"Itsumo…atashi wa anata no mono…itsumo, Sasuke…”
Forever…did that really mean what it was? I wanted to believe her, and at that time, I did. Forever she was mine, she whispered. And I believed her.
Tsunade sent out a notice to Mikoto to head over to her office as soon as possible. With a fleeting kiss from her, and a soft breathe of my name, she left. I watched her as she got ready to leave, as she headed out the door, as she walked towards the significant building. I watched her night black hair whisked behind her, the necklace I bought her gleaming proudly around her slender, white neck. I watched her as she walked away. Just simply, unhurriedly walked out of my life.
My life passed so slowly without her in my house; she brightened up my every day. My life was made worth living once I had discovered this pearl. She was special to me in a way that no one could ever replace. I didn’t know what I would do without her.
And so long I had asked myself what I would do if she wasn’t here. But I pushed away the question, laughing at myself at what a stupid question I had asked. Why would she ever be gone?
The house was quiet, but it was always quiet, even with her around. I loved that about her. But then, I loved everything about her, she didn’t need things to make her happy. I didn’t need to buy her a pile of junk to keep her here. All she wanted was the thought. I could give her a poorly made card and she couldn’t care less about the quality, all she wanted to know was that I made it without help from a store. All she wanted was the thought I put into it, the effort, the time. She didn’t have much to say, but she was easy to talk to. I loved hearing her voice, though, it was unreal how sweet her voice was, how soft it was.
She always made sure I was happy, but she didn’t know that her presence was enough. All I wanted, all I needed was her; materialistic items couldn’t make me happy, they couldn’t make anyone happy.
As seconds slowly turned into minutes and minutes to hours. The hours passed as days and the days to weeks. I believed in her. I knew she was a capable fighter. I knew she was extremely intelligent. I knew she wouldn’t die and leave me all alone. I knew she would come back. I knew she would.
I didn’t need facts anymore, I had my own world. I couldn’t stay in reality anymore, she was like a drug. She was addicting, tempting, and threw me into an imagination. I wasn’t living in the world anymore, I was trapped inside my head, but I enjoyed it. It was like I was being controlled without knowing it. But I was happy that way. I was happy. Truly happy.
I started to worry; what if she never came back? What was happening? Realizing that almost a month had passed without word from her, I went to seek out the Hokage.
Tsunade tried to pass the news to me softly; of all the people in Konoha, only she knew about my secret love for Mikoto. And she tried to not break me harshly. I told her I could take whatever she had to tell me. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry anymore.
“Sasuke…” she started, her tone gentle, “I’m sorry to inform you that Mikoto has died. She was gone missing in action. Her name has been carved into the MIA stone already…”
All I heard, all my mind allowed me to register, was that she had died. Nothing else that Tsunade had said even passed through my mind. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry anymore, but I broke that promise. My vision blurred into blotches of colors as tears rushed to meet my eyes and traced a path down my face. The salty water dripped off my chin onto the wooden floor, disappearing immediately.
Tsunade stood from her chair, moving so she was now next to me, “Don’t cry…”
“I’m not crying…” I debated angrily, wiping away the tears, “…these are tears of joy…be-because…I’m finally free…”
“Sasuke…don’t say…” she began, placing a hand tenderly on my shoulder in attempt to comfort me.
I moved away, her hand falling against air, “Don’t touch me…”
Running out into the sunlight, I started home. I glanced at the places I was passing.
We spent so much time with the airhead Naruto there, eating ramen, obviously. I saw her smiling as we sat there, the four of us.
Where I first met her. Where I first found relief and salvation in her.
The training field.
Where we all had to work together as a team. And I remembered attempting to talk to her. I remembered watching the stars with her. I remembered just lying there with her and viewing the clouds leisurely, nothing on our minds. I remembered sitting under the tree with her. I remembered our first kiss. I remembered her training with me. I remembered her bandaging my wounds. I had so many happy memories with her; but I remembered her smile most of all.
And now, I’ll never be able to see it again. That hit me the hardest. Reality came down on me, and I was knocked out of my sanctuary. I was living in hell once again.
I kicked the ground as I walked. Why was I cursed this way? How come all those that I loved around me always ended up dying? And I had promised myself I wouldn’t care about another person anymore, to not form bonds because of the pain that it would bring after. And how stupid I was. How stupid I was to have fallen for her. It’s these bonds that tie us together, the interwoven, unspoken language that we shared together, that hurt me deepest.
The last time I saw her was before she left. The last time I would feel her soft lips on mine. The last time I would ever see her, hear her, touch her. And when I look back on it, why hadn’t I asked to come along? She wouldn’t let me, but maybe I could’ve prevented all this. Maybe now I would still be locked like a caged bird in my mind, knowing only what was inside my walls, but no. I’m living in misery. My short rest in heaven was thought to be overstayed, and they decided to keep me in this dejected place.
I’m still human, why was I treated as if I had the answer to everything. As if I could solve everything in my life? As if I could handle all the obstacles alone. I’m still only twelve, I’m supposed to be barely old enough to take care of myself. And yet, I was fine. But I’m only twelve, how was I expected to handle all of the ups and downs of life on my own, without a family, without my closest friend, without someone. I’m trying to keep calm outside, to not bother the world, to act as if I can do everything on my own because I don’t want to loose anymore. But inside I’m screaming for someone to save me, to just help me.
She said forever, but did that really mean what it was?
- owari -
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Chapter notes: Property of Masashi Kishimoto. No money is being made from the writing of this story and no copyright/trademark infringement is intended.
This is a short story that is based around Sasuke and an OC. I just made up a random name. Here's the information about the OC:
All we really know about her is her first name, Mikoto. I haven't thought about really developing the character much, or if I should include her in any future stories I
might write, so she will stay undeveloped at the moment.
I know that some parts are repetitive, but it's for emphasis.
Chapter end notes: Translations:
Atashi: I [usually used by girls]
Anata: you [or honey, dear]
No: particle marking possesion
In this sentence, by combining the words above, it doesn't really make much sense, so here's the full sentence translated:
Itsumo...atashi wa anata no mono...itsumo: Forever...I am yours...forever.
When Sasuke states that he first met her, I meant it to be like she moved into the village, or ran away to Konoha, but it doesn't really matter much in the story.
Also, their team is a bit weird, its a four person squad. And usually, I don't like randomly inserting an OC into the squad, but then the story isn't big enough to have to make up a an entirely new squad just for one OC. The story also isn't focused that much on the OC or Sasuke's life themselves, but their lives together, so I just decided to put the OC in their squad and make it a four person squad.
Another thing to note is that I purposely chose the name "Mikoto" because it was Sasuke's mother's name. Though the story is probably too short to have discovered this, the name actually has a deeper meaning than just being randomly choosen, I lied above.
In his childhood, Sasuke's mother seemed like the only one to care for him [we know this is not true, but she seemed like it]. It seemed like she was the only one he could talk to and find "happiness" in. The story is fully based upon his happiness and how Mikoto's happiness made him happy.
Also, another thing that is kind of related to the story, but also kind of random, is that scientists have found that men usually date women who resemble a women in their earlier lives [meaning only their mother, or sisters, or a female family member, but only a female family member]. So Mikoto makes Sasuke happy just as his mother used to make him happy, simply put.