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Glimpses of Fire by shattered_words

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Glimpses of Fire

Author: shattered-words

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, it’d be called ‘Gaara’. So, isn’t it a shame that I don’t own it?

Summary: There were many things that shaped the plans of a certain Nukenin, and one was a shinobi that was as destructive as fire. AU/Mentions of Shounen-ai/Yaoi/Yuri (Linked to “Caught in the Rain”)

A/N: I noticed several mistakes and had to repost cause they were bugging me. Btw, Happy Turkey day, a bit late but it’s the thought that counts. Hope ya didn’t stuff yourselves like turkeys! (I don’t really like it but give me the apple pie! XD)

~*~*~*~*~*~ Chapter Three: Being a Kunoichi ~*~*~*~*~*~

The first few days at the academy hadn’t been the best week of her life, but she had not been completely isolated. She had entered a year earlier than she had intended and thus placed in Gaara’s class. Also, the two cousins on her mother’s side of the family were also in the same class. They were Itagaki Akemi and Erizawa Miwako. Akemi was her uncle Katsuhiko’s daughter and Miwako was from the Erizawa Main House. She knew they were forbidden to speak to her, but she had seen them make an attempt several times. Eizan had told them none too nicely to stay away. It was better for them this way.

The red head had asked her once why she called him ‘Gaara-dono’. She had explained that her father had always referred to the Kazekage with “-dono”, and since she was serving him in the same way, she had to show him proper respect. His face had looked troubled and she wished she knew why.

She could tell that he still didn’t trust her, but at least he spoke to her once in a while. It gave her a bit of hope that maybe one day he’d open up to her. It was a fool’s hope, but one she wasn’t willing to give up on. For the time being, she only wanted him to forget the loneliness he had felt all this time.

When he had walked away, she had smiled slightly and hurried after him. She learned to shut out the hateful stares and fearful whispering when she was with him. They could say what they wanted and look however long they wished. She had Gaara at her side and she wasn’t alone. It was enough for the moment. And she wished she could freeze that instant so it would never change.

But time did pass and before she knew it, half a year had gone by. During that time she had refused to take ikebana classes that all kunoichi had to take. It was so that they could blend in as regular women when within enemy territory. She already knew this since she had watched her mother do it many times. While she had never tried it, Eizan was certain she could if she tried. But she didn’t want to try it!

Another thing that hadn’t been pleasant was the confusion during her registration. She had written her brother’s name and the record’s people had given her a strange look. They had tried to change it to her given name but she had adamantly refused to take it.

In her anger, her hands had burst into flame at her sides. The Chunin dealing with her had been startled half to death and had backed off. They relented and agreed to her demands and she had been glad even if she had had to use their fear to achieve it. As she had walked out with the ID she had ignored the eyes upon her.

They had given Eizan her brother’s old Academy identification card for the time being until they made another for her. They looked so much alike that they could have been twins, except her hair was much longer than his had been in the picture. She almost laughed as she remembered that at one point, her mother had told her sibling that he had “a lovely face”. She’d never forget the way his features had reddened in an undignified way.

As she walked back to the empty house she had frowned at the ID. The word “Deceased” had been stamped just below his picture but the information could still be seen clearly. Her frown had deepened and twisted her pale features as she ran her fingertips over the offensive word. She felt a stab of pain and remorse as the horrific day played itself out within the confines of her mind. It was a constant torture.

Before she had entered the academy, she had already mastered certain jutsu such as henge, bunshin and a Katon jutsu as well. Her brother had taught her these after realizing that she could learn fire techniques rather quickly.

Once she had transformed into Gaara and had scared some of the students in their class. It hadn’t been intentional but it had been amusing. When she had seen the pained look in the red head’s face, she had been overwhelmed with guilt. She’d fallen to her knees with her legs tucked under like in seiza, but with her head bowed low and hands at the side of her hand against the ground. Her father had taught her that it was a way to beg forgiveness, by doing dogeza.

“Get up,” Gaara had muttered and looked away. “I don’t ever want to see you do that again. It’s for the weak.” His voice had started to become colder recently, but every now and then she saw a hint of kindness with his eyes. She had agreed to be his subordinate but she couldn’t deny that she cared for Gaara. After all, he was the only friend she ever had.

She fell back into her idealistic personality and tried to get his opaque turquoise orbs to come alive again. He became easily annoyed by her attempts and would disappear from her sight for long periods of time. While it was depressing to a point of tears for her when it happened, Eizan refused to weep or give up.

Every day her infallible enthusiasm was met with his impassive responses. And over time her eyes started to lose their shimmer of optimism. Then one day, several years later, she forgot what it was to smile and what laughter sounded like. She couldn’t remember any other reason for her existence other than being a tool. After all, this is what shinobi were in the end and disposable when they lost their luster.

As they grew older, Eizan did everything he asked of her as long as it pleased him. She began to read the few expressions he made and would know what he wanted without him having to ask. So in a sense, she began to think like him.

Ever since Yashamaru had tried to kill Gaara, there had been numerous other attempts to take his life. He had killed them every time, but she had interfered once when Gaara had turned eight years old. She had destroyed a building and while there had been a lot of injuries, only the assassin had died. After that, the red head had forbidden her to interrupt again.

He had grown unstable over the years and enjoyed taking the lives of those that came for his. Every time he killed, she saw a portion of that remaining kindness die away as well. She was afraid that one day it would disappear and he’d lose sight of himself. It was a terrifying thought.

Eizan had quickly learned that he hardly ever slept. He had never told her and she hadn’t asked, but she knew it most likely had to do with the Incarnate of Sand within him. She wondered if it would get free and devour him if he happened to sleep. One night, he had asked her to watch him while he tried to sleep. It had been a bit startling but she had agreed to wake him if it looked like the demon was starting to escape.

The first times he had managed to get half an hour of rest before she had to wake him up. However, during one of those sessions she had been exhausted from training and had fallen asleep after him. The biju had broken through and attacked her. It had demolished her house and gravely injured her. Gaara never tried to sleep in her presence again.

Eizan knew she had failed him and had felt awful, but his presence had reassured her. If he was still at her side that meant that he forgave her for the mistake. By this point she had stopped asking him for anything for herself and only did as he asked. It was almost to a point that if he asked for her heart, she’d gladly rip it out of her chest and hand it to him before she died.

She didn’t know if he realized it, or didn’t care, but he had saved her life by allowing her to remain by his side for so long. He had dispelled her loneliness and gave her a reason to live again, and so would offer up her life to him if he desired it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Gaara was twelve and Eizan eleven when they graduated from the academy to officially become Genin. Akemi and Miwako had also passed to the Genin level that same year. They were to be put into three man cells with two of the students of the same class.

She almost strangled the substitute Chunin instructor when he placed her in a different team than Gaara. It had been a sight as the red head had made her stop with a simple word. Eizan had sighed and resigned herself. They’d learned to fear the sand using shinobi even more as they realized that she followed any order he gave her.

One of the boys had muttered something along the lines of her being Gaara’s lap dog. She hadn’t heard him because he had been across the room, but moments later Akemi had appeared besides him and decked the taller ninja. He’d fallen like a ton of bricks to the floor and had looked at the Itagaki with a stunned expression. Eizan was a bit confused and wouldn’t find out what had happened until several months later.

Gaara had been placed in a cell with his two siblings, Temari and Kankurou, who had been Genin longer than them. Eizan despised them both. Kankurou resembled his father greatly and she suspected that the scarlet haired shinobi hated him for the same reason. The older boy must have learned this since he started to wear Kabuki face paint shortly after Gaara joined his team.

Temari resembled his mother more but she doubted that Gaara hated her because of this. Eizan disliked her so much because she had looked at her youngest brother with the same fear and hate as all those ignorant villagers and other ninja when they had been younger. Not to mention the fact that they were weaker when compared to both Gaara and her.

Eizan had been placed in a cell with Akemi and Miwako. It was easy to see that they were good fighters, but she was still stronger since training had been all she had devoted herself since her family’s deaths. Their clothing, however, had too much of a feminine flair and not enough protection for battle.

Akemi even wore a skirt, and even if she wore shorts underneath, she didn’t like it. It would be good if they were in enemy territory and had to blend in with civilians, but it was unacceptable while in the village.

“Are you girls or ninja?” Eizan asked them as she was forced to sit with them. The desk had enough room for three people, and she sat on the edge at they sat to her left. It had been her intention to join Gaara but he had stopped her with a shake of his head. So she had followed her instructors’ orders for once.

Miwako ran her slender fingers through her shoulder length black hair, and fixed intense emerald eyes on the shortest of them. “We are ninja of course,” she replied with a smirk.

“Wrong,” Eizan snapped. “You are kunoichi that dress like girls and have unfit names.” She leaned back in her seat as she glanced at Gaara as he sat a few desks away by himself. A soft sigh left her lips and she turned her attention back to the taller girls.

Akemi’s arms were folded upon the desk before her and she now turned her body and head slightly back to look at her. She surpassed the Ashikaga girl in height, size and age, but there was something about her that made the Itagaki listen.

“How’re our names unfit?” Miwako spoke up once more while her companion remained silent besides her.

She stifled a yawn as her crimson-rimmed orbs shifted from one to the other. “Names like yours are good if you are under the guise of a civilian. However, in the village you will be called kunoichi and considered weaker.” A smirk spread over her features. “That is how the Kazekage sees us, as the weaker sex.”

“Wouldn’t that be an advantage?” Akemi finally spoke up. She pushed back a few strands of her waist length, dark brown hair behind her ear, and even as she seemed to be disagreeing with her logic, her black eyes were riveted on Eizan.

“Hai, it would be an advantage outside of Suna, but not within.” She folded her arms behind her head and gave them an almost bored look. “We are a kunoichi cell and in their eyes we will not be strong enough for anything other than D-rank missions.”

Before either girl could disagree, Eizan stood as they were dismissed for lunch. She could tell that they didn’t seem convinced by her words. “I guess it shouldn’t bother you,” she replied as her eyes narrowed. “You have your families’ wealth to depend on in case you only get D-rank assignments.” She moved off toward the door that the red head had disappeared through as she stuffed her hands into her pockets.

Akemi and Miwako watched her go and then turned to look at their clothing. The fire user had a point. Even if they were given the low paying missions, they’d still have their families. Eizan, on the other hand, didn’t have anyone to depend on for food and clothing but her.

The two girls glanced at one another and nodded before standing and hurrying out the door. They only had half an hour to get back to the classroom.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Gaara had disappeared after having finished his lunch and she was left to eat the rest of hers alone. When she was done, she’d spread out on the roof they had been on and gazed at the sky. There was hardly any wind today, and she could see the clouds since they weren’t obscured by a sand storm. She folded her arms behind her head with a sigh and enjoyed the heat of the day.

Her black hair had been as long as Akemi’s at one point, but had been cut so that it reached her jaw and left wild. The Suna hitai-ate she had received was fastened on her forehead and it was twisted up to the left at an angle and held her long bangs away from her eyes. She wore chain mail and a protective vest underneath a dark purple shirt with long, black fishnet sleeves. Her black pants were high-water for ventilation, with bandages wrapped around both thighs, a kunai holster attached to the right one, and her shuriken holster at the left. She also donned the black issue sandals.

Two years ago she had carved the kanji sign for love into her upper left shoulder, just above her growing breast with a sharpened kunai. Gaara had found her as she had been stopping the bleeding and had slapped her as she had fallen to the ground. She had stared up at him in shock; since it was the first time he had struck her.

He had crouched in front of her as she glanced away, and his hands had closed her opened shirt but left the wound exposed. “Why did you do this?” he asked her tonelessly. He had thrown the bloody bandages she had been using aside, and had pressed clean ones from his pouch against the scarred flesh.

Eizan had glanced back and met his eyes, but had been unable to identify the emotion within them. She had been unable to hold his gaze and had looked away again to rest her eyes on his hand as it pressed the bandages against her wound to stop the bleeding.

“I wanted to feel your pain,” she finally said. At the time she had been desperate to feel closer to him, since he had been pulling away everyday. She had been afraid that one day all she’d see in him was hatred and death.

She had seen his hand still for the slightest moment, and then start to dab at the wound once again. “You are a fool,” he had told her in that emotionless tone.

When she risked a look at his face, he met her gaze and she saw that hint of kindness once more. It had been a bit startling but then she smiled and nodded. “Hai,” she had agreed.

Eizan sat up and glanced off the side of the roof. Gaara had told her that he would meet his two teammates in another location and she had to return to the classroom by herself to meet her Jonin sensei. She sighed as she jumped off the roof and made her way back to the building, stuffing her hands into her pockets as she went.

Before she reached the door, she stopped as two figures appeared in front of her. The taller one had a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up and gray pants with the left leg wrapped in bandages. She saw that there was a pouch at her right lower back and shuriken and kunai holsters at the right thigh. The same black sandals were worn and the Suna hitai-ate was at her forehead as her bangs fell across it. Eizan could see a dark brown braid over one shoulder and she realized that it was Akemi.

Miwako was on her right side and was wearing a short sleeved, black shirt and white shorts and the left thigh had her holsters and she also had the pouch at her back where everything from kunai, shuriken and scrolls could be kept. Her sand headband was tied around her waist and black hair pulled back into a ponytail.

“What-”

“We simply followed your advice,” Miwako said with a slight grin. She placed her hands at her waist and seemed slightly amused by the look on Eizan’s face. “I think it’ll be harder to change our names, but for now just called me Erizawa Iwane.” This was said with a shrug. “I never liked the name Miwako anyways.”

Akemi had been quiet this whole time and now she looked at Eizan. “My grandfather and parents won’t agree with my choice to change my clothes and name,” she said with a hint of defiance in her black eyes. “So call me Itagaki Amane.”

Eizan glanced from one to the other and sighed as she stretched her arms over her head. “Very well then, let’s go meet our weak sensei,” she muttered with a yawn, although she found a smirk stretching over her features as she walked off. ‘Perhaps things won’t be so bad.’

The three girls entered the classroom to see several of the other teams going off with their sensei. They took a seat at a nearby desk to wait for theirs and before long the others had left so only they remained. The substitute Chunin instructor had gone off as well with the petty excuse of a meeting with his co-workers. Eizan had hopped up on the desk to wait and the newly named Amane and Iwane had opted to stand beside the desk.

After several minutes, Eizan stood as she gave a yawn and started to walk off. “I’m leaving,” she muttered and the two girls hurried to catch up to her.

As they reached the door, someone opened it and the pyro glanced up at the older ninja. He wore his Suna headband around his right upper arm over the sleeve of his black shirt that went to his elbows. His pants were also black and there wasn’t a hint of color on him, since his sandals were also black. It reminded her of Kankurou’s own all black clothing. She hated him already.

His longish reddish brown hair was pulled in a low ponytail at the nape of his neck. A black cloth mask hid the lower part of his face, but his dark brown eyes were fixed on the shortest girl in a hateful manner. ‘So, the instructor hates me as well? Just peachy.’

“And where are you three going?” he asked, but was only looking at Eizan with that cold stare. She could tell that he was strong, but it didn’t bother her that he hated her. Almost all of Suna hated her besides Gaara, a young Suna ANBU, Amane and Iwane, so she was use to it.

Everyone had obviously thought she hung around Gaara because they were both isolated. Now that they knew she served him they’d be more hostile toward her. She didn’t care since she’d be willing to suffer through hell for the red headed shinobi. All she cared about was staying by his side. Eizan didn’t know what would become of her if he ever dismissed her. She only knew that she’d rather die than return to the loneliness again.

A hand slipped to her hip as she stared fearlessly back at her instructor. “You’re late,” she told him bluntly.

The Jonin raised an eyebrow and a grin spread over his features under his mask. “You’re not going anywhere.” His harsh gaze lifted and fastened on both Amane and Iwane, as both girls seemed intimidated by him. Eizan merely crossed her arms over her chest and met his stare unflinchingly when it came to land on her once again.

Kazuyoshi Enoki narrowed his eyes when she refused to look away or cower. He had seen Ashikaga Arisa after her family’s death and she had been a weak, fearful five-year-old girl. She had changed drastically over the years.

“Your training starts now.” He turned and left the Academy. Once outside he headed toward the edge of the village as the sun started to set. The training grounds would be hard to see since the moon’s light did not reach there due to the cliffs located close by.

If Eizan had heard his thoughts, she would have almost laughed. Ashikaga Arisa was dead, and she was Ashikaga Eizan.

The two girls looked at her, but she merely shrugged and followed after him as they did the same. She never once let her guard down around anyone besides Gaara, since she hadn’t told him something. After she had interfered with the assassination attempt when he had been eight, the Kazekage had sent an assassin after her as well.

She had been walking alone toward her house that night and she hadn’t been expecting it. Before the sand-nin could inflict harm on her, someone had stopped him. She had looked up and had been almost horrified to see an Anbu member standing in front of her.

He wore a black long sleeved shirt with the Suna symbol stitched into the right bicep. The sleeves were tucked into matching gloves that had a thin metal plate over the knuckles, and a beige armored vest was worn over the shirt. There were shin guards secured over the black pants, and he also donned black issue sandals but they looked different than hers.

Eizan hadn’t wanted to take her eyes off of him, but her gaze had unconsciously gone to the dead assassin. He had disappeared without a word and she had only caught sight of his short, spiky brown hair because a white porcelain mask had hid his face. It had had the Suna symbol etched into the right cheek and the kanji for ‘Harukaze’ on the forehead.

He saved her every time they came for her life, but he never let her thank him before he left as quickly as he had showed up. She quickly learned to never sleep in her room, and to let Gaara handle them when they came while she was with him. It was obvious to her that that they were after them both, but she never told him about the other times and she didn’t know why.

That’s why she was suspicious of their Jonin instructor since he might be after her life as well. However, that isn’t what had happened that night as they had arrived at the training ground that was located farthest away from the houses.

Enoki had vanished among the quickly gathering shadows as they had stopped and looked around for him. He attacked several moments later and after managing to avoid him, she realized he was serious. He didn’t pull back his punches if they didn’t manage to block, and some could inflict serious harm.

When he attacked next it was a frontal assault and threw several shuriken before him. Eizan was blocking the other two’s view but she saw as they each moved around her to deflect the projectiles. The fire wielder flipped over their heads and met Enoki head on. Their kunai clashed and locked into place. He had the greater strength, but she used her excess chakra to keep him at bay and he was surprised as he felt himself gradually being forced back.

Lifting a leg to kick her, she lifted hers to block it and force it to the ground once again. She pushed forward and he was slightly off balance for a second. Taking advantage of it, she used all her strength against him as he stumbled back. Eizan flipped backwards and her feet nailed him under the chin as he fell back. Because of her chakra and her training, she had been able to match his speed.

It continued on like this that night, and he picked up the level of his attacks every half an hour. The other two girls weren’t as fast and she was forced to defend them too many times, and had sustained numerous wounds but luckily it was nothing fatal. The others weren’t in danger and only had minor injuries thanks to her interference.

She blocked another attack meant for Akemi and got hurt in the process. The pain shot through her as she clenched her teeth to keep from crying out. Quickly, she started to form seals for a jutsu as he came at them again.

‘Katon, Housenka no Jutsu!’ She brought her hand around her mouth and breathed in before expelling fireballs from her mouth rapidly. Her brother had taught her this jutsu a long time ago, but she had only mastered it a year after his death.

He had learned it from someone in Konohagakure no Sato. Eizan had met him, since she had been there when her sibling had taken part in the Chunin Exam. During her Academy days, she had found out that the leaf-nin had killed his entire clan. She wasn’t sure whether it was true or not, but her brother had told her that he had been stronger despite being younger.

Enoki frowned and jumped back several times to avoid the fireballs. When she prepared to make her next move, he held out a hand to stop her. “Training is over for tonight,” he said as he breathed in heavily. They were all winded, and he had a few minimal wounds as well. The training had only lasted about four hours, but they had trained well. Eizan doubted that the other teams had gotten the same rough treatment besides Gaara’s team.

After glaring at him a moment, Eizan nodded and straightened before dropping the seal. He told them that they’d meet tomorrow and every night, and it was up to them how to train for it. It was clear that he wouldn’t train them but test and attack them to see if they were keeping up. This was more of a battle, and he would most likely increase his level of attacks as time ran down as he had done tonight.

When he left she had taken out some bandages and thrown them at Amane and Iwane before turning away. “Tomorrow at first light,” she told and then strolled away. As she had walked off she folded her arms behind her head and turned casually around the corner in the direction that would lead to her house. It would be empty.

As she finally arrived, she unlocked and opened the door and stepped inside. The entire house was silent and dark. As she closed and locked the door, she finally collapsed before it with a groan. She had taken too many attacks meant for the others and had strained her chakra with that last attack, but Eizan had refused to show weakness in front of any of them.

She rested the side of her face against the uncomfortably cool wooden floor. Before she closed her eyes, she saw a glint of light from the darkness. Her gaze shifted toward it as it reflected against her Suna hitai-ate.

A figure dressed in all black stepped out of the shadows, and in the dim light she was barely able to make out the hourglass like symbol on his headband. Eizan couldn’t muster the strength to move as he approached her. His hand slipped into the pouch at his side as he stopped beside her.

Another assassin had come for her life but it looked like he’d be successful that night since there was no sign of the Anbu. He lifted the kunai in his hand as her eyes slid shut, and the last thing she saw was the moonlight glinting off the sharpened edge of his weapon as it descended toward her.-

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Translations:

1. Seiza: is the traditional and formal way of sitting in Japan. It is quite polite to sit in seiza style, where you kneel on the floor, resting your buttocks on your heels with the tops of your feet flat on the floor.

2. Dogeza: dates back to when samurai served Japanese feudal lords, but it is still practiced today under extreme circumstances in which one begs for forgiveness or pleads for consent. The feet and legs are positioned as in seiza. However, unlike seiza, those performing dogeza bow deeply with their face down and hands to the side.

3. Harukaze: lit. “spring wind”

4. seals: a bunch of hand movements that are named and represented after animals.

5. Katon, Housenka no Jutsu: lit. “Fire Release, Mythical Fire Flower Technique”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

End, Chapter Three

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