Space, dude. I clicked in here to see why you haven't got any reviews, and I think that's the reason. If there's a wall of text without white space, it's hard to get into the story.
Just hit "enter" after each new paragraph and after someone speaks.
Now reading:
Lovelovelove the dialogue it's awesome, and you can tell it's THEM. The characters are really In Character.
WHOA. Great plunge into the story, great mysterious undertones.
That was really good.... Sheesh, you played up the tension amazingly. I do think the description of the sunny day in Konoha was a bit overwrought, but it was awesomeness~ 9/10