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Shinobi Holidays by Oni_Chan

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Chapter notes: I don't own holidays, the characters, or Tora and Yuki.
If I owned the holidays they would be like you see here...
The characters are Kishimoto's...
And Yuki and Tora are Nikki's
Enjoy this crack fic idea that came to me thanks to two fun friends and our random child scarring stories.
Now, we all know the stories of childhood holidays that bring us gifts and joy. Santa and his great bag of gifts with flying reindeer and little toy making elves. The Easter Bunny and his game of eggs and candy baskets. And even the Tooth Fairy with her way of taking fallen teeth from sleeping children who wake to find the gift of money.

But those are the legendary stories of our world. The shinobi children do not grow up as lucky.

Their childhood stories are filled with magical psychopaths who bring them chaos and disaster. Santa brings only evil things with flying pretadors and slightly bipolar partners in crime. The Easter Bunny hides exploding eggs and poisoned candy. And the Tooth Fairy steals anything from teeth to the shirt off their backs while leaving only pain haunting memories.

If you are looking for a tale of happy children receiving gifts of joy and cheer, I suggest you click the back button and put this fic behind you.

If you wish to read a story of horror and death and gore, I suggest you click away from here, possibly another tale I've told will fix this need.

This is a story of chaos and destruction upon small children and crazed hormonal teens jumping each other. If this is the fic you have sought out then please continue on and learn of the fears of young shinobi.

---

In a mystical cave of magic and wonder, the holidays and legendary myths of shinobi lived together in a treaty a plenty peace with duck tap holding the harmony together. Only a small group of these violent holiday representatives managed to live in a form of peace.

Santa Claus.

A reign-tiger.

An elf aka acomplise.

The Easter Bunny.

And the Tooth Fairy.

A raven haired man flated around the cave flapping his sparkly red wings. His cloud cloak fluttered as he moved around. "Deidara! Your damn eggs exploded again!" he called angrily fluttering around.

A blonde with long blond hair and white floppy ears hopped into the cavern from another cave tunnel. "Sorry, Itachi, un," the blonde scratched his head and smiled. "I thought I lost one of the eggs, yeah." The blonde whistled as he looked at the mess his little egg had caused.

Itachi shot his red gaze at the blonde and crossed his arms as he hovered in place, "I'm not cleaning that up."

Deidara grumbled, "Well if someone, un, had looked for his egg before hand we would not be in this positon, un."

Itachi scowled and turned around to yell into the cavern, "Elf-kun!"

At the sound of the floating fairy's voice a silver haired male decked in red and green and jingly bells came running to a skidding hault in front of him. "Yes Itachi-sama?" the silver haired elf squeaked.

As Itachi opened his mouth to order the elf to clean the room a third voice began cursing at the fairy. "He found you, un," Deidara snickered before hopping to the corner.

A redhead in a red and white santa suit, minus the belly and the beard and the old man smell, came storming in. He pulled the elf by the arm behind him and glared at the floating Itachi. "Ok you wanna be holiday, listen up. The elf is mine. Leave Tora-kun alone," he hissed.

Itachi growled and floated in circles. "Gaara-kun.. so mean. I just wanted him to help Deidara with the living room," he said gesturing around the cavern covered in clay.

Gaara grabbed Tora's arm and walked away, "Yeah I bet..." he grumbled with curses under his breath.

A white tiger sat by the door with little antlers on his head. He shook his fuzy and bizarre head at Itachi. "If you're going to jump the elf... be silent about it," he snickered before turning on his paws to lope after Santa and his elf.

"Who asked you, Yuki?! You deformed tiger thing!" Itachi growled pelting a knife in the tunnel the three had disappeared in.

The blonde in the corner of the room hopped out when all was safe. "Yuki is right, un. Gaara is wise about you and Tora, yeah," he snickered as his ears flopped.

Itachi scowled and looked at the bunny. "You two are just jealous I get to work more days than you," he huffed before angrily fluttering down another hallway.

Deidara shook his head. "Tempermental Tooth Fairy..yeah," he mumbled before hopping off the way he had come.
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