Although my first mission as a Chuunin had been a success, I felt uncomfortable. Was it because it had been so easy? Or, perhaps, because of what had nearly happened? I shivered, but convinced myself that it was because of the cold wind tearing at me. I was supposed to be impassive. I had to be, to remain calm and strong. But on that mission, I had nearly spooked my own team. I had blamed it on the trees. They had accepted the lie.

I looked up into the night sky. If it weren’t for my sleepiness, I would have thought it was morning. The moon was that bright. I blinked as a drop of rain landed on my cheek, and I turned my face down again. I was exhausted, and hardly noticed as the rain began to pour down in sheets. Was the sky weeping? I wondered. It had reason to, at least, since it had seen so much slaughter.

This war was beginning to get to me. Even they had noticed. My emotions had been flaring recently, usually in anger, not to mention fear. It was happening with everyone else, too, but I heard them talking about me at night, when no one dared to try and sleep. Either we would get ambushed and killed, or you would wake from nightmares, screaming.

I cursed the rain. I cursed the whole damn war. I clenched my hands into fists to keep them from trembling, but it didn’t work. I merely shook harder. Visions ran through my mind, distorting the true memories into some living nightmare. No, I thought. This war is a living nightmare, a living hell. Not these screwed up memories. But it wasn’t as if the real memories were much better.

I heard voices. One was Uzumaki, the other was Hyuuga. The girl. I knew that she was tending to the bullet hole in Uzumaki’s chest. He had been lucky that it was only his chest, not his neck or face. Even so, the Kyuubi’s healing power probably would have saved him anyways. It was also possible that he would have died. He’s had that wound for about a week now, and it still wasn’t fully healed.

It was a good thing that Inzuka had sniffed out the sniper. Otherwise, we probably would have lost a lot more ninja then we did. Even so, that one loss had devastated us. Rock had been in the infirmary for a week straight. He had refused to believe his sensei had been killed. Still, he believed his sensei was alive, and could often be found talking to himself and claiming he was speaking with his sensei.

Damn this war. I seemed to be thinking that a lot.

Uzumaki and Hyuuga’s voices faded. Hyuuga was going back to the tent she’d been assigned. I waited to hear Uzumaki make his way into his own tent before moving from my spot on top of the hill that overlooked the camp. I set and armed some mines and claymores, then rubbed my face in hopes of waking myself up more.

I spotted Akimichi and Tenten making their way up the hill. They had night watch tonight. I nodded to them as they came up, made a hand signal that indicated that I had planted explosives, and then left after they nodded in reply.

I went into the Chuunin’s tent that I had been assigned to. Nara was there, playing chess with himself. When he heard my footsteps, he jerked his head up, eyes wide, but calmed when he recognized me. “Damn near made me piss myself,” he muttered. “I thought you were on patrol tonight.”

I shook my head. “They moved it up to a Jounin,” I replied, sitting on my bunk.

“Which?” Nara asked.

I shrugged. “Mitarashi, from what I know.”

“Who?”

“Anko,” I clarified. It felt odd using her first name. We tended to call everyone by their surnames.

“Oh. I thought she got injured?”

“Apparently not,” I replied.

Nara shrugged, and continued playing chess. I lay down on my bunk, despite the fact that it was hardly softer than a rock, and was still. I got the only rest that I could in the middle of a war- a sort of meditation. I only moved when I heard someone- Aburame, it happened to be- come in.

He nodded to us and lay down on his own bunk, resting with his rifle at his side. I noticed that he wasn’t wearing his glasses, and remembered that they had been shot off. He was lucky that he had been wearing them, or else he probably would’ve been killed. I reminded myself to find a new pair of glasses for him, and myself as well.

Somehow, I managed to fall asleep. Apparently, my mind was too exhausted to even think up nightmares, because when I awoke, I wasn’t screaming. But everyone around me was.

I could hear bombs going off, and ‘copters and jets doing flybys. Damn, I thought as I jumped from my bunk, they’re bombing us!

A bomb hit the tent, and I went flying. Luckily, I had a deathgrip on my pistol. I tried to shut out the screaming around me, and tried to concentrate my sight. I saw the enemy Cloud ninja jumping from the transport ‘copters and shot in their direction, but my ammo quickly ran out.

One of them noticed me and shot in my direction. Five shots. Four missed. The fifth landed in my leg with an explosion of pain. Shit, I thought, trying to ignore it. It looked like I was going to get shot again, but someone opened up and gunned the group of Cloud ninja down. I mentally thanked whoever it was.

I looked around for something to use against the enemy, found a grenade, pulled the pin, and tossed it into a group of Cloud ninja. I didn’t even look to see the effect, but tried to drag myself to some cover. The bombs were still coming down. One landed near me, and I managed to cover my head. I felt shrapnel burry itself in various parts of my skin, and unwillingly let out a sharp cry as I was lifted off the ground and slammed back down from the force of the explosion.

Medic ninja were running around, trying to get to as many on our side as they could. One came to me and quickly wrapped the bullet hole in my leg with bandages to reduce the bleeding, and applied some other various bandages as well. She then raced off to help another ninja.

I groped around and found another weapon- someone’s rifle. I fired it into any enemy I could find. When the ammo was spent, I dropped the weapon and dragged myself across the ground to look for another.

The chaos went on for what seemed to be forever. Finally, some of our own ‘copters came. The Cloud were winning this fight, and we were retreating. I dragged myself towards out ‘copters, but I was too slow. I wasn’t going to make it.

Shit, I thought as I saw our ‘copters fly off. All of our allies had made it off onto the ‘copters. The only ones remaining were the enemy, the dead, and me. I acted as if I were dead as well, hoping that the Cloud ninja wouldn’t notice me and that I would somehow be able to escape…

“Over there!” I heard someone shout, in my direction. It wasn’t a familiar voice, and had a northern accent. I opened my eyes soon enough to see the butt of a rifle slamming into my face. So much for playing dead, I thought before going unconscious.

When I awoke, I was in a dark room, tied up and sitting on a cold, stone-hard chair. A Cloud ninja- a Jounin, I guessed- was looking at me, his arms crossed. He had light blonde hair and annoyingly bright blue eyes.


“You a Konoha Jounin?” he asked.


I said nothing, but my mind was racing. Damn, they had caught me. I’ll get interrogated, tortured for information, and killed if I was of no use. Damn…


“What’s your name?”


Again, I didn’t reply, but I looked around the room. Or at least, I tried to. I saw nothing, as it was all hidden in shadow. All I saw was the Cloud ninja’s face, and the bright eyes that were staring at me as if I was a wild animal.


“I’m Kyuu Hanashi, a Cloud Jounin. What about you?”


He was trying a different approach. It didn’t work, and I said nothing.


He punched me in the face. I heard my nose cracking and felt blood trickling out, and flinched in pain. Kyuu brought his face close to mine. “You’re one frickin’ ass, you know that? All you Konoha ninja are. Now tell me, what rank are you?”


I didn’t reply. He punched me again. He asked me questions. I didn’t answer, and I got punched. The process went on for a while, but then he shrugged and left.


Another Cloud ninja came in- a girl with white-blonde hair and light brown eyes. She seemed to be a Chuunin, and smiled at me as she came in. They’re trying another approach, I thought. Probably better than getting my face pulverized.


“I’m Akkei Mei. Call me Mei- no military formalities.” She giggled. It sounded nice. “I just made Chuunin. Are you a Chuunin too?”


I nearly nodded, but I caught myself. What the hell? I thought. She has a strong jutsu…


Mei narrowed her eyes slightly, then cleared her expression and giggled again. “I was really happy when I made Chuunin. Mom and Dad were so proud! Big Brother was proud of me, too. He always wanted me to grow up like him! What about you? Was your family proud?”


I stiffened, clamping my jaw shut. One part of my brain was telling me to explain everything to Mei. She seemed so nice, so caring…but the rational part of my mind was screaming at me to not trust her. She was the enemy. The rational part of my mind won.


Mei glared at me, and punched me in the mouth- far harder than Kyuu had. I tasted blood. Mei brought her face close to mine. “Tell me!” she shrieked. “It’s rude to not answer a woman’s questions!”


I spat the blood in my mouth at her face. She screamed with rage and stormed off.


I was left alone for a while. A few hours, I think. I couldn’t really tell. I felt numb- I didn’t feel the pain in my leg, or where the shrapnel from the bomb was. I didn’t feel my broken nose. All I was aware of was that I was alone.


Finally, Kyuu returned. He smiled wickedly. “You’re gonna tell me your everything about Konoha, Uchiha Sasuke, Chuunin.”


I blinked in surprise. How the hell did he know who I was?


“Do you want to know how we found out about you? Well, it was quite simple, really. You have the trademark appearance of an Uchiha, and there are only two remaining in the world, aren’t there? One is a missing-nin, and the other is you. We found your profile. We know your strengths, and we know your weaknesses. Or, should I say…your weakness. Your profile only hints on one weakness.”


Only one weakness? I wondered. What did the profile say, then?


Kyuu smiled again, the malice obvious. “There’s one kunoichi…”


I swallowed. He had better not say what I think he’s going to say.


“Haruno Sakura.”


Shit. He had said it. That was bad.


“What’d you do to her?” I snarled, my voice hoarse.


“Oh, nothing…not yet. But we know where she is, and we can easily send in a squad to capture her. Then we can bring her back here and have her tortured in front of you until you tell us what we want to know,” Kyuu said.


I hated the calmness in his tone. I wanted to grab his throat and strangle him. That calmness was infuriating, as was that smile. “Jackass,” was all I could say.


Kyuu laughed. The harsh sound rang in my ears, insulting me. “Such cruel words,” he mocked. Then, suddenly, he punched me in the gut and glared at me. “But, before we do that, we’re going to torture you, and break you. Then we’ll bring in that kunoichi.” He stormed off, leaving me alone with my thoughts.


It went on for weeks. I lost track how long. Each day, Kyuu would come in and eat food in front of me, then beat the hell out of me. I was exhausted, sore, and starving. I rarely talked, but when I did, it was to cuss at Kyuu. He would normally shrug and leave.


I hadn’t broken yet, but I felt that I was going to soon. I managed to get on Kyuu’s nerves a lot, which would lead to him going from the room and unknowingly giving me a rest from the torturing. He seemed to enjoy torturing me, though.


Nothing much happened for a while, other than the fact that I threw up when Kyuu ate a bowl of rice in front of me. He was pretty pissed off, seeing as some of the puke landed on him. He didn’t eat in front of me again.


One night, though, I felt the building shake. Bombs were being dropped. One exploded in a room near to the one I was in. Due to the blow, I was sent flying off the chair I had previously been in. I landed, hard, on a rough-edged piece of cement. Although I winced from the pain, I rubbed against the piece of cement, which finally broke through the roped I had been tied with.


I stood up, but was knocked down again from another blast. This one was closer. I had to get out, and soon, otherwise I’d end up getting blown to pieces. Too late- something fell from a shelf, and onto my head. Something heavy. There goes my consciousness again, I thought irritably.

When I awoke, I was outside. I felt cold drops of water running down my face. Rain, I guessed. It seemed like I was on grass, but I couldn’t tell. I opened my eyes. Uzumaki, Nara, and Aburame were looking at me.


“Finally, you’re awake. We thought you were dead,” Nara commented. “Come on. Hatake wants to talk with you.”


I nodded, stood, and followed Nara over to a small tent. He jerked his head to the flap, which I pushed open and entered through. Hatake was sitting on a mat, reading over some scrolls. His normally tired-looking eye seemed even wearier. He glanced up at me, and nodded. “You didn’t tell them anything?”


I shook my head. “No, sir.”


“Good. Hokage-sama told me to give this mission to you, Uzumaki, and Inzuka. They captured Haruno, and we need her back. As you know, she’s the best here with illusions. I’ve already informed Uzumaki and Inzuka. They’ll be waiting for you. I want as few casualties as possible. Once you find Haruno, bring her back. No need for any bloodshed,” Hatake said.


I nodded. “Yes, sir.”


“Good,” he replied, then went back to reading scrolls.


I left the tent, noticed Uzumaki and Inzuka already waiting for me, and we made our way to the Cloud’s base. We didn’t talk much on the way there. It would’ve been hard even if we had wanted to- Inzuka was on point, and Uzumaki was in back. I was chewing on a travel biscuit. It tasted like shit, but I guess it was better than nothing.


We reached the base without incident, and manage to infiltrate it silently. The Cloud seemed to be really cocky about their interior strength. We’d have to be careful. The Cloud weren’t stupid.


Oddly enough, we noticed no Cloud ninja on the way to the hostage room- the one that I had been kept in, I realized. Inzuka had the layout of the base memorized, so he remained on point. I had finished my biscuit, and Uzumaki was still in back.


We reached the hostage room. Inzuka sniffed the room out, reported that he smelled no fresh Cloud ninja scents, and led us in. I spotted Haruno sitting limply on the same chair that I had been in, although the ropes tying her seemed looser. Uzumaki and I quickly went over to her, while Inzuka remained stationed at the door.


Haruno’s breathing was shallow and raspy, but it was there all the same. I breathed a sigh of relief, cut through the ropes with my combat knife, and picked her up. I turned around, just in time to hear multiple rifle shots and Inzuka’s cry of pain. He fell to his knees, holding bullet holes in his chest.


Uzumaki threw an armed grenade into the hallway, and then pulled Inzuka behind the wall. “Shit. We gotta keep this position!” he shouted, arming and throwing another grenade. I nodded, placed Haruno back onto the chair, and fired a machine gun that had been lying on the floor.


The attack from the Cloud lessened, then stopped suddenly. Uzumaki peeked out, tossed another armed grenade, and narrowed his eyes. “They aren’t there,” he reported.


“Then let’s go,” I replied, picking up Haruno again. Uzumaki did the same with Inzuka, who was gritting his teeth to retain a snarl of pain.


We raced out the room and down the hall, then outside. We froze then- there was what seemed to be the entire Cloud army in front of us. None were facing our way. Uzumaki and I stepped back, planning on going around, when one Cloud ninja noticed us and opened fire. We ran for our lives.


I don’t know how many times I got hit, but I know it was a lot. My back was warm with blood and sweat. I’m sure that Uzumaki was injured as well, but we both just kept on running.


Finally, we made it into the forest, where we were safe from shots. Uzumaki and I stopped when we were far enough in to not be followed, and rested. Haruno woke up, saw us wounded, and got to work healing us. First she closed the bullet holes in Inzuka’s chest, then moved on to those in my and Uzumaki’s backs. We started going again, this time with all four of us running for ourselves. But, when we made it back to camp, we wished we hadn’t.


All that remained was a smoking boulder and dead bodies. The Cloud had bombed the shit out of the camp while we were away.


Haruno ran to the bodies, and started seeing if any still had life in them. Inzuka and Uzumaki seemed to be in shock. I left them there and went over to help Haruno. I hardly recognized any of the corpses. It was obvious that none had survived.

So, we four are the only ones from the Konoha army left…I thought. It was hard to take in. I shivered as I looked at the bodies, then fell to my knees and vomited. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the nightmare surrounding me. I felt Haruno’s hand on my shoulder, and looked up into her face. She was smiling weakly, trying to comfort me. I nodded, and she moved on to help Uzumaki and Inzuka.


Before she could get to them, though, Inzuka had stood up and started to walk to us. As he put his foot down, I heard the sound of a mine being tripped. “MINE!” I screamed, grabbing Haruno’s wrist and pulling away from the mine and shutting my eyes. The explosion followed quickly.


I felt heat wash over me, scalding my skin and trying to dry out my eyes, but I kept them firmly shut. I heard screaming, and I wondered if it was me. I couldn’t tell if my mouth was open or not. I hoped the others were okay.


When I realized that the heat had dissipated, I opened my eyes and looked around. Haruno was kneeling over Inzuka, and Uzumaki was sitting beside her. I stood shakily and made my way over to them. Uzumaki was clutching a wound in his arm where part of the mine had buried itself into his skin. He looked scared, but he wasn’t looking at his arm. He was looking at Inzuka, who had gotten the main blast of the mine.


He was lying on the ground, staring at a huge hole in his chest, near his heart. Around the hole was burnt flesh, and beside him was what was left of his shirt and the rest of the mine, both of which were covered in blood. I had seen this happen before, with other ninja. First they would be shocked, then would come the screaming…


What came wasn’t screaming. It was gunshots. “Shit!” Uzumaki said, snapping from his fear. He looked around for a weapon, but all those that had been near us were blown away by the mine’s explosion. “Shit, shit, shit!” Uzumaki repeated. He looked around wildly, and then said, “You guys get out of here! I’ll hold off these bastards for as long as I can!”


“No,” said a hoarse voice. It was Inzuka. “You three go. I’m gonna die soon anyways, but you guys aren’t.” He stood up, gritting his teeth. He turned back to us. “Go!” he snarled.


“Kiba, you’re in no shape to fight!” Haruno shouted. I guess since we four, soon to be three, were the only ones remaining, military formalities were down the drain.


“Exactly. There’s no point in one of you dying when I’m gonna die soon anyways. Now, go!”


Naruto nodded. “Good luck, Kiba.” He then turned, and started running. Sakura followed quickly. Before I followed as well, I put my hand on Kiba’s shoulder, then left. The three of us didn’t look back. We hardly knew where we were going, but we knew that we had to get away.

I don’t know how long we ran. But we ran long enough to escape the carnage behind us. Damn this war, I thought. Those lives…were they all wasted? Was there any point to it? I shook my head. No. There wasn’t any point at all. It was a massacre, plain and simple.


We stopped at a mountainside. There was a cave, just large enough for all three of us to fit. We went inside. Naruto fell asleep immediately, and Sakura fell asleep soon after. I couldn’t sleep, though. I looked outside the cave, and realized that it was raining again. Or had it not even stopped in the first place? Was it still crying, still weeping for the pointless losses?


I remembered those days, so long ago. It had rained when I came back, too. It had cried that I was alone. It had been wrong that day, in a way. I wasn’t alone. I had found friends. But today, the rain was right in crying. All that was left of my friends were those sleeping in the cave beside me.


“Why?” I whispered angrily. “Why the hell did this happen?” I closed my eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come. I didn’t want it to come, in a way, because I knew the dead would come to me in my nightmares. I shook my head, looking outside again.


All that moved was the rain, cascading down the barren hills, like tears streaming from weary eyes down a dirt-covered face. How much pain would be brought until this war was ended?


I thought I saw something move behind the curtain of rain. I tensed, and saw it again. It looked like the outline of a Cloud ninja. I put my hand over Naruto’s mouth and shook him. He opened his eyes, surprised, then calmed immediately. I did the same with Sakura.


“It’s only one,” Naruto said, his voice hardly even a whisper. I nodded, and the three of us crawled from the cave. We were hidden by the rain, but so was the Cloud ninja. Then, Naruto tackled something. Sakura and I went over to him, and he was sitting on the unconscious Cloud ninja’s back. “Got the bastard,” he muttered, found a sharp rock, and killed the Cloud ninja.


We heard footsteps, and immediately realized that there were more than one Cloud ninja. “Shit,” I heard Naruto whisper. I thought quickly, trying to think of a plan. I finally thought of one, and motioned for Naruto and Sakura to follow me.


We swiftly but quietly made our way back to the cave. “Make an illusion that would keep our footsteps going into the cave,” I whispered. “We don’t want to be tracked by our footprints in the mud.”


Sakura nodded, and made a flurry of hand seals, then pressed her hands against the mud. There was a small spark of light, not unlike muzzle flash from a gun when it is fired. The footprints were now in the direction of the cave, and we would create no footprints ourselves.


I hoped that the illusion would work. If not, it would at least give us some time to escape. After the Cloud realized that they had been tricked, they would probably be after us. Right now, we looked around for a place to run to. One direction seemed rougher than the others, but more likely that we wouldn’t be tracked.


We were moving again. Not running, since we were all far too exhausted to do that. Finally, we reached another place where we could rest- a small copse of trees. We rested with our backs to the trees, letting the rain drip down on us. I heard a ‘copter and opened my eyes wearily, expecting it to be a Cloud ‘Copter. But it wasn’t. It had the design of a Konoha ‘copter.


It landed, not too far from us. I raised my hand to shield my eyes from the debris being blown around by the ‘copter. When the ‘copter’s blades finally stopped spinning, a familiar face poked its head out of the pilot’s side.


“Kakashi..?” Naruto said, surprised.


“Get in,” Kakashi said, his voice abnormally quiet. “We’ve lost this war. We’re going back to Konoha. Some others survived the bombing as well, and they’re already back home. Almost everyone thought you guys were dead already, but we decided to do one more search. But for now, just relax. We’ll be out of here in no time.”


The three of us got into the ‘copter. Out of all the ninja that had been sent in to fight this war, there were so few of us left. It was stupid; that we had to go through this- it was stupid, that all those people had to waste their lives. And for what? Nothing. We hadn’t even won the damn war.


I guess this is what being a soldier is. Being able to risk your life on the order of those higher ranking than you. Being able to live with the fact that it was either kill or be killed. Being able to put your life on the line to save others. Being able to live with the fact that your life could pointlessly end by someone else’s greed, stupidity, or mistakes.


If that was what being a soldier was, I don’t think that I’ll stay one much longer.