. He wore a dark crimson coat that buttoned tightly around his neck, hugging his muscular torso and arms, before falling straight down to his ankles. A large slit that began at the waist allowed Naruto to see the black baggy pants and black sandals that the man also wore. Over the top of the coat, he wore a thin, black vest that held his ninja tools and supplies.

Between his hair, eyes, and clothes, the man would have stood out like a sore – but sexy – thumb *anywhere,* but that wasn’t even the end to his strangeness. Over everything else, a piece of strong black cloth bound an enormous gourd to his back. It was tan with black symbols, and had many cracks on the surface. Naruto had no idea why anyone would need such a thing, and it wasn’t exactly a common accessory.

Naruto could see the rippling muscles under the trench coat, and the slight bulges where concealed kunai lay. Naruto almost smiled to himself – almost. This man, he thought, is dangerous. And, ridiculously enough, he felt a thrill go through him at the knowledge.

Naruto, feeling he’d done a thorough enough examination of the man, returned his attention to Tsunade, resisting the urge to stare at Gaara’s porcelain face.

“Ah, Naruto! Sakura, thank you for fetching him, you’re free to go.” Sakura bowed to the Hokage, giving Naruto a Look that said ‘don’t-fuck-this-up-baka!’ and left quietly.

Naruto bowed low to the Hokage, feeling Gaara’s icy eyes follow his every move, “You called, Hokage-sama.”

“Yes. This is Sabaku no Gaara, an emissary from Sunagakure. He will be staying here in Konoha for the next week, and it is your duty to escort and protect him for the duration of his stay. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Hokage-sama. It’s nice to meet you, Gaara-san. My name is Naruto Uzamaki. ” Gaara inclined his head.

“Well,” Tsunade said loudly, as usual, “Naruto, you can wait outside while Gaara delivers his message to me. After that is completed you may escort him around the village.” Naruto, recognizing a dismissal, bowed again and left the room.

Naruto leaned against the wall outside of the Hokage’s office, wondering how strong the silence-charms had to be on the office to contain Tsunade’s boisterous voice; Naruto figured *very* since he heard nothing of what transpired inside.

Naruto chatted with the two other Jounin, whose job was guarding the Hokage’s doors, until Gaara finished reciting. That was how Suna sent messages: they had envoys memorize the messages, so that there was nothing for enemies to intercept.

The two on guard today were some of Naruto’s good friends, Hinata and Kiba.

“Hey guys,” Naruto greeted, smiling.

“H-hello Naruto,” answered Hinata in her quiet voice. She had gotten over her crush of Naruto, and they had become good friends instead. He had been a good influence on her; she could now speak with almost no stutter, and look people in the face while she did so.

“Hey baka,” Kiba said lazily, also leaning against a wall. Naruto scowled but knew this was all in good fun.

“So Dog-Breath, what did you do to land you this lame-ass job?”

“The usual, you know. Akamaru and I *may* have *accidentally* set a few places on fire, but it so wasn’t our fault!”

Naruto laughed in his face, watching Kiba’s temper flare.

“Shut up, Naru-chan!”

“Butt licker!”

“Sped ninja!” They growled companionably at each other.

“Kiba! Naruto!” Hinata gently scolded, and they quieted down.

“Well anyways,” Naruto said, “Why are you here Hinata? You’re way too skilled to be assigned here without punishment intent, and I *know* you aren’t stupid enough to get caught being a pyro, like this *mutt* over here.”

“Hey!” Kiba yelped, outraged, but they all just laughed.

“No, actually I volunteered,” Hinata murmured. “Once I heard Kiba was sentenced to this ‘torture,’ I thought I’d come keep him company,” she said lightly. Kiba laughed, a bit too loudly, and Hinata blushed, looking at the floor.

Hmmm, Naruto thought, I wonder what’s going on here….

However his revelations were interrupted by the quiet opening of the Hokage’s door, and Gaara’s silent emergence. At the opening of the door, Hinata and Kiba straightened, donning the intimidating ninja façade that was required of a guard. Naruto hid a smile.

“Gaara-san!” he greeted, “All finished?” Naruto smiled brightly in the face of the stoic redhead.

After a moment of awkward silence, Gaara answered in a slow, monotone voice, “Yes, I have delivered the message and we may now leave this place.”

“Gaara-san!” he greeted, “All finished?” Naruto smiled brightly in the face of the stoic redhead.

After a moment of awkward silence, Gaara answered in a slow, monotone voice, “Yes, I have delivered the message and we may now leave this place.”

“Great!” chirped Naruto, wondering how he was supposed to live through a week of deadpan company. “Are you hungry, Gaara-san? I know a great ramen shop!” Naruto figured it would be best to act as passionate as possible – without pulling a Lee – to make up for Gaara’s boring personality. Or lack thereof.

Gaara stared at him, waiting again before answering, as if carefully picking his words, “There is no need to call me ‘Gaara-san.’ Just ‘Gaara’ will do.”

“Oh, okay Gaara! Then you must call me ‘Naruto!’ Now, to the ramen!” Naruto walked semi-quickly, which was his natural pace, figuring Gaara could keep up. Gaara followed Naruto through the streets of Konoha, ever silent, as Naruto chatted animatedly about every store they passed.

“And here’s Ino’s flower shop,” Naruto gushed, wondering if Gaara was even listening, or if this was just a strange re-creation of his and Sakura’s walk an hour ago. “Ino’s not too bad, if she’s not mad at you, anyways. Her flowers are the most beautiful in all of Konoha, or at least that’s what all the women say. Well, moving on…”

Not soon enough, they ducked through the cloth flaps that surrounded Ichiraku’s ramen shop, taking a seat on the wooden stools. The owner, recognizing his most loyal customer called out, “Hey there Naruto! Who’s your friend?”

“Hey there! Oh, this is Gaara; he’s visiting from Suna for a little bit!” After that, Naruto ordered three bowls of his favorite ramen, only wanting a light snack.

Turning to the unreadable man beside him, Naruto asked what Gaara wanted to eat.

Awkward silence.

“I will just have whatever you’re having, but one bowl will be plenty, thank you.”

Naruto yelled the order back to the owner, wondering if there had been a trace of dry humor laced in Gaara’s voice just then.

“So,” Naruto said, desperately trying to come up with small talk, but was saved when Gaara interrupted him.

“You are friends with those two people outside the Hokage’s office, aren’t you?”

‘....I’m tired of you anyway, along with everyone else in this village. No one wants you here. Ask them, they’ll tell you themselves. You mean nothing to them....'

“Uh, yeah, I guess. Why?”

“Just because you can’t hear what goes on inside while *outside* the doors, doesn’t mean you can’t hear from the *inside* what goes on outside.”

“Oh,” Naruto blushed, cringing as he remembered the insults he has exchanged with Kiba, wondering what Gaara thought of that.

“Order up!” the shop owner roared, placing the four steaming bowls in front of the unreadable redhead and tense blonde. Hurriedly, to spare himself from having to talk, Naruto began guzzling the soup.

Gaara carefully ate a few mouthfuls, most of his attention going into watching the blonde inhale the noodles. He waited until Naruto had taken a particularly large mouthful, before asking in his slow, deliberate voice, “Is the one with the red triangles on his face your lover?”

Naruto, utterly shocked and horribly embarrassed, tried to answer, only to have the soup go down the wrong tube, causing him to choke and spew his mouthful of ramen all over the counter and his remaining food. Gaara put his chopsticks down; all of his small appetite had shriveled up and died at the sight before him.

Naruto, cringing at the mess he had made, but ignoring it, turned his incredulous face towards Gaara, “Why in hell would you think that Kiba and I were… lovers?!”

“Well are you? I seem to remember you talking about him licking your butt.”

“WHAT!? NO! Kami-sama! No!” Naruto thought that if his face heated up any more than it already was, his head might explode.

“Well what about the white-eyed girl, then? She seemed to have you and…’ Kiba’… pretty pussy-whipped.”

“Well, I mean, yeah, she *used* to have a thing for me, but not anymore! In fact I’m pretty sure she and Kiba are a thing now! Why would you say all that?!” Dimly, Naruto wondered if having his head explode was Gaara’s plan after all. Well, he thought with grim good humor, it *would* get rid of his ‘body guard.’

“It seems you don’t like me asking you this. Why is that?”

“B-because,” Naruto sputtered, aghast, “I barely know you, and these questions are very random, and *very* personal!”

“Hn.”

“…?”

“I’m sorry if I upset you, I was just curious.”

Naruto sighed, some of the blood leaving his face; only his cheeks were red now. “It’s alright, I’m sorry I reacted so… poorly,” he gestured to the disaster on the counter in front of them.

“It’s fine,” Gaara said shortly, producing some money and throwing it down on his – clean – part of the counter.

“But—“ Naruto protested, *he* was going to pay! Gaara silenced him with a look, walking out from under the shop’s roof, and stretched his arms out over his head. Naruto stood silently beside him, unsure what Gaara wanted.

Awkward silence as Gaara stared at him, apparently waiting for something. Naruto fidgeted under the scrutinizing teal gaze. Finally Gaara sighed, “Isn’t there a mountain around here that your village is fond of?”

Happy to have a task once again, Naruto once again became his sunny self, leading the way to the Hokage Mountain.

Gaara allowed himself to be dragged to the mountain and stared at the huge faces for a few minutes, then looked at the blonde in a ‘this-is-it?’ way. He followed the blonde ninja to the top of the mountain, where they sat on the top of Tsunade’s head.

Gaara listened to all of Naruto’s chatter, mostly about stores and the people who owned them, filing it all away. Occasionally he would ask a question, or ‘hn,’ but that was all. Gaara was amazed that Naruto had been able to keep up this one-sided conversation as long as he had. Most people just gave up talking to him after the first fifteen minutes, but apparently this man *refused* to give up.

Eventually, Naruto had lured Gaara out of his isolation enough to make a few comments about his homeland, Suna, and Naruto listened with rapt attention, asking dozens of questions, which Gaara ignored.

They stayed there on the mountain until the sun was setting and Naruto grudgingly stood, stretching out his long, feline body. His whisker marks were distorted as he yawned hugely.

“We better get going. Where are you staying, Gaara?”

Moment of silence. “I don’t know.”

Naruto laughed, “Didn’t you book a room at a hotel or something before you came?”

Gaara stared at him. Was he supposed to have done that? “No.”

“Oh… Well, it’s not very dignified, but you can stay with me, I guess. If you don’t mind sleeping on my couch. It would only be for one night; I’ll get you your own room tomorrow, I promise.” Naruto smiled.

Gaara stared at that smile, blown away that it was actually directed at *him.* But then, he thought, this man doesn’t know what I *am.*

“No, I don’t mind sleeping on your couch.”

“Okay, great! Let’s go!” Naruto ran swiftly over the rooftops, sensing, but not hearing, Gaara run beside him. They stopped at his building, dropping onto the landing outside his door. Gaara stood silently as Naruto unlocked, then opened the door.

Gaara surveyed the apartment without expression. It was small and cluttered, but warm and welcoming.

“It’s not much,” Naruto said hastily, suddenly self-conscious, “But it’s home.”

Gaara nodded, he liked it. He watched as a flustered Naruto cleared food bags and papers off of the couch, brushing off crumbs and other unidentifiable things. Gaara sat on the sofa, liking the way he seemed to sink into the cushions; the effect almost reminded him of sand.

Naruto disappeared, then came back hauling a pillow and two large blankets. “I don’t know how cold you get at night, so here are a few blankets. If you need more, just let me know.” The way Naruto was fussing, reminded Gaara of a mother hen, and he suppressed a smile.

“Naruto,” he said slowly, but not unkindly, “I don’t sleep.”

Naruto blinked. “What? How can you *not* sleep?”

Gaara looked away, not wanting to tell the happy blonde he was a monster, but not wanting to lie, either. Lies were pointless, they would only complicate matters later. “Would you mind if I waited to answer that? I would rather tell you tomorrow.”

No use scaring the poor man now, he thought. I should let him sleep without worrying about a beast coming in and slitting his throat.

Naruto cocked his head to one side, his eyes cloudy with confusion, but didn’t press Gaara for answers. “Alright,” he said finally, “I’ll wait until tomorrow.”

Gaara nodded.

“Do you want some movies to watch or something then? If you’re not going to sleep, then I don’t want you to be bored.”

Gaara actually chuckled quietly, stunning Naruto. “Sure,” the redhead said finally. Naruto, still reeling at Gaara’s laugh –LAUGH! – went a gathered an armload of movies, placing them beside his television. After a quick crash-course on how to operate the machine, Naruto bid Gaara ‘good night’ and went to his room.

Naruto walked into his bedroom, grabbed his pajamas and went to the adjoining bathroom to change. As soon as he opened the door, he balked. Dried blood stained the ground and toilet seat and sink, and the responsible kunai still lay on the ground. The metallic scent washed over him powerfully, and he gagged.

Fighting the sudden dizziness, he quickly wetted a towel, wiping away all traces of the brown-red blood. He grabbed a small jug of bleach from below the sink, following the same path with the cleanser.

The burning smell of bleach blocked out the scent of blood, but caused Naruto’s eyes to water, and did nothing but add to the fox container’s dizziness.

The task finally complete, Naruto prayed Gaara couldn’t smell the reeking bleach, or worse, the blood that had previously coated the small room.

After quickly changing into his pajamas, which he had dropped at first sight of the room, changing his bandages – he’d bled through the first wrap – and brushing his teeth, he stumbled back to his room, firmly closing the door to the bathroom behind him.

He dumped his clothes in a heap on his floor, suddenly tired. He had one knee on his bed, and was about to flop down, when he remembered he had a potential enemy spy in his living room watching old-school anime movies. He could hear ‘Akira’ ringing out from the TV’s speakers.

He stood again, wondering what to do. There was no way he could just trust Gaara to stay inside all night while Naruto slept. But there was also no way Naruto could stay up every night – and day! – for an entire week to watch the sand ninja.

Suddenly, it hit him. Grinning, Naruto bit down *hard* on his thumb, drawing blood.

“Summoning Jutsu!” Naruto whispered fervently, his hand placed on the carpet of his floor. Black symbols shot out from under his hand, creating a circle of writing, before it vanished. Naruto jumped back and, with a poof of smoke, Gamakichi crouched there.

The small orange and blue toad looked up at Naruto curiously, his beady golden eyes widening with wonder when Naruto covered his mouth for silence.

“Gamakichi,” Naruto whispered, “In the other room is a man called Sabaku no Gaara, of Suna.”

Gamakichi’s eyes widened even more, partly with awe, but mostly fear. Whispering as well, he replied, “Yes, I know of him. What’s he doing *here?*”

“Why do *you* know of him? Oh never mind. Look, the Hokage’s worried he might be a spy from Suna, and I’m supposed to watch him and make sure he doesn’t learn anything important. But I have a problem: he doesn’t sleep, for some reason. I’ve been up all day and I’m exhausted. I need *you* to watch him at night and wake me if he disappears. Can you do that?”

“For Konoha, Lady Tsunade, and you: yes, I’ll do it. I’ll watch him for you while you sleep.”

“And you make sure not to be fooled by clones or anything!”

“As if I would!” the little toad replied, offended.

Naruto patted his head, “Just making sure. Be on your guard now, and thank you.”

“No problem, boss.”

~~~

Gamakichi eased himself into the kitchen area, positioning himself in a shadowed corner, completely invisible to the TV-watching sand nin. Yes, he would *watch* Gaara, for all the good that it would do.

If Gaara wanted to destroy this village, he would just do it, and no one could stop him. The fact that Naruto and the others thought Gaara was just a *spy* made Gamakichi laugh in disbelieving horror. No, this man was not a spy, but the carrier of the actual apocalypse.

It seemed the Leaf nin were ignorant to this, which made him suspect Gaara all the more. In the morning, Gamakichi told himself, he would tell Naruto the gravity of his situation.

That he was housing a fellow demon: Shukaku.

~~~

Gaara watched the movies the blonde had set out for him, completely confused by the display of kindness, but happy to receive it.

He had just begun the movie ‘Akira’ when he felt himself go rigid, his blood burn and his eyes roll back into his head. He breathed laboriously, trying to ignore the growling and screaming of Shukaku in his mind as the smell of blood washed over him.

Gaara twisted and shuddered silently, fighting for control of his mind and body as blood lust boiled in his body. Gaara *ached* to go out a rip some defenseless person apart, bathing in their warm blood, making Gaara feel *alive.*

Gaara was quickly losing control, which is why he sighed in relief when the smell of bleach covered the scent of blood. Once Gaara could smell the bleach, he regained his strength and could suppress the longing for death. Of course Shukaku still tried to escape, but Gaara firmly pushed him back into his cage, locking it tight.

A minute later, all was back to normal. Gaara resumed watching ‘Akira,’ wondering about the sudden outburst of blood, and wondering if Naruto had hurt himself or something. Since he hadn’t heard a yell or any sort, he thought not.

Gaara contemplated going and confronting the blonde about it, but decided not to. Naruto had been kind enough not to press Gaara about the permanent insomnia thing, and Gaara figured he could return the favor.

Resettling back into the sand-like couch, Gaara wrapped up in a soft blue blanket that smelled like Naruto. If he closed his eyes he could see that tan, smiling face floating there, laughing and calling out his name.

Gaara didn’t know what was happening or why, but when he thought about Naruto, his usually frozen heart seemed to thaw, just a tiny bit.

Confused by this sudden *emotion* existing in his body, Gaara refused to think about it, instead, he focused all his attention on the movie.

~~~

Naruto fell asleep the moment his head touched the pillow, and he began to dream….


Naruto walked down a street in Konoha, although the village was barely recognizable. Fire burned everywhere, reducing the buildings of the village he loved to ashes. He walked past Ino’s flower shop – on the same street he and Gaara had walked down this afternoon. The flowers there were burning, filling the air with a floral-smoke scent. It was suffocating.

Naruto continued down the streets, finding no people or animals, only fire. It was when he reached the crumbling ruins of the Hokage Tower that he realized he was consumed by the Nothingness again. He didn’t feel sad or angry about what was happening to his home; he didn’t feel, period.

He saw shadows fill the sky, blotting out the stars and moon and encasing the world in hopelessness. The shadows swirled around Naruto, caressing him with their slimy coldness. Naruto walked to the Hokage Mountain, seeing the faces had broken away in places, but not caring. He made his way to the top of Tsunade’s head and wasn’t surprised to see Gaara was there as well.

The flames danced around Gaara, but never dared to touch him. Naruto came and stood beside the silent redhead. From there, the two of them could look down on all of Konoha – what was left of it, anyways.

“Where are all the people?” Naruto heard his own voice as if it didn’t belong to him. It just as detached and emotionless as Gaara’s always was.

“They are all dead.”

“Oh. Who killed them?”

“I did.”

“Oh. Why did you do that?”

“To feel.”

“Oh.”

Naruto looked at Gaara’s face; its paleness was unblemished although the world around them was churning with ash. Naruto dimly wondered why Gaara had funny gold eyes instead of teal ones. Not only were they a deep yellow color, but his pupil had morphed into a four-pointed star, with four dots, one in between each spike if the star.

Gaara was staring back at him, “Why do you have red eyes?”


Naruto woke from the dream with a gasp, sitting bolt upright, covered with cold sweat. Immediately Gamakichi was by his side, asking what was wrong.

“Has he tried to leave?” Naruto asked hoarsely, as if he’d been breathing in ash. Naruto shivered.

“No, he’s watching movies still. Boss, you should try to sleep more.” You’re gonna need it, he added silently to himself.

“Yeah,” Naruto sighed, wiping a hand over his face. “Alright, thanks Gamakichi, go ahead and go back now.”

“Sweet dreams, Boss.”

“I hope so,” muttered Naruto, before slipping into a pit of endless shadows.

The sun slowly rose over the horizon, flooding the tree-surrounded village with sunbeams. Naruto had heavy black curtains drawn over his window, enabling him to sleep even during the day – one of the reasons he was always late, and incurring Sakura’s wrath. However, the material wasn’t quite long enough to conceal the entire window, and a small strip of glass went uncovered on either side of the covering.

A ray of sunlight wormed its way into Naruto’s room through that very crack. It traveled along his pillow, coming closer to his slack face as the sun rose higher. Eventually, the light landed right across the blonde’s eyes, and he groaned, turning over, his back to the window.

Nevertheless, the damage had been done, and Naruto slowly surfaced back to consciousness. He blinked once, twice, then became fully aware.

He leapt out of his bed, ignoring his scruffy appearance, and hurriedly made his way to the living room, his mind panicked.

What if Gaara got away? he worried to himself, He killed Gamakichi and left and he’s out there right now, learning Konoha’s secrets!

His fears were unnecessary, though, because as soon as he exited his room and entered the living area he saw Gaara sitting peacefully at his kitchen table. Sighing, Naruto made his way to the table, throwing himself into a second chair.

Gaara looked up from the bowl of cereal he’d been eating, looking over Naruto appraisingly. He took in the wild bed-hair that had half of the golden locks standing straight up and the other half completely flat. He noted, rather lustily, the way Naruto’s thin wife-beater tank-top clung to the chiseled, tan chest. His eyes roved lower; Naruto’s loose, flannel pajama pants hung *low* on his golden hips, accentuating Naruto’s flat abdomen and narrow waist. His gaze traveled back up to Naruto’s face, and Gaara fell into the vast oceans that were Naruto’s eyes.

Naruto, completely oblivious to all this, had been preparing his own bowl of cereal. He looked up at Gaara, asking ignorantly, “Hey, where’s the milk?” He gestured to his heaping bowl with a spoon, and then to the milk-less tabletop.

Gaara looked down at his bowl of dry cereal. You add milk to this? He looked back up at Naruto, his eyes questioning and Naruto laughed, though not meanly.

“You eat cereal with milk! Have you ever had cereal before?” Gaara shook his head ‘no,’ and Naruto, chuckling, went and collected it from the fridge. After dumping a generous portion into his own bowl, he offered it to the redhead who slowly shook his head again.

“No thanks. I like it the way it is.” He went back to nibbling the dry cereal, and a smiling Naruto shook his head. They finished their breakfast in companionable silence.

Afterward, Naruto went to clean himself up, greatly embarrassed when he caught sight of his hideous hair. He dressed and readied himself for the day, stowing away hidden weapons and the like. All the while, he had been conversing with Gaara – at *top* volume, so they could hear each other through the closed doors – asking which movies Gaara had watched and liked best and why.

Gaara, unused to such attention, answered blandly, until Naruto’s pestering got too annoying.

After Naruto was ready, he and Gaara left his apartment, once again taking to the streets of Konoha. They wandered aimlessly at first, for Naruto was struggling with a problem and was too preoccupied with that to be a good guide. Gaara simply walked alongside him, not demanding conversation or entertainment, but left Naruto to his thoughts.

Naruto stared at Gaara from the corners of his eyes, wanting to ask, but too shy.

I know, he scolded himself incredulously, I chose *now* of all times to get shy, but he’s just so… unapproachable!

What Naruto was dying to ask, was why Gaara didn’t sleep. If the redhead guessed what was troubling Naruto, he didn’t seem inclined to help him bring up the subject. Naruto frowned, frustrated. He didn’t want to be rude, but his curiosity was *killing* him!

He mentally rolled his eyes. This is stupid, he told himself, we’ll just get something to eat and then I’ll ask him! I will! Believe it! Maybe I’ll take him to Subarashiiko, yeah, that’s a good idea. Everyone relaxes there, even emotionless Sand nin. I hope…

They ended up back at Ichiraku’s for lunch, then meandered out of Konoha’s village gates. They walked along the wide, dirt road that was used by merchants and travelers, until Naruto suddenly swerved off the beaten trial and onto a barely visible strip of dirt that led into the trees. Silently, Gaara followed him, wondering where Naruto was going.

It was obvious that Naruto had a destination in mind, because unless you *knew* that the trail was there, you never would have seen it, and Naruto was leading him without hesitation.

Naruto walked for a long time, still not speaking, until he finally let out a sigh of contentment. Gaara peered around Naruto’s shoulder to see where they’d ended up. They were standing at the top of a steep hill, and a small trail wound its way down to the level ground below.

Although they were still surrounded by trees on all sides, they were standing on the edge of a clearing, probably about half the size of Konoha itself. The ground was strangely flat, and completely covered by knee-high wildflowers of every imaginable color. At the heart of the clearing was a small, clear lake.

Naruto simply jumped off the small cliff, onto the ground below and began walking towards the lake. Gaara followed, inhaling the sweet scent put off by the flowers. It was making him a little light-headed, as if he’d been drinking sake.

Naruto sat down at the edge of the lake and ripped off his socks and shoes, rolled up his gaudy orange pant legs and plunged his feet into the water, sighing happily. It was a hot day, and the water cooled him off nicely.

Gaara didn’t put his feet in the water, or even sit. He stood beside Naruto, about a foot away, simply gazing at the beautiful scenery around him. He included Naruto in that picture.

Honestly, the man was so stupidly gorgeous. His long legs were stretched out in front of him, the water lapping at his toes and calves. The orange fabric clung to his muscled thighs, and the waistband of the pants was low, exposing a tantalizing strip of tan skin before he was covered up again by his shirt. He wore a long-sleeved black shirt, even though it had to be stifling, and a jounin’s vest on top of that.

He was leaned back on his elbows, his head thrown back, exposing his delicious-looking neck as the blonde soaked up the sun’s rays. His hair seemed to glow in the light and Gaara could see the little movements of Naruto’s eyes under his eyelids.

Beautiful.

Gaara, while leaving Naruto to his thoughts, had had time to analyze his own strange feelings.

He usually didn’t have *feelings* towards people, period, but this man was different. Whenever Gaara looked at him, he felt something within himself leap in recognition, and a heat pool in his lower belly. Gaara wanted to hold this man, and never let him go.

Naruto’s bright, sunny attitude lit up Gaara’s shadowy existence, and he was able to truly *feel* for the first time in his life. Sure, when he was killing he felt alive, but it was more like a mad rush of adrenaline that hit like a force of nature, then disappeared in a second, leaving him more broken and desolate than before.

Being around Naruto was like a healing balm. The emotions formerly foreign to him – curiosity, happiness, amusement – came at a steady pace and seemed to radiate heat inside his icy heart.

He had never cared for another human being – he’d been betrayed too many times to trust anyone but himself. However, Naruto’s trusting, innocent nature – the opposite of Gaara’s own – seemed to complete the redhead.

Lately, these past few hours, Gaara had been acutely aware of Naruto’s presence. How close their bodies were, every little movement Naruto made, the way Naruto smiled at him. It was like a time bomb had been placed within Gaara, and he could feel it getting closer and closer to detonation, the longer he hung around the ravishing man.

And that’s what he wanted to do – ravish him.

Gaara shook his head, coming back to reality. No, he firmly told himself, You are not allowed to get involved with the people in this village. No attachment means no hesitation. I cannot afford to make mistakes.

“—ra?” Naruto was looking up at him curiously.

“Sorry. I was thinking. What did you ask me?”

Still looking closely at him, Naruto repeated, “I said, are you gonna sit down?”

Gaara wanted to, he really did. But it would be tempting fate to get so close to that lean body, which was sprawled out so appealingly…

“No.”

Naruto looked crestfallen. Gaara almost caved. Almost.

“Oh, alright… So, Gaara?”

Gaara’s stomach muscles quivered at the way he said his name.

“Hn?”

Naruto was just about to ask when, at the last second, he chickened out. “Er, this place, it’s great, isn’t it?” Gaara just nodded. “It’s called ‘Subarashiiko,’ meaning Lake of Loveliness.”

Gaara could see why.

Naruto summoned his courage and tried again, “Uh, so, you remember last night?”

“Yes.”

“Well, uh, you said that you would tell me, uh, about the whole ‘I-don’t-sleep’ thing today. If you don’t mind… would you tell me now?”

Gaara frowned, I don’t want to ruin this peaceful place with my ugly truths. Damn.

“Do you know about demons? Real demons, not fairy-tale stories, but true monsters?”

Naruto flinched, and his answer was quiet, “Yeah I know a thing or two… Why?”

“I have one inside my body.” Gaara didn’t hesitate, or show any emotion as he spoke aloud his darkest secret. He waited, evaluating Naruto’s expressions, for the blonde to start screaming and running away from him.

~~~

Naruto’s body seemed to be made of lead; he couldn’t move. His head was spinning like a top and he trembled slightly. He could feel a mask of shock carve itself onto his features, but couldn’t stop it.

Despite his outward symptoms of surprise, he was actually the happiest he’d ever been in his life. His heart seemed to swell so much he worried it might burst. Butterflies fluttered around in his stomach and his toes curled.

Although his mind was a whirlwind of chaos, one thought shone brightly, shoving away all the rest: I AM NOT ALONE!

It was as if the glass wall that separated Naruto from the rest of society had been shattered, and Naruto breathed in fresh air for the first time. Joy bubbled up in his throat, and he cast aside his foolish surprise. What did shock matter when he had found someone who could understand him in a way no one else ever could?!

Naruto leapt up, feeling light as a feather, and threw himself at Gaara.

~~~

Gaara saw Naruto lunge at him, and he felt his warm, human heart freeze back into one that belonged to the undead. Naruto knew the truth about him and was attacking him. Naruto was trying to kill him. Exterminate the monster.

Gaara unemotionally dissolved his gourd, sending up a wall of sand to protect him. He mentally cringed at Shukaku’s bellowing laugh inside his mind.

What he hadn’t expected was for Naruto to be able to get past his sand. His mind screamed, Impossible! But a smaller, quieter part of him sighed with relief; I finally get to die…

He closed his eyes, waiting for the killing blow to come.

~~~

Naruto called on the Kyuubi’s chakra, using it to blast his way through Gaara’s sand wall, desperate to get to the redhead. As he broke through the barrier he saw a fleeting look of shock cross Gaara’s flawless face before it was replaced by acceptance. This peace belonged to someone who could see their death approaching, and welcomed it.

Naruto was overcome with guilt; He thinks I’m attacking him! Well I’d better straighten this out!

He flung his body against Gaara’s, his strong arms wrapping around Gaara’s torso, crushing them together as they crashed to the ground. Naruto buried his face under Gaara’s chin and inhaled the delicious warm scent that rolled off the man.

Naruto felt as if he was hugging a pillar of stone. Gaara had frozen so badly that Naruto wondered if Gaara had somehow turned inanimate. He looked up shyly from under his lashes into the balking face above him.

Naruto snuggled closer to Gaara, then whispered in Gaara’s ear, “I’m a Jinchuuriki as well. Kyuubi resides in me.”

~~~

Gaara shivered as he felt Naruto’s hot breath on his ear, “I’m a Jinchuuriki as well. Kyuubi resides in me.”
Gaara’s heart cracked again, but this time it wasn’t from pain. The ice encasement that had clung to him his entire life splintered around the edges, and then broke away completely at Naruto’s words. He felt his throat tighten up and his eyes become itchy, but he refused to cry. He was Gaara. He did not cry.

He was suddenly overwhelmed with a rush of emotions. Having Naruto laying on top of him, softly breathing on his neck, telling him about the fox demon had Gaara feeling tipsy with joy.

Naruto doesn’t hate me! We’re the same! He doesn’t fear me! He’s hugging me!

His thought-process was fuzzy and slow.

He’s hugging me. Laying on me. Breathing on me. Hot breath. Heat. Oh Kami-sama, Naruto...

His brain functions shut down to the bare minimum as he snaked his pale arms around the blonde, pulling him tight against his chest in an almost painful way. Naruto didn’t mind, he clung right back.

They lay there, holding each other in the warm sun, feeling happiness and peace settle into their very bones.

~~~

Eventually, Naruto and Gaara had gotten up, woken from their happy slumber by Naruto’s growling stomach. Naruto blushed furiously, but then decided it was worth it when Gaara flashed him a small smile. They walked back to Konoha, hand in hand, until they reached the gate. Once there, Gaara resumed his chilling exterior and Naruto tried his best to look strained and tense.

It was sadly comical that, for once in his life, Naruto had to pretend to be *unhappy* instead of the other way around.

Naruto and Gaara went back to Ichiraku’s, yet again, for another meal. While there Gaara complained, “Do you not have any food in your house or something? Or are you a bad cook?”

Naruto beamed, “Neither! I just love ramen! It’s delicious!”

“…For *every* meal…?”

“Of course!”

“Hn. That won’t do. I cannot eat ramen for every meal, every day.” Naruto pouted cutely, but Gaara held firm. “Is there a place to buy food around here? A market of some kind?”

“Yes, we could go there tomorrow if you like.”

“Good. Are you ready to go?” Gaara had finished his bowl in the time it took Naruto to finish ten.

*SLUUUURP!*

“Yep.”

Shaking his head, Gaara followed Naruto back to his house.

Neither of them mentioned a hotel room for Gaara again.

That night, Gaara finished the last of the movies Naruto had given him while the blonde slept. If Gaara noticed the small orange and blue toad watching him, he said nothing.


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A/N: Just a few quick things!

First, from here on out I’ll try to keep Gaara’s personality as close to the original as possible, but it’s gonna change a little!

Also, I know people are ready for some steamy gaanaru smut in this fic and I kinda teased you a bit in this chapter… You thought they were gonna get freaky by the lake, didn’t cha? Haha, sorry, but no! I’ll try and get some up soon, though. I just don’t want it to be random and then screw up my plot! I promise it will happen eventually!!!

And finally, PLEASE REVIEW! @.@ ….pretty please?