Only real problem I saw was a few spelling/grammar mistakes here and there. If you don't notice them now, you probably will later and get really annoyed with yourself like I tend to.

It was great to get a peak into Sasuke's head. Not only did we see how he feels, but we find out how he reacted when Ayako left. I think it's also fun to see Naruto and Sakura's reactions. Gosh, Naruto needs bumped in the head *rolls eyes*. Sakura sure was annoying before she stopped totally obsessing over Sasuke.

The talk between Sasuke and Ayako was great to read. Even if you didn't get too must description in, you did a great job here with showing emotions through dialogue. More so than the previous chapter. Sasuke's anger was very realistic and understandable. It seemed like how he would react and I loved it. As for Ayako.... Gosh, if the only real problem was being weak, she lacks faith in people, which is very sad. But then she said the part of being worthy of being related to Sasuke and I just wanted to cry for the poor girl. So she travelled around learning, huh? I still wonder how she met up with Yumika. Random, but did you purposefully have all their names have a y in it? I just kinda realized that.....

So we finally get a glimpse of Nishiya, though not too much. Though you said she doesn't really come in until later. Now the twin plan on meeting again. Wonder what will happen then.

Author's Response: Darn, of course there are, but oh well. I actually edited chapters 1-5 last summer and just continued on in the winter/spring. I'm very glad the characters reactions were close to realistic. I remember I wrote them wayy off before. I'm also glad you liked their conversation. That took a bit to conjure up. Yeah, the name similarity is true. I'm bad at naming characters and when I do they have some "twinning" going on. That's mostly where my ocd comes in. It should be put in with the editing but I can't really control it. Thanks for your review! Onto the others!