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The Baby Arrangement by spazzy

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Story notes: This is the only place in the entire story that I will say this, so please read carefully. I found this on my computer from about two years ago, so there are many things that will be off. I've since rewrote this chapter to fit my current style, but I've maintained much of the original content. As a result, there are events in here that do not coincide with canon, making this an Alternate Reality. This means some deaths are disregarded, and the village's treatment towards Naruto isn't exactly up to canon.

Furthermore, the story will be ShikaNaru, but not technically shounen-ai, yaoi, or MPreg. This is because Naruto will eventually be changed into a female. If you do not agree with this, then please turn back.

And, finally, this story was significantly inspired by The Odd Couple (5771670) by Twisted Vixen, which sadly isn't going to be continued (to my knowledge as of 6/24/12), and 9 Months (5779127) by Sombra112. Both stories can be found on FF.Net.

Without further ado, please read and review. I hope you like it!
Chapter 1 – On One Condition

“Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power.”

||ShikaNaru||


Naruto felt like he’d been sucker punched in the gut. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t hear. His blue eyes stared impassively at the maliciously grinning members of the civilian council. The only evidence of his shock was his now pale face. Their words rung in his head until they were little more than an annoying buzz. This…this couldn’t be happening.

“Are you serious?” he asked incredulously.

Tsunade clenched her fists, her face tight with anger. “Unfortunately not,” she spat. Her normally warm eyes were frosted over as she attempted to glare holes into several council members’ heads. Many of them averted their gaze, and some even flinched. Still, it wasn’t enough to deter them from their decision.

Naruto’s eyes narrowed. “I thought we already proved that my seal would remain strong when we destroyed the Akatsuki,” he said pointedly. “And without another organization to attempt to capture the bijuu, there isn’t any threat of the Kyuubi getting loose.”

“We don’t know that for sure,” a council member spoke up, her cruel smirk marring her otherwise attractive features. “It’s been twenty years since that seal was placed on you, and nothing can be contained for so long. It’s only a matter of time until something happens, and we can’t have someone like that become Hokage.”

Tsunade smacked her hand down on the table, causing tiny cracks to appear in the wood. “I believe Naruto here has proven to be one of the most loyal and capable shinobi that Konoha could have produced, especially given his shitty upbringing on your orders,” she hissed, fixing the civilian council with her glare. “And whilst my knowledge on seals isn’t as great as my late teammate’s, I can assure you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with Naruto’s seal.”

“You can’t know that for sure,” Utatane Koharu spoke up. Tsunade’s eye twitched violently; why, oh why, hadn’t that old bat croaked yet?

Nara Shikaku yawned before commenting lazily, “Jiraiya-sama’s knowledge in seals was only paralleled by his late student, our very own Yondaime, Namikaze Minato. How can you claim to have respected the man’s knowledge and skill as a shinobi yet fail to believe in the seal of his own design?”

“Namikaze-sama was truly a remarkable fuuinjutsu specialist,” Mitokado Homura admitted. “However, nothing was meant to last forever. Besides, only the Yondaime can possibly know how strong the seal would remain.”

Tsunade shook her head. “We still have Minato-kun’s notes on the seal, and have gone over them extensively. Unless someone forcibly removes the seal, the Kyuubi no Kitsune shall forever remain trapped within Naruto. You know this since we presented our findings years ago.”

The meeting had only been going on for barely an hour and already Tsunade was getting a headache. She had spent the past five years training Naruto to become a respectable ninja so he could finally surpass her and she could escape the hell that was paperwork. He’d been working so hard to reach his dream and now that it was within reach, the prejudiced old bats on the civilian council wanted to take it away. She would need more than her usual two bottles of sake later.

Hyuuga Hiashi nodded his head in understanding. “You must also take into account that Uzumaki here has had his seal checked every year by the late Sandaime accompanied by a Hyuuga. Hokage-sama here has continued to check the seal since her election into the position, again accompanied by a Hyuuga, and Uzumaki has always cooperated.” He activated his Byakugan and glanced almost lazily at Naruto’s stomach, making the blond feel a little exposed. “The fox’s chakra remains completely separate from Uzumaki’s and is in no danger of escaping. Now if you don’t mind, can we stop debating about the strength of the seal? This has been a reoccurring topic for the past twenty years with the same results and, frankly, I grow tired of it.”

Shikaku smirked as the civilian council fumed. “It is rather childish to be holding onto a twenty-year-old grudge against someone that had nothing to do it.”

“We have every reason to be concerned, Nara-san,” Koharu sniffed. “It would do no good for Uzumaki here to become Hokage only to release the Kyuubi no Kitsune and have Konoha perish.”

“You raise a valid point,” Aburame Shibi commented. “The fact remains that this point has continuously been disproven over the span of two decades. Uzumaki-san himself is a fuuinjutsu specialist and knows better than anyone how the seal is doing.”

When several people glanced at him, Naruto spoke up. “The seal doesn’t seem to be weakening even the slightest.”

“And we’re to take your word on it?” an unknown man sneered.

“And I suppose you’re a fuuinjutsu specialist?” Naruto retorted sarcastically. Tsunade glanced at him sharply, but he could see the amusement in her eyes.

“That’s enough,” Tsunade stated before anyone could remark any further. She stared at the council members. “I have not changed my mind. Naruto will be my successor and the Rokudaime Hokage. If anyone has legitimate objections, speak of them now.”

Shikaku yawned once more. “No objections from me, Hokage-sama.” His eyes drooped down ever-so-slightly.

A civilian councilwoman stood and spat, “I’d sooner die than have that demon become Hokage.”

He’d heard such vile insults all his life, and this time was no different. He should’ve expected the civilian council to never allow him to fulfill his dream. He knew becoming Hokage would be an uphill battle with no reprieve. He knew, so why did that abrupt realization hurt so much?

“You will do well to watch your mouth,” Tsunade said very quietly, her chakra slightly spiking in her anger. “The way I see it, the only demons in this room are the ones that blamed an innocent baby for crimes not his own. If most of the village can see that Naruto is not the Kyuubi nor has any intention of setting the fox free, why can’t the rest of you?”

The councilwoman flinched slightly, but jutted her chin out and kept her stubborn defiance. It was somewhat nullified by the undeniable fear and slight hesitation in her eyes. “I do not know how this thing has convinced everyone else otherwise, but I was there when the fox attacked. That kind of malevolent evil doesn’t just remain dormant for long. It will eventually bring about the ruin of Konoha. Just having it become a ninja was bad enough, but to actually allow it to advance further than the current rank of jounin? You ask for too much, Hokage-sama.”

Naruto clenched his fists tightly at the woman’s harsh words, but remained silent. He could see an inkling of truth underneath her prejudice tone. A malevolent being like the Kyuubi does not just go away, nor does it ever really remain dormant. However, Naruto had fought enough with the fox to develop a (barely) decent arrangement. Meaning, the Kyuubi stopped trying to take over Naruto’s body and only gave chakra when it was absolutely necessary.

Shikaku hummed thoughtfully. “You do raise a valid point,” he admitted. “Nothing so evil can really be contained for long. However, I also believe that Uzumaki here has enough control to not only maintain control of his body, but actually seek help in the event that the fox tries anything unsavory.”

Tsunade sighed, very much annoyed. “Naruto has proven his loyalty to Konoha through and through. He would sooner kill himself than let the fox do anything to hurt the village.”

“Now there’s an idea…” a man muttered not-so-quietly.

Tsunade glared fiercely at him, killing intent leaking from her. “Do you really wish to entertain the idea of murder in my office?” she asked quietly.

The man shook his head, shivering. “N-No, H-Hokage-s-sama,” he stuttered.

Akimichi Chouza frowned. “This is getting us nowhere,” he said, gaining everyone’s attention. “It seems like this issue will be continuously debated, no matter the evidence supported and the accusations refuted. We need to come up with some sort of compromise. Quite frankly, I believe Uzumaki-san over here will make a good leader. With Hokage-sama’s training and his own skills as a shinobi, I still don’t see why we’re still arguing over his status as a jinchuuriki. The Kazekage, Sabaku no Gaara, was also a jinchuuriki, as many of you may recall, and he became one of the finest Kazekages Suna has ever produced.”

Shikaku smirked. “Compromise, huh? I like your thinking, Chouza. Then we can end this troublesome meeting.”

Tsunade nodded her head in agreement. “A compromise, then.”

Homura and Koharu exchanged glances. “Could we have a moment to discuss what would make us more comfortable with the de—Uzumaki becoming Hokage?”

Tsunade’s eyes narrowed at the intentional slip, but nodded her head. The civilian council gathered themselves and quietly left, speaking in hushed tones that even Inuzuka Tsume had trouble picking up. During that time, Naruto felt a bead of cold sweat trickle down his back. They were up to something. There was no way they were just going to come up with a compromise. Most likely, they would come up with something impossible. Glancing at Tsunade, he realized she was thinking something along the same lines.

When the council returned, a satisfactory air hanging around them, Naruto and several others were instantly on edge. The blond tensed and waited for Homura to speak.

“We believe that at this point in time, many of us are wary of Uzumaki given his past nature. Loud, brash, immature—all traits unbefitting of a Hokage. Therefore, we ask that Uzumaki prove his growth as a ninja. We ask that he show us he has what it takes, and is worthy of our respect and loyalty.”

Tsunade’s eyebrows rose. “That’s it?” she asked, suspicion and incredulousness coloring her voice. “What do you require of him exactly?”

Koharu spoke up now, a spark of glee in her eyes. “Being Hokage is much like parenting, yes? You feel as if you are being pulled in all sorts of directions, you need to overcome obstacles. It’s a difficult, demanding job. We propose that Uzumaki has a child. Hopefully, having an heir will prove his growth as a human being and show that he has what it takes to perform in such a position. He will have to raise his heir as well as keep up with Hokage training.”

The silence in the room was palpable.

“Are you kidding me?” Naruto blurted out, his eyes very wide and his face pale.

Koharu almost sneered, but Tsunade’s glare changed her mind. “Many of the Hokages have had children, with the exception of Yondaime-sama and Godaime-sama.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Tsume barked. “You think Uzumaki is a demon, yet you want him to spawn children in order to take on the Hokage position?”

Tsunade narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. “That’s the question, isn’t it?” she murmured. “Why make such a concession as to allow Naruto to spawn children when you don’t want him in such a position of power?”

Homura sniffed disdainfully. “Our reasons do not matter. If Uzumaki wishes to become Hokage, we will allow it if he has an heir of his own blood. That is our decision. It’s not too much to ask for, is it?” His eyes twinkled unpleasantly.

“That’s the problem,” claimed a now wide-awake Shikaku. “You were extremely adamant that Naruto here doesn’t become Hokage, and now you give in so easily?” His eyes sharply observed their smug forms.

“Well, if the de—Uzumaki won’t agree to the terms,” a civilian councilman began.

“Can I have time to decide?” Naruto interrupted, staring at the floor and clenching his fist so tight his blunt nails were starting to cut into his hand.

The civilian council looked at each other smugly, as if they’d expected this very reaction, before Koharu said, “A week. We’ll give you one week to make a decision.”

Naruto nodded his head and directed his gaze out of the window.

Homura stood, as did the rest of the civilian council. “Hokage-sama,” he murmured, bowing. His lips were tugged in a smug smirk as he nodded his goodbyes and left.

When the civilian council finally filtered out of the room, Tsunade grimly announced, “They’re up to something.”

“Of course they are,” Tsume scoffed. “They wouldn’t have given in so easily otherwise.”

“But the question is, what are they up to?” Hiashi narrowed his eyes in thought. While Uzumaki wasn’t exactly his first choice to be Hokage, he couldn’t dispute with Tsunade that he was a pretty good choice. With experience, he was sure the blond would become most formidable. He did not, however, appreciate the civilian council’s plans, whatever they were, as they were sure to produce more trouble than the civilian members of the council were worth.

“It’s not like they were ever going to agree with my becoming Hokage,” Naruto said suddenly, still looking out the window.

Tsunade frowned. “What do you mean, Naruto?” she asked, slightly worried. It almost sounded like he was giving up, but that couldn’t be. Naruto never gave up.

Naruto finally directed his gaze at the Hokage. “You don’t think Jiji got me into the Academy without a fight, do you?”

Tsunade froze; the thought had never really crossed her mind. “How did…?”

Naruto sighed softly, a sad smile tugging at his lips. “It took a lot of convincing,” he said. “They didn’t want the demon to be taught how to fight, or kill. After months of arguing and whatnot, Jiji finally was able to get me into the Academy, but at a price.”

Shikaku narrowed his eyes. “What price, and why weren’t we informed of this?”

“I was still a civilian when the agreement was made, so the ninja council didn’t need to be informed,” Naruto said. “And the price? The seal was still thought to be unstable. In order for me to be a ninja, I was to have monthly seal check-ups for two years as well as monthly psych evaluations. I was also forbidden from having romantic and sexual encounters with any girl in the village.”

“WHAT?!” Tsunade roared, standing up in outrage. “Why would Sarutobi agree to that idiocy?!”

“He always did give the civilian council more power than they deserved,” Hiashi spat, not furious on behalf of Naruto, but rather upset that the council overstepped their bounds.

“But that agreement should be overruled due to your current ninja status,” Tsume argued.

Naruto shrugged. “Jiji didn’t tell me much, but after years of thought I got the impression that they worded it in such a way that only they can overrule the agreement.”

“That’s just ridiculous,” Shikaku stated flatly. “They don’t have the jurisdiction to dictate your life in such a matter now that you’re a ninja. And besides, you’ve had romantic relations before.”

“As my crush was never returned, not really, no,” Naruto admitted, blushing slightly as the thought of Sakura came into his head. He knew they’d never go out, even if that stupid agreement never happened, and was happy being good friends and teammates with the pinkette. Still, she’d always be one of the prettiest girls he’d ever laid eyes on.

“Where is this agreement?” Tsunade demanded. “Did Sarutobi ever tell you? I’ve never seen anything that stated such nonsense.” And she should have seen it. All agreements were written and given the Hokage seal to ensure authenticity, so a paper of such importance should have been given to her as the next Hokage.

Naruto shook his head. “I was six at the time. Whatever he did explain to me, I didn’t really understand until I got older.”

“Naruto, why would you agree to such a thing?” Tsunade asked, her eyes softening as she gazed at the young man that wormed his way into her heart.

“I was six,” Naruto repeated. “Why would I give having a family much thought? I just wanted to be a ninja.” He sighed and ran his hand through his golden locks. “Jiji did tell me, however, that after the Chunin Exam he was going to fight them over it again. But, well, he never did get the chance to…”

The room was filled with a solemn silence.

“Well,” Shibi said, “now we know why they gave in so easily.” When he had their undivided attention, he continued, “It’s a win-win scenario for them. Naruto says no, he doesn’t become Hokage. Naruto says yes, he still can’t become Hokage. Not unless we can figure out how to work our way around their ridiculous agreement, if not get rid of it altogether.”

Tsunade barely held onto her scream of frustration. “Okay, okay. We’ll figure this out,” she said quietly. She took a deep breath and turned to Naruto. “You’re going to be Hokage, Naruto. I’ll make sure of it.”

Naruto smiled a little weakly at her. He wasn’t too sure what Tsunade could do for him, but he knew better than to underestimate her. She was the Hokage, after all, and she’d take on the council if it meant helping him with his dream; she said so many times before. Spirit renewed, Naruto nodded his head and grinned broadly. “How’re we gonna do this?”

Tsunade smiled chillingly. “We need to find that agreement. Pronto.”
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