Okay, please do not take offense to this. I understand you are twelve-years-old and that this is probably your first fanfiction. I only offer constructive criticism.

1) Some spacing would have been nice. It was kind of hard to read and gave me a headache because everything was jumbled together.

2) You need a little more description. Everything seemed really rushed with no attention to detail or anything.

3) More elaboration should be paid to the actual storyline. Other than the short first chapter, there was no real explanation as to what is really going on.

Now, with all of this in mind, let me get on to the positive stuff. I actually really like this idea. A Naruto/Yugioh Gx crossover. It seems like a good idea. The ideas you put in really seem like they could make a good story.

Ezra seems like a good OC that could really caught my attention, what with his past and everything. And having him be the brother to Sasuke and Hinata seems really original, and I kinda like it.

This could really be an interesting crossover story. You just really need to pay attention to detail and elaboration. There is no need to rush the plot. More description keeps the story organized as well as impresses the reader. If you need help writing, you can always ask someone you know or contact any of the authors, such as myself, to beta (edit) your story.

I'm really sorry if I offended you or anything. But I really think this story could be interesting if more there were more description and elaboration. It takes courage to post your work on a site, and I commend you for it. Keep on writing, and good luck with this!