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The Poker Incident by Rowanashke

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Table of Contents

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Story notes: Blame the cough syrup. Sure, that's good.
Chapter notes: I don't own Naruto.

... between paras indicate different notes/letters.
Hatake Kakashi:

This is to inform you that I SAW YOU YOU FUCKING PERVERT! I’ve trapped ALL of the trees around my house. If you EVER try and sneak a peek at me in my BATHROOM I swear I’ll CUT it OFF do you understand me?

Umino




Iruka-chan,

I’m sorry. Can you forgive me, my luscious chuunin? I was overcome with thoughts of you *scribbled, erased* I’m sorry.

Humbly, Kakashi



Kakashi-

Go to hell.

Iruka.



Iruka,

Hey. Look, do us a favor, will you? Tell me how to take that damn jutsu off? I know he deserves to be punished-hell, I felt like hitting him when I found out-but man, he’s killing US. I can’t take anymore of his whining! We’re about to kill him. So, for the sanity of your friends, please please please tell me how to release the jutsu?

PLEASE!

Asuma.

Ps please!



Asuma,

Sorry, I had to leave for a mission. But I’m not taking it off. Not until he apologizes, the PERVERT.

Iruka.



Iruka,

Dammit, what did you do to Kakashi? The sight of him walking into the classroom….man, I think he scarred me, let alone the kids. Did you shove a poker up his ass or something?

Shikamaru.



My Essay, by Yun.

Today we met a jounin named Hatake Kakashi. Boy, he walked funny. Iruka-sensei got all red and had to leave. Hatake told us about missions an stuff. He must have a lot of energy, cause he couldn’t sit down. He walked all over the classroom. I want to be a jounin someday. They have all the cool weapons. Hatake showed us some. I can’t wait.



Ru-Ru:

I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. Please let me out? Then maybe I can make it up to you with sex. Lots of beautiful, hot sex. I’ll even throw in a free dinner.

Lovingly,

Kakashi



Kakashi:

GO TO HELL!

Umino.



To Umino Iruka:

This is a direct order. Release Hatake Kakashi from the jutsu you’ve placed him under, or you will face charges.

By order of the Hokage’s office.

(Handwritten at the bottom)
Iruka, sweetheart, I know and I completely sympathize. But it’s time to let him go, ok? The other males are starting to twitch in sympathy. Tsunade.



Hey Iruka!

Just thought you’d appreciate a little note. Hope your mission went well. I saw Kakashi today. He’s walking much better. He flinches when you say the word “poker” though. I’ve never laughed so hard in my whole life. Thanks! See you when you get back to work.

Kotetsu.



Iruka-chan,

I just got back from a mission and you’re gone again. Man. It sounds like I missed all the fun. I tried to get it from the source but Kakashi turns beet red, buries himself in his book, and mumbles. Genma tried to tell me but he couldn’t stop laughing. Something about a jutsu, a tree, a poker and Kakashi spying? Genma even had a funny walk to show me. I’m going to watch for you and as soon as you get home, you’re going to tell me!!!!

Anko



Ruka-chan,

Truce, truce! I solemnly swear never to try and spy on you in the bathroom again. Please stop sending those pokers to my house?

Kakashi.

Chapter end notes: man i love cough syrup. yuummmie.
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