LAST TIME, ON AKATSUKI TRUTH OR DARE!!!

The very fabric of space and time was destroyed, when Deadly Dream's dare scarred everyone for life.

however, while everyone was at the hospital getting healed and therapy, Bob Saget was thrown into the show. now, stuck in a world he doesn't know, Bob saget attempts to make people laugh...but he still can't...



a clip of a Deidera flying away from Garra's sand is being shown on a TV screen.

"Ahh! no!" screamed A strange voice of Deidera. "He's throwing sand at meeee!!! NOOOOO!!!!"

The clip ended, and Bob Saget grinned at the crowd of sunagakure ninja.
"well, wasn't that hilarious? i think that Garra needs to stay out of the sandbox a bit more...hehe...hehe..."

Needless to say, the crowd was NOT amused.

"AHH!!!!" Bob Saget was thrown out of the back door of 'Sunagakure's funniest home videos,and landed hard on hs rear end.
"awww..." he muttered. "Why doesn't anyone think i'm funny...i'm funny, aren't I?"
A random hobo walked by him, and said "YOU SUCK!"
Bob groaned. "awww.....THAT'S IT!!!"
Bob leapt to his feet. "I'm SICK of this! why doesn't anyone laugh at my jokes? i'll make them laugh at my jokes! why, i'll take over the world!!! yes! BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!"
The same hobo came by, and said "YOU SUCK!!"
Bob glared at him.
"yeah, well, how about this? why did the chicken cross the world? bob saget!" Bob Saget chuckled, but the hobo had a very different reaction. he screamed, clutching his ears, and rolled around, twitching on the floor...and then he died.
Bob Saget stared at the Hobo for a while, and then realized that he held a power. a deadly power, the power to kill by telling bad jokes--okay, it was a pretty stupid power, and pretty damn sad,
BUT STILL.
he would use it in this strange world for revenge, and..
"RULE THE WORLD!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
"YOU STILL SUCK!!" yelled the hobo's dead corpse.

meanwhile, at Kurosaki Clinic in Karakura town...

"Well, Alfred. i think you're good to go." proclaimed Isshin Kurosaki, clapping his hands.

Alfred sat groggily up, rubbing his eyes. "oh, thank GOD." he exclaimed. "i can see again."
"um... why did you tear out your eyes again..?" asked Yuzu Kurosaki, looking extremely confused.
ALfred patted her on the head. "maybe when you're older." he said soothingly.
"The hell is that supposed to mean?" muttered Karin Kurosaki under her breath.

Ichigo Kurosaki then entered the kitchen, and adressed Alfred.
"Hey...uh..what was your name again?"
"Your mom." Alfred muttered.
"What was that?" asked Ichigo, killing intent written all over his face.
"...names Alfred."
"yeah, uh..there's some people outside dressed in black cloaks that have been asking around for you... do you know them? One's blue, One's super emo, ONe keeps twtiching, and jabbing his finger at about everything yelling "AGAINST MY RELIGION!!", one has this weird telescope thing on his eye, and another has...a venus flytrap on his head..and i'm not liking the hungry look he has in his eyes when he looked at me..."
"IT MUST BE A HOLLOW!!" screeched a voice from upstairs.

Rukia Kuchiki jumped from the stairs, and slammed her spirit glove into Ichigo's face, making him collapse, and his shinigami form came out.
"THE HELL, RUKIA???" screamed Ichigo. (Isshin had conveiniently gone to add up Alfred's substantial medical fees)
"WE HAVE TO KILL THE HOLLOW!!!" she screamed with a slightly insane look on her face, drawing her sword and charging out the window.
"DESTRUCTIVE ART 33!! SHOT OF BLUE FIRE!!!"

Ichigo groaned, and glanced at ALfred. "you can see me, huh? well, Rukia's just been introduced to a little thing called 'coffee'.."

then, a scream came from outside.
"I"M ON FIRE!!! KISAME!! PUT ME OUTTTT!!!"
"uh, sorry..aren't we supposed to-"
"WHITE LIGHTNING, CRASH DOWN!!"
"KYAHHH!!!" screamed Kisame.

Alfred and Ichigo rushed outside to witness Hidan and Deidera trying to hold down Rukia, stopping her from killing Kisame and Zetsu. Itachi was just standing to the side, smiling.
"MUST...KILL...THE HOLLOW..." growled Rukia, struggling against the two Akatsuki member's grips.
"Holy crap...." growled Deidera. "This lady's freaking insane, hn."
"Seiriously." muttered Hidan.
Rukia turned to Hidan and Deidera with a mad glint in her eye.
"You're with the hollow? you must be ARRANCAR!!! WHERES YOUR HOLLOW MASKS??!?!? I'LL MAKE YOU REVEAL THEM!!"
with that, Rukia broke free of their hold, and stabbed Hidan through the head.
"DIE, ARRANCAR!!"
Hidan groaned. "oh, Jaishin...deilver me from this insane bit-"
"YOU WONT DIE, THEN, HUH???" Rukia continued to rant. "THEN I WILL FREEZE YOU TO DEATH!!! DANCE, SODE NO-"
Then Rukia abrubtly fell over, and began sleeping.
Ichigo sighed. "she crashed..."
Alfred sighed. "yeah, this is miy gang...wait...HOW'D YOU GET A CAR???"

Itachi's mouth spread in a wide, evil grin.
"Well, since you were in here for about 2 weeks, we put Zetsu here on display in the zoo, and charged money to look at him. however...at least 4 other people tried to kill him, saying something about hollows, or whatever."

Alfred groaned. "well,. i think we've plauged this universe enough-"
"AHA! GOING TO THE HOLLOW WORLD, ARE WE!!?!?!"
Rukia had awakened.
"I'LL STOP YOU---"
she abrubtly began sleeping again.

"er..yeah. we're gonna leave now." said ALfred.
"Hey, Ichigo..tell your father to put it on my credit card number..8675309. 'kay?"
"whatever."

Alfred then used Author no Jutsu to create a hole in time and space, and they drove their new car through it.

Ichigo stood there for a moment, and then something dawned on him.
"Wait. 8675309? Isn't that a song--YOU LITTLE CHEATING MIDGET!!" he roared, as the hole in time and space closed.
"huh...? where am i..?" Rukia opened her eyes.
"Ichigo...the last thing i remember is drinking some of the mysterious liquid..."
"Rukia...you're hopeless."

As Itachi drove the car towards the Naruto universe, an interesting fact occured to Alfred.
"Itachi...DO YOU HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE??"
" a what?"
Alfred nearly screamed. "I'M IN THE CAR WITH AN UNREGISTERED DRIVER? WHAT THE HECK ARE WE GONNA DO IF THE FUZZ SHOWS UP!?!?!?"
"alfred." said Kisame. "relax. there is no police between dimensions-"

Suddenly, a faint theme song could be heard in the distance.
"GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!"

"What the fu-"

a spaceship appeared out of nowhere, and five people jumped out of it, all dressed in different colored suits.
"HOld it right there!"

Itachi rolled down the window.
"Who the HELL are you?"

"we're the super galactic rangers!" proclaimed a ranger.
" we go across the galaxy to fight evil by giving speeding tickets to everyone across the entire universe."

"That has to be the crappiest job i've ever heard of."
laughed Deidera.
"Yeah, this seiries went down the crapper after mighty morphin power rangers." said Itachi, completely ignoring the powerranger next to him.
ALfred and Kisame looked at each other, and at the same time yelled:
"SPD!!! EMERGENCY!!!" at the top of their lungs.

"Excuse me, but may i see your license and registration?"
asked the power ranger.

"what are those?" asked Itachi.

"NO lisence? then you're coming with me, bud."

"Like hell i am! i'm going home!"

"So are you refusing to come with me?"

"What do you think i just said, baka?"

"Then we must take you by force! POWER RANGERS! ASSEMBLE!!"

All five of them jumped into a line in front of the car.
"WE ARE THE-"
"HOT PINK RANGER!"
"FLOURESENT RANGER!"
"TECHNICOLOR RANGER!"
"GREENISH BLUE RANGER!"
"AND THE GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT POWER RANGER!"
At The other's confused expression, he explained.
"we ran out of colors."
"PREPARE TO LOSE!!"

"Prepare to lose." Alfred snickered. "That must be the worst catchphrase i've ever heard. I mean, while they're at it, why not say 'prepare to lose, BELIEVE IT!'?"

Naruto looked up from his ramen bowl at Ichiraku's.
"For some reason, i really want to punch Alfred."
Sakura shrugged. "What else is new? remember. you're paying."
"Wh-what?? NUUU!! SAKURA-CHAN!!!"

Next time:the battle against the law enforcement of the galaxy!

In classic cheesy fighting style, all the power rangers pulled out crummily designed weapons, and charged at our heroes. or...whatever you want to call them.

"GO POWER RANGERS!!" they all screeched at the top of their lungs.

Itachi ran them over with their car.

"sweet, itachi!" yelled Alfred. "That must've been the coolest thing you've ever done!"
"Hmph." Itachi smirked. "If you think that's cool, then watch this."
HE than ran over them again, backwards.
and then forwards.
and then at a diagonal sorta thing.
"WOOT!!" screamed Alfred.
"aw, damn. they're still alive." growled Deidera, as the rangers began to get up.
"gah! they're powerful!" said flourescent ranger. "what can we do? our weapons can't do anything!"
Hot pink power ranger jumped to his feet.
"I'll get them! super power blast!"
A blue light began to gather in his hands, and then Alfred charged out of the car.
"Dynamic Entry!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, kicking the hot pink power ranger in his chest.

And then, for some reason, sparks randomly flew from the ranger, and he yelled "AHHH!" and went flying across the space they were in.
"yeah....i never got that either." muttered Kisame, who was randomly chewing popcorn.

The power rangers all backed up against each other.
"he's strong...what should we do?"
"we should combine our powers!!!"
They all then stood in a line.
"GALACTIC POWER-ACTIVATE!!"

"seiriously...they couldn't think of anything more imaginitive?" said Itachi.
"This movie sucks."

They all put their hands together, and began to charge up a ball of power.
"This is our strongest attack!"

Alfred walked over, and poked one of the rangers.

He, of course, yelled "AHHHH!!" and flew back with crappy special effects.

Alfred then poked the rest of them, and they all flew back.
"wow. these guys really suck..."

The power rangers weakly got to their feet.
"this calls for our secret weapon!"
"yes, it does! ACTIVATE MEGAZORD!!!"

suddenly, they all disappeared, and their spaceship transformed into a giant dragon-thingy. After, of course, some really crappy special effects and crappy animation.
"PREPARE TO LOSE!!" they cried, as the dragon thingy roared.

But the car was gone.

The rangers were silent.
The grammatically correct ranger slammed his hand on the control pad of the megazord.
"Dammit! these things move so freaking slow!!"


A giant hole appeared in the village of konoha, and the Akatsuki car fell out of the sky, and into the forest with a large explosion.
"well. that was annoying." muttered Hidan, brushing himself off.
"MY BABY!!" screamed Itachi, falling to his knees, as he looked at the charred remains of his car.
When everyone looked at him strangely, he quickly regained his posture, and stood up straight.
"I mean....hmph. never liked it anyway."
Kisame sighed. "Well, at least we're back."
"Yeah, nowhere near our base!" Deidera jabbed an accusing finger at Itachi.
"You freaking suck at driving! now we'r ein freaking Konoha!"
"well, would YOU HAVE DONE ANY BETTER?"
"BELIEVE IT!!"
Itachi tried to stab Deidera with a random kunai he found, but Deidera hid behind Hidan, who took it in the face.
"Screw you." growled Hidan.
"SHUT UP, AND HELP ME OUTTA HERE!!" screamed ALfred, who was trapped under the burning wreckage that was Itachi's car.
"Y'know, we could just leave him here..." said Deidera thoughtfully.
"That WOULD be nice." said Kisame, and evil shark grin appearing on his face. "He might even DIE."
"I'LL GET OUT, AND I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL THROW YOU IN THE YAOI FANGIRL PIT, SO HELP ME!" screeched Alfred, beating his fists against the floor.
Kisame put out the fire with a water jutsu, and pulled Alfred out.
"Annoying Midget.."
(A/N: Alfred is roughly three fet, 5 inches)
"ah, that's better." Alfred clapped his hands. "well, now we need to find a place to crash..."
"hmmm...I heard to Uchiha Complex has quite a few vacancies..." muttered Itachi thoughtfully.
"YOU THINK? I WONDER WHY?" asked Alfred.

five minutes later...

"He didn't even ask why we were here!" yelled Alfred, as they walked away from the Uchiha complex.
"i can think of one good reason why..." Kisame said, staring pointedly at Itachi.
"why, oh WHY couldn't we dress him up as some random squirel..?"
"well..i have a plan b..." offered Kisame.

five minutes later...

"AND HE HAD TO REMEBMBER ME THEN, DID HE? STUPID BUSHY BROW SPANDEX-WEARING FREAK!!" ranted Kisame, as they walked away from Gai's house.
"yeah, well..."
"ha, I have a plan..." said Hidan slyly...

thrity minutes later, following an extremely violent battle...

Kakuzu wiped his forehead. "whew, i finally finished sewing up Hidan..wow, that Shikamaru kid can really hold a grudge..."
"HE F**KING CHOPPED ME TO BITS WITH A BUTTER KNIFE!!! HE F**KING STRAPPED ME TO A F**KING TABLE, AND F**KING CUT ME APART!!"
"Yeah, that probably wasn't the best idea ever." said Alfred.
"one thing i don't understand..." began Kakuzu. "is how on earth Shikamaru knows about us, and Sasuke is still here..doesn't that like, destroy the continuity of the seiries?"
"duh. that's what fanfics DO." said Alfred. "now, who can we go to next?"

five minutes later.
"well, there was a 99 percent change The hokage would be drunk enough to let us stay at her place..." grumbled Alfred, as they ran as fast as they could from the hokage's mansion.
"Yeah?" asked Deidera, looking over his shoulder to check if Tsunade was still chasing them.
"And what was the other percent? she was so drunk she thought we were all her ex-boyfriend? ALL OF US? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO THAT??"
"I DON'T KNOW!! JUST RUN!!"
Deidera threw a clay bird into the air, which got bigger.
"I know a place! here! let's go!"

LATER

"HOLY CRAP!!!" screamed Deidera, narrowly dodging a torrent of sand.
"WHAT ON EARTH MADE YOU THINK GARRA WOULD GIVE US ANY BETTER A WELCOME???" screamed Kisame, jumping over several shuriken.
"WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS, WHY DIDN'T WE JUST GO TO OUR FREAKING HIDEOUT?? WE FREAKING PASSED IT ON THE WAY HERE, YOU ARTARD!!" screeched Alfred.
"oh. right..." Deidera threw a clay bird into the air, and they flew away.

When they got back to their home..

"HUH???" screamed the entire gang, as they looked at Mount Akatsuki, their hideout.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED???"


MYA! CLIFFHANGER! WHAT NOW????

"WHAT THE HELL??"

Tobi looked up, and saw the rest of his fellow clan members.
"ooh, ooh, hey guys!"
"TOBIII!" screamed Deidera. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??"
Tobi shrugged. "what do you mean-"
"A GARDEN!!" cried Kisame in despair.
Tobi looked down at the garden he'd planted.
"...and..?"
"DUDE!" yelled Itachi, picking tobi up and shaking him. "THAT'S LIKE THE MOST UNMANLY THING YOU CAN FREAKING DO!!!"
"Aww...but i like the flowers.." muttered Tobi, brushing his hands on his gardening apron.
"WE'LL BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! I MUST KILL THEM!!!" screamed Kisame, randomly chopping up flowers.
"Fire style jutsu!" yelled itachi, burning the garden.
"NUUUU!!!" screamed Tobi in anguish, as he fell to his knees.
"that's not enough..." said Alfred, cracking his knuckles. "YOU'VE GOT TO BLOW THEM TO HELL!!!" he screamed madly, raising a giant bazooka and several explosives. "DIEEE!!"

SPLODE!

Tobi bawled. "my garden...it's...gone..."
Alfred smiled, crossing his arms in satisfactation. "well, i think i got rid of them.."
Hidan gazed at the rather large hole in the ground.
"...y'think...?"
"hey. Dumbasses." The Akatsuki leader, followed by Konan, appeared out of the hideour.
"look at this." He tossed them a 'reader's digest', and Itachi caught it.
"let's see..WHAT THE??? LOCAL VILLAINS COMPLETE AND TOTAL LADYMEN??"
"lemme see!" Deidera snatched the book from Itachi, and began to read.
"Local villanous group, Akatsuki, has been sighted with a garden in front of their hideout. As every self-respecting villain knows, gardens are not badass, and who ever planted the garden must be part of the most...girly....organization...ever..."
Deidera dropped the book in shock.
"TOBI!!! I'M GONNA KEEEEEEEL YOUUUUUU!"
"he's gone." said the Leader, pointing at Tobi's retreating figure.
"SEVEN DAYS, BASTARD!!SEVEN DAYS!!!"

Elsewhere....

"noo! that's impossible!" cried Orochimaru, falling to his knees. "these jokes..are so...not..funny.."
Bob Saget laughed evily, as the great Sannin was knocked unconcious. "yes! i am the strongest! in fact, i'm even stronger than charmin ultra toilet paper! ahaha...ha..ha.."

*some random guy in china*

"AHHH! IT SUCKS!!!" *dies*

Bob Saget scowled. "screw all of you."