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Sayōnara, Akio (さようならアキオ) by becarei

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Chapter notes: Italic: Thoughts or memories

Bold: Something highlighted or outstanding of text

" ": Speech

. . .:Change of space, time or story side



Enjoy your reading!
"The next time I come, I'll be at the field. Wait for me there!!"

And you never came...


. . .


I never fit in. I thought I never would. And I trusted that thought for a long time.

I lived by Konoha, in the Land of Fire, where ninja and justice ruled.
I wasn't living in the town nor in center of it. I was living at a land-side full of fields and deserted space. Not much people were living here. They were or poor or expatriated from the town.
I lived a lonely life with my mother and a dog in a small village house, where word "CLEAN" didn't exist. In this case, we were poor.

I was educated at the nearest school that existed in my deserted land: land school.
It's was a simple room where a bunch of kids from field came to learn some basics of life (write, read, etc.). It was basically a safe route for poor families to get their kids educated so they can go to work in town.


I hated land school. Not just because it was the proof I was poor, but also, because I hated the fact I didn't fit in anywhere, and that I was hated there too.

Other kids from land school used to treat me with no respect, no fairness, no concern, no feeling of guilt. I would be bullied or avoided. Why?

I was weird, and I accepted it myself.


I had some sort of a, let's say, natural power.
The power was about some anti-gravity-mental ability I didn't understand: I could move, kick, damage objects or people without even touching.
If I did or didn't activate the power, it was just hard to control. For example, if I didn't know the power activated, I could carelessly kill somebody by just a bit faster movement of my hand.
My range of reaching objects/people was a few meters when I just discovered my weird ability. Now it passed over 10 meters.

It scared me, and it scared other, too.
It was just too much for me to even use it, it was a drama if I just tried to control it!!



Everybody, but everybody hated me:
my classmates, my mother, even my dog, my neighbours, my teacher, my everything...
The life when everybody is scared or you and are afraid that you'll use your unwanted ability against them, even though you're not a bad person (not mentioning trying to get along with you), made no sense to me.


. . .


I decided to kill myself, on a twilight of a young night, in the quiet fields where nobody is to interrupt me or to stop me.
I though secretly, would anybody actually come to stop me?

I didn't question myself all night, I just wanted to finish the last line in this world. I prayed:

"If there's anything else in this world I should take care about, then God, please, please, stop me..." I was murmuring in the wave of tears.
I tried to pull over the knife I brought with myself a little bit closer to my guts, but I couldn't touch it. My hand didn't let me...

"I wonder.. Does it hurt... Will it hurt... Will it go by fast..? Or will I have to suffer.!? I don't know anymore..!" I finally understood:

I wasn't ready to sacrifice myself for the sake of others.

That much of a coward I was.


I bursted in tears in the middle of no where, asking and screaming myself why is this happening???

"When did I became such a coward!? What am I afraid of if I die!?? Why can't I just DISAPPEAR???"

"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? UWAAAAAAH"

I grabbed the knife finally pointing at me.
I was angry, I was mad, I didn't care anymore, I just wanted for this shit to be over already.


. . .


"DON'T!!!!!"

In a moment of two, I was thinking if I was already dead, I couldn't possibly move.
I just kept asking on myself:
Who's this person behind me?



"Don't... Don't hurt yourself... It's... dangerous..." the person behind me said. It's was a man.

I turned behind to see his face. Pure innocent face.
A boy. A boy much older than me. Black haired boy with a gentle face in a green robe.
He was panting. I wondered myself if he dashed all over here.

Was he watching?

Since when..? I would notice him, the field was so small!!

Did he see?

Did he hear?


"Who..?" I tried to ask, but my voice broke apart. A moment or two and I'll burst into tears again.

"Pshhhh, don't cry don't cry!!!" The boy said nervously, still getting a hold of me, not loosening his grip.

"It's okay... You don't have to care of me... Go home..."

"I don't want to. I will feel guilty if I leave you alone. You might bring up something again."

"Just... LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

"Aren't you worried about your parents? What will your friends think??"

"THAT'S THE ACTUAL PROBLEM!"

"Huh-"

"I... I ... during all this time... I had no one. Not A SINGLE person, who would actually care for me, or for who would actually I care."

"I- I'm sorry I-"

"DO YOU KNOW THE DILEMMA OF BEING LONELY EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY AT FAULT? WHEN YOU ACTUALLY DON'T MEAN HARM, AND YOU STILL GET ACCUSED FOR IT, BUT THE ONE WHO ACTUALLY GETS HURT IN THE END IS YOU? DO YOU!??"

After all that screaming I finally realized what I just did.

I could feel the boy's stiff shoulders that I hold onto while screaming into his terrified face

I could feel my heart rip once again in my life as I slowly let go of his arms and push myself backwards, as far as possible from him.

I've never felt so embarrassed in my life.

I am such a horrible person...

Just when I though I'd burst in tears once again this wonderful night, I heard him say:

"I'm sorry..."

As I raised my head wondering why is he apologizing, he continued:

"I didn't know it was so hard for you up until now, it must have been horrible.And yes, I would probably be unable to sympathize with you, and I probably will never fell that way in my life, but I still want you to know that you aren't alone on this world, and you'll never be.
There will be bad guys involved, but good people too, I want you to know that.
I also want you to live trough that, so I want you to promise not to try this ever again, okay?
" he said pointing at the knife I've brought with me.

I nodded and somehow said "...okay..." without sobbing.

He brushed trough my short hair and smiled.

"Why don't we stay together forever? That way you'll never be alone."

"...We..?"

"Yes, we. From now on, WE will be together. I'll make your first friend, okay?"


My first friend.

Pure-hearted friend who will cherish my friendship, and who will not run away from me.

"U... UWAAAAAH!!! THANK YOOOUUUU...!! ~" I said and finally bursted in tears.

"There... There... No need to cry anymore..." The boy laughed, holding me so that I wouldn't fall over from so much of crying. I needed a shoulder to cry.


. . .


"Say, what's your name? I'm Akio!!"

"Akio..? That's a very nice name..!" I said

"Can I know your name, then?" he said smiling.

"M... Matsu!!" said to leave at least a bit of impact on my ugly name. "Hayashi Matsu!!!"

"-chan, that's a really suitable name for such a cute little girl!" He said.

C... Cute? He finds me cute?? I blushed at that one. Shoot, he saw it.

"Hahahahahaha!!"


. . .


At first, I though it was miserable, but it was real.

I l i k e d Akio.


Everyone (me) knew that, except Akio. He still thought of me as a little girl/little sister (what's the difference?).

I really cherished our friendship, it got me back on my legs and showed me that life isn't that bad if everyone avoids your for a stupid cold reasons, as long as there is still someone to support you.

Akio showed me there will be always someone to take care of me.
In this case, it was him, but he believed there will be hordes of other people who will do such thing.
I didn't trust him in that.


What was really special about him that he was a future ninja.
He was going five times a week to the town and spent full 6 hours there, training ninja skills and learning techniques and jutsu.
Because of that we have been seeing each other only on weekends, on a place where we first met: the field.

I already knew everything about ninja history and who ninja really were. I though that Akio is going to be the best one.

When I told him that, he just chuckled and brushed trough my hair, trying to hide his sad face.

The problem was, Akio was never suitable to be a real ninja, even though he was secretly going to Ninja academy.

Reason for that was his "part-time job".

Akio was stealing. A lot.

He had to though so he could feed his big family.

Akio was poor as well, but was still doing his best and always smiled.

Akio also taught me some basics in secret, because if villagers would know that he's secretly training ninjutsu, he would be kicked out of the street.

I really really wanted to be a ninja too. To be strong and confident like him. So I followed Akio in everything he was doing, like a puppy.
I wanted us to have interests, same things we like, to be the same category in population...


Akio was also handsome, and he also found me cute (because I was still little), and my love was really strong.

I had some more self confidence than before, so I held my hope up to reaching level when he will have same feeling back for me.

. . .

I really was looking forward to the day when I'll tell him my feelings, but the day came too fast. It was just an anniversary back from the day we met.


"Say, Matsu, do you have anyone, you know, special to yourself except me..?" Asked Akio carefully.

"No." I said "I like Akio-onii-chan the best!!"



To be continued...
Chapter end notes: What will be Akio's reaction on Matsu's confession..?
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