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CalmQuietSane by Archaic Aphorism

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Don't own, don't profit... yeah, I should probably go back and add disclaimers to all the stories I forgot to put them in.

Shikamaru liked calm people. Like Chouji or Neji and sometimes Iruka. Not like Ino or Kiba and sometimes Lee.

Shikamaru liked quiet people. Like Chouji or Neji and sometimes Iruka. Not like Ino or Kiba and sometimes Lee.

Shikamaru liked sane people, like Chouji or Neji and sometimes Iruka. Not like Ino or Kiba and sometimes Lee, Shino, Tenten, Sasuke Sakura NarutoIrukaKakashiTsunade- the list went on.

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Shikamaru isn't sure which list he belongs in- sane or not sane- but he asks Tsunade to make Neji his partner, because any way he looks at it (useful, compatible, calmquietsane) Neji is always on the like list. So is Chouji, but Shikamaru doesn't want to work too closely with his friend. Waiting at the hospital for Chouji to regain consciousness is bad enough, and he's seen Chouji get hurt too many times in Ino-Shika-Chou to do it anymore. He'd rather be away when it happens and come home to hear the stories from a grinning, fully functioning Chouji.

No matter how he looks at it (aloof, distant, coldstoiccruel) he can't see himself experiencing emotional trauma over Neji getting hurt. Of course he wouldn't enjoy seeing Neji get hurt, but he knows that it would be easier to handle such a situation logically if it didn't wreck him emotionally. And Neji won't wreck him emotionally.

Tsunade accepts, and his first mission with Neji is in three days. It's difficult, especially since it will be the first time they have worked together, not in a large group. But Neji is a genius. Shikamaru is a genius. To them, it will be easy.

"Do you like to play Shogi?" he asks when they meet at the gate, and Neji answers with eyes narrowed, "No."

Shikamaru likes words falling from thin, pale lips that are always pinched in a tight line, or sometimes in a scowl, if he pesters long enough. He learns that Neji is quieter than he suspected, that prying words from those pretty, pale lips is difficult, even for a genius like him, but he likes so very much to watch words tumble from those lips. It's not much of a surprise to him when he leans in a places a chaste kiss on Neji's lips (those pretty lips that so rarely spill words). Neji's not dumb, he isn't surprised, either.

He begins to see Neji outside of missions, of which they have plenty, because Tsunade knows how efficient they are. He thinks he's happy, because no matter how he looks at it (agreeable, capable, calmquietsane) Neji is always on the like list.

Then he sees the seal, livid and green and glowing, and oh-so-pretty, but Neji is rolling on the floor, shrieking, and Shikamaru thinks this wasnĄ¯t such a good idea after all. When Hiashi walks away and Neji rolls over, backing facing Shikamaru (because Neji still has his pride, dignity, reputationimagetitle to uphold) and pukes, all over the nice clean floors at the Hyuuga complex, so Shikamaru takes Neji's quivering shoulders and helps him to the bathroom. Neji isn't so quiet, muttered words gushing from his pretty, pale lips, but Shikamaru isnĄ¯t interested in Neji's pretty, pale lips, or the words he saying, because he thinks he may have made a big mistake.

"I'm so sorry," he says, and Neji snarls, "You could never understand." But he has to understand, if they're going to make this work, and Neji reluctantly begins his explanation.

By the end of it, Shikamaru isn't so sure Neji is sane, but he hugs him and kisses him chastely anyways, because it's too late to back out now, even for a coward like him. He wonders when he stopped being such a coward, when he started taking responsibility. He thinks this might be the first time, but isn't sure. He is sure that this won't be the last time.

Now that he knows, Neji openly talks to him about the Hyuuga. How his uncle is doing this, and how he's doing that. How he should do this, but isn't. There's another child born in the Branch family, she's only an infant, but they've branded her already, because last week a mother told her daughter to run (there, fast, extremelyveryfar away) before they caged her. The mother was killed, and the rest of the Branch was punished. Hinata cried, Hanabi sneered. Neji screamed and vomited.

Neji isn't quiet anymore. He paces and shouts and slams his fists on the counters, walls, tablesfloorsdressers in the cramped apartment they share. Shikamaru finds himself afraid, hating that seal more than Neji knows or can understand, slinking out when he can to avoid Neji's wrath, anger, hatredspitefear. Neji isn't sane, any more.

Shikamaru doesn't think he made a mistake anymore. He knows he did, and he asks Tsunade to stop pairing him with Neji. Give him Genma or Raido and sometimes any other jounin he doesnĄ¯t know too well. Tsunade doesn't think it's a good idea for Shikamaru to constantly change partners, but Shikamaru is the genius here, and she figures he knows what he's doing, so she once again accepts, and sends him on his merry way.

Neji gets louder, angrier, frenziedvengfulviolent when he finds out what Shikamaru's done. He yells and he shouts, until the neighbors beat on the walls. He throws chairs and books and pots and pans, until there is nowhere to sit and Shikamaru has to hide his books in the attic. The cooking ware is gone and they eat take-out, standing over the counter. Neji isn't coherent anymore, or maybe he's just repeated himself so much Shikamaru's ears are bleeding, and Shikamaru can't stand it any more. He shouts back at Neji, they fight, and ultimately storm off to their separate bars. A little sake does the trick, loosening Shikamaru's already tired tongue, and before he knows it, he's spilling his guts to Naruto, one of the noisiest, least-calm, most-insane people he knows.

The first time, he doesn't think so much about it, but the second, third, fourthfifthsixth- eleventh time he knows it's too late. He can't convince himself it's still just coincidence or that he doesn't seek Naruto out, any more, because no matter how he looks at himself (relaxed, content, calmquietsane) he's never on the like list. He's jumpy and ill at ease, he avoids home at all costs; his mind is sluggish, drug down with all his mistakes and regrets. He worries and his hands are shaky. He shouts at Neji and mutters to Naruto. He does things that just don't make sense, except in his own twisted mind.

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Shikamaru likes calm people. Like Chouji or Shino and sometimes Tenten. Not like Ino or Kiba and sometimes LeeNejihimself. He likes quiet people, like Shino or Hinata and sometimes Chouji. Not like Ino or Kiba and sometimes LeeNejihimself. He likes sane people, like Ino or Kiba and sometimes Lee, Shino, Tenten, Sasuke Sakura NarutoIrukaKakashiTsunade- the list goes on.

Not like himself or Neji.
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