Reviews For Cast Away
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 09/07/13 - 12:24 pm · For: Chapter Two "Trainwreck"
Holy sons of Blackbeard (don't ask). That was just so..... It was short, but to tell the truth it took my breath away. Once again you had me completely and totally captivated.
My guess is she has never been loved, found a guy she thought loved her, and then he beat her. Am I even close to being right? Or am I close but there's a huge twist I don't know about? I really cannot tell. All I know is once again I could feel her pain and defeat. I wanted to find whoever did this to her and smack them in the face. Just met the character yet I'm already very protective. Hehe. Shows how quickly you made me bond with her.
When I read about the kid and there being a train, I kinda saw this coming. What I didn't see coming was it wasn't just going to stop with her being hit. No, you described what happened to her body as well as her thoughts. And somehow they just seemed so powerful despite being so simple at the same time. Maybe it was because of the actions that took place between them?
I dunno. All I know is I truly loved this chapter as well and I'm eager for more.
Author's Response: Breath taking captivation is good!
You're pretty much dead on. There's a few more details, but they're not that important. I'm surprised you're so bonded, as I've revealed virtually nothing about her yet; not even her name, I realized... Emotion is the strongest point in this story, so I'm very happy to hear it's pulling through.
I had a lot of trouble writing that part; I had it perfect in my mind, like a movie, but putting that into words was... Difficult. It took me hours to finally split it up like that, and I'm glad it worked out well.
I'll... try and write more. It's an up in the air story, but I'll try.
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 09/07/13 - 12:12 pm · For: Chapter One "The Milestone"
Wow. So glad I stopped to read this. It was just such a spectacular chapter. Although I did get a bit distracted at times because of my own thoughts, overall your writing had me completely enthralled. The imagery was amazing and I could imagine her weak, hopeless (not sure this is the right word) form so well I could feel her emotions. She's just so utterly broken down to the point she doesn't have any drive to live. What could have happened to her? Is she in the Narutoverse now? Seeing as this is marked as a crossover, it is what I would think. If course, I could always be wrong. And who is it that found her?
Overall this is a brilliant chapter that has me in love with your story and character. Amazing job ^.^
Author's Response: I... was so convinced no one was reading this anymore that I was going to give up on it again O_O Thank you! You're words mean a lot, and I'm sorry to say it takes me a long time to update. I'll try and not quite this, though. Yes, she's in the naruto-verse, I jut didn't do the greatest job making that clear. I have a habit of making it really hard to get to know first person characters.
Name: DropDeadThenDance (Signed) · Date: 02/03/13 - 06:11 pm · For: Chapter One "The Milestone"
The beginning of this story had me totally captivated and it drew me straight down to the end of the chapter; it had such amazing images and you had great detail in the fading back and forth from consciousness to being in the dark. I don't really agree with Silverwolf on the beginning being dull, I understand why she feels that way, but personally that was my favorite part.
The fading back and forth is really important when you start a story this way; it shows how determined or sullen a character is, and kind of gives you some insight to what they're going to be like later in the story. Honestly, this character seems very introverted and stuck in between herself and whatever happened to her, but I was really surprised when she managed to climb to her feet and actually start walking.
It gives her a sort of stubborn feel, almost prickly like a porcupine, maybe...? Anyway it has a really nice, harsh feel to it that I don't see a lot of on this site anymore... And I don't mean that simple, bloody goop that we see a lot of lately. I mean it's gritty, gravely, and grimy.
Oh, and I liked the use of the word pulpy. It was neat :3
Name: Geishagrl (Signed) · Date: 25/02/13 - 06:07 am · For: Chapter One "The Milestone"
She sounds utterly defeated...Something more awful than words can describe must've happened to her. I feel bad :( I really hope she's able to recover--at least to some functional degree. I'm surprised she even scrounged up enough motivation to get up and walk. Walking is a start.
Anyway, the words and imagery you used are absolutely fantastic. It really painted a picture in my mind. You say this is your first story? You're amazing. When you become famous, tell me your pen name so I can buy all your books. As for grammar and spelling, I only counted ONE mistake. Unheard of. You're awesome. Simply awesome.
I'm really looking forward to the continuation of this. Please update as soon as you can!
Author's Response: She'll perk up a bit in the following chapters ;) But I'm fond of backsliding, so be warned!
Oh, no, not my first story, just the first under this name. Sorry for the misconception. I really tried with the metaphors, I don't usually use that much imagery, so thank you! Sadly, it's hard to keep up the simile and such with dialog, so the images won't be quite as interesting in the next chapters... One? Wow O.O I'm gonna try really hard to make the rest of the story that way as well.
I'll try! I have a rough draft of chapter three, and chapter two is in my head (no, I don't usually do them out of order like that). Thank you so much for your review, Geishagrl!
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 24/02/13 - 12:50 pm · For: Chapter One "The Milestone"
I feel as though you tried a little too hard in the beginning. The first half of this was just her going in and out of consciousness and her being in pain. It got a little old after a while. But once things started rolling I really enjoyed it. It caught my attention and interested me. I am a little confused about your character - so is she a real word person, as in, is this a crossover fic? If so, I didn't pick that up until the end ^_^''' But overall I did enjoy this chapter and look forward to more. Nice job.
Author's Response: Either too hard, or not hard enough ^_^ To be honest, this story was not planned. I just up and wrote it in my spare time and got attached to it. Yes, the main character is from the real world, and I intended for her to be confusing. I suppose there's little to no detail about what she looks like. It's fine, I didn't start saying anything that implied her origins until the end.
Thank you very much, silverwolf1213, for reviewing my story. I'll take heed of your advice as I tend to the following installment :3