He still believed in fate. He might never stop. But he once confided in me that it was fated that he met Naruto, and he was fated to change his views. It was fated that Sasuke left the village, and that Naruto would rather die young trying to get him back, than die old and never had tried. I would feel a little sad when he talked about fate, because he never mentioned me. He never said it was fated that we would meet. But I knew better that to worry too much over it. He might be able to talk to me about a lot of things, but his feelings were not one of those things.
And that was fine with me.
He could believe in fate all he wants. I don’t care. He knows I don’t believe in fate, I never had. But that was never an issue. I let him believe whatever he wants, and he lets me believe whatever I want.
I believed in freedom of choice.
I don’t have to stay with him. I don’t have to train with him. I don’t have to sit and talk with him. I don’t have to share a quiet moment with him. I choose to. I want to. I can only hope he wants to do all those things as well and that he doesn’t feel forced by fate to do those things. Forced to be with me.
I also choose to let my feelings be known. I never hid them from him, but I also didn’t flaunt them. Subtly was never lost on him. I can still remember the strange looks he used to give me when I would touch his arm softly for no reason, or when I would linger near him just to be near. The looks eventually changed from strange to welcoming. After that he would slowly return my touches. Although everything was extremely slow, I didn’t mind because that was the pace we choose.
Our first kiss was so soft and enduring. I was at home sharpening my weapons when he came over. He wanted to train, but he didn’t rush me to hurry. He knew how important it was for me to take good care of my weapons. Instead he sat down and helped me. We didn’t speak much. We didn’t need to. When we were done I smiled at him and thanked him. He surprised me by touching my cheek. Although I had felt his hand before, I felt like he was touching me for the first time. I found myself pressing into his hand. It was warmer and softer than I remembered. I wrapped my hand around his forearm and pulled him closer. He in return pulled my face closer. We didn’t stop until our lips touched. Kissing him was even better then I ever dreamed.
From then on, to the public we were still teammates who were still discovering each other. In private we were becoming more physical. The first time I saw him without his forehead wrappings, I kissed the seal there. The first time I saw him without his shirt I cried. I could see the scars to the two wounds he received as a genin that almost killed him. Upon seeing my tears he put my hand over the scar on his shoulder.
“Do you feel that? It’s healed and I’m fine.”
“But you almost died.” I almost lost you.
“It wasn’t my time to die. Fate had other plans for me.”
“Does it still hurt?”
“Not when you touch it.”
I will never forget that. It was one of the few times he was ever remotely emotional and vulnerable with me. He was only that way with me.
It wasn’t until we were jounins and well into our careers that we took the final step in our physical relationship. He was going off on a very long and dangerous mission. I wasn’t. Even though he didn’t say so, I knew he feared he might not be coming home. When he kissed me I felt his need to feel alive. He needed to feel.
Who am I to deny him that right?
I might never see him again, and that hurt more than anything. To not be able to see him pale skin, or feel his black silky hair. To not be able to see his eyes. Eyes that showed more emotion in them then I think he knew. To feel his hands. Hands that can kill with one simple touch, and yet with one simple touch he could melt me.
As he covered my neck and shoulders with kisses I had to fight back tears. I would not cry. I would not ruin this moment for him. With tenderness I didn’t know he possessed, he lowered me to the bed. I was surprised at how much I trusted him. He would not hurt me; I knew this now. That was my last thought has I felt him all around me. He was inside me, in my blood, my soul. His taste was on my lips, his heat on my skin. It burned me, but was soothing all at once.
It was heaven and hell, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Afterward he collapsed on top of me. But I welcomed his weight. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders I felt safe. I was safe here, with him.
“I want to be no where else but here with you.”
Want. He wanted to be here with me. He wants to be here with me. I wanted him, at that very moment, to know what he said made me feel. What he always made me feel.
“I love you Neji.”
The look on his face was so stunning. He opened his mouth to say the words back, but he couldn’t. But his eyes told me. His eyes tell me everything I ever wanted to hear.
“TenTen……I…”
I silenced him with a kiss. He wasn’t supposed to be emotional. I liked his silence. His silence said more than words could. I knew this. I loved his silence. It was who he was, and I didn’t want him any other way.
The next day he left. I prayed he would come back to me. I wanted him to come back to me. But I knew all the want in the world wasn’t going to bring him home. Fate would bring him home. I almost laughed at the thought.
Maybe believing in fate wasn’t so bad.
[Reviews - 3]
Table of Contents
- Text Size +
Chapter notes: Disclaimer: Don’t own Naruto. I know, it’s sad.
Spoilers: None
Pairings: Neji/TenTen
Rating: PG-13
I really don’t know where this came from. I was sitting in class when it hit me, and it wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote it down. So here it is.