The face in the mirror stares at me and I can’t help but wonder; ‘Is this how they see me’ I rest my hand against my cheek and the reflection mirrors me.

‘Big blue eyes’ I blink slowly and again the reflection does the same.

My blond hair is ruffled atop my head, so is the reflections.

I take a step back and trip back over my tired and worn back pack.. “Shit” I yell hitting the floor.

I blush deeply glad there is no one around and jump to my feet, forgetting about my previous thoughts of depression and hatred.

I open the door quietly and slip into the early morning air of New York City.

Immediately the smell of hot dogs and car fumes hits me like an train. I take a deep breath and pull my collar tighter around my chin seeking its warmth.

The ten or so blocks to my high school are as long and as interesting as always, I stop by the pancake stall and get a syrup covered snack.

I high five the hot dog guy as I pass. It takes me roughly two hours with the stopping to chat to the usual stall holders.

I arrive outside the usual grey brick building of the high school and sigh, I had just made it.

I dash through the corridors around the next corner, I will make it and then I can drink my soda.

CRASH!!!

“Ouch” I hit someone.

“Shit, what the hell?” I feel the blood rush from my face as I see who it is lying underneath me.

“Sasuke” I breathe quietly.

He frowns and as if sensing my heart flutter as his eyes meet mine he snarls slightly “Get off me idiot” going red in the face.

I slide off him and stand, I offer him my hand but he doesn’t accept it. Uh oh!

“What the hell were you running for?” asked Sasuke still frowning.

I gulp and grin slowly, “Well I need to get to my home room, and I need a drink so I thought I should get there quickly and drink it when I’m safely at my desk” I realise to late how dorky that sounded but what the heck!

Sasuke seemed to roll his eyes at me and turned away raising a hand to me “Good luck dork” he said reaching the glass doors I had just entered through.

I see Neji Hyuuga and Sakura Haruno join him through the other entrance and they greet each other happily, Sakura with a kiss.

I turn away blushing and scuttle off towards my homeroom.

Ino and Kiba raise their hands in greeting from the other side of the room, they are obviously having some sort of deep discussion over something.

I take the empty seat beside Hinata and sigh again she turns to me and I wink at her she grins.

“Good morning my prince” she says chirpilly.

I can’t help but smile, Hinata is just funny like that everything she says sounds like a strange joke.

“What are they talking about?” I ask indicating Ino and Kiba with my head. She shrugs but grins again.

“Well this is what I think…” she clears her throat and her voice deepens comically.

“Ino my darling, there is something we must discuss” this has me in stitches but she continues.

Her voice high she speaks again “Kiba my love, anything you say sounds like music to me” I snort and she winks at me continuing on.

“Ino I have been wearing your mother’s dresses in private for over a week now and I think it is time I told you”

She sucks in an exaggerated shock pose “what are you trying to say Kiba?”

“That…Darling I am a cross dresser and I have a fondness for your mothers tight leather” This has me doubled over in my seat.

“So yeah, that’s what I think anyway” she grinned at me glad to make me laugh.

Gaara sitting at the desk behind, kicks the back of her chair and mouths to her.

“You are so hot” She blushes and mouths back.

“I want your body baby” she teases he grins at her and leans across his desk planting a kiss on her forehead.

Ino and Kiba return to their usual seats beside me. “So how did she take it Kiba? Was the leather a bit much?” I ask in mock seriousness.

Kiba frowns and then grins when he sees Hinata and Gaara laughing.

Ino rubs her thumb across my cheeks where the six scars from my childhood still remain.

“Naruto I love you” she whispered now holding either side of my face, for a second I think she is going to kiss me and I panic.

“Ino, it doesn’t matter. It was a frigging play I was told to say it I didn’t write the flaming script” Kiba was fuming.

Ino grinned at him “Kiba I know I was just playing” she kissed his cheek lightly and he smiled again.

*

Sasuke sat at his desk; he had just entered the room for a second time after going to find Neji and Sakura.

When they entered the room what they saw and heard made them all shake their heads.

Naruto and his band of marry retards were at it again. This time it was the tall dark haired girl mimicking something that had both her boyfriend and Naruto in stitches.

“Typical rejects” hissed Sakura planting herself in the chair beside Sasuke.

Neji stared in amazement as Hinata and her boyfriend began to make out, right there in the class room. He was disgusted at them.

Sasuke frowned as the blond flirt took Naruto’s face into her palms and confessed her love to him; Sasuke was stunned when she started grinning and kissed the dog boy on the cheek.

Naruto shifted in his seat to face the front as Temari and Shikamaru joined Sasuke.

Sasuke turned and saw how flushed Shikamaru was then he focused on Temari and noticing her smug smile could only guess at what they had just been up to; something Neji would punish them for.

The bell rang out through the halls of the high school and eventually the class (Naruto’s group) quietened down enough for Professor Kabuto to check attendance.

Sasuke noticed how Naruto kept glancing over his shoulder; a note was being passed around the group. Naruto took it and opened it, his eyes widened and Sasuke frowned with curiosity.

*

The note unfolded in my hands was a quick sketch done by Gaara no doubt; the skill was definitely there, I mean it definitely resembled Sasuke.

I turned to glare at Gaara and earned myself a slap around the head, I turned back gingerly to find Professor Kabuto stood over me a rolled up book in his hand.

“Naruto, I called your name three times…what is this?” he spotted the note and frowned.

I sat in a stunned Uh Oh pose for a second to long, He took up the piece of paper and unfolded it.

I watched as his young features folded into smirk. “You drew this?” he asked out of curiosity no doubt, the guy was a sure off pervert.

“I…I” I didn’t want to dump Gaara into it. “Yes sir” I say. Hinata sniggers beside me.

Professor Kabuto smiled, a sorry sight, one no student wishes to see for it means trouble.

“And you used Mr. Uchiha for a model, along with your self, for what reason?” I glare up at him sharply.

His smirk will stay with me until the day I die, I swear.

He slammed the book onto my desk and sighs; still smirking “If only grades were as good as your art” he laughed sharply and walked back to the front.

I didn’t dare look in Sasuke’s direction. I was furious with Gaara and he knew it.

After the embarrassing ordeals of first period I catch up to him. I grab his shoulder and slam him into the wall of lockers.

He grins at me and holds up his hands. “Hey…Naruto…Man” he smiles sheepishly.

“Yes, man. That was great! Absolutely hilarious” I scrunch up the front of his jumper in my fist.

“I may not be straight but you don’t need to take the rip out of me like that! I fucking hate that! I fucking hate it when you any of you…” I say noticing the rest of my group around us. “Do that!” I finish slamming him hard into the lockers again.

I heard him grunt in pain and pleased I could show that I’m not the weak gay boy they think I am.

Before I reach the end of the corridor I hear Gaara shout after me.

“That is out of Order Naruto and you know it, if you can’t handle your own sexuality, then sort it out!” he paused and I heard Hinata trying to shush him “I would take the rip out of you even if you were straight just like you do with me!”

Inside I know he is right and that I am an asshole but right now I’m too fucking pissed to do anything but storm from the building, now everyone including Sasuke and his gang knows that I...I am gay!

I have to get the fuck out of here and stay out!

*

Sasuke was as shocked as anyone to find out Naruto was gay but it made his stomach twitch for some reason.

This morning He had crashed straight into him and ended up underneath him, how? He had no clue but he…he liked it.

Not that he would ever admit that, to anybody at all.

He wasn’t like Naruto, he wasn’t gay and he was pretty sure that having this mature and special relationship with Sakura was exactly what he….needed? No what he thought was right.

He shook his head but couldn’t forget the scene from earlier; it kept playing and replaying in his mind.

*

I sit in my apartment, huddled on my bed tears streaming down my face.

Okay so I am in touch with my emotions and am probably more aware of my feelings than most guys but so what? I was mortally embarrassed today.

Ha! There is no way this won’t be around the school before the day was out.

I look at the clock on my bedside table and groan it was already four. I felt my mobile vibrating against my thigh.

Pulling it out of my pocket I answer. “Hullo?” I sniff and rub my nose on my shirt sleeve.

“Uh hi Naruto it’s Hinata” oh dear!

“Hi”

“Gaara is guilt tripping right now” I can hear a moan in the back ground and then a slam “No Gaara, not your freaking head you need that…Sorry about that Naruto Gaara just tried to saw through his neck.”

This had her desired effect in making me laugh. I hear a rustle and some fumbling and then realise she passed the phone to Gaara.

“Naruto, I know you hate me right now and well im not sorry I shouted that out…” there was a pause then he continued.

“I mean now every body knows and well they all think differently about it, Umm ah Sasuke seemed to loathe it, he and Neji started a rumour about that note earlier”

My stomach sinks further if that’s possible.

“Well you know I was trying to clear the air a bit and I took the note from home room and well I was about to rip it up when that Sakura bitch snatched it saying I wasn’t supposed to steal from teachers desks.”

I saw where this was going and gulped.

“She saw it and was umm shocked to say the least she umm swore a few times only to get a back hand slap from Neji, ladies shouldn’t talk like that. But any way he then saw it and his face I’ll tell you man it was awesome definitely a Kodak moment…”

I hear Hinata yelling at him then he stops that line of conversation and focuses.

“Anyway he than felt that Sasuke should know what perverted thoughts you had of him and I said that I drew it as a joke, only he didn’t believe me so he stormed off holding the picture and a few minutes later Sasuke emerged from the toilets very pale, I mean paler and glared at me. I think he knew I did it to be honest, he is in my art class after all”

I stay silent not trusting words to come out how I choose them, I gulp and try to say something like ‘fine’ or maybe even ‘well that’s a bit of a relief’ but what came out instead was a lot unlike that!

“I am gonna fucking kill myself” I gulp again realising what I said then go on to say “And you can know it was all your doing” with that I hung up and threw my phone out the open window, immediately regretting it.

i ran over to the window and leant out down below there was an old woman lying well more like sprawlled on the ground limbs jutting out in odd directions.

i gulp and realise with a shock that my phone is by the side of her, near her head.

"Fuck i killed a granny with a mobile phone" i hissed and slammed my window closed.

*

Sasuke looked down at the piece of paper again and gulped, he was now at home curled into a tight secure ball on his bed.

He couldn’t believe it but when he looked at Gaara’s note the first time in the bathrooms.

Now he sat staring at it in an uneasy state of confusion.

He looked at it and thought how hot it looked, how good that position would be.

Then he thought about Neji and his silly ideals and beliefs, the about Sakura and felt guilty, he couldn’t deny that he found Naruto attractive in a cute dork like sort of way, but on this note he was not that boy.

He considered the picture from further away and smirked, it looked like the cartoon version of him was having fun at least.

He shoved the picture under his pillow along with a picture of him and Sakura (a strictly normal non perverted picture of them) at the beach.

He rolled over and clapped his hands, the lights went off and he drifted into an uneasy confusion filled sleep.

*

“Okay sleep!” I shouted into the night through my open window. “Come now!” there was a snigger from behind me and I see Gaara still lying on my bed.

“You should be careful what you shout people might get the wrong impression about you.”

“Gaara, your idea is fucking insane” Gaara grinned again and turned to Ino who just shrugged.

“It was my idea Naruto” she whispered.

I turn to her and frown “Why?” it’s preposterous, impossible and ridiculous!

“Well I need the external training like my boss keeps telling me, and well you are cute you could totally pull it off” she nods as if to re-assure me. I sighed and collapsed onto the bed beside Gaara, he immediately stiffened, like always.

I sigh again and rest my head on his chest, I try to hide my smirk from Ino as Gaara inhales sharply and lies completely still for a few seconds before I crack up.

“Gaara I am not in the mood to pounce on you and…well I’m just not in the mood tonight” I climb up off the bed but can’t help one last jab; he deserved it after what he got me into.

I leaned over him and licked my lips slowly; I drew a finger across his tense forehead and down his cheek.

He sucked in yet another breath and went red looking disturbed and panicked.

“Gaara” I mouthed as my hand worked its way down his abdomen. He squeaked softly and pushed me so hard I flew off the end of the bed.

Laughing I stood and shook off. I took in the sight of Gaara glaring at me bright red and looking murderous.

I turned to Ino whose mouth had fallen open and her eyes were fixed on the bed, a dazed look crawled across her face, she looked as if some sort of immensely satisfying dream.

I cleared my throat, she turned her head and a smile crept onto her face as she looked at me, then all of a sudden she squealed and jumped around the room like this for at least a minute then she stopped.

Grinning broadly she spoke loudly in a squeal, “Oh My Fucking God! I am such a Yaoi Fan Girl, fuck that was soooooo hot do it again please, oh wow it was like ho ho ho it was like the hottest and cutest thing I have possibly ever seen…” then she thought placing a finger on her lip “No actually Kiba in a bunny outfit was cuter but still, oh I need to go refresh.”

She sped into the bathroom and we heard her squeal then the cold tap then a sharp “oooohhhh” as she dunked her head into the basin.

She emerged hair wet and smiling broadly. I thought about her reaction to my umm actions and grinned at Gaara, who now had a smile on his face.

I went to sit beside him but immediately he sprang up towards the window.

“I am in love I don’t want to be touched, molested by you, a guy!” he turned to Ino and nodded “You are one crazy bitch” she grinned and stepped towards me.

Taking my hands in hers, “Naruto please let us go ahead with my plan, we can pull it off. And now I know you are too fucking hot to be single” she winked at me and that was that.

That was how I was initiated into her strange plan of make up, pink ribbons and blond wigs!

Naruto smiled, he had been smiling like this for a week. Since that dreaded day when Gaara *the prick* drew that note. The rumour had quickly spread through the school. He had put up with the taunts and the laughing, the ignoring and the whispering. He had even, though it pained him, got used to the fact Sasuke was ignoring and avoiding him.

Hopefully after this half term week everything will be back to the way it was, with one major difference. Naruto gulped thinking about it but shook away the thought as quickly as it had come.

He scooped up his bowl and re-read the instructions on the packet “Whip the eggs until light and fluffy…. WHAT THE HELL!?!” he threw the bowl of ingredients down on the side and squeezed the book in his hands, his face slowly turning red with anger. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN???” He flicked the book into the bin behind him and picked up the bowl with the remaining ingredients sloshing around.

“I shall now demonstrate how to cook cup cakes Naruto style.” Naruto explained ‘his way’ to his fox plushy now sat on the table covered in as much flour as Naruto.

“Well now I have whipped it up slightly… okay twice but any way, we pour the ingredients into the pockets.” He tipped up the bowl and poured it out. “Right, next we shove them I the microwave for lets say thirty seconds… maybe minutes we want to make sure they are well done, oh did I get the orange icing?” he pushed the buttons on the microwave and dashed over to his storage cupboard.

“YES… Kyuubi, I have it!” he danced around the kitchen with the orange icing singing a few lines from his favourite song.

The fox plushy, Kyuubi, fell backwards and stayed like that.

The door bell rang. BING BONG!

Naruto ripped off his pink apron and dashed through the house leaving a trail of white flour behind him.

“Yes…” Ino stood there holding a coil of rope and a roll of duck tape. Naruto gulped and tried to close the door. Hinata was lying on the floor in the way “What the he…” he fell over and realised she had tied his feet together.

“NO…Ino I shall not do this!” Ino grinned amused.

“Naruto I think you’ll find you have no choice. If you don’t do this you will forever regret it. If we don’t do this for you, you will be teased laughed at and beaten to a pulp by the tough guys like Rock Lee everyday for the rest of your school life!” her dramatics had Naruto stunned and Hinata in fits of giggles.

“You are being mean to me, Leave me to my cooking!” Ino grinned again “Naruto your apartment is covered in flour what exactly are you cooking?”

It was Naruto’s turn to grin “Well I was going to make six to eight cup cakes. But the ingredients were only enough for two.” He smiled up at her and she felt her heart twinge, he looked so cute with flour all over his face and that closed eyed grin.

THWACK. SHUFFLE. SCREACH. “NOOOooooooo!”
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!

Ino and Hinata screamed as a small explosion sounded from the kitchen. The now bound and gagged Naruto wriggled on the floor “U ud ekes!” he screamed.

Ino turned to Hinata, she shrugged and they both lifted Naruto.

“Hinata you make sure the door is locked and I will drag him to the bus stop.”

Hinata nodded and dropped Naruto, “OOAAeeee.” She winced “Sorry Naruto.” She giggled and pulled the door closed.

Ino reached the elevator and pushed the down button. Naruto wriggled and made noises though he had a pair of Ino’s socks shoved in his mouth.

The elevator doors pinged open. Ino dragged Naruto inside and held the door for Hinata. She whizzed in and pushed the ground button.

The same old corny elevator music started up as the two not including the resigned Naruto taped there feet waiting.

The elevator stopped and the doors pinged open. “Go, Go, Go.” Hinata screamed picking up Naruto’s head as they rushed across the ground floor and out into the street.

The bus they wanted had just pulled up. “WAIT!” yelled Ino as the hauled Naruto onto the bus. The driver rolled his eyes.

“Three tickets to the Yamanaka estate.” Ino said handing over her money to the driver.

XX

Naruto rubbed his face and shook out his legs.

“You two will pay, you know that right?” they both smiled and nodded.

The gates to the Yamanaka Estate squeak open and the small street comes into view.

“Ino why are we here again?" Hinata smirked as Naruto asked the obvious.

“Naruto, in order for my ingenious and borderline insane plan to work; you must first grow accustom to the ways of the woman.” She spins away from them and holds out her arms “Behold, The Yamanaka Estate.” Hinata and Naruto’s mouths dropped open in surprise.

Every house, shop and Office was bustling with tall, thin and all blond women. There were only a few blond haired and blue eyed men walking through the mass of pink heels and blond highlights.

“Ino is every woman in the Yamanaka family born tall, blond and anorexic?” Hinata asked gulping as a particularly tall woman glared down at her.

In response Ino just laughs softly making her way down the street.

“Hinata I called you here today because you need to take the time this holiday to learn how to imitate my father’s voice, after that you are free to go. However, you…” She stopped abruptly and poked a long pale finger into Naruto’s flour covered shirt.

“Me?” Naruto pointed to himself and gulped as Ino nodded a glint in her eye.

“Naruto Uzumaki, welcome to your new home… you like?” She raised her arms to a small white house with pink window frames and covered in even pinker flowers.

“For this week and this week only this is the home of you and your many make up artists and stylists, tutors and me!”

Naruto grinned nervously and gulped. This could be fun… he thought as the front door of the cottage flew open and another tall blond woman rushed towards them… or then again, he spun around and tried to sneak away after Hinata who was being taken to meet Ino’s father and head of the Yamanaka family.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Ino grabbed the back of his shirt and flung him into the garden. “Less chatting; more moving. Get your asses inside now!” the woman had her manicured hands placed on her hips, she reminded Naruto of Ino… but then again every woman in this place did.

“Enter my mother…” Ino whispered as Naruto grinned. He smiled broadly up at the woman who considered him through narrow eyes.

Her eyes opened to a normal size and she smiled “You child are even more beautiful and dashing then Ino let on.” She whirled around and sauntered back into the cottage. Naruto smirked at Ino who was blushing.

“Brad Pitt eat your heart out, Naruto Uzumaki is beautiful and dashing.” Ino snorted as they made there way up the front path of the house.

XX

Sasuke got onto his knees before Neji.

“Neji, please?” Neji folded his arms as the pleading Sasuke tugged at the legs of his white shorts.

“Sasuke, I don’t see how you can act like this! The school is in a state of…unease to say the least and you want me to forget about my half term assignment and go to the cinema?” he scoffed.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at his friend “Neji you will not be forgetting it, my man servant William Price Phillip Montgomery Chilton Walker Junior the Third will complete it for you when he’s done with mine.”

Neji turned away from his kneeling friend and stared out the window.

“But Neji darling, I really want a burger… Fat, juicy, yummy chilli covered cheese burger.” Neji turned a strange shade of green.

“Sasuke you may want to rot your body with that fast food crap, BUT, I do not.” Sasuke smirked.

“Neji we are going to see my brothers latest film, I hear it’s awesome!” Neji squeals as Sasuke basically drags him through the house stopping briefly in the kitchen to inform William Price Phillip Montgomery Chilton Walker Junior the Third, that he has another assignment to complete.

“What is up with that, doig?” yelled W.P.P.M.C.W.J the third.

Sasuke laughed as he dragged Neji after him to his car.

Sasuke sighed and glanced over at Neji who was sat sulking like the true little thunder cloud he was.

Why couldn’t he have friends that liked the same things as him like burgers on a Saturday afternoon or watching films containing his brother’s graphic death or one that likes watching…Naruto? The word shot into his head causing him to swerve and scrape the curb of the Uchiha drive.

“JESUS BOB MARLEY!” Neji Screamed as they swerved back onto path. Sasuke laughed slightly as Neji’s eyes basically fell out.

“You are not a safe driver! You’re lucky I’m your friend. I am a junior member of the highway safety team…” he carried on for a while but Sasuke had switched off concentrating instead on the white lines now flashing past his window.

XX

Naruto folded his left leg over his right and looked down to his crotch. “Ah, I see what you mean, but how do we solve it?” Ino’s aunt smiled warmly. “We use these my young friend, we use these.” She held up the biggest pair of pink knickers Naruto had ever seen.

He snorted and rolled his eyes. She frowned and shook them at him “They are generally used by women to hide their stomachs to make them appear slimmer.” Naruto gulped.

She handed him the knickers and motioned for him to pull them on. He looked down at his groin again and whimpered before slipping them on beneath his white robe.

He frowned as he got used to them, squatting a few times.

“So?” the woman was eager to know.

Naruto rose a freshly plucked eyebrow at her and grinned.

He sat on the edge of the bed and crossed his legs, he grinned again and crossed them th other way.

“Oh, yeah. It works lady!” She jumped to her feet and they slapped high ten as Naruto did a small victory dance.

XX

Hinata sat in the office by her self. “Oh Lola, oh Lola.” She sang along with her pink ipod.

Kankuro Slipped into the room.

He wore a tight black shirt and baggy lack pants, he worked for the Yamanaka’s as a PA to Ino’s father. He cocked an eyebrow at Hinata as she tapped her feet on his bosses desk.

He walked over and stood behind the chair she was sat in. He peered down over her and slapped a hand to his mouth.

Her cleavage was immense, huge and beautiful.

He squeezed his nose together to stop himself getting a nose bleed and leant forward for another look.

Her black bra only covered half the size of her big breasts. She jiggled around to the music and Kankuro thought he was going to loose it.

He turned away and gasped, a hand ruffling his hair as he crouched on the floor.

“Ah, you’re Kankuro right?” He leaped into the air and shrieked as Hinata peered around the side of the chair at him.

“What were you doing on the floor?” Kankuro looked at he place he had been crouched and blushed heavily. “My shoe had come…*cough* untied it’s self.” He cursed himself for being so immature.

She giggled. Kankuro smiled and felt a trickle slid from his nose, he clapped a hand to his face just as Hinata pointed to it. “S…So sorry.” He darted from the room and cursed him self over and over again, he really needed a girlfriend if only to relieve himself every now and then.

Hinata looked down and grinned, she hadn’t realised the zip on her top had slid down that far, her black bra on show.

She hunched her shoulders in and marvelled as she sometimes did at the sheer size of her own boobs.

“Excuse me miss can I help you?” She yelped slightly and pulled the zip right up to her chin as an older blond haired man strolled into the room.

She blushed and nodded. “I have come to collect voice samples, your voice samples.” He nodded smiling and pulled a small recorder from his desk draw and handed it to her.

“Thank you, sorry about that sir I was ummm…” she blushed again.

“I understand, our Kankuro is a very attractive kid. Ino used to be besotted with him, that was until that rat Kiba showed up.” he sighed as if remembering a good time then motioned for her to leave.

She didn’t need telling twice. She dashed from the room, she may have been embarrassed but not as much as Ino will be once she finds out Hinata knew about her old crush. ‘Mind you’ she thought as she made her way through the pink and blond bustle’ He was very attractive, to say he’s Gaara’s brother’.

XX

Sasuke sniggered as the cinema gasped; the main character (Itachi) had just been sliced and diced using a kitchen knife. Sasuke grinned evilly at the screen as his brothers fake blood squirted out. He felt Neji convulse and gag beside him.

“Here have some coke.” Sasuke offered quietly.

“Sasuke that stuff contains so much bad stuff. It’s bad for you.” Sasuke rolled his eyes and smirked as the end credits flew up the darkened screen. “And there we have it another tragic ending to another tragic Itachi character.” Neji made his way swiftly to the car park.

Sasuke slowed down as they passed the life size cut outs of the main characters. Itachi’s was in the centre. He couldn’t help it he had to do it.

He pulled out a black pen and began doodling on his brother’s head. ‘I’m a giant wiener’ and ‘suck me I’m a dick’ were readable whilst ‘Uchiha woz here’ was tattooed over the crotch, slightly less noticeable.

He was still kuku ping as they pulled up outside the main gates of the Hyuuga complex.

“I will see you…what the hell is he doing here?” Sasuke pointed out the window at a certain red headed boy from their class. Neji paled.


“I have no idea…oh I know, he was asked to drop off my chem. Notes. I leant them too him…yeah that’s it!” He patted down the back of his hair as he got out of the car.

Sasuke rose an eyebrow but drove away all the same, he wasn’t going to leave his man servant the sky remote for the rest of the night.

After making sure Sasuke was gone, Neji turned to face Gaara.

“How long have you been here?” he asked the boy who was wrapped up in his tight black jumper. He looked up at the taller boy and smirked.

“About thirty minutes.” He spoke in a near whisper. Neji caught his tone and didn’t like it.

“I am not the one who has to ask permission from my girlfriend to go out.” He retorted searching for his keys.

He knew Hinata wouldn’t be home tonight, she was staying at Ino’s house.

Gaara snorted, “I don’t have to answer to Sasuke like a little lap dog every five minutes.” Neji turned back to him and glared, he hated the kid.

“Neji…Is Hinata home?” Neji paled even further, ‘so that was his reason for being here’ He cleared his throat and shuck his head.

“She’s staying with Ino and Naruto over at Ino’s I think.” He pushed the door open and had hardly stepped inside when Gaara was on him.

He pushed the other boy away to fling his keys on the table before allowing the red head to kiss him.

“Gaara, it would be better to go up…up…oh fuck it the kitchen is through here.” He tugged at Gaara’s shirt and flung it over the banister. Gaara pushed his hands inside Neji’s top as he was pulled towards the kitchen.

The kitchen surface was cold against Neji’s back but he didn’t really care he was straining his neck to deepen their kiss. He groaned slightly as Gaara managed to pull off his white shorts. “Gaara.” Gaara smirked again as he unbuckled his studded belt.

“N.e.j.i-Kun.” He whispered between short kisses. Neji lapped at the other boys neck as he caressed Neji’s torso.

“I have to leave in ten minutes, I didn’t plan on waiting an extra half an hour.” Neji whimpered as Gaara’s kisses moved further down his body.

“W…Why don’t you just, umm stay here?” Gaara stopped on his path towards his goal and looked up into Neji’s lust clouded eyes. “And what happens if Hinata finds out?” Neji sobered up a little. “If you want I could drive you back in about…. twenty minutes?”

Gaara’s smirk deepened. “Only twenty, we better get a move on.” He chuckled slightly as he felt Neji’s instant reaction.

“Gaara, do it already we don’t have time for fore play tonight.” He was getting urgent.

Gaara didn’t like being ordered around, keeping an eye on the clock above Neji’s head he worked even slower, causing himself as much as Neji to shake in anticipation and longing.

He and Neji both let out a gasp as he finally entered ‘his goal’.

XX

Kankuro sighed and looked at his watch, the last delivery could be done on his way home if he left now.

He nodded to his boss and left the room.

Climbing into his car he checked the address again, ‘Hyuuga Neji’ he shrugged, it had to be the Hyuuga residence. He reversed from the usual space and sped out to the street.

XX

Naruto slipped into the orange pyjamas and crept into Ino’s bedroom. The two girls were sat on the bed drinking the sake Ino had scrounged from the kitchen.

“Hey don’t drink it all.” He moaned slipping into the bed and wrapping himself up warmly.

Ino looked down at him and beamed. Hinata’s eyes were wide open with shock.

“You seriously look like a girl now Naruto.” Naruto glared at them both, he still wasn’t sure if he had forgiven them yet.

“Pass me the sake and stop grovelling Hyuuga.” Hinata gasped as if hurt and grinned at her friend.

“Cheers and here is to a better training day tomorrow.” Ino raised her cup and the others clocked there’s against it.

“Ino, lights out now and no more shouting.” Ino almost spat her drink out at her mother’s shout.

The three of them sniggered quietly before the snuggled down into Ino’s very pink and fluffy three poster bed. (The fourth post had broken away when Naruto last tried to perform a drunken pole dance for them.)

XX

Kankuro pulled up outside the Hyuuga’s main house where he knew Neji lived, his brother used to come here for study sessions.

He grabbed the parcel and got out of his battered old car. He frowned slightly as he noticed the front door was ajar.

He knocked on it lightly before pushing it open. He smirked as he saw the clothes strew across the entrance hall.

He leant down to place the parcel on the floor but paused mid way down as he heard whispering and gasps from the kitchen.

Being the pervert he ‘sometimes’ was Kankuro couldn’t resist. He checked all around him for other members of the Hyuuga family and tip toed across the deserted hall.

The kitchen doors slid easily open a crack and he peered in.

He clapped his hands silently over his mouth to stop him self yelling out in shock. The Hyuuga boy, Neji was sat cross legged on the kitchen top, NAKED.

Gaara, Kankuro’s younger but a lot more experienced it seems, brother was stood doing up his flies and his studded belt. He smirked up at Neji and looked at the clock above his head.

Kankuro gasped quietly but was too shocked to move, the goody, goody Neji Hyuuga. The one who never had a scratch on his record was GAY! He looked back at his brother and almost yelled in disgust, his brother was ‘also of…of that persuasion.’

He skidded back from the door way as Neji’s eyes flickered to the gap he stood peering through.

He ran out to the car and started up the ignition.

He pushed down the accelerator and looked back behind him, he was shocked to see both a half dressed Gaara and a completely naked Hyuuga stood at the door. They couldn’t have seen him because the cars head lights were shining in their eyes. Gaara held up an arm but Kankuro was already out of sight.

Gaara looked back to Neji, both of them as worried as the other. “Ne…” started but Neji had already retreated into the house picking up the discarded clothes.

“You should just go now Gaara, I don’t think I should drive you…sorry.” Gaara was furious but of course this was the way it had to be. He looked down at the floor and his eyes widened.

A parcel with the Yamanaka logo printed on it was lying on the ground. “Kankuro…” he hissed grabbing his clothes off Neji and looking at him apologetically. “Gaara, we have to… I mean we can’t…” Gaara nodded.

“I know, I have to finish with Hinata and we have to sort out my brother. We can do that right?” Neji looked away and shrugged.

Gaara sucked in a breath and nodded sharply backing away. Before he turned an ran the rest of the way, still topless he heard Neji shout something into the night air.

“I CAN’T DO THIS!”

Sasuke flicked through the channels. He was sprawled across the sofa in his bedroom staring at the ceiling. Sure he had the TV, CD players and the dance station on but the ceiling just seemed more interesting right now.

“Hot?” He jumped slightly as his man servant looked down at him. Sasuke’s eyes travelled over the man’s pale skin and to his almost completely brown eyes. “Hey, you hot?” He asked again.

Sasuke frowned not understanding the question.

William Price Phillip Montgomery Chilton Walker Junior the Third let his own eyes travel over his master’s currently naked body. “Sir, you aren’t wearing anything like!”

Sasuke nodded and smirked, he was hot about thirty minutes ago… now he was just tired and bored.

“Would you do something for me Will?” his servant nodded almost reluctantly.

Sasuke grinned evilly and licked his lips. William leant forward almost hypnotised by the Uchiha’s simple tongue action. Sasuke slowly parted his lips and began to whisper slowly.

“Willy…I want you…to GO GET ME AN ORANGE JUICE YOU PERVERT!!” W.P.P.M.C.W.J the third jumped back at the shout and fled from the room a deep blush on his usually pale cheeks.

Sasuke chuckled to himself before rolling onto his side and staring at his reflection in the mirror wall. He looked himself up and down and frowned. “Why??” he asked quietly and then shook the thought from his head getting to his feet and walking to his spa pool, full of blueberry bubbles and steamy water. He lowered himself into the lovely effervescing liquid and waited for his drink blowing bubbles off his hands.

William returned with a glass of orange juice and quickly retreated as Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him.

Looking into the glass Sasuke found himself wondering what the crazy orange Naruto was doing now. Little did he know Naruto was thinking about him too.

XX

Naruto hugged the pink fluffy pillow closer to him and wrapped his knees up so he was a little bundle of orange yellow and pink. Ino raised her eyebrows at Hinata who shrugged and they both turned back to him.

“You okay mate?” Hinata asked wiping ice cream sauce from her night dress and cleavage. She licked her finger and poked him with the same one.

He looked up, his eyes were sparkling with what looked like tears. Hinata jumped towards him and wrapped her limbs around him so now there was deep blue and purple added to the bundle.

Ino smiled softly and patted Naruto’s head as he sniffled into the cushion. “Ino, what the hell am I doing?” Hinata looked at Ino with concern as the blond tried to reply.

“You are becoming a transvestite to test your true loves sexuality!” she shrugged as Hinata winced.

“Transvestite?? Those knickers fucking kill, do you have any idea how painful it is for guy’s to cross their legs if they aren’t adjusted right?” Ino shook her head as Naruto broke away from Hinata and glared at them both.

“Well I shall tell you. It hurts a lot! In those pants I cant adjust anything if you catch my drift and if I did I would draw a lot of attention right? Why don’t you just try to seduce Sasuke?”

Hinata suddenly remembered Ino’s fathers comment earlier. “No she would prefer a certain…PA!”

Ino screeched and flicked her friend a glare. “I have Kiba now and intend to keep him. You should seduce Sasuke, you and Gaara aren’t that serious I mean you both see other people and have you ever been over his place?” Hinata narrowed her eyes and smirked evilly.

“You’re right Ino. I can’t stand him anymore!” Hinata was suddenly in tears and wrapped around a certain orange pink and yellow bundle again.

“Calm down I was joking, bunny.” Ino winced yet again as she caught sight of very pissed off blue eyes in the bundle of arms legs and cushions that was Naruto and Hinata.

“Ino, He refuses to come over to mine and he insists I’m not allowed over at his and we haven’t even… I swear he hates me!” she wailed out loud and threw herself onto Ino. Ino patted her friend’s hair down and rested her cheek on top of her head.

Naruto wriggled off the bed and crept over to the bedroom door, some serious chocolate therapy was in need here. He snuck carefully across the cottages landing and down the stairs.

He reached the kitchen and searched blindly for a light switch. He sucked in a shocked breath as he felt something furry in his grasp. He clutched and heard a sharp high pitched yelp. “Akamaru?” Naruto questioned stumbling backwards in shock as the lights came on.

Kiba was stood by the switch one leg propped up on the wall. He looked up at Naruto through narrow slits of eyes and smirked. “Hey pretty boy.” He laughed quietly and nodded towards the doors.

“I’m here to see Ino will you go tell her I’m here?”

Naruto blinked and shook his head; Kiba should have been shocked to see him here. He shouldn’t be cool with it. Every time Naruto had planned out telling Kiba about his ‘training’ Kiba had laughed at him and beaten him up.

“Your…You’re not mad with me?” Naruto twiddled his finger together and looked at the floor. Kiba sniffed and reached to pat his friend on the back but stopped himself and with drew his arm.

“Not mad, just a little freaked.”

Naruto swallowed a lump in his throat and looked up at his friend teary eyed. “You have no idea how much that means to me mate!” he launched himself at Kiba and wrapped him in a huge hug. Kiba screamed a high pitch sound a little like Akamaru’s wail and tried to push Naruto off him.

“Wait! WAIT!!” Kiba shoved him as hard a he could but couldn’t beat the other boy’s strength as Naruto chuckled grinning again. Ino and Hinata came charging into the kitchen followed closely by the many stylists and dieters living here for the week.

The woman from Naruto’s mannerisms lesson came forward and questioned him as to why he had Kiba here.

“If this is your boyfriend he can of course stay but if not I want him out!” Naruto looked at his friend who was smiling weakly and wrapped an arm around his shoulders kissing his cheek lightly. Kiba blushed but didn’t fight back as Ino clapped her hands and began jumping on the spot.

“Right what are you doing in the kitchen at this time?” asked another woman. Naruto looked to the floor and grinned sheepishly at the bunch of blond women. They all sighed at his beauty and blushed slightly.

“I was looking for the orange ice cream.”

His mannerisms tutor flared up and hissed. “EVIL!!” she shouted showing the cross sign with her fingers. She grabbed Naruto by the ear and pulled him from the room and half way back to his own room.

“No ice cream or sweet food unless obligatory or polite AND NO ORANGE.”

She let go of him and waddled back into her room. The rest of the women soon followed her and stared at Naruto as he collapsed to his knees on the stairway.

Ino and Hinata came and supported him back to the room. Kiba was in stitches at the pure look of horror on Naruto’s face. “NO ORANGE!!” Kiba laughed as Naruto wailed into another pink pillow.

XX

Gaara threw another ball of paper into the already overflowing wastepaper basket in his room. He was doodling again, the pen moved on its own as it began to depict yet another doodle of Neji in various positions. He cursed himself and screw the paper up again. He couldn’t get the Hyuuga off his mind.

“I CAN’T DO THIS!”

What did that mean? That he couldn’t be with Gaara or that he couldn’t let Gaara brake up with his cousin? Gaara brushed a hand through his hair and growled in frustration.

It was three AM and he had been up all night thinking it over, he had to brake up with Hinata. It was true he didn’t love her but he cared for her and didn’t want her to be hurt, he could only imagine what Ino would do to him if he did finish it… he was too much of a pussy.

He couldn’t finish with her. He would have to force her to finish with him, that way he wouldn’t feel guilty and he could stay friends with, well, everyone.

He sighed as he threw himself onto the black bed and fell slowly into a Neji clouded dream.

XX

Sasuke rolled onto his side and smirked in his sleep.

Naruto crossed the room in a flash and kissed him. Sasuke grabbed hold of Naruto’s face and flung him onto the bed beside him moving over so he was straddling the blond.

As he leant in to kiss him again he found himself staring into Naruto’s mascara coated eyes. He shrugged and brushed his hands through long blond locks. Wait! Long? Since when did Naruto have long hair?

Sasuke sat up, still straddling Naruto and cocked his head to the side. He raised his eyebrows a little. This Naruto was cute, he was wriggling beneath him and blushing as Sasuke’s finger ran patterns on his chest.

“Sasuke…” Naruto breathed longingly flipping himself on top.

Sasuke awoke with a start. “NOOOOOO, I’M NOT BELOW YOU!!”

He found his bedroom empty and his torso coated in a thin layer of sweat. He closed his eyes and shook his head trying to get the image of a long haired Naruto from his head.

“Damn Dobe!” He yelled storming into his bathroom to take care of a certain problem that had arisen.

XX

Naruto sat cross legged on the table worktop. Ino yawned and began to pack Hinata’s things away. Hinata had woken early to go for a run and wouldn’t be seen again before lunch.

Hinata was funny like that she always took extra long doing things, running included… according to Ino anyhow. Naruto looked at the note paper in his hands and sighed.

“It’s great that you are doing this for me and all Ino but seriously; does your family have nothing better to do in the holidays?” Ino stopped what she was doing to think, she tapped her chin and smiled.

“Nope.”

With that answer on the table she continued stuffing their dishes into the dishwasher. Naruto shook his head, sure their group was a bunch of teen rejects. But why would anyone do this? Anyone in their right mind? He smiled to himself as he re-read the day’s timetable;

9 am – Female Mannerisms
10.30 – Voice training
12 – Lunch break
1.30 – Wig fittings
2.30 – Make up artists
3pm – Clothes stylists
5PM – FINAL OUTCOME!!!!

“Ino, this timetable thingy, is this the final day or something?” Naruto questioned, they were supposed to have the whole week for him to get comfortable with the idea let alone go out in public.

“Well final day of organising, then we hit the streets to find out if our initial plans of disguise work, if they do we will just fine tune it. If they fail badly we’ll have to go over the whole bloody mess again!”

She sounded way to ‘chirpy’ about the whole fine tuning thing. Naruto swallowed hard.

“Hit the streets?”

Ino grinned menacingly (as she sometimes does). “Oh yes boy… girl... and no amount of grovelling will help you escape this one!!” Naruto gulped again and suddenly he remembered the explosion in his apartment.

“WAIT!! What happened in my apartment, when will I go back there???” He was very anxious to know where Kyuubi was as well (His stuffed fox plushy) but he didn’t let this last bit on.

“Well our cleaners went over and tidied it all up, apparently you are a slob Naruto. But everything is safe and clean. Kyuubi too” Naruto looked up at the mention of his toy.

Ino laughed and threw the fox plushy at him. “They rescued him for you!” Naruto scrunched his favourite toy into a big squeeze and instantly felt better.

XX

*Calm music and a woman’s breathing, Man’s voice over in calming tones: Just you and the road…the road is solid and leads you to where you want to go…you don’t need to know where it leads, only that you will get there eventually…*

“Dear god” *heave, heave* “Why would someone do this as a hobby?” *heave, deep breaths, heave.*

Hinata had reached the top of the cliff. She looked down at Konoha from a high and smiled, though the run had tired her out, this was a view not easily seen.

She collapsed onto her bum and took a sip of her water. She used to come up here every morning before school. This was where she had met Gaara all those years back. He had said he came up here to clear his head and draw.

She had said she came up here because she eventually turned up here whichever way she set out to run. This had started the topic of how every road in Konoha eventually ended up here on Hokage Hill.

“Why is it called that?” Gaara had asked. Hinata had replied, “Since the old days our town has grown in scale and population. Before our time there was a ruler and he had a castle on this hill that housed him and his immediate family.”

The memory of her as a child sat with Gaara brought tears to her eyes. She didn’t bother to wipe them away as they rolled freely down her cheeks.

“Contemplating my brother by any chance?” Hinata jumped and spun around.

Kankuro was sat with a bottle in a brown paper bag. He handed it to her as she nodded. She accepted, smelt it and handed it back. She may be upset but drinking wasn’t the answer.

“I thought so, I mean Neji looked… very naked and sorry to see me drive away like he regretted it or something but Gaara… no not him, that heartless sod couldn’t give a damn who he hurts.”

Hinata was a little lost, Neji naked? Gaara heartless??

“Well, I wouldn’t say heartless exactly…”

He cut her off “No your right, it takes some nerve to admit… well to admit what he has and then not to love your cousin, nah your right. He must have a heart only a girls heart. Ha yeah, that explains it he is truly a female on the inside and well I suppose we have to accept that he’s gay. I mean I have already accepted that my beloved sister is a lesbian so you know I could accept this to…”

Hinata’s mouth was open. The tears had stopped.

Gaara was what? Neji naked, in love with Neji? Heart of a girl??? She swallowed and looked back out over Konoha. She had just found out her boyfriend of two years was gay, she wasn’t even surprised. A little shocked sure but really, surprised? No.

“So that explains why he would never go the whole way… all this time I thought it was because he hated me or something. But now…now I see it wasn’t because he hated me but because he preferred Neji.”

Kankuro took another swig of his vodka and frowned at her. He had been drinking since the early hours of that morning so he was well out of it. “Wait a second, you didn’t know he was gay?”

Hinata shook her head and half smiled at the slurring Kankuro. Kankuro hit his forehead with the palm of his free hand and laughed out loud.

“Whoops! Sorry their love…. Wait he never went the whole way?” Hinata laughed at Kankuro’s incredulous look. “Not with any girl I know!” Hinata laughed along with the drunk guy as he howled at her Gaara impression.

“That was bloody brilliant! Do it again.”

“I like things…dark and dark darker!”

Kankuro was laughing so hard he had tears on his cheeks as he collapsed in the grass beside her. Hinata snatched the bottle and took a long sip. Kankuro pulled the bottle away and watched as she cringed at the taste then held out her arms for more.

“You really want to drink this shit? It’s a bad habit!” Kankuro was trying to be the responsible older guy here but instead took a long sip himself. He passed it to Hinata and lay back looking into the sky.

“My family is so fucked up.”

“Ha. You don’t have Neji to deal with, can you possibly imagine the tears when I tell him I know he’s gay?” Kankuro laughed a little and shook his head. Hinata placed the bottle down between them and lay on her back beside him.

“Seriously though, my friends are a bunch of rejects as you probably know. We have gone one step over board now though…”

She went on to explain the whole Naruto situation to him as he slowly fell asleep listening to her voice and it’s many different pitches as she imitated various people.”

XX

Naruto crossed out the sentence and re-wrote it to perfect ‘girl speak’. Ino’s mother took it and studied it. She beamed at him and drew a huge green tick across it. “My girl you have just passed mannerisms!”

Naruto grinned sheepishly as Kiba made his entrance wearing only his trousers. His hair was ruffled and his tanned skin immaculate as usual. “Got any dog biscuits?” he asked heaving himself onto the surface behind Naruto.

“I can’t see what you see in this one dear…” she turned to Kiba “We don’t have any dogs to feed and yours can go home. No offence.”

Kiba stared at the woman levelly and then smirked. He stretched, yawned and rubbed the back of his neck. He had a tattoo of a dog claw on his shoulder. Naruto had only just realised it was there. He studied it with a shocked expression and grinned as he realised Kiba’s level glare was now on him.

Slowly Naruto turned around to face Mrs. Yamanaka. “Could we have a few seconds?” he asked quietly.

She glared at Kiba then nodded and left the room. Naruto turned back to Kiba and kicked out another chair with his foot.

Kiba plonked himself down in it and rested his chin on the table looking up at Naruto. “I am hungry, Akamaru has gone off hunting… the biscuits were for me.” He added looking at Naruto square in the eye daring him to laugh.

Naruto just grinned and pushed a tin of normal biscuits across the table. Kiba instantly began to stuff his face with them; stopping now and then to glare at Naruto as he sipped his cup of tea.

“I’m not going to steal them Kiba keep your fur on. I like the tat by the way, when did you get that done?”

This did stop Kiba as he turned his shoulder for Naruto to have a better look. “I got it about two weeks ago, Ino pointed it out and said she liked the guy with tattoos in gladiator.” He grinned at Naruto and jumped up to the kitchen tap. He stuck his head under it and began to drink.

Naruto rolled his eyes “You’re an animal Kiba Inuzuka” Kiba grinned as he wiped away the excess water. “You love it Uzumaki.” Naruto grinned back and both boys were laughing as Ino entered with a questioning stare.

XX
Gaara swung on his chair. He had serious insomnia and had woken up at six to his sister’s usual screams of ‘Kankuro get your mother fucking ass down here now’ and ‘Gaara throw me my cat.’

He shook his head slightly “We don’t even own a cat.”

Temari was stood in the doorway watching her youngest brother as he stared off into space. “Gaara, there’s a call from some guy called Neji, says it’s urgent.” Gaara was out for the room in a flash and on the phone in another.

*breathe* “Neji?”

“Gaara, Hinata’s home.”

“Yeah?”

“She knows, She’s pissed.”

“I thought she would be.”

“No Gaara, I mean her and Kankuro were up Hokage Hill drinking neat vodka, how they managed to get the car here safely is anyone’s guess.”

“What the fuck?”

“That was my exact thought when they started kissing on the front step.”

“What the fuck?”

“Yeah.”

“But…?”

“Yup.”

“Oh, I’ll see you in a minute.”

“Yes you will.”

Gaara put the phone down and did a little victory dance. Temari was stood watching, she dropped the washing up brush and her mouth fell open as Gaara twirled on one foot. He saw her and stopped face dropping. “I…I saw a rat.”

He turned away and ran from the house as quickly as possible.