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The Original Naruto Fanfic Archive

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Members: 11985
Series: 261
Stories: 5884
Chapters: 25418
Word count: 47689150
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Reviews For Kokoro Uchiha

Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 04/08/12 - 11:44 pm · For: Chapter 43: I'm back and I have an announcement, so just a second before the lynching please!
...Don't worry sweetie, the same stupid crap happened to me and caused me to have to rewrite Seeing Beauty. Still not done with the rewrite and well....also got the procrastinating issue running red with myself as well. I'm getting on it now, but you're not alone. Totally get where you're coming from and take all the time you need to get things done...oh well you're already done now, lolz. this was awhile ago post...damn I need to get on more often. Well, still stand by my words and hope your new version works out for ya.

CKL

Author's Response: AHH!!! CKL!! XD Haha, so you've seen this! Ah, yep, I'm behind you on Seeiing Beauty too, so don't stress out. And thanks immensely for the words of encouragement, they're never late! I'm still writing and procrastinating. XP I hope it does too, thanks immensely Crazykittylover. It means alot coming from my oldest reader. ^_^


Name: Miko_Yami (Signed) · Date: 11/07/12 - 05:17 pm · For: Chapter 1: The Calm before the Storm
It was interesting felt a bit rushed...-raises eyebrow- here is my opinion.
I liked it it was good I don't normally read stories where the the main character (or in many cases the OC) is named Uchiha. To me that is always sounds a warning sign of Mary-sue and a big no-no -holds hand up- but...I think you did a good job with Kokoro and I wish to learn more.
More on a serious case like I explained it felt rush reading this chapter I could sense you are talented as getting the characters down and in character and of course everybody acting their age. Kokoro acting six and not knowing much...don't forget though she is a Uchiha and Fugaku's child. I would expect from a man like him to teach his children a lot since birth..but Kokoro is fine.
I will repeat I do wish there was more build up. Build up that would got us closer to Kokoro and understanding a bit more why Itachi killing the clan effected her. More family moments with the Uchiha's and such.
The story was interesting and flowed well. I do want to read more now that finished this chapter...

Author's Response: AHHHHHHH Miko-chan THIS IS THE OLD VERSION OF MY STORY!!! ITS THREE YEARS OLD!!! *cries* NO One is supposed to read it, since it's rewritten version is already up. TTT___TTT Aw, didn't you see the signs? Ah well, thanks for reviewing though. But what you read and said is different, actually, from what I've heard before. I didn't consider that, actually, building things up a bit. Thinking about it, that would actually give the readers more time to bond with Kokoro... Hmm. Well, it would be awesome if you could read "Cygnus Olor" and tell me what you think on the buildup? Oh, and Cygnus Olor is my only active story right now. XD Thanks for reviewing! I really liked your insight.


Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 23/06/12 - 09:40 am · For: Chapter 43: I'm back and I have an announcement, so just a second before the lynching please!
woot

Author's Response: Bwahaha, thank you Zhake san. ^_^


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 23/06/12 - 07:28 am · For: Chapter 43: I'm back and I have an announcement, so just a second before the lynching please!
Well, if the old readers want to be buttholes about it and get mad, then just ignore them. They'll fund it was a rewrite worth waiting for.

You know I'm eagerly waiting for the rewrite. Now I'm super excited for Monday. Kokoro, I miss you and can't wait to see you again! Deno says high! Sasaui wants to know who in the world you are! Haha. Anyway, I will wait patiently like a good reader and fan for what I know will be worth it.

Author's Response: Thank you Brekky chan. XD You're always so nice! Me too! I can't wait until tomorrow, but, T_T I've got soo much stuff to do today, I'm definitely DEAD. Kokoro: Hi Deno! Ehhh? But I thought you knew Sasaui-chan; i'm you're little sister! Thank you Brekky-chan, you have no idea how much that means to me.


Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 04/03/12 - 08:16 am · For: Chapter 5: Ryu's Discovery
Oh no amnesia? I feel so bad for her, she doesnt even remember Sasuke. What a twist though!

Author's Response: Oh! Why didn't I respond to this? Thank you! I just wanted everyone to make it this far, it was my biiig twist. ^^ I don't even know WHY it was there, but it was the whole point of the story. So odd... ^_^


Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 04/03/12 - 08:09 am · For: Chapter 4: Kokoro's Death
Jeez I was not expecting Orochimaru all of a sudden...Poor Sasuke though...

Author's Response: I'm glad you were surprised! And, as for Sasuke, yeah.. That was a shock.


Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 04/03/12 - 08:00 am · For: Chapter 3: Memories and the New Life
Haha I cant see Sasuke as the cooking type. Yay too the academy! Cant wait to see what goes on here

Author's Response: Yeah, I need to make it a little more believable the second time around. :P But, obviously, Sasuke would've had to learn how to cook. Unless he had a maid or ate out all the time (like Naruto). Ah! Thanks for giving me an idea! I should write a little bit more about their early days in the academy, Awesome!


Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 04/03/12 - 07:49 am · For: Chapter 1: The Calm before the Storm
Whoa...fast into the Uchiha slaughter huh? I liked it though. I cant wait to see how you develop Kokoro (considering the fact that I have 41 chapters to read...jeesus) :D

Author's Response: Haha, thanks. Yeah, that's what everyone said, LOL. I remember back then I was like, ah, here's where the story starts, and I wrote it. Ah, but Zhake san, thanks for checking out my story, but I'm rewriting it! So, in a couple of weeks, I'll be putting up a completely rewritten Kokoro Uchiha, but if you'd still like to continue, be my guest. ^^


Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 03/08/11 - 03:33 pm · For: Chapter 1: The Calm before the Storm
Well it is good to be back. I've missed all my favorite authors on this site and would love to help you with the nips I mentioned. I'll send you an email with those examples and fixes you wanted and check your past chapters for ya. I need the refresher on my one of my favs any way. So await for my email on my comments and examples and keep going forward with this amazing story.

Author's Response: That's really nice, to be thought of as one of your favorite authors! (I'm assuming....) Are at least this as your favorite story! Thanks, CKL, i've missed you too - I hope you update the Death Note story! LOL, yeah, that's still sorta on my mind 'cuz i've just started the anime and your stories are SOOOOO GOOOD. Thanks immensely; wow it seems so long ago, but do you know? You're the first person who ever reviewed my story!


Name: Fire_and_Ice (Signed) · Date: 01/08/11 - 07:48 pm · For: Chapter 42: Bonus chapter: The Sibling Debate
Ahahaha! Wow, that was pretty good! I'll miss you for the next month! :[

Author's Response: :( yeah, sorry i was gone for so long. To tell the truth I missed you guys - but, of course, then vacation fun took over! ^^ sorry, lol, thanks for reviewin!


Name: MidnightStar (Signed) · Date: 01/08/11 - 07:17 pm · For: Chapter 42: Bonus chapter: The Sibling Debate
Yeah, this chapter was pretty funny, but you need to do a real update! I'm not a very patient person, and I NEED ANOTHER UPDATE SOON!!!!!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm workng on it, I'm working on it! Thanks, I have this wierd sense of humor that my brother calls NOT a sense of humor. It's easier to crack jokes in writing, although sometimes i feel I'm trying too hard...rnGimme a week sir, and I'll have the money (chapter) by theN!


Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 01/08/11 - 05:37 pm · For: Chapter 42: Bonus chapter: The Sibling Debate
Inconvenience? Yes, yes there was. Know why?

Because it made me laugh and then left me hanging! I know this was just something to fill in, but I couldn't help but really want more comedy. Loved it :D

Author's Response: All I can do, really, is laugh like an idiot 'cause I really love that you like my story! I'm working on the next chapter right now and I hop to have it up in a few days!rnOh, but.. uhm... it's probably gonna be another filler.... With comedy, though!


Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 28/07/11 - 07:17 pm · For: Chapter 41: Return and Reunion
Awesome, much better than before and am ver delighted to say i dont have much to critix. I found the chapter after my last review was nibish in the beginning but afterwards these last three chapters were ver nice to read. I am aware they were full of violence and saddness but i did like the improvemenr. No mary sue problem, pov seemed fine and gammer/spelling is excellent as usual. I do comment however on the /blah/ things...did you want to use bold or italics in the story but xuldnt get them to appear on the site? If so for italics simply put < i> at the beginning of what you want to italic then at the end to stop the italics same method for bold but use instead if i rem correctly, that might for underlining i dnt rem properly so check incase im wrong and message me on it. Moving on, i like the chanfes and where youre going with so keep up the good work. CKL

Author's Response: Yes, that's it exactly. I'll try this out - did this become italicized? thansk for the pointer. I'm glad I've improved since Why Do I (k/h/i) Feel This Way. I look forward to your reviews, thanks immensely for the tips! ^^ Gotta go, I'm sorta in the hurry. Rose, OUT!


Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 28/07/11 - 06:42 pm · For: Chapter 36: Why do I (Hawk/Kokoro/Itachi) Feel This Way?
I first needed to go smack myself on the head with a wall after reading from where i had last reviewed; you hadn't really applied my advice pn the POV. The first thing at least in this chapter was fix the POV use. I liked that you used third person in the way that it was from the perception of an all knowing unknown person. That was good. What i have to be critical on is that you seemed rushed in the changes of where the omnsicient view was and the characters thoughtsts or feelings that were described feel out of place. Itachi in this chapter for example, needs more than a brief overview on his feelings about the situation if you want to memtion him. You also need to fix the way you change perspectives, you know go from one character to another. The sudden listing characters name to say whoses thoughts you were on is bothersome and need to be changed so it is transending. It needs to flow smooth and long like silk not be choppy like an ocean surf. The sudden details on characters like a full body description with very specific coloring is bothersome and surreal. It takes you out of the story and disturbs the train of thought a reader would have upon reading a story. It doesnt make it seem real to me along with the fighting scenes. They dont seem realistic and are somewhat difficult to percieve in mental ideal. Also your OC seems to becoming a little marysue in the fighting. The fights are do able but could use some work. I like the story daring, i really do but this errors are errors you got to nib in the butt to make a good story a great one. I will continue to read to see what you do and wait see how this plot unfolds. CKL

Author's Response: Yeep, sorry. I changed it and I thought I'd fixed it. Could you give me an example of how to change POV's without it being choppy? After reading your review I looked over my latest chapter of Light the Darkness - I found that it seemed ok, although I'm not sure exactly. Could you check it out and tell me whether I did it right? About the details - yes, that isn't my strong point, I realize that now. Thanks for pointing that out, i've been working on that. The problem is, I write a chapter without showing any sensory details about the character- that's bad in't it? So I tried putting more details in but that seemed too much, like you said. My latest chapter shows my latest efforts where I describe Ichigo slowly, with her firey hair and Tasaki with his broadness - just tor emind people. I dunno whether that's alright too. Thanks CKL, I've missed you! This reiew's been really helpful, thanks a bunch. I really need this advice to get better and write better!


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 18/07/11 - 08:26 am · For: Chapter 41: Return and Reunion
Yeah! You have your computer back. It had to suck to live without it, knowing of your promise. But it's fine. It's not like purposefully dropped your computer. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Okay, to the review of your story: Why is it I have a bad feeling about what's coming up next? Then again, it might just be because I'm expecting something bad to Kokoro (since something bad always happens to her). This chapter was amazing. I loved the scene with Kokoro. It made my heart ache with sadness that she had to feel that. I never realized until now how much I'd bonded with your oc, Rose-chan. I'm glad she at least found that other part of her at the end. Then with the reunion. I had to force myself not to cry. It was so heart warming. I'm glad that Shura is still sticking by Kokoro after what happened. I was afraid he'd be afraid of her. And since I forgot to tell you this is my last review, I loved how Shura tried to help her by reminding her of her family (Ryu). Both the chapters I've read today has brightened my day. This is wonderful and I can't wait to read more. Your stories are just so great. They'll grab a person and refuse to let go until.... Never mind. They just never let you go.

Author's Response: Hah, thanks. It's just, WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!?!? *sighs* well, at least I keep learning my lesson.... Well, all I can say is, you'll see what's going to happen to Kokoro. ^^: (sweatdrop) A-ha, yes, poor Kokoro got the poor end of the deal being brought into the world as my first OC - when I was all darkwriter like, LOL. That's amazing and so important for a writer! The reader has to bond with the character, to ache when the character aches and anger when the character angers; and, as you told me, I ACHIEVED THAT!!!! WAAH!!! It's another step forward, COOL!!! Thanks so much, I'm sorta odd when I'm excited and writing at the same time. Well, about Shura, you'll see. And Shura's the type of guy who doesn't forget people all that easily - especially (dare I say it) people he's jealous of! Thanks immensely; I pride myself on my cool chapter endings but your review endings are amazing! ^^ seriously, thanks.... I'll try to update soon!


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 18/07/11 - 06:47 am · For: Chapter 40: The Dandelion Song
First of all, sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry, and last of all, sorry. I can't believe I missed this when you originally posted it. I am so very glad that I finally saw it. It's an awesome chapter. It's nice to see you're working on this again. I loved this chapter. I was expecting Shura to stop Kokoro. That to me was a great moment that had me on the edge of my seat. When she attacked him, it was one of those "Holy Turd Bomber Butt" moments. =D I still have my colorfully weird vocabulary. Please do not question it because I have no answer. I'm really glad that Kokoro isn't being killed or hunted down or anything. I really want to know what the uncle was talking about. I can only guess that something (or someone) was forcing him to kill someone or something similar. I can't wait to find out. I'm glad that Shura and Yumi are back with their father. That was a nice touch to the end as well. There's so many nice things I could say to this that I think I would fry my brain just trying to figure out how to put them all on here without overloading the computer...... Well, I guess the point it that I LOVED LOVED LOVED x23 it. Great job, Rose-chan.

Author's Response: Haha, hello Sasui! Naw, you're amazing reviews made up for it! Yep, I sort of get stuck on one story and then I keep on working and working at it until I get bored and move to another story. LOL, I'm glad it was surprising enough to make you use your wierd, colorful vocab! Yeah, it would be interesting if Kokoro was on the run, right? Buuuut, that's probably not gonna happen. THANKS! Thanks for reviewing and I'm super duper glad that you loved it! It's so much fun to read reviews 'cuz then they just make you happy 'cuz other people liked your story! ^^


Name: Fire_and_Ice (Signed) · Date: 17/07/11 - 09:00 pm · For: Chapter 41: Return and Reunion
The chapter and apology made up for everything! Thanks for the great update, this chapter was great! I reall wanna see more of Itachi, and maybe Kokoro losing some of her wild-ness... Please update again soon, when you have the chance!

Author's Response: That's good! I'm glad they both did; thanks for forgiving me! Hmm, about Itachi... Wow, man I totally forgot about him... Let's see, now, I've got some new ideas for the next chap! I will, I'm working on the next chapter right now!


Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 17/07/11 - 04:09 pm · For: Chapter 41: Return and Reunion
Aw, well I'm glad your computer is alive and well, and that goes for your writing too. It's great to see an update. And with such a goo one too!

We once again see how Kokoro is still unable to ccontrol her emotions and her power. It's both frightening to see her so unlike herself and heartbreaking to see how lonely she feels during these moments of no control.

And the family scenes, all of them, were brilliant. We go from the arguing between Shura and his father to the heartfelt reunion between mother and children. All were amazingly illustrated, great work.

It was another wonderful chapter. Great work! I love this story and the way you write it, so I hope you are able to update soon. But whatever and whenever is perfectly fine, as I know it will be great ;)

Author's Response: Haha, alive and well, I like that! ~ As always, all I can say is... thanks for the heartfelt review. After reading it I went to work with renewed vigor on the next chapter! It's really nice to know what others think of my work. ~ Man, really? Seriously, that last sentence is really made me really happy! In response, I will rush to finish my next chapter and post it up. Thanks for reviewing!


Name: StawberryVixen (Signed) · Date: 17/06/11 - 02:50 pm · For: Chapter 40: The Dandelion Song

Wow. This was a good chapter, and at least Kokoro is not going to be hunted down. Though its sad that she and Luna went Burserk, and didn't reconize Shura.

And thats a neat little lullaby.



Author's Response: Did you think so? That they would be hunted down? Cool idea, actually.. I never thought of that. Yeah, she freaked the kid out. ^^ Really? I'm so glad; I'm slightly vain about the lullaby myself, LOL. :) Thanks for reviewing StrawberryVixen and also, you're one of the people who've stuck with me so far! Of course, i'm sure you knew that. ^^


Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 16/06/11 - 06:32 am · For: Chapter 40: The Dandelion Song
As, you're welcome for your 100th review. I'm glad my review was able to make you that happy. And you have no idea how happy I was to see an update. I nearly leaped out of my seat. I'm happy to hear that you received good grades after all your hard work. That makes this chapter even better, honestly. I loved this chapter so much! Your description of Kokoro losing control was genius, it was so realistic for the situation. You did a wonderful fantastic phenomenal job with this chapter. I hope you continue to do extraordinarily well with this story. It really is great. Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Your reviews are really nice and i feel really appreciated after reading them! I'm so glad you liked this chapter so much and my story so much; ^^, that's like amazing to know, you know? Thanks so much, and thanks for reviewing!


Name: GREATEST CAT EVA (Anonymous) · Date: 09/06/11 - 05:56 pm · For: Chapter 39: "That's right. We'll see them soon."
AWESOME STORY

Author's Response: Haha, thanks. ^^


Name: BattyBigSister (Signed) · Date: 13/05/11 - 07:35 pm · For: Chapter 4: Kokoro's Death
The bad dream was a really nice touch. It added a lot of depth to see they were still effected by their parent's death - as they would have to be. You really seemed into get more involved in the story as we got into the darker scenes, but that was highly beneficial as it helped keep the reader moving with the flow of the story. I really felt for Kokoro during this and for Sasuke. The poor boy - this would have hit him twice as hard - and you did a great job showing his breakdown. Oh - and the talking tigers made me smile. How cute! =0D

Author's Response: Yes, rather, I can be a bit morbid at times, LOL. I really liked reading your reviews; they were encouraging yet constructive and pointed out my flaws while making me think I can fix them. Thanks so much for reviewing my story! Haha, yes i guess Luna's relatives were cute. It just seems and seemed so natural to me (talking tigers) that thinking back I now feel gigglish.


Name: BattyBigSister (Signed) · Date: 13/05/11 - 07:10 pm · For: Chapter 3: Memories and the New Life
I don't think Sasuke is out of character at all actually. I think he's in character for how he is before the murder of his family and for how he might have been had he had something (like the survival of his little sister) to prevent him from becoming totally obsessed with nothing but revenge on his brother. Sasuke is a deeply sensitive and introspective character. Being alone with nothing but thoughts of his murdered family for several years before he joined Team 7 would have been much of what made him so cold. Here he can't do that, so I think you're absolutely right in portraying him as a little warmer, especially around his little sister. In this chapter you do a really good job on characters and their interplay as usual. Sasuke and Kokoro come across as a really lively pair of siblings and fun to read about and you bring that out even more with a great use of humour. Love it!

Author's Response: Yeah, it made sense for him to be softer around her to me; I guess self-conciousness made me add that sign along with the idea that Sasuke is OOC with how he is in the story 'cuz he isn't so... sweet I guess?, in there. The way you explained it really reassured my feelings and now I won't be so self-concious. Thanks!


Name: BattyBigSister (Signed) · Date: 13/05/11 - 06:52 pm · For: Chapter 2: Sasuke's Worry
See. This was much better in terms of writing style. ;0) It's obvious that you took a little more care here. This was brilliant. Most of it was incredibly touching and sentimental, but plenty of it was just downright funny. It was a good balance and the ending was beautiful. You painted a really touching picture and it was lovely.

Author's Response: Wow, all i can think to say is... Thanks.

Author's Response: Wow, all i can think to say is... Thanks.


Name: BattyBigSister (Signed) · Date: 13/05/11 - 06:23 pm · For: Chapter 1: The Calm before the Storm
Wow! What an eventful ending! It actually took my breath away. This was really good. The beginning was very sweet and it was really touching to see the way the two brothers interacted with their sister. As you said to me before, your writing style is a little too casual in places and could use a little polish here and there - but you know what? This has all the makings of a great story as it is. This seems to be a good plot and you write interesting and engaging characters. Sometimes you need to take a little time to give a little more detail: that's all and there are a lot of people I say that too anyway. You clearly have the makings of good author so do your best and I'm sure we'll see terrific results!

Author's Response: Oh wow, hi BattyBigSister! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my story; i took your advice to heart and my recent updates have been written with your tips in mind. I want to become an amazing author and I need all the help i can get! Thanks!


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