Once upon a time there was a umm... Person who... Did something and stuff happened. The end.

Oh, you actually wanted the deatils huh? Well, let's see now... Who was it that did that thing again? Oh yeah, the kid's name was Naruto. He had piercing blue eyes that looked like the ocean, well... Not really, the ocean's kinda green and foamy depending on where you are. what else can I compare it to? The sky? No, that has smog and birds flying around in it... Ummm... Windex! Yeah, his eyes were the color of Windex. And he was blonde. Not much to really say about that.

Naruto was a loud brat, no one knows for sure if his mouth ever had an off button but at the same time when he was quiet something just didn't feel right. So it was one of those situations that some would say 'can't have your cake and eat it to' whatever that means. One thing about that blonde idiot was...you could always depend on him, he was there for his friends no matter what and that is where his troubles started.

Yeah, this is the start of that something... Which caused that stuff to happen. And it all had to do with a simple school trip, one that had been taken almost every year. It was the annual trip to the Zoo! Yay! Animals! Lions and tigers and bears... Oh my! Wait... Wrong story... Heh. Let's get back on track, shall we?

"Ya think they got Ligers at the zoo this year?" Naruto asked as he bounced in his seat on the yellow school bus. Now, I would make a comment about that and insult the boy's intelligence at the same time, but... I don't really have to.

"Liger?" The boy sitting behind Naruto asked. His name was Sai, a social reject who had a fondness for exposing himself in public. Sure it was usually just his stomach, but you can never tell with some people just how far their clothes are going to go down.

The blond-thinks-he-knows-it-all snorted as he leaned back in the cool green seat that always seemed like it wanted to suck your skin in if you ever were dumb enough to wear shorts. "Man if you don't know about them, you just ain't awesome and I don't have to explain it to you. Its something only bombtastic people can know about." The socially retarded boy's eyebrow rose in mild curiousity.

"You're so troublesome." Yet another boy sighed as he lifted his head from the glass window. Yes, it was glass. Not plastic, glass. Hah. Anyway, this kid's name was Shikamaru. Complete genius who hardly ever lifted a finger, even if it would do him some good. All he really did was sleep and... Yeah, that's about all he did. "Liger's are a mix between a tiger and a lion."

"That means a tiger fu-"

"UZUMAKI! Watch the language!"

The blond grumbled from his seat as he sunk down farther, mumbling the curse words low enough to where no one but himself and the teen sitting next to him could hear. Windex colored eyes snapped to the side then suddenly exploded with happiness and joy and all that good stuff as his arms shot up and a cheerful cry escaped his lips as he spotted a sign for the zoo.

-WHACK- was the sound that soon echoed through the metal deathbox on wheels, the brat's face quickly drained of all emotion. Slowly his eyes slid shut as a nervous smile etched his lips and a sheepish chuckle vibrated through his throat as he turned. He rubbed the back of his neck while his mouth opened. "Eh...sorry Neji...I was just a little over excited I guess...hehe."

Neji didn't say anything. He just simply shook his head as he closed his eyes. He could feel a migrane coming on due to the loud mouth he had some how ended up sitting next to. Now, that's really not fair of me. The kid isn't always pissy, no that would be the duckbutt sitting next to the fat kid. No, Neji is... Complicated.

"Tch, Naruto...that sign was to tell us the zoo is 50 miles away." the lazy brunette sighed, his eyes still shut and his feet drapped over the sit in front of him...the reason Chouji was sitting next to the Uchiha just so Shika could fully relax...yeah Shikamaru owned him BIG time. Naruto fell face first into the back of the seat in front of him, not such a good idea on a school bus. Suddenly the bus came to a grinding hault...for no real reason.

And that was because the bus driver had no other way to stimulate the bordum that had built up in him. Normally the white-haired man would have tried to take a peek up a few skirts, but being the bus driver for an all boys school, that prevented his usual form of fun. even though there were a few boys who could pass for girls, well if you just put them in a skirt and threw a little eyeshadow or lip gloss on them.

After the out-cries of frustration and pain that obviously happened, the bus started going again. Not at it's normal full speed, but atleast it was going. Just part of the bus drivers devious plan to entertain himself as they inched closer and closer to the zoo.

The boys started to sigh all throughout the bus, some 'colorful' words being shouted at the man as their teacher stood up from his seat and stomped up to the man. All the boys in the bus went silent quickly once they saw the small tinge of red burning across Mr. Umino's cheeks and the bridge of his nose, they all knew that face from the handful of times someone was actually ballsy enough to piss the man off. After being in a bus full of obnoxious, fidgeting teenagers for four hours in a stuffy metal box while the other "teachers" just reclined in the seats and fell asleep leaving all the work to him then being subjected to the whims of a perverted bus driver its pretty safe to say that even the best of us would snap.

Now, here's where the nice fluffy teacher and I differ... I would have smacked the pervert upside the head and slammed my own foot on the gas pedal. Sure, not really that safe, but atleast we'd get somewhere. Iruka however, likes to talk things over before using violence. Typical uke...

"Why on Earth are we only going twenty? It's a fifty zone, if we're late I swear..."

"You swear what?" The old pervert asked with a curious smirk on his face as he looked away from the road and at the teacher. Iruka did a double take as he had never been called out on that bluff before, truth was, he didn't know what he'd do if the bus didn't pick up speed soon.

"You do know that the all girls' school is going to be at the zoo today, don't you?" A gruff voice asked from behind the driver and flustered teacher. "The sooner we get there, the longer you can oggle at them Jiraiya."

Without a moment's hesitation, the old perv stomped on the gas pedal and the bus went zooming down the road. Iruka however, went flying backwards and spent the next few minutes trying to regain his breath as he looked at the roof and rubbed the pain from his bum.

Typical Asuma tactic, bribe someone to get what you want then go back to sleep. When Iruka finally got to his feet he glared with a glare that was worthy of Uchiha glare infamy right at the back of Jiraiya's head.

When the teachers finally settled down again the boys turned to each other all with almost the same expression...I say almost because some of the boys just aren't capable of showing the same emotions as "normal" people. "All girls school?!" a few muttered in disbelief in a chorus that echoed through the bus like a death sentence.

All knew the fate of one who came into contact with girls, they all had fan clubs. A plan had to be made and fast, they only had about fourty five miles left between them and certain death!

"What the hell are we going to do?" Naruto asked, looking around the bus. He was way to paniced to think of anything and from the looks of the others, they didn't have a clue either. The only one who actually could come up with a plan, looked as if he didn't care as he just sat there with his hands in his lap as he blankly stared at the back of the seat infront of him.

"The zoo is a rather large place. Maybe we won't run into any of those hags." Sai said softly, as if he was wishing that it could be true. The other boys just shot him an evil glare. "What?"

"You're a loser." The pissy duckbutt replied. "If they know that we're coming, they will hunt us down. Every last one of us."

"We do have a secret weapon." Shikamaru simply started as he pointed to the tiny little fluff of red hair that barely peeked over the top of the bus seat. "Gaara."

All the teens stared at Shika like he was a drunken noblemen hitting on their youngest daughter who was pregnant with said man's brother's best friend's baby with a bloody knife in his arm. "What the hell good will he do us?" The littlest Uchiha sneered from in front of the Nara, never bothering to turn around like the stuck up bastard he was.

"Chi, if you can't figure it out on your own then good luck Uchiha...I'm sure you'll be the first they go for." Sasuke's back stiffened. Shikamaru sighed and shut his eyes once more to fall back to a peaceful sleep even as the rest of the teens started to argue amongst themself about how to get out of their little problem...trying to think of what kinda solution Gaara was.

"I know Gaara has a temper but... How does that work for us?" The fat kid, Chouji asked.

"I say we just throw him infront of us if we get cornered and run." A sassy little brunette named Kiba nodded. "Who cares if some of them get killed if he get's out of control, at least we'll be safe."

And that's why prissy duckbutts should keep their mouth's shut. Because if the smart one of the group decides not to let the idiots in on how to solve a problem... The idiots come up with their own even dumber then they are solution.

"YEAH! Thats a great idea Kiba! Man you sure are a genius, heheh." the blond chirped as he relaxed back into his seat as if all the problems had been solved. "Gaara'd do anything for us so we don't have to worry, and he can protect himself. A little molestion will be good for'em!"

Kiba's face split into a grin as he gave a Rock Lee thumbs up.

After skidding into the parking lot, the old perv opened the door and jumped out. Not even bothering to wait around to close the doors after the kids were all gone. We all know why, so I'm not even gonna say why he dissapeared while giggling like a kid in a candy factory.

The kids inside the bus all looked at one another as they exited one by one until every last one of the little brats were off the bus.

"Okay, I forgot to mention this earlier but..." The pirate wannabe teacher named Kakashi said as he adjusted the doctor's mask on his face. He was wearing it because of his allergies and also wore the eyepatch cause... He could I guess, hell if I know the real reason. "You'll all be sperated into groups of four and will be accompanied by a teacher for this little zoo adventure."

The teens all snorted as they all exchanged the same look and a scoff, yeah four groups their ass. This was just a way of teachers saying they were only resposible for the certain four in their group and any other kids were shit out of luck if anything happened to them. Oh how safe one felt while out on a school trip with only one responsible adult, Iruka. Quickly everyone exitted the bus to gathered in their four man teams, once inside their groups they would join back together inside the zoo, but before be warned by their "leaders" not to do anything stupid.

Naruto linked arms with Neji, giving a saucy wink as he bumped their hips together. Soon after he dragged his reluctant companion over to Kiba and Gaara to complete his team.

Blinking, Iruka scratched the brim of his nose as he looked at the various groups that had just assembled before his eyes. He looked down at the clipboard, looking over the pre-made list of groups and sighed. He should have known better then to have already made he groups, the boys were going to do what they wanted anyway.

Shaking his head, he and the other teachers huddled and did a few quick games of rock-paper-scissors to see who got what group.

Kakashi got the team of Sai, Chouji, Shikamaru and Kankuro.
Asuma: Sasuke, Rock Lee, Shino and Haku.
Iruka, got stuck with Naruto's little group. The poor man.

"I want to see if they have Ligers before anything else!" Naruto shouted as his group, led by the man who would be soon hitting himself for having poor rock-paper-scissor skills, entered the zoo.

"I want to see the panda exibit." Gaara growled as he crossed his arms and glared.

"Chi, this isn't a day to go see the animals that look most like us. If it was we'd see dingo's first." Naruto laughed while staring straight at Kiba. The brunette's brows lowered as a ferious growl etched the features of his face.

"Yeah, or the foxes...right Naruto." The blond made like he was about to lay the smack down on Kiba but was soon halted as a clip board came crashing on his head. The blond hunched down while whipping around halfway and glaring/pouting at Iruka.

As Iruka opened his mouth to scold the boys, the unwelcome sound of a fan-girl battle cry screached through the air. All the boys' eyes went wide as their heads turned towards where the cry had come from.

When they saw the group of skirts, all screaming their obnoxious mating call, all was chaos. Boys went running off in different directions, some grabbing their friends and pulling them along and others just leaving every man for himself. But one thing for each group was the same. The teachers were alone, forced to deal with the stampede that was heading straight for them.

The boys of Naruto's group along with Sasuke (the most experienced in dodging fangirls noticed that said group had found a good escape plan and followed) lefted at the entrance while the rest went straight or right, they crawlled along the wall that separated the zoo grounds from the outside world. They continued down until they got to an opening near the reptile houses.

Like skilled ninja's the teens snuck into the reptile house, making sure no one...especially no skirts...had seen them.

"Whew. We're lucky." Kiba sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck and looked around. The others only nodded as they looked around.

"It's not Ligers, but I guess it's the safest place." Naruto grumbled. "Girls don't like these things, right?"

"Idiot." The duckbutt scoffed as he peered down into one of the glass containers at a snake that was coiled up on a small branch. "You should know better then that dobe."

"What did you say teme?" Naruto growled, taking a step towards the boy. Only to have Neji pull him back.

"You've been in this situation before Naruto. Once they know that we are here, they will stop at nothing." Neji said in a mono-tone. "It doesn't matter to them that this place is filled with snakes. They'll get over it, just to get us."

The blond sighed and stepped back from the Uchiha, giving one last pointed glare before turning and staring in a large inclosed space with some giant snake in it. A few long minutes passed until Naruto finally released a giant sigh and fell back against a wall, letting his leg kick up to prop against the wall. He searched around the room and watched as Neji bent over to peer into a tank.

A smirk crossed his lips, slidding his foot down the wall the moron failed to feel the slight tug as his shoe caught breifly on a poorly locked traveling cage that for some reason had been left on the ground...the zoo may have been in the middle of transporting snakes elsewhere or something. He walked over to his long haired friend without hearing the slitter of a snake escaping its cage~.

Feeling the urge to be really friendly, Naruto crept up behind Neji with a smile on his face as he silently laughed in his head.

-SMACK!-

"WAAAHH!" Neji screamed as he jumped, holding his butt as he forehead crashed into the glass of the cage he had been looking into before the blonde had smacked him in the ass.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Naruto laughed as he pointed and clutched his stomach. "You scream like a girl!"

As the normally calm and collected Hyuuga boy shook with anger, Kiba stomped his foot on the floor, his laughter consuming him. He had seen the whole ordeal unfold before his eyes and was glad he didn't say anything. However, out of no where he let out an ear piercing scream as he started to hop around on one foot as his eyes darted at the floor.

"Kiba screams like a girl too!" Naruto chuckled, not noticing anything weird about his friends behavior. "Can we put make-up on you two and shove you into some dresses?"

"Naruto you dumbass!" Sasuke growled as he stormed past them and knealed down next to Kiba who had slammed down into the ground and was holding his ankle. The Uchiha looked to the left as a snake coiled around and stared at him ready to strike again, the teen smirked and in a move faster then anyone could see he snapped his arm out and grabbed the snake by its head and held tight as it whipped around. He leaned over and put the snake in its crate then slammed the door shut and locked it securely.

He looked over at Kiba then back around at the rest of the group. "What the hell just happened man?" Naruto questioned with wide eyes. The Uchiha stood up and behind the crate, he gave a smirk to the ground before turning and stating in a clear low voice.

"Kiba was bitten by that snake...and if someone doesn't suck the poison out soon...he could die."

"WHAT!?" Naruto yelled, his eyes wide as he pulled on his hair. "No! That's not true! Kiba, you're fine, right?"

Kiba didn't say anything, he just grumbled as he held his ankle and looked at Sasuke. "I don't want to die."

"You're not gonna die." The blonde said in a nervous voice. "We'll go get help."

"You take one foot out of this place and you'll get all of us killed." Neji growled as he grabbed Naruto by the arm as the blonde had started to back away. "Kiba will die from the poison and we'll get clobbered to death by the girls."

"Not to mention the fact the teachers will kill us for ditching them..." Sasuke whispered before looking at the other two who weren't bitten. "So who's going to do it?"

Naruto shoved Neji from the back and watched as the teen stumbled forward, "You are always talking about being a great man and whatnot and this will be a great way to get out of your bastardly image! Take this as an operatutity good buddy...Besides with those lips and that mouth I'm sure you'd get all that poision and then some." Neji whipped around with a fierce glare burning through his eyes.

Before the Hyuuga could hiss any threathening words Sasuke spoke up, "Sorry boys we don't have all the time in the world someone better do this in the next minute or he is a sure winner for the next seat on Death's list." Gaara stood with his arms crosses across his chest as Neji stood twitching.

"Why don't you do it Uchiha! If you are so smart!" Sasuke's lips parted to speak but just then an angished groan sounded from Kiba.

Tears started to pool behind Naruto's eyes and suddenly his foot slammed into the ground as he cried out in a soft tone, "DAMN IT ALL FINE I'LL DO IT!"

As Naruto knelt down at Kiba's foot, he missed the smirks that Neji, Sasuke and Gaara had exchanged between the three of them. Obviously, they knew something that the two boys on the ground didn't. Gently, Naruto took his friend's injured ankle into his hand and brought the wound to his lips.

With a breath in, he slowly started to suck what he thought was poison out of that boys ankle. But the only thing he tasted was blood. For a few moments he continued with the pattern that went like this... Suck, spit, suck, spit, suck, spit.

While it was going on, Kiba whimpered and kept his eyes pinched shut, just praying to God that he wouldn't die and that no one else would know of how much of a baby he was being at the moment. Only one of those wishes would come true as a small group of boys had snuck into the small enclosement and were watching with mixed emotions. Mostly curiosity and disgust.

Shikamaru sighed and Naruto's eyes snapped up to the teen, "Troublesome." the brunette muttered as he shared stares with the three smirking teens behind Naruto. "Naruto that snake wasn't poisonous so you are just wasting your time." Sasuke shot one glare at the Nara for ruining their cruel fun but smirked once again as Naruto shot up from the ground, eyes wider even more now then when he had found out Kiba had been bitten.

Kiba, still sprawled across the floor just stared at his bitten ankle..face oddly blank.

"YOU!" Naruto yelled as he pointed to Sasuke. "I'm going to kill you! You told me... I just... RAWR!"

With that, the blonde pounced. But it was in vein cause Neji was right there to hold the stupid angry teen back.

"Just you wait! I'll get you back for this!" Naruto screamed as he thrashed around, trying to get away from Neji's grip.

"Yeah yeah yeah dobe." Sasuke laughed as he waved a hand infront of his face and started to walk off.

"Well at least we learned something from this." A brunette boy smirked as he looked at Naruto. "If anyof us get's bitten by a snake, we can always count on Naruto to get the poison out."

"And make it worse." Shikamaru sighed. "Sucking poison out doesn't do anything aside from poison the other person and increase the chance of infection of the bite wound."

"How youthful of you to be filled with so much knowledge!" A bowl cut boy smiled as he gave shikamaru a thumbs up.