Meeting #18
In the dark Akatsuki hideout, Deidara and Sasori sat by on a rock, waiting for the meeting to start.
"So, Sasori-sama un," Deidara started, "When is the meeting going to start?"
"Patience, Deidara," said Sasori, "Normally I don't like to wait but this is a very important meeting."
"How important?"
"So important that it concerns the fate for our organization."
"How important is that un?"
"Very important."
"How?" ...Suddenly, one by one, the Akatsuki members appeared.
"Finally we start un," said Deidara. Everyone took their respecective positions on the statue's fingers. Leader Pein started to speak.
"Welcome to our-" he stopped and counted his fingers- "Wait just a second." He whispered to Konan, "Can I borrow your fingers nii-chan? Thanks." He resumed counting his and Konan's fingers. He stopped and cleared his throat. "Welcome to-"
"Hey leader un!" Deidara shouted.
"What Deidara?" Pein sighed.
"How important?"
"How important what?"
"How important is this-" Sasori stuffed Deidara's mouth.
"How important is this what?"
"Nothing," Sasori said. "Just ignore the incompetent fool waving next to me."
"Fine. As I was saying, ahem, welcome to the 18th meeting of our organization Akatsuki." (Starts clapping but soon stops. Some members start chatting. Itachi: Do you think this nail polish is good for my image? Hidan: Does anyone here believe in Jashinism? Kisame: Zetsu, you and I have a lot in common.) "We have gathered here for a very important bulletin." Everyone fell silent.
"I've recently discovered that one of our own failed to complete high school. He is sitting next to Kisame." Pein pointed at someone. Everyone gasped.
"Who, me?" Tobi asked. "But Tobi's a good boy!"
"Not you Tobi, him!" He jerked his finger at Itachi. "Itachi abandoned his village in his sophomore year and now either has to take the GED or retake high school!" Itachi looked up.
"Which group will I be with?"
"The freshmen."
"I'll take the GED," he said. He disappeared.
"OK now," Pein cleared his throat, "We now move on to the next matter of business. It's Zetsu's birthday! Let's sing happy birthday to him! Happy birthday to you. Happy... birthday... to... yeah... whatever." The group stood silent.
"What happened?" Tobi said. "Keep singing for Zetsu-san! Happy birthday to you! You lived in the zoo! You look like a weedy! Aaaaaannndd you smell like one too!" (Crickets chirping)
"O-okay..." Pein stammered. "Let's move on. Kisame has recently discovered that Suigetsu Hozuki, one of his students, are after his sword! OMG!"
"So what?" Kisame replied. "It's not like that little brat could beat me."
"You never know," said Kakuzu. "Itachi was damn near defeated by that Kyuubi kid."
"STFU. I am not talking to you."
"Then who are you-" Tobi stopped. "Ohh. Kisame-san has gone loco! Ha ha! He is going crazy!" Pein sighed.
"Well, Deidara and Tobi have managed to seal another Bijuu so-"
"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi screeched.
"STFU you little shit," Deidara shouted. "I did all the work while you just stood there playing with butterflies!"
Tobi sniffed, "W-why Dei-dei? W-sniffle-why do you hate me?" Pein was getting impatient.
"Tobi stop crying and Deidara stop making him cry, I just cleaned up the cave earlier!" Pein said. Deidara made a face. "OK now... let's get down to business. We have one more Bijuu to go and that one is..."
"Naruto," Itachi interrupted. Everyone looked at him. He was covered in blood.
"Itachi... when did you get here?"
"Just now."
"How did the test go?"
"Let's just say I managed to save a lot of time with one of the test keepers."
"...OK... anyhow... We must plan on how we will catch him. Any ideas?" Tobi raised his hand.
"Oh me, me!" he shouted eagerly. "Please pick me, me!
"Anyone else OTHER than Tobi? Itachi, you have experience with Konoha Shinobi, how do you think we'll manage?" Itachi looked down.
"All I can say is that Naruto has grown and has many friends," Itachi said solemnly. "It would be near impossible to take him away."
"Hmmmm... You might be right."
"The only way we can catch him," Itachi paused, "we must get him alone." He shuffled his feet. Tobi started to whimper.
"What now Tobi?" Pein asked.
"Tobi needs to go to the bathroom please?" Tobi replied.
"Fine." Tobi disappeared. Silence filled the cave. Kisame shuffled his feet. Kakuzu took his money out and started to play with it. 1 hour later... Snore* snore* snore*
"I'm back!" Tobi shouted. His shout woke up everyone in the cave. Pein rubbed his eyes and Itachi fell off his finger. After Itachi got back on he muttered some swear words and Pein yelled, "WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG TOBI?!?! WE WAITED LIKE FOREVER!!!!"
"One hour exactly."
"I DON'T GIVE A F***. BECAUSE OF YOU THIS MEETING IS NOW OFFICIALLY OVER."
"Yay. Now I can get back to that Naruto game I've been working on the past hour," squealed Tobi.
"Ooh, which one?" Kakuzu asked. Pein looked like he was going to explode.
"FORGET THIS MEETING HAPPENED! I DON'T GIVE A CRAP!" Pein huffed and puffed and collapsed from exhaustion.
"OK, now let's quietly leave and pretend this didn't happen, OK?" Tobi asked.
"Yeah, pretty much. Sounds good to me. Let's get out of here." came the voices of the Akatsuki members.
"Get out now before nii-san wakes up," Konan said. "I'll take Pein nii-san back home."
"OK!
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Story notes: Takes place before Sasori dies but Sasori shows up in his real body.
Chapter end notes: I don't know why but no matter how much I try, but it won't let me type the last few lines. Help please?