That was so funny... you have to add more chapters for the other characters! I'd love to see one for Gaara... a bit of Sandcest bashing wouldn't hurt. Keep up the hilarity!

Wow. You really did capture Neji's essence here! Or am I talking to Neji in this reveiw? If I am...

Gashi, Hyuuga Neji!
My name is... not for you to know. You probably don't care anyway! Anywho, if you need something to call me by, call me Frosty. Three minutes to do your hair? Really? Mine's half your length, and it takes five for me. But then again, I can get nearly anything tangled. How the hell do you keep it from getting aweful on missions? This would be useful for capture the flag, as, for me, 'sneak across the border' means 'get into the air and throw yourself from branch to branch till you reach the flage because the rest of your class is afraid of hights.' Your hair gets VERY tangled when you do this. And falling hurts. Bad. And usually cuases people to break things. But that's besides the point...
On to the next issue! Shipping! Yes, poor Tenten was given no personality. Poor dear. I should write her one someday... You and Lee makes me feel queasy, but there's another pairing with you in it that ACCTUALLY manages to make me sick. It's Neji-Kisame. I've seen it before - by accident - and let me tell you, I didn't think I'd EVER get the taste of vomit from my mouth... Is there anyone you DO like/wouldn't mind being paired with?
Lastly... Yes. It WOULD be hard to stuff a metal pole up your arse. It'd be funy to see someone try to walk after having it done to them, though... People wouldn't be so 'Neji is destiny/fate man' if you didn't say it quite so much.
I don't want to wear your shoes. I'm sure they'd be to big, for I have freakishly small feet. Plus, I bet they don't smell the best... and my freind would steal them (she's one of your fangirls), and you probably need your shoes...
Ja ne!
Frosty

(Good job! Loved it!)

LOL, SOO funny, i love it!!!

He he he...

Just like Kiba. Lol.

This is still pretty funny. Can't wait to see more.
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-- Archaic Aphorism :

Yay! "Just like Kiba" Bandages says! [does a dance] Hearing I've done good with keeping the characters In Character always makes me warm and gushy on the inside X3 Thankyou!

Ahem, anyways... uh... yup. I'm glad you still think it's funny. My fears about the tactfulness of this chapter have been disbanded now that four people have told me it was funny, not offending, so, yeah.

Thanks for reviewing!
-Archaic

Okay, so I am in agreement with three of those fangirlish ideas. I always thought of Kiba as tanned- not in a big way, just slightly sun-kissed. But, he's usually put next to *Shino*, and compared to him, Kiba looks like he's spent weeks laying on a beach in Barbados. Another one is the whorish kinky Kiba. He's loud, and overconfident [and *sexy*], so it's fun to make him like that. And 15 isn't too bad an age, is it?
As for the Shino/Kiba pairing, that's one of my total favourites.
I really like this fic, makes me giggle a lot.
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-- Archaic Aphorism :

Hee hee, yeah, don't take too many of those ideas as completely mine. Personally, I like a tan Kiba better than a pale one, but... if you pay attention to th anime, he really isn't that tan. Kishimoto fails in the area of giving his characters different skin tones. They just range from white-ish pale to yellowish-pale. It's a bit sad, really.

As for Kiba being a whore and kinky and exhibitionist... maybe not whore, 'cuz I prefer him with just Shino, but exhibitionist? Heavens, yes! And no, I don't think fifteen is a bad age. I mean, hello, that's the legal age where I live (though you're still technically "Jail" bait to anyone over eighteen until you yourself are eighteen... which I consider extremely lame. I think if you're fifteen, anyone up to twenty-five is fair game, but older than that... and, well, even I think that's pushin' it).

Shino x Kiba is my favorite! Well, actually, I think it's more of a tie between Shino x Kiba and Neji x Shikamaru... ah, well... [shrugs]

I'm glad you liked!
-Archaic

LOL So formal and crude! Just like Neji's style. I have to admit, he's my favorite character! And the part about the pole!

So you want rumors? Well, Kakashi's mask is a gigantic rumor. What's under it? Maybe you could do that. And I agree, NejiLee is... well... disturbing. *shudders*

Anyways, I'd love to read more chapters of this! ^_^ Try some of my fics if you'd like.
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-- Archaic Aphorism : Hee hee, yeah. I actually haven't heard much about Neji and the Pole thing, but... well... I just thought it was funny, and one of my close friends vehemently wishes for his death, so I thought I would just try to bring her into the light. As for Kakashi's mask... I'll keep that in mind, though I'll have to look around for what the common suspicions are. I'll be sure to take a look at your fics some time in the near future (that being within a week or so) Thankyou for reviewing!

Lol. Very funny. Hiashi spending hours on his hair... rofl. Nice work. Personally, I'd say Ino is obsessed with her hair, but who knows. Her hair is longer than Hinata's.

I have to agree on the parts about Tenten and how people often portray Neji as a stuck-up SOB. Kishimoto barely developed Tenten's character, which is a blessing/curse to fanfic writers, as they get to develop her character if they wish. (I've been trying to do it myself, actually. Check out Air Mail to Neji if you want to see how good/bad of a job I did, and any feedback will be appreciated on the matter). Neji is emotionally detached, but he is definitely not a stuck-up bastard.

I got a few ideas for you, if you'd like to hear me out. You can write something on that old myth that was going around about how the Akatsuki leader was the Fourth Hokage (the leader's name is Pein, or something like that, and he's from Hidden Rain), something about who Tobi actually is, or you can write about the pairing of DeidaraxSasori. I know, kinda stupid, but just think about it.
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-- Archaic Aphorism :

Eep! Ino didn't even cross my mind when I was writing it... I will excuse myself with this: Neji made it pretty clear during the chuunin exams that he's not interested in Ino (didn't she try to "seduce" him to get his scroll? I can't remember, that clip I watched mighta been a parody...) so he obviously doesn't keep tabs on her and how long she spends on her hair. Ask Chouji or Shikamaru if you want to know the answer to that, heh.

I'm glad you agree about the Tenten stuff and the, uh, as you phrased it, stuck-up SOB stuff. I'll check out your story. Admittedly, I saw it on the "recently added" list, 'cuz it was kinda close to where mine was... but I don't normally read (let alone write!) this kind of stuff. But I figure now is a good time to start!

As for the stuff on Akatsuki... I'll use it (probably) but it'll be a while. Akatsuki will probably get done more towards the end of the character list, because I don't know much about the akatsuki members themselves, past Itachi's history and that he works with Kisame. Oh wait, and I know a bit about Deidara and Sasori. Not much, though. Only as much as the anime has thus far revealed. I'm going to wait for the anime to progress further before I get myself into the Akatsuki rumors (Jesus, I write the word "Akatsuki" so little that it always trips me up and I have to actually think about which key goes when... sad, isn't it?)

Anyways... this is way to long. I'll just go take a look at your stuff now! Heh.

Oh, and as always, thanks for reviewing!
-Archaic

*giggles madly* I would like to say her and now that I am neither a huge Neji fangirl, nor a hater of Neji so I was not insulted by this in the least! Which is good...I think. I once did one of these, except it was putting down some unrealistic facts people put in their writing about Sasuke and Naruto. It was much different from this though, but with the same concept. Anyway! This is hilarious! So formal, yet with humor laced in the stitches! I really hope that didn't sound too weird. I loved the part explaining Tenten's personality! I almost feel sorry for her, except for the fact that it utterly true. As for more rumors? Hmm...lets see...

Gaara does not like cookies. I have no idea where this rumor came from, but it has been spread wide and far as a cute little joke that he loves cookies or something.

Sasuke is a total wimpy emo. I have heard this like everywhere, and it is just not true. Sure, he doesn't get to fight much in the show and when he does he really does lose most of the time, but he is not wimpy or emo. No matter what color clothes he wears.

Sakura is not stupid. Yes, a lot of people hate her, but they can't deny that she is very, very smart, as proven when taking the first test in the exams. Nonfans can't just make her stupid when she isn't.

Um...I can't think of anymore, but if I do I will tell you! Once again, I loved this, it was just too funny and I do hope you write more! With much love, A Vampires Butterfly ^.^
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-- Archaic Aphorism :

Jesus, I can always count on you. Not that you're Jesus (there would be a problem if you were) but you get my point.

Heavens, I don't even know if you even read my responses to your posts (don't answer this statement, I don't want to know, because I have certainly said some crazy and mildly disconcerting things in my responses, the thing about being madly in love with being high on that list)

Either way, thankyou so much for those rumors! I've never heard of the Gaara and cookies one. That is certainly very strange. I will have fun with it [plots evily] And the things with Sasuke and Sakura... good points. I'll use them, for sure. I actually don't hate Sakura that much... seeing as I don't like Sasuke enough to care if he gets paired up with her (though I'd rather see her with Lee. He's a good kid, albeit strange in many ways). I need some for Naruto... 'cuz... I mean... of all the characters, surely he must have a lot of fan-based rumors that he'd like to dispell.

As always, thankyou so much for reviewing! It makes me wonder if you spend all your time online, because I certainly do post at some strange times of the day or night, but you always comment almost immediately.

Again, don't answer that if you've read it, because I don't want to know if you read my responses or not.

Much love,
-Archaic