Aw, what a cute ending! X3 I liked it. The "What will you do if I'm gone for a week?" thing and Neji's response was hillarious.
I think it would be interesting if Hinata ended up being a bad guy, but at the same time, I want her to end up being a good guy. Gah. So hard to decide!
And, actually, for what it's worth, I think the story flowed better without the smut scenes.
Props! Tell me when you get the third installment out!
Loves and Kisses and Sand Castles for All! -Casild
Author's Response: Yah, I think it did too. I've been doing a lot of smutty one-shot requests and it's nice to write something without the smut. I think I've settled on not a bad guy, but i"m not sure yet. The third installment is my hopefully next project, but we'll have to see. I luv yooou!! *snuggles madly*
I hope Shikamaru forgives her. Hinata-chan is one of the few kunoichi that I really really like for who she is. I'm proud of how much she's grown and matured in the anime X3 I hope she ends up with Naruto someday...
Anyhow, um, nice chapter. It very much had that "calm before the storm" feel. I hope things work out...
Loves and Kisses and Sand Castles for All! -Casild
Author's Response: n.n Yeah. I'm still torn on what to do with Hinata. God, I hate her. LOL. I'm sorry, but I do. :P What a whimp! Ah well. *huggles*
Oh, jeezus!
What're we gunna do without the Hyuuga clan? That can't be good for Konoha if they all were killed in just one fight!
Actually... I'm a little surprised that the fight broke out so easily. I would have thought more negotiation and "lets-try-not-to-wipe-out-our-strongest-clan-since-the-Uchiha-were-wiped-out", you know? I didn't notice it last chapter 'cuz I was too worried about what Neji was going to do.
Personally, I find it a little odd that ANBU got involved and that they resorted to killing so fast. But it's your story, and it does provide a bit of a sinister feel to the story.
I hope Neji's okay...
Loves and Kisses and Sand Castles for All! -Casild
Author's Response: Meh. The Hyuuga clan became a threat. The leaf village can't have one of it's clans being a threat. Besides, the Hyuuga clan was all set for take-overness and stuff. THey had this planned! LOL. That should come out more in the final story, thier plans for -DahDahDahDAH!- world domination and crap. I promise. lol. n.n
O.O Oh no, is Neji going to kill Hiashi? I know Hiashi's done some terrible stuff to him, but...! I never figured Neji for the coldblooded killer. But then, maybe he could be. I dunno.
It's kind of silly, but there was one line in there that I really liked. "The ANBU dropped like silent leaves into the clearing". I thought it was a cool simile, especially since it kind of connected them to Konoha with the leaf thing. Gave it a "full-circle" type feel. Very well done. ^_^
But, as always, good comes with bad... I think I forgot to mention it last chapter but... Shino... OoC... [twitch].
Other than that... not much to complain about.
Loves and Kisses and Sand Castles for All! -Casild
Author's Response: n.n I liked the line too. Oh, yeah. Shino's majorly OC. But then again, he doesn't have a major personality! LMAO. He's so...cool and reserved all the time. No one can be that cool, all the time. LOL!
Oooh, so that's what Hiashi did! I get it. I also liked the seal-removal scene because it kinda gives some insight into what it might have been like for Neji X3 yay-ness.
Oops. Parents just came home. I'll have to keep reading some other time. Great job, and I hope you've enjoyed the reviews (as critical as some of them were -.-')
Loves and Kisses and Sand Castles for All! -Casild
Author's Response: LMAO. n.n Thank you very much! I liked your reviews! *grins and huggles*rn
Oh my god, you aren't planning on killing the kids, are you!? Oh dear, oh dear... >.< I hope not.
I'm glad Shino and Kiba came to Hinata's rescue, though. That was a heart-warming scene.
Props.
Loves and Kisses and Sand Castles for All! -Casild
Author's Response: Lol thanks. I thought they'd stick up for her, no matter what. Specially Shino. Poor, poor Shino. LMAO. Ah well. Read on, McDuff! *hugs*
O.O Oh geebus... poor, poor Hinata-chan! >.< Augh, I hope she doesn't get tortured!
I wonder, though... is the thing Hiashi did with her forehead the branch seal, or was it just some jutsu to keep her from telling others their plans? At first I thought it was the seal, but now I'm not so sure. Ah, well, I'm sure it'll be explained.
It surprises me how sparse you tend to go on the details. It makes the chapters short, but easy to read, so I actually find that I kind of like it. Which surprises me.
Props for an interesting way of telling a story.
Loves and Kisses and Sand Castles for All! -Casild
(you have no idea how hard it is to type that signature while on a laptop... it's killing me)
Author's Response: Lol. It's the seal, but different. A deeper form of control. Hiashi's an ass, isn't he? LOL. I tend to shy away from getting too wrapped up in details, cause it tends to bog down the story (imo). I'm glad it's working ok. I'm never too busy to answer questions! n.n *mad huggles* I like your sig, lol!
Aaaaaaaaaaah! Poor Hinata-chan! And Shikamaru and Shikaku and Yoshino and... hee hee, I really love Inoichi. he was funny.
I noticed some great use of vocabulary in here. Props for that!
I sure hope Hinata chickens out and doesn't hurt the kids.
Loves and Kisses and Sand Castles for All! -Casild
Author's Response: Mwha. Thanks. I try to write intellegently. Good thing I have a spell checker, LMAO. n.n I love Inoichi too. I haven't done anything with them, but I'm considering a yaoi-filled backstory of the original Shika-Ino-Cho. *cough* Just for the smex, of course. LMAO. *huggles*
Oh my god!! Nooooooo! Not the kids >.< I like them, despite the fact that they came out of Temari! Grrr.... stupid Hiashi!!!!
Ahem, anyways... um... now I'm even more nervous about the Hyuuga since I know what they're planning, and it's awful!
Great job building the suspense... props!
Loves and Kisses and Sand Castles for All! -Casild
Author's Response: Heh! I like 'em too. I know, the plot thickens. (pea soup, anyone?)
Haha... I like drugged Kiba...
Oooh! Are you going to pair Shino with Kiba? Because that would be absolutely amazing!! [dances around and sings]. Ahem... erm... yeah. Heheh.
Cute scene. But poor Shino for having to chaperone Kiba!
I'm starting to get antsy, worrying about what Hiashi's gunna do... 'cuz I know he will 'cuz Hiashi's not the type to just let something like this go.
Props! And I'm on to the next chapter...
Loves and Kisses and Sand Castles for All! -Casild
Author's Response: Mwhahaha. And stuff. LOL. I thought about it, but it's a better plot device not to pair them up. Maybe. You never know how things are going to turn out. I still haven't written the third one and it's HER fault, so I just might do it anyway. LMAO. *huggles*
Aw, I'm glad their relationship is working out so well X3
For a second, when Neji said "we're short" I thought he meant him and Shikamaru and I was like, "Say whaaat?!" Had me head-over-heels confused for a sec. Heh.
Just me and my stupidity here... guess I'll be off to the next chapter before I say anything else stupid...
Loves and Kisses and Sand Castles for All! -Casild
Author's Response: LMAO nice....*huggles*
Too cute so far, but not that sickly fluff that I so detest. ^.^
Author's Response: n.n uh. Thanks? lol. I didn't think it was cute, but I guess everyone sees things differently...it's definately not dark, nor particularily angsty...
Hmmmmmm. I liked it. The first part was still better, but I liked it nonetheless.Neji seemed a bit too out of character in this part, I think. I mean, I understand that the stress would get to anyone but....he's like, the KING of stotic expressions, save for Sai. So I have a hard time imagining him sobbing....
Besides that though, it was good. You should sooooooo make Hinata into a bad character. Because while I love the girl, I can so picture her in my head holding a kunai and glaring at someone saying, "This is where you die."
Hmmmmm I may have to draw that later, haha.AND I WANT A LEMON ONE-SHOT!!! If you write one, I'll write one. And I must say, I write a damned good lemon. Comes from having been in a boy on boy sex RPG for like, a year. Hehehe.
Anyways, I heart you. You come up with the most interesting ideas. And pairings. Honestly, Shino and Hinata? Never thought of it. I've always been more focused on Hinata and Naruto or Kiba, but Shino? I have to ponder this a bit.
Haha, this is getting too long yet again. I'm off to work on that lemon so that you'll HAVE to write one, too. Bwahahahaha!
Author's Response: LMAO I'm writing, I'm writing. n.n rnrnI know that Neji is coming across as OC, but think about it. He's always been trying to be what his family wants him to be, playing a part. And now he's free of that and trying to find his own destiny. Plus he's stressed, in danger of loosing the person he loves, and the cause of pain to two innocent kids. And he's dealing with the feelings about they Hyuuga family and Hinata and Hiashi in partcular...anyone can crack under enough pressure, and that was Neji's breaking point. rnrnI want you to write a lemon!!! please!!! I'm ok, if I do say so myself (and I do!) But as I've pointed out, I'm a STRAIGHT CHICK and it's a learning experience for me to have become familiar enough with man sex to write about it. An interesting experience, if I may point out. Innnnteresting....rnrnI STILL haven't decided if Hinata's a good guy or a bad guy. Poor Shino! Hmm. Dang. I'm working on the sequel but I've hit a sort of writer's block that's making me really frustrated right now. So I'm puttering and seeing what comes out. rnrnOk, have to ask. Boy on Boy sex RPG???? The hell? rnrnn.nrnrnLove ya!
Nooo! Not the kids! Curse you, Hiashi-teme! Curse you!*shifty eyes* Um, yeah. ANYWAYS!
So far I like the first part [Changing Destiny] a bit better, but only by a wee bit.I tend to love the whole 'getting together' part of the story, so that may be why.
Annnnd I'm only at chapter 3 right now. I must say though, you make the Hyuugas one rotten bunch of people. X_X
Anyways, I'm going to sleep right now seeing as it's 7:55 in the morning and I have to be up at noon. Whoops.
I will, however, be reading this as soon as I get back to my house. And I will be thinking about it all day and cursing that damned Hiashi-teme!Ah, forgive the harsh language. I hate it when people mess with kids. It's not right.
But anyways, except another review from me on this story later......Damn, this is long. Gomenasai. ^_^'
Author's Response: n.n Yeash, the Hyuugas are a bunch of *cough, cough* I hate them all. Except Neji, of course. heheh heheh. I know, the getting together part is more fun to write than the rest. But there's more fun in store, and another sequel in my head. n.n I seem to have a rather large writer's block going on. The KakaIru story is pushing, and I guess it wants to come out first. Meh. Maybe cause that's a getting together story? LMAO. n.n
*sniffle*
Author's Response: aww love no crying. n.n *snuggles and gives ya a tissue* n.n
NO! HE GOT AWAY! DAMN IT! ROWS, NOW IM MAD!!!
Author's Response: aww, come on! Now we can have sequelly goodness~ n.n
Go Neji! Get that bastard!
Author's Response: n.n Neji is soo hot!
TEMPORARY ANBU! WOOT! They're gonna kill summun...
Author's Response: uh huh. n.n And we get to imagine Shika and Neji in ANBU outfits. lol!
Oh.. you made Neji cry... Now I'm gonna cry.. *sniffle*
Author's Response: *searches for the tissues* I know, I sorry...
Go bigg Ibiki! Scare that Girl
Author's Response: I heart Ibiki. Dunno why, but the scarey jerk is a new favorite of mine. n.n
Inoichi and Shikaku doing baby talk... *shiver*
Ooh, Kashi's mad.. I almost feel sorry for the Hyuugas... only cuz I AM one.. ^^
Author's Response: Heh, but you're one of the GOOD ones. n.n And I can just imagine Inoichi all bent over tickling INo's belly and doing baby talk while the look on Ibiki's face just gets more and more disgusted...LMAO. Oi, the mental images!
Ooh... KakaIruShika... that's hot. Thank you for my new fantasy, love. ;)
Another good story, by the way.
Author's Response: Thank you! n.n ANd yeah, that would be....*bleeding* crap. sigh....
OMFG... KIBA!!! I heart his silly butt soo much...
Author's Response: LOL me too. n.n ANd the mental images again. Hmmm....Shikaku being snuggled by Kiba...*SIGH*
Awww... they;re so cute together.. makes me want to make Shika-shakes and Neji-burgers....
Author's Response: burger? Naw. I like cookies better. n.n
Yeah, Neji! Bite Shika!
You can't rape the willing... so true..
OMG.. I forgot to review the other chapterz... *goes and does it*
Author's Response: LOL. n.n