Thank you Dragonwyng for being my beta and for reading through this, I really appreciate your help!
Umino Iruka was wrapped warmly within the strong arms of his jounin boyfriend, Hatake Kakashi. He never slept alone, not anymore, not since he’d met Mizuki. Mizuki who’d taught him about his body, Mizuki who taught him about forbidden desire and hidden pleasures.
Iruka was a man of quiet, a man of low maintenance. If his loved ones were taken care of, Iruka was pleased. He didn’t want to worry about himself, he didn’t want to be viewed as selfish and he didn’t want to be seen as somebody weak. If he could take care of all those he loved, then he would never be viewed that way. Sighing deeply, content in the arms of his lover, Iruka closed his eyes once more.
So many things had brought him to this point. He never initiated anything; he would always, only do what his lover wanted. It was why he’d only ever been with Kakashi and Mizuki. They had been the only ones to ever approach him and admit to their admiring… their desire for the man. He didn’t want to disappoint, and he couldn’t say no, not when they had both made him feel so absolutely wonderful.
Mizuki was the first man who’d ever taught him how to enjoy his body. Mizuki was the first man to say such sweet things to him. Mizuki was the first man to ever make him feel needed. And when Mizuki expressed his own concern for Naruto, Iruka couldn’t stop himself from falling head over heels in love with him.
He’d already tried to keep his feelings as platonic as possible. But he knew that it would be impossible with Mizuki beside him all the time, holding him as a friend, loving him as a brother. Iruka couldn’t help but want more with him. He let himself long for the silver haired man, let himself desire him, let himself crave the touch he knew Mizuki would have. And he never said a word about it. He just moved through the everyday motions that he had to perform as a chuunin and as a teacher. He was given missions on occasion and he would have to perform them. He was given children that he had to mold into prosperous genin. He was a craftsman; he didn’t have time to long for his own childhood friend.
And so, it was Mizuki who made the first move.
“Iruka-sensei,” Mizuki smiled, knowing that it would make the chestnut-haired chuunin smile.
“Yes, Mizuki?” Iruka answered softly, smiling at his oldest and dearest friend.
“Iruka, I know this is going to sound a little forward, but I want to take you out. On a date,” Mizuki murmured, leaning over to talk softly into Iruka’s slowly blushing ear.
“Yes, you. I like you, Iruka-sensei, I want to know more about you, I want to give a relationship with you a try,” Mizuki whispered seductively. There was a faint dusting of pink across his pale cheeks and Iruka found he couldn’t say no. He’d wanted this anyway, and since Mizuki did as well, who was he to say no?
“O-okay,” Iruka nodded, his cheeks a deep red. He was still embarrassed though he knew that nothing wrong would come of this. They belonged together, didn’t they?
“I’ll pick you up tonight, okay?”
They’d known each other for so long, stayed with each other so often; they knew the other’s homes as intimately as their own. Iruka was thrilled. He would get a chance to learn more about his best friend.
“Do you mind if I kiss you before I leave?” Mizuki asked shyly, smiling at the man below him.
Bowing his head shyly, Iruka shook his head, “No, I don’t mind.”
All it had been was a simple brushing of lips across his blushing cheeks, but Iruka found himself almost immediately addicted to the feeling.
Kakashi’s form shifted in the bed and Iruka tensed, knowing that the jounin would wake up if he realized that his little ‘dolphin’ was awake. He sighed in relief as the silver-haired man settled again, his arms tightening around Iruka’s middle before sighing in his sleep. Kakashi was an excellent jounin, but when he was wrapped around Iruka, he was apt to be a lot more lax than normal. Iruka smiled at the man he loved now. He could remember the first time Kakashi had even said anything about finding him attractive. But the important thing to him was how different it was from Mizuki.
The first time he’d heard Mizuki admit his feelings, Iruka had been hesitant, but eagerly gave into whatever it was that Mizuki wanted. He couldn’t say no to his silver-haired lover, his boyfriend and best friend.
“Iruka,” Mizuki whispered, dancing his lips across Iruka’s tanned neck.
“Y-yeah?” the chuunin answered, shivering at the touch. Nobody had ever touched him like this before and he was almost immediately aroused.
“I want you,” Mizuki murmured, sucking almost painfully on Iruka’s neck.
“Wh-what do you mean?” Iruka asked, leaning into the touch.
“I want to be your first. Let me. Tonight,” Mizuki answered, letting his hand slide down Iruka’s firm chest to rest on the bulge that had presented itself.
“Mi-Mizuki!” Iruka whimpered softly, almost pleading to the man who was touching him.
“What is it darling?”
“I… I don’t m-mind,” Iruka answered, blushing shyly.
Without another word, Mizuki attacked Iruka’s lips. He smiled at the hesitant way Iruka tried to respond, letting his own lips follow what his younger, more forceful partner did. He gave in, closing his eyes and letting himself feel whatever it was Mizuki was doing to him. Mizuki’s hands weren’t idle either. As his lips dominated Iruka’s, so his hands dominated his body. The powerful hands slid under cloth before teasing warm flesh.
Iruka groaned and leaned into the sensations, knowing that it would be awkward after this, but they were lovers, and they were friends and it would be okay. Iruka had faith in that. He let himself be taken, almost forcefully, as though Mizuki were too impatient to be slow as Iruka got used to the feelings, to the sensations. And when they were through, though exhausted, Iruka was pleased to know that Mizuki would hold him gently. If only he’d known about the betrayal Mizuki had planned.
Tears sprang to his eyes. He’d been like this since he’d run into Mizuki again; since he’d learned that all that he and Mizuki had been through had been a farce. Mizuki had never really even enjoyed his company. He’d just wanted attention that Iruka had been lucky enough to get. It was impossible for Iruka to grasp that. He couldn’t understand why somebody who had been as lucky as Mizuki, somebody who had a family and a lot of friends and such a promising future could even think that Iruka wouldn’t be jealous of him. He couldn’t understand why Mizuki would want that extra attention that he got. It wasn’t even a lot of attention; just a few words of kindness now and again and some encouragement from the Hokage himself. But the Hokage went to all who had lost loved ones during the kyuubi attack and comforted them. Iruka was nothing special in that aspect.
He’d trusted Mizuki with all that he had had. He’d given everything he could to the man who claimed to be his lover, to be his friend. He didn’t know what else he could give; he couldn’t have given anything else. And after his betrayal, he was left broken and beaten, until Kakashi had stepped in.
Hatake Kakashi was an unusual man. He’d been through hell and back again, but that didn’t stop him from smiling. He’d lost everything and gained nearly nothing in return, but he still didn’t let the truth of shinobi bother him. He knew what it meant to give your life to the cause he had given it to. He knew what it meant to his lovers, his friends when he devoted himself to following the Hokage’s orders and becoming a silent slayer of men and keeper of secrets. He understood the principles that the shinobi lived by, he knew the risks that came with dedicating himself to that purpose.
And yet, he still smiled. He allowed himself to take great pleasure in the simplest of things. In the smiles and the secret jokes that he held with the other jounin. He was highly celebrated, highly recognizable and often targeted, but that didn’t stop him from setting down roots with anyone. In fact, he’d jealously pursued after Iruka until he’d gotten him. He hated to see his friends and lovers hurt, he hated to know that they were in pain and did everything he could to prevent it from happening. He jealously guarded those he loved, secretly celebrated their accomplishment and quietly mourned their shortcomings. Even now, with both Naruto and Sasuke out and about, he couldn’t stop himself from hating the fact that he couldn’t protect them both sufficiently within the borders of Konoha. He hated himself for knowing that though he had taught them both, they’d abandoned all they knew and loved to pursue each other.
Shaking his head, Iruka forced himself to stay away from those thoughts. Dwelling on missing ninja for too long would only cause him to alert his sensitive lover to his state of waking. He would rather keep the jounin asleep as long as possible. Kakashi never really took good enough care of himself, and Iruka was left with the clean-up. But he didn’t mind, he found that he was great at looking after his lover, great at making sure Kakashi was well taken care of in their home.
Closing his eyes, he shifted closer to his lover, his other half and smiled at the way the sleeping jounin immediately welcomed him into his embrace. Although Kakashi was one of the strongest shinobi in the village, in reality he was only a big softy when it came to those he loved. Iruka loved that about him. He couldn’t say no to Iruka though Iruka would never use that against him. He would never blackmail anyone, no matter what it was that he had to do.
Kakashi’s arms were warm. They always had been, and as far as Iruka could tell, they always would be. But Mizuki had had warm arms as well; and his kisses and loving caresses and whispered words. Kakashi was tender, commanding and loving; he complimented Iruka’s timidity with his boldness.
Kakashi had given no clues to Iruka that he was loved. He’d done nothing untoward or forward until after Mizuki’s betrayal. Iruka had been confined to his home, forbidden to continue on in his duties as teacher and chuunin. Aside from Naruto, Kakashi had been the first to come visit him in his home. And it was there that Kakashi had admitted to his feelings for the other ninja.
“Iruka,” Kakashi murmured softly, letting his long fingers dance deftly over the injured man’s back. He was calmly changing the bandages that covered his punctured back.
“What is it?”
“Would you hate me if I kissed you right now?”
Iruka closed his eyes, tossing his head before sighing. With heated tears in his eyes, he whispered, “I… I can’t. Mizuki.”
“I know. I understand. But I never said anything because I wouldn’t do anything to tear a couple apart. But, he isn’t here anymore Iruka. And I am.”
“I think I need to be left alone for awhile,” Iruka murmured softly. He wanted to give; more than anything else, he wanted to close his eyes and let Kakashi heal him. Kakashi who was so very handsome and strong and completely the opposite of what Iruka was. But his heart hurt and he was afraid of what it would mean to give himself over to another man.
“Will you allow me to stay beside you than? As nothing more than a friend though,” Kakashi answered. “For too long you’ve taken care of everyone else. Let me care for you. And trust how I care for Naruto.”
”Don’t hurt him. Don’t hurt me,” Iruka whispered softly. He closed his chocolate eyes and couldn’t stop the flood of hot tears that escaped.
“Iruka,” Kakashi sighed, pulling the younger, distraught man to his chest. He closed his eyes and put Iruka’s ear over his heart, allowing the teacher to hear it’s calm, steady beat. “I’ll never hurt you. I’ll never hurt Naruto. I won’t hurt anyone, unless they are fighting against me. But I won’t hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
With Iruka comfortably snuggled against his chest, Kakashi tried to stop the tears that were pricking at his eyes. The smaller man was trembling, weeping against Kakashi’s chest, clinging desperately to the jounin. He shuddered and inhaled shakily.
“I… I loved him,” he whimpered, tightening his hold on the other. “I loved him. He made me love him.”
“Its going to be okay. It hurts, I know that it hurts. But it will get better. I’ll help you move his stuff out and I’ll help you find a new, smaller place. You can’t stay here. It isn’t healthy. You won’t be able to move on if you stay here. I’ll make sure you’re taken care of Iruka, especially well until you’ve finished healing.”
“Why?” Iruka whimpered. He snuggled against the other, letting him hold him while he cried. He was broken. There was nothing else to be done. He was completely broken. Kakashi hated that there was nothing he could do, just yet. Once Iruka had gotten over the initial sting of the betrayal, Kakashi would be able to step in and lay claim to the chuunin. Until then, Kakashi would be the friend that Iruka needed, not the lover he wanted to be. “Why?” he pleaded softly, repeating it over and over in his tear-choked voice.
“I wish I could explain it to you,” Kakashi murmured. “I really do.”
Iruka was happy with Kakashi. Had been since he’d stepped up to help get over the pain of betrayal from Mizuki. He had waited until Iruka felt he was ready to attempt another relationship. And their relationship, nearly two years in the making, was mutually filled with love and all the respect he could ever hope for.
Closing his eyes against the onslaught of memories, Iruka allowed his mind to wander back to the differences between how they made love. Mizuki was often rough, seeking the carnal pleasure and almost always pleasing Iruka as an afterthought. Kakashi always sought completion for Iruka before seeking his own. He never tried to finish first, and always made sex a pleasurable, desirable, longed for experience. Whenever Kakashi approached him for sex, Iruka willingly gave in to the silver-haired jounin. With Mizuki, he’d fought tooth and nail, unwilling to be forcefully taken, unwilling to say no. He enjoyed it because he got off, but he had to fight because Mizuki was painful in his actions. He pounded and wanted Iruka to claw and fight and struggle and bite.
Iruka shifted in Kakashi’s powerful arms, grateful that the jounin was his lover; that the jounin wanted to stay with him, even though he was used, broken, weaker and much less confident in all that he did. He was timid and often afraid. Kakashi was bold and hardly ever frightened. Iruka only truly stepped up to fight when his friends or family were threatened. Kakashi was willing to step up and fight for whatever reason. That was why Iruka taught and Kakashi completed missions.
“Dolphin,” Kakashi murmured softly in his ear, pulling his lover against him. That was another thing Iruka loved about Kakashi. He always called him some kind of pet name, unless they were talking seriously. To Iruka’s surprise, the jounin had taken it upon himself to interpret Iruka’s name in the harsh language of the west and decided that it would be his nickname. Iruka loved the way the foreign word sounded in Kakashi’s deep voice. To make it fair, Kakashi had determined his own name’s translation and encouraged Iruka to call him that; ‘Scarecrow.’
“Yes?” Iruka asked softly, twisting in his lover’s arms to face the masked face. He snuggled into Kakashi’s neck, smiling as the jounin shifted to hold him closer.
“You’ve been shifting too much,” Kakashi mumbled, his lips dancing on the chuunin’s temple.
“Have I?” Iruka smiled and arched against Kakashi, rolling his body suggestively against Kakashi’s.
The jounin groaned appreciatively and rolled to straddle his younger, receptive lover. The mask fell to his neck, exposing his handsome face to Iruka’s chocolate eyes. With skill Iruka completely appreciated and depended on, Kakashi kissed his way tenderly, teasingly down Iruka’s body. The best thing about his secretive, seductive, sexual lover was that they often slept naked. Often fell into bed exhausted, naked and completely sated. Until Kakashi woke up, horny and wanting more. And Iruka was always eager to please, and ready to give just what Kakashi wanted from him.
When Kakashi’s hand slid down his body, Iruka didn’t stop him. In fact, using his body, he encouraged his lover to move, to take them through the motions that would bring them so much satisfaction; that would bring them closer to one another than they had been previously. Iruka loved when Kakashi moved through him, moved over him, within him. He loved when they were joined, when they were one.
Kakashi never ceased to amaze him. Every time they made love, every time they did anything, it was as amazing s the first time they’d ever done anything. He wanted nothing more than to live in the moments when Kakashi touched him. He wanted to stay with Kakashi when he kissed him, when he held him, when he made him lose all sense of himself and all signs that he was calm. And now, Iruka needed Kakashi’s distracting more than anything.
“What’s the matter Iruka?” Mizuki’s voice asked softly, teasing as he breathed hotly in Iruka’s ear.
“Le-let me go,” Iruka stuttered softly, fighting desperately to get out of his former lover’s arms. “Let me go please.”
“What, haven’t you missed me?” Mizuki teased, sliding his tongue up Iruka’s exposed neck.
“No. No I haven’t. You tried to betray us,” Iruka answered softly, a little more confidence dancing in his voice.
“I didn’t betray you, Iruka. I never betrayed you, but I know you’ve betrayed me. Weren’t you the one who talked about the unity that we all have to share? You’ve been uniting with others, haven’t you Iruka-chan?” Mizuki asked mockingly.
“He’s my lover now. Not you.”
“You’re a whore. I only tried you to break you,” Mizuki murmured, nibbling at Iruka’s shoulder.
“Let him go!” Kakashi’s voice echoed in the quiet of the clearing.
“Oh look Iruka-chan. Your knight in shining armor comes to your rescue,” Mizuki laughed. He tightened his grip on Iruka and waited for Kakashi’s slender form to appear.
“Let him go, now,” Kakashi growled, standing across the clearing, his single showing eye narrowed in anger. In his hand he clutched a single kunai.
“And if I don’t?” Mizuki asked angrily.
“I’ll kill you,” Kakashi answered shortly. He didn’t smile and his usually calm persona was heavy with the killing intent in his chakra. He didn’t stop until he was inches before his Iruka, his lover. With a whispered, “Wait,” Kakashi let loose his kunai, thrusting into Mizuki’s unsuspecting neck.
Iruka jerked as Mizuki’s body twitched, pulling him backwards as the dead weight fell. He let loose a tearful gasp and couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down his tanned cheeks. He waited for the fall to come, for the thump that proved he’d landed on the ground atop Mizuki’s dead body but it never came. Instead, his right wrist was caught in the powerful grasp of his silver-haired lover.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered, pulling the other possessively to him. Kakashi could see the fear, the pain, the hurt that danced in his dark eyes as he was pulled into Kakashi’s strong embrace.
“Ka-Kakashi,” he gasped as he clung weakly to the jounin.
“Come on, let’s go home,” Kakashi whispered, wrapping an arm around the chuunin’s shoulder and directing him on the path home. He couldn’t make the pain go away, but he could certainly help make it less. He could distract and he could make him forget, if only for a short time.
“Na-naruto,” he whimpered, trying desperately not to have this breakdown.
“I’ve already taken care of him.”
“Why?” Iruka begged softly, one hand fisted in the vest from behind, one tangled in the front. Kakashi walked the chuunin home and wished he could answer.
Lying sated in their shared bed, Iruka found he could no longer hold the tears back. Nothing had ever comforted him like Kakashi’s gentle touches. Never had he been so well treated, never had he been so lovingly handled, never had he been so loved. Kakashi’s hands were gentle, though he was a powerful man.
“Oi, Scarecrow,” Iruka murmured sleepily.
“I love you.” His only response was a sleepily murmured grunting before the warm arms surrounded him, holding him closer than before. He was wrapped in the arms of his jounin boyfriend, content and relaxed and ready to drift back into sleep. The steady rise and fall of Kakashi’s chest lulled him peacefully into a world of dreams, a world of dreams that allowed him to forget the pain that hurt him; the pain that danced through his heart and his mind. Wrapped in the arms of his jounin boyfriend, he allowed himself to find peace.
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