Title: Frying pan skills meet Deidara
By: Grace McNicholl, with help from friends.
(A/N: sorry if this isn’t the way you envisioned it XD should be good anyway.)
(It was a perfectly normal day in Wellington, unsuspecting citizens were going about their business as usual, Kei was in her usual place or profession, and one by one different pens would somehow mysteriously disappear from shelves.)
Kei: dum, dum, dum another one bites the dust
(A poor red pen met the same fate as other various objects ranging from notepads to strange gooey … Things?)
(A strange cross dresser stood at the entrance of Whitcoulls staring blankly inside, he noticed a short girl swiftly pinching pens and mentally praised her, um, gift. He entered the shop curiously)
Deidara: hmm, I wonder if this place sells explosives, yeah. Excuse me sir, do you sell explosives? Yeah
Store manager: um… (He gave a nervous glance at the store room door) explosives? Holy crap how does he know we are storing nuclear weapons of mass destruction, is he a government spy, shit Steve won’t like this
Deidara: Yes I would like to purchase some explosives if you have any, yeah
Store manager: W-why would you want to purchase these explosives you speak of?
Deidara: well you see I kind of used all my clay up when I was abducting this leader dude of this big city place and then this shrimp came and picked a fight with me so I like had to use the last of it and, yeah
Store manager: (Sweat drop) riiiiight, weeeelllll we don’t ‘sell’ these explosives that you speak of so um yeah. I am happy to show you our slinky range though.
Deidara: what’s a slinky?
(5 minutes later Deidara was mesmerised by a bright pink slinky before he realised his true mission)
Deidara: Heh, heh it moves, move slinky move, oh right the mission.
(A/N: Deidara is an idiot *sigh*)
(James bond music)
Deidara: hah fear my awesome S-ranked ninja stalking skills, yeah
(Deidara unfortunately after saying this plunged head first into a stack of DVDs, whether this was on purpose or not, only Deidara will know)
Deidara: crap that hurt, yeah
(Kei waltzes to the shop exit)
Store manager: Halt there little lady
Kei: don’t call me little!
Store manager: (taken aback) Um sorry miss
Kei: (Evil glare)
Store manager: Um you seem to have a rather large bag might I question as to what is in it and whether you have purchased those items from our store.
Kei: ookaaay, right. Oh me god what’s that over there, why it’s a highly explosive bright pink flying bunny rabbit
Store manager: Where?!
(Kei slinks past the store manager who is furtively trying to locate this ‘bunny rabbit’)
Kei: sucker
Deidara: you have good skills with nicking off with items, yeah
(Kei spins around brandishing a frying pan, the one that was hidden under her shirt)
Deidara: um, okay when did you pinch that frying pan or do you like to hide frying pans up your shirt?
Kei: (blush) I taxed it from the warehouse recently; I have an obsession with frying pans.
Deidara: (sweat drop) well good for you unfortunately I have to steal you now, orders from my boss.
Kei: how ironic but you must defeat my 1337 fry1//6 p4// 5l
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Chapter notes: This is a story that my friend wanted me to post for her, its in script form because she couldn’t be bothered writing it like a story… yeah, anyway anything from this point forward isn’t mine!
Disclaimer: most of these characters aren’t mine, normally you would find something really funny said here, but I am in a foul mood so fsk you (heh I said a naughty word)
Chapter end notes: Stay tuned for the next chapter of Akatsuki slaves!!!!
(Ive always wanted to do that...XD)