Chapter 1
Marks of war
It was late as the hooded man lay there in the cold, damp grass, watching the leafs falling, slowly guided by a genttel breeze .He stood amongst 3 wooden pillars in the middle of the forest gleaming brilliant crimson and chrome in the light of the setting sun.
“I once told Sasuke …”how can I be hokage when I can’t even save one friend”
I wonder….Did I save you....Sasuke?
The peaceful look on his face turned in an angry grin as a an old memory crawled out of the dark corner of his mind.
*Flashback*
Blood dripped down the katana as he raised it to Narutos neck..”Fight me, why do you stand there and do nothing? He questioned pressing the katana to his neck slightly piercing the skin.
“Because I want to see…Sasuke.
“If our bond is stronger then your lust for power…I want to see …who you truly are.”Naruto replied leaning slowly on the katana.
Sasuke smiled lowering his blade to his abdomen..”You have no idea..Naruto”
You have no idea how I am…with that said Sasuke thrusted the sword in his abdomen piercing all the way through .He rested his chin on Narutos shoulder embracing him with his left hand ,and pushing the katana further and further through Naruto with his right.
To Sasukes surprise Naruto rapped his hands around him, whispering in his ear.
“I know you well enough ….friend”
A tear slipped in the corner of Sasukes eye as he felt the cold breath of his dying friend on his neck. They stood there entwined for a couple of minutes before any of them spoke.
“Vengeance, it runs deep in your blood,…you are an avenger ,cursed to have no rest, cursed to find no peace..” Naruto spoke with regret in his voice
“But after the last drop of blood is shed and the hunt is over….you will look inside yourself and realize that you have become the same as the monster you have hunted for so long.” silence overtook them ,only the blood dripping from the sword could be heard.
“I made..a promise to myself that I will save you …Sasuke”. Naruto whispered tightening his grip on the dark brunet holding him as he desperately tried to push himself away screaming in pain.
Three chakra spikes violently erupted from Narutos chest impaling Sasukes body. He yelled in agony as more chakra spikes thrusted his vital organs…till the last one pierced his heart, ending his struggle.
“And I…I never go back on my word…I..will save you…from yourself “ The blond closed his eyes still pressing his body against his.
“N..Naruto…”he whispered with his last breath resting his head on his friend’s shoulder again, smiling peacefully.
“May you find the peace you never found amongst us…. Friend
*Flashback end*
He snapped out of his day dreaming and decided it was time to go in the village now. So he got up and with his hands in his pockets started to walk.
As he strided slowly through the woods a hand crept up from behind grabbing his shoulder.
"Naruto?....I thought I’d find you here" a gentle feminine and very familiar voice whispered to him.
"Sakura...?" he paused and gasped at her sight, his bright blue eyes sparked with excitement.
With a quick movement Naruto buried her in his arms resting his chin on her shoulder, a tear spilled from his eye as he squeezed her subtle form, leaving her begging for air. For Naruto she was his last hope of regaining his former self….if Sakura could forgive him. She could not hold her tears back so she did not bother to suppress them. They enjoyed the moment without uttering a word. Finally they pushed themselves back so they can face each other, neither one of them hiding the tears that overflow their eyes spilling on their cheeks. She smiled at him looking in those deep pools of blue, gently grazing his cheek with her left arm. He snuggled in her palm feeling the warmth of her flesh, smelling the scent of her perfume, enjoying every second of it. As he looked in to her green eyes, her smiling face turned to rage, her left palm that was gently teasing his cheek clenched holding his chin up as her right fist made contact with his face knocking him through the air a good 20 yards and landing on his back.
"WHY.....?Why the hell did you leave us like that? Her eyes bursting with tears as she shouted her question demanding answers. She dropped to her knees, her body trembling, taking deep breaths to calm down as the tears continued to pore.
"Why did you leave me all alone?....Why did you abandoned me?"She asked again, this time with a sad tone in her voice. He still laid on his back where the punch threw him and looked at the sky "When I left that night, when I left everything I loved behind, a part of me slowly began to die Sakura, there wasn’t a day that I didn't question my judgment, there wasn't a day that I did not regret my actions....... but... did I really have a choice Sakura?”
“You always have a choice Naruto" she shouted burying her face in her hands.
He got up and walked towards her, rubbing his jaw on the spot the punch made contact.
“ Don't be silly....It’s not that simple, so many have died in this war but I’m afraid to think how many more would have died if it were not for the sinoby that decided to set out that night with the promise of peace on their lips."
“Did I sacrificed 9 years of my life and my sanity for nothing?...hell no.
Do I regret leaving the village behind and my loved ones......no, because I only did it to keep them safe.
Do I hate myself for leaving you alone....I do “His voice filed with pain and anger as if an old wound was torn open. He kneeled to the silent, confused siluete and spoke:
"I’ve spent a lot of time trying to find what was I going to say when I see you again, I guess it was a waste of time because I..I really don't know what to say now."
"How about, let’s grab a bite to eat you dobe!" she spoke with a cheerful smile, lifting her head to look him in the eyes. Naruto smiled and looked down remembering that he had a lot of catching up to do, he just returned to the village after 9 years spent in the land of cliffs, the battle ground of the 4th great shinoby war
. Sakura grabbed his arm as they made their way back to his place , they did not spoke much , her question hitting this wall that he build around him, a protective shell that she could not get past. They sat down to eat, she stopped herself as she watched Naruto eat, it was weird he was not stuffing his face with ramen, he slowly took medium sized bites and took his time to chew. She then looked at him to see the scars on his face thinking of what he might have been thru in 9 years of war.
She decided to open up a subject in hopes that he will open up…”So Naruto I heard the cliff’s main village was rebuilt with the help of their allies and has even appointed a new Kage…that’s the best news I’ve had in years from that land.”
Naruto finally spoke ,looking in her eyes surprised at her knowledge in those parts “Yes it is true… Bartoka has been rebuild and …Ishinimo is their new Kage, their future is secured thanks to all of the shinoby that paid for it ..with blood” he suddenly looked away, afraid she would see the pain within him as he spoke, the conversation was hindering an old wound, a wound that never seemed to heal. He decided not to engage in such conversations with her again afraid of what might happen, afraid of hurting her.
She sensed that he was hiding up inside again so she tried to open up a conversation again…”Its comforting to know that their sacrifice was not in vain… to know that because of them their people can now have peace…..”
As Sakura finished her sentence the sound of the chop sticks hitting the plate stopped her from rambling on any further. She realized that Naruto snapped at her words, she knew she must have said something wrong.
Naruto was looking down hiding his face from her, clenching his fist under the table, thinking
“Peace….her words….cut…so deep…dam it.”
“Calm down Naruto this is not the time…don’t make a scene, just get yourself back together “
“Right”
They finished eating, hardly exchanging any words after their brief talk, Sakura looked at him unable to speak, knowing that any question of hers would meet the same wall as before. He sat up and walked to his favorite place in the apartment, his balcony. It was night already, the sky was clear and glittering with stars before his gaze. She followed him still trying to understand his attitude, his silence when suddenly Naruto broke the silence.
"I often find myself burying myself in questions."
"Answering a question gives birth to other questions in a never ending search for the answers" Naruto spoke still gazing at the sky, lost in the stillness of the night.
"Naruto...? What are you saying?”Sakura asked confused and amazed, watching this drastically changed man, where was that loud goofy kid that always pulled pranks, what happened to her sweet fun loving Naruto? And then it hit her, she remembered what he said in the gardens.
"When I left that night, when I left everything I loved behind, a part of me slowly began to die Sakura".
Naruto felt her confusion, turned around raping his arms around her."Do you know how harmony can be achieved?...do you Sakura?” She gasped and looked at his emotionless face with freight."Harmony can be achieve with clarity, to know and understand a person and to have that person know and understand you is called clarity, once you have clarity you will live with that person in harmony....but."He stopped, his emotionless face turning to sorrow and pity as he looked away.
"Knowing a person always starts with a question Sakura, and the funny thing about them is that they never end “he spoke with pity and regret in his eyes. "People can't truly know and understand each other, which is why this world will forever be at war, this is why the cycle of hate will forever mark our existence"
A deep silence overtook them as he shed a tear leaning towards her shoulder and whispering” There is no end..... to it Sakura, there is no end....”.The pain in Narutos words was ripping her apart.... she wanted to comfort him so badly but….she had no idea what to say, she was caught completely off guard, she wanted to yell at him to snap out of it but she just did not have the nerve.
What happened to you Naruto?.... her frightened voice stuttering. Naruto grabbed her shoulders firmly pushing her against the wall."Listen to me..."he spoke shaking her a bit so she can be lucid again “Have you any idea how it feels when you realize that all that you were fighting for, all that your comrades died for could not be achieved, have you any idea how it feels when your friends and loved ones die slowly in your arms and you can’t do anything about it?." he poured his dormant suffering almost screaming at her, his gaze piercing through her…. sensing her emotions ready to spill.
"Peace, freedom and harmony are nothing but illusion Sakura....." She slapped him, he took a step back, his face shocked as he acknowledged his action."Stop it Naruto!" she spoke through whimpered cries.
Naruto stared at the poor woman."I’m....sorry Sakura!" his voice stuttering as he took another step back. "So you’re just giving up huh? This is not you, Naruto would never give up!!.....never….
He approached her, grabbing her chin forcing her to look him in the eyes."I never give up Sakura...never...because the way I see it, you can't have peace without war, you can't have love without hatred. Men can’t achieve an ideal as perfect as peace when they are bound by their limits and imperfections. So if wars will constantly be at our door step, then I will be the trigger that will bring balance to this war torn world……..I believe that if you devote yourself entirely to an ideal you become more then just a man, you become the tool and weapon of that ideal…..you become the vessel of your purpose, breaking the shackles of your own limits .Her face cleared but she dared not utter a word still digesting his words.
"Come let’s get you to bed, you look tired" he took her gently in his strong arms placing her softly on the mattress tucking her in. She fell asleep right away getting lost in dreams. He grabbed a blanket and found a comfortable spot on the couch trying to get some sleep.
"Why the hell did you do that for?..Do you take pleasure in making her suffer, what is wrong with you?”
“I..I….don’t know….I just felt the need to come out, I forgot how painful it is to see her suffer and cry like that…especially because of me.
Are you going to tell her why you came back now? She needs to know..
.....
Tomorrow......I’ll tell her tomorrow
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Chapter end notes: stay tuned for the following chapters