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Seishintekikyoko by dangerprawn

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I am me. I am Naruto Uzumaki. I am not the demon which lives within me. I believe this because I choose to believe it and this makes it true. I choose for my thoughts to be hopeful instead of angry, this is my way of the ninja. In this way I overcome the demon in me and in this way I overcome every other obstacle which comes my way. I have separated myself from my demons and the pain they have caused me. In a shinobi the anger and contempt which steam from pain held on to weaken the integrity of his soul like rust weakens the integrity of a weapon.

This is the case with Sasuke. He and his demons are intertwined. In this way the demons which haunt my best friend are far more dangerous than the demon which lives within me. It’s a raging monster pulling him around. It wants to rip our skins apart and tear out the strings connecting our hearts. This makes me afraid for him. He feels he has no hope of finding a home and this way about him is startling. But, he’s better than that. I know he’s better than that. I suppose there is just something he is needing to find. Until he finds it he will be in pain and, I know, he is looking to end his pain in all the wrong places. He’s just making himself hurt worse. I have to show him differently. I would be a failure as a shinobi and a failure as a friend if I did not.

I looked over at him. The sun streamed across his face. He was still as I remembered - with delicate, angry features and full, pouting lips - only older. He looked as if, in all the time his soul had hidden his darkness, he too had hidden away from light – keeping to damp, dim caverns and the shade beneath the dense trees of deep forests, coming out only at night or with the cover of clouds during thunderstorms. His was skin pale and fragile and smooth like rice paper, his breathing imperceptibly shallow. His hair was so black it was almost blue. But, his thick eyelashes were just plain black.

I like the way his name sounds when I look at him, when I say it to him. When I say his name to him I say it in a special way that means, ‘You are my best friend and I love you.’ But, nobody knows that. I doubt even he knows it. Still it means that when I say it and only when I say it. It has double meaning when I snarl it. It has triple meaning when I whisper it. It had triple meaning now. Forget all he’d put me through in the past few years, specifically in the two days.

“Sasuke, are you in pain? Sasuke?”

We lay down in the clean grass with the familiar smell of the ferns and the new leaves. His fingers were soft between mine. We were together again and I was going to take him home. But, I worried that there wasn’t any hope left in him to light up his cheeks. I worried that there was no joy left in him or blood, either.

He was bleeding and he was not responding to my voice anymore. Droplets of his blood and of my blood decorated the blades of grass like little tiny rubies. I begged him to wake up so I could finally, after all this time, take us home.

“Sasuke, you bastard, look at me. They’re coming.”

I squeezed his hand. His fingers were cold. I tried to squeeze again. But, I was very tired. My body trembled and my hands did not move. I was cold, too. I felt the blood rushing from my head and I couldn’t find any strength to try again. The forest swirled around me, faded out of focus once then again as I blinked. The next thing I saw were the blue sky and two white masks with the faces of animals standing over us.

They put their hands on Sasuke and I panted, “You can’t.”

They sort of looked at one another. One of them had a silver tussle of hair that I could have sworn was Kakashi’s if I hadn’t known that he had left ANBU before I had become a Genin.

“Sasuke, wake up,” I commanded.

Miraculously, he did.

I struggled with the words, “Tell them that they can’t take you. Tell them that I spared your life and now it belongs to me. So, they can’t take you unless I give you to them. Say it.”

He swallowed hard and panted, “You can’t take me because Naruto-sama allowed me to live in exchange my life. I belong to him now. You can’t take me unless he gives you to me.”

“That’s right,” I panted as fatigue completely overtook me.

The last thing I heard before I passed out was Sasuke say to one of them, “Be careful with the one with the orange hair. Keep him locked up if you can.”

The next time I opened my eyes I was in the hospital and Sakura was standing over me. Ironically – pathetically if you consider the fact that I am a ninja – this was the third time in two days that I had woken up with someone standing over me. But, we’ll get to that later.

Her pink hair was soft and silky and smelled nice, just like a cherry blossom petal. But, I knew that if I reached out and touched her that she would probably hurt me. After all, I had just done what could be considered either a very courageous or very stupid thing.

I rolled my head to the left. Sasuke lay in the bed next to mine, the one by the window. It was evening and the crisp, white sheets were pulled up under his arms, neatly folded back down at his elbows. He looked much smaller in a hospital gown than he did in his regular clothes. The machines which were helping him breathe made a gentle, rhythmic mechanical sound which filled the room with a sound like the quiet, constant breaths of a sleeping lover. While the machines which were helping the medics monitor the beating of our hearts kept time in unison.

I felt a tender hand on my face. Sakura turned my head back so I was again looking at her. She smiled down at me sadly. It confuses me how she can do this – smile sadly. I could never manage to do anything but laugh when I’m happy and cry when I’m sad. For all Ero-sennin’s attempts to explain them, women are still a mystery to me.

“Sakura,” I complained.

She covered my eyes with her delicate fingers and commanded, “Go back to sleep, you fool.”

I could not resist. But, that was ok because everything was going exactly as I had planned.
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