Reviews For Bad Influence
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 28/02/12 - 03:26 pm · For: Back In The Mix
Wow, what an eventful chapter! Shigure and Neji really hit it off, haha. I really want to see more of Shigure hanging out with the Hyuuga family :P
Also, I wonder why Iruka seemed to be the only one so far who's a bit wary of having Shigure around. Is there a story behind that?
Haha, I think it's funny that Shigure and the ladies are drinking XD I can't wait to see how that turns out.
Nice chapter! Keep up the awesome work!
Author's Response: Yeah, lots new events to take place in the near future with some hilarity as I also build more depth on Shigure.
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 27/02/12 - 08:15 pm · For: Handling The Past
Oo I cant wait to see the fight between Guy's team and Shigure. I'm itching to read more. Good job
Author's Response: I'll have more coming soon!
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 27/02/12 - 08:14 pm · For: Weeding The Garden
aha I love Shigure's humor. Good developement for the story also
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 27/02/12 - 04:07 pm · For: Handling The Past
Nice updates. I'm so happy Shigure was reinstated, it's so great for him that he is now back in Konoha. I wonder what Shigure will do for Naruto's training. And I especially can't wait to see how Shigure fares against Team Guy, that's really exciting :) Nice job on these chapters. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: Hey thanks for reading, I'll have the next chapter up probably sometime tomorrow.
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 26/02/12 - 07:37 pm · For: Skeletons In The Closet
Oh wow, I didn't see this coming. I think Shigure has to be at least a little terrified of going back, right? Though he did take it considerably well; at least he didn't start releasing a string of curses Nd throwing a tantrum or anything. I do wonder how things will go now. This is getting exciting! I can't wait to see where this goes! Keep up the awesome work!
Author's Response: Ohh you'll see how Shigure reacts... Anyways I got more on the way.
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 26/02/12 - 06:57 pm · For: Skeletons In The Closet
Oooo I cant wait to see the villages reaction to Shigure coming back. Thatll definitely be interesting especially if he has to confront Danzo. Good job!
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 26/02/12 - 04:50 pm · For: Discover
Aww, thanks for the shoutout. Your story really does deserve all the reviews it gets.
Anyway, the story really is moving right along. You set up the scenes very nicely, and you open more opportunities for later events. I'm really enjoying this. There were a few more mistakes in this chapter than the last one, I'm sad to say - mostly switching words around again. But this is still much better than it was before.
Keep up the good work!
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 26/02/12 - 02:54 pm · For: Discover
I can tell this story is going to take an exciting turn soon. I really like it so far especially with the viewpoints switching up. It's really great to see what all the characters are thinking at that moment.
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 26/02/12 - 05:05 am · For: Change of Seasons
Wow, you're really setting everything up for Act 2 very nicely. This was a really good chapter, even if it was a filler. I saw less mistakes in this one. I can only remember one actually: the first sentence should be Naruto and I. But other than that, this chapter was really well-written. Nice job, I'm proud to see how much you have improved in this story. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: hey thanks for the help, and I'm glad to see that you want to see more.
Name: UzamakiMasumi (Signed) · Date: 26/02/12 - 03:25 am · For: Lazy Sensei
Can I call you Hazzy? It just seems more fun than Haz or Hazzard somehow. Anyhow, haha Naruto! You just got owned by your new sensei! You have to do stamina training! Stamina training sucks! And, really, I know Naruto's kinda stupid, but what was he thinking challenging Shigure like that? Makes me laugh so hard. Very fun chapter. I'll definitely be coming back to read more.
Author's Response: You can call me whatever, I'm not too picky.
Author's Response: You can call me whatever, I'm not too picky.
Name: UzamakiMasumi (Signed) · Date: 26/02/12 - 02:51 am · For: First Impressions
Not really related to your story, although I will leaving more actual reviews later, but I was just checking out your profile now, and I realized that you had favorited my story, Reality Check. That's so exciting for me! You have no idea! Yeah. X3 And, wow, that first sentence was a major run on. Oh well. To make this a little more related, I am really looking forward to seeing more of you here on TONFA.
Out, Masumi-san TAT
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 25/02/12 - 08:11 pm · For: O' Sweet Memories
You definitely are really improving. You're really going into depth into the characters' minds and thoughts. And the description is really shaping very nicely. There are still a couple mistakes with switching words around, such me and my, waved and waived, etc.
I was so surprised that Jiraiya came back so soon, it feels like he just left. I was worried the story was over already, but I'm glad to hear there is more.
I'm looking forward to see where this goes now, since it seems Shigure is no longer going to be Naruto's teacher. Can't wait! Keep up the good work!
Name: UzamakiMasumi (Signed) · Date: 25/02/12 - 06:32 pm · For: First Impressions
Shigure seems like one of those bad ass guys that never fail to entertain me. And the plot is so different. Very few would have thought to do this, I think. I'm liking it. I'm looking forward to reading more when I can find the time. (Being a senior in high school gets so bus!) Anyhow, keep up the good work. We at TONFA are always welcoming to new authors. XP
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 25/02/12 - 03:44 pm · For: A Plan With Dynamite
o_O He beat one of the Seven Swordsmen? And then ate him?! That guy really is crazy and sadistic.
On a lighter note, I did enjoy this chapter very much. As you said, it was solid, and it leads to some more interesting events, which I am looking forward to reading about.
Your writing is getting much better. Not just because of the spacing, either, though that did really help. Your skill is sharpening a bit. The only mistake I saw was when you meant to say 'definitely', you put 'defiantly'.
But anyway, nice job on this chapter. I look forward to more! Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: hey thanks,I'm just trying to build on the momentum in the story, and I took your advice to look my work over more carefully, and thanks for that.
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 25/02/12 - 12:46 pm · For: History Shared
Wow. Poor Shigure. I can see why he would act the way he does. I hope Naruto can somehow brighten Shigure's life. I thought his backstory was very interesting and creative. It makes me like your character more and want to read more about him. And you're doing for well with Naruto. Overall this story is pretty amazing, Hazard-san!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm currently revising the story so it's easier to read, so hopefully that'll help more.
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 25/02/12 - 05:48 am · For: No Trying; Just Doing
Ah, this was much better, especially since you actually spaced this one. There were still a couple mistakes in terms of punctuation and tenses, but overall, this was much easier to read than the previous chapters.
Shigure's fighting style is really interesting. All this training he's giving Naruto makes me wonder how the genin will turn out after Jiraiya comes back.
Great job on this chapter. Keep up the awesome work.
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 24/02/12 - 08:54 pm · For: Lazy Sensei
I really like the concept so far! It's a great story and I can't wait to see the training Naruto will recieve from him. great job!
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 24/02/12 - 08:02 pm · For: Regroup and Refocus
Well, this is a very interesting story. It's very original and unique in its own way. The plot is different, and Shigure is definitely one of a kind, especially after finding out he's a cannibal - I'm a little surprised and a bit wary about this, I don't know how good of a twist this really is.
In terms of the actual writing, well, you really need to edit before publishing so quickly. You tend to forget some words when writing, and you also sometimes mix up words, such as there, their, they're. And the spacing is just very cramped, you should make a new line whenever someone else is speaking.
Overall, this story has potential, you just need to work on editing and planning out the plot. This is very amusing to read though, I look forward to seeing how you continue this.
Author's Response: Thanks for the help, and yes I completely agree that I'm very lazy at editing my work and I'll be sure to work at it.
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 24/02/12 - 04:59 pm · For: Lazy Sensei
Yep, I definitely like Shigure. He's a crafty man himself. I enjoyed seeing Naruto's attack from the Chuunin exams. That was definitely interesting. I thought the entire fight was nice and well thought out. I can see why the old pervert chose him to train Naruto. He seems like a great choice for someone like the hot-headed Uzumaki. Great chapter, Hazard. I loved it.
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 24/02/12 - 04:06 pm · For: First Impressions
Wow! This is truly an original idea. I've never seen a story with this kind of plot. I really like Shigure. His personality is rough, but he seems like he'll be a really good teacher.
As for corrections, well, you capitalize some words that don't need to be capitalized and you should make a new paragraph every time there's a new person speaking. I think those are the only major things I saw.
For your first fanfic, this is a good start. Oh, and just because I'm only 15, I was needing to make sure there was no bad reason about the rating. It doesn't seem like it will, but this isn't going to have any sexually mature scenes, is it?
Author's Response: Well, the direction I take this will include criminal activity and harsh language. Nothing too explicit, for now.