This is my first fanfiction at this site. Before, I have been writing at Inuyashafan.com. My username there is "neko youkai". Anyways, please send in letters to any of the following naruto character:

Naruto
Sakura
Sasuke
Kakashi
Itachi
and Orochimaru

Please use this format when sending them in.

Dear enter name here
hi, blah blah blah. what ever you wanna put here...
From,
enter your name/username/what you wanna be called here...

There might be spoilers/yaoi. Major swear words will be censored as *beep*

Remember, this is completly fictional and humor based. So send 'em in kiddies! ^_^

Yay! My first ever review!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To:sasuke
From: Gaarasgirl

Where do babys from?......i mean if you wanna have kids so much you should know!!!


~~~~~


Dear Gaarasgirl,


First of all, I.DO.NOT.WANT.TO.HAVE.KIDS.! You got that?


Itachi: Then how come you said you wanted to "restore your clan"?

Me: S..Shut up! Just shut up!


Anyways, next question...hmm, where do babies come from eh?


Me: Itachi!!!!!!!!!!!!

Itachi: What do you want? If it's your Naruto plushie back then you can just forget it!

Me: Where do babies come from?

Itachi: From the all mighty ruler of weasles of course! They use a special jutsu to generate human kinds.

Me: ...You mean that I came from a rodent?

Itachi: Pretty much...

Does that answer your question?


Sincerely scarred for life,
Sasuke

~~~~~~~~~~


Send in letters!!! woot

Hi there again! Yay, more emails and reviews! Thanks to all who have reviewed ^__^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To: Orochimaru
From: gaarasgirl+Kaiya
... what's Sex ed?i ask and i ask but nobody will tell me!!!! sasuke wont even tell me where babies come from!!! *hugs orochimaru* I NEED TO KNOW!!!!!!!!PLEASE!!!!!


~~~~~

Dear Gaarasgirl plus Kaiya,


Sex ed? Hmm...it's either a man eating pillow or a lesson about...well...um.."something" I'm pretty sure it's the second one, kabuto even tought me a little about it. *sigh* He discribed it with full detail. *shiver*
And how dare Sasuke not tell you where babies come from! Do not worry, I shall share with you the great wisdom of knowledge! *ahem* Babies come from the great ruler of snakes. they use a special jutsu to generate human kinds!


Itachi: No you idiot! It's the great ruler of weasles!!!
Me: then how come it showed a picture of a rattlesnake on the discovery cannel?
Itachi: You idiot! That was a walmart commercial for a stupid plushie!
Me: ... oh ...


Thanks for the bear hug.


Sincerely running to Walmart,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Naruto,

I have a few questions that I think best you answer *cracks knuckles*. First off, why do you have a crush on the pink haired freaky b*tch? I mean come on you can tell she had a sex change. Two why do you always say believe it? It just makes you sound stupid and even more annoying. Finally, why haven`t you gone out with Sasuke yet? He obviously has a thing for you and you make a cute couple. By the way if you don`t answer me I`ll sent Oni_Chan to your house and trust me she is crazy to the point that you might die.

The one with the chainsaw,
Rachael


~~~~


Dear Racheal,


1. Because the evil author is on crack and made me fall in love with that freak. Oh, and pink isn't her natural hair colour, blond is. *shiver* ugghh
*long pause* She had a WHAT?
What is up with characters and sex changes? I mean, haku used to be a girl, deidara used to be a girl, itachi used to be a g---


Itachi: Tell them the secret and DIE!
Me: *nervous laugh*


2. Because it has it's very own diss
Your mom is so ugly even I can't "believe it"!
Plus, it has it's very own book!
Ripley's "believe it" or not!
Sweet eh?


3. I.AM.NOT.GAY.
SASUKE.IS.GAY.
Got it?


Sasuke: *from somewhere far away* I have this strange feeling that I have to punch Naruto tomorrow for no reason what so ever.


Oni_chan? Meh, I've had worse threats from Neji Hyuuga. And trust me, he uses the byakugan for "other" reasons.


Sincerely NOT gay,
Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear: Orochimaru
From: Nikki (Nikki_Yaoi)

Did you know you're my favorite character and I love you so much? =D Anyways, that's not the question, the question is: Why'd you have to take Sasuke away? You made Naruto sad


~~~~


Dear Nikki_Yaoi,


Wow, I'm flattered! I had no idea I was your favorite character!


Me: Ha! Beat that kabuto!! I got another fangirl!
Kabuto: Who was the other one?
Me: My stuffed reindeer


Anyways, on to the question.
I took Sasuke away because I wanted him to help me fix the freezer. Kabuto's too stupid to fix it for me.
Naruto was sad? *gasp* yaaooiiiii!!!!!


Sincerely Yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


to: all the characters- do you people watch your own show?


~~~


Dear person,


No. (except for Sasuke)


Sincerely Yours,
All the Naruto characters


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochimaru,

I am a very curious fan of evil charries. Why do you have a thing for powerful little boys? First Kimimaru then your attempt at Itachi, which failed, so you went for Sasuke. I really want to know and will send my heard of crazies to your lair to attack if I don't find out.

With love,
Oni-Chan


~~~~


Dear Oni-Chan,


It's because I have this stupid freezer that needs fixing desparatly! Kabuto's too stupid and the weaklings are well, too weak to fix it. Kimimaru went to freezer school and the Uchiha's are well, "special"
(cause they have red eyes) ^_^


Sincerely Yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Send in letters! Wheeee

Yay! More emails! Thanks for reviewing! thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear *beep*, (orochimaru)
I was wondering how you could just hiring those men to kill my mom and sisters?
From your hating daughter, Tatsumi Ayama



~~~~~


Dear Tatsumi Ayama


You're my daughter? I don't remember ever *cough* *cough* or something like that. Hmm, must be from that sleepover with kabuto. Anyways, sure I'll force those idiots from my stupid village to kill your mom and sister. Make sure you don't leave any DNA evidence when escaping. You don't wanna know about my attemps to kill the hyuugas.



From Your Mothe-- err......father,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To:sasuke
From: gaarasgirl
well whadda ya mean by "revive the clan " then? are you just gonna run around sceaming 'till ya wake the dead or somethin? *send orochimaru hugz*


~~~~~


Dear Gaarasgirl,


What wrong with my plan to run around konoha screaming "bloody murder"? It'll work right? RIGHT? I mean, neji did it and look at hinata! She's living again! Oh, and orochimaru is an idiot. he killed the Hyuugas. People who kill clans are *beeeps*


Sincerely running around screaming,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To: Sasuke
From: Aquia

Do you still chew on your toes?
What happened to the stick up your A**?


~~~~~


Dear Aquia,


1. No.


2. If I tell, will you give me your address?


Sincerely pissed off,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Haku,

Okay, Haku, I love ya and all but I want to know the age old question: Are you a girl or a boy? And don't get all huffy at me, I want solid proof that you are in fact a guy. If not you shall never see Zabuza again, I have my ways.

With love (and sugar),
Oni-Chan


~~~~~


Dear Oni-Chan,


What part of I.AM.DEAD do you not get? And if you really wanna know,


I
AM
A
Girlllllbbboooooyyyyy! Ha ha! You thought I was ganna say girl eh?
I'm a boy! And I'd show you proof but this IS a PG rated fanfiction isn't it? heh heh, nice try yaoi fangirl


Sincerely a boy,
Haku

P.S. Zabuza's dead too

~~~~~~~~~~


To: Itachi
From: Nikki

Itachi-kun, do you have a thing for your little brother or Naruto? I mean seriously, the way you look at them is creepy. (Oh and by the way, Orochimaru is so much cooler then you n3n So is Kisame =D)


~~~~~


Dear Nikki,


No, I don't have a thing for Sasuke or Naruto. What ever made you think I do?


Kisame: Um...they fact that you stalk them, blush whenever you see them, did everything to protect them from harm, and ----
me: Shut up! Go *beep* a dolphine you walking fishstick!


Anyways, no, I DO NOT have a thing for them. And even if I do, it will be non-yaoi.


Kisame: suuuuurrreeee
Me: I said to go *beep* a dolphine already!


And I am WAYYYY cooler than snakey-wakey and fishstick over there! Why? Because I'm an Uchiha ^_^ so there!


Sincerely Yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wheee! Send in your emails!!!

OMG! So many reviews and letters! yayyyy! Lets get started shall we?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sakura

I hate you, why won`t you give up on Sasuke? And why can`t you either go out with Lee or die?

With All the Hate in the World, Your Enemy,
Nikki


~~~~~


Dear Nikki,


Great, another Sakura hater. *sigh* Why must I be so hated?


Ms. Haruno: Uhh, cause you're an idiot?
Sakura: *gasp* Mommy! How could you?
Ms. Haruno: Because, you're an idiot. You're a total discrase to the Haruno family and I can't believe I gave birth to such a useless, Sasuke obsessed, ignorent *beep*


WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!


Sincerely to depressed to answer questions,
Sakura


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,

Did you know your my favorite since we grew up together? Any ways way did you kill your clan and leave after I left and you promised to stay in the village until I returned? I was only gone for 5 f*cking years and I come back to see that your a damn murder that joined the Akatsuki and made Sasuke go crazy with thoughts of revenge. Your sooooo mean, Itachi-kun!

Your Old (and always will be) Friend,
Mayu


~~~~~


Dear Mayu,


Ah yes, the age old question again. "why did I kill the clan" Well Mayu, here's a flashback. It will explane everything.


Itachi's flashback:


Itachi: Mommy, can I get a playstation 2 please?
Mikoto: No. Sorry
Itachi: *sniffle* awwww


*Later that night, Itachi thought of a great plan*


Itachi: hmm...I wonder how much death insurence money I'll get if the whole clan died...


*Itachi went to work on his "great" plan*


Itachi: *kill kill* die die die die die! ^__^ wheee!
Sasuke: b..brother?
Itachi: Oh, hi there little bro. Hmm...you're only 7 eh? Dang it! You're too young to have insurence money! *sigh* Nevermind in killing you I guess. *moves on to others*


*The next day, Itachi went to future shop*


Itachi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE OUT OF PLAYSTATION 2??????????
Shop owner: I'm sorry, but that "akatsuki" group bought the last one.
Itachi: *sigh* Well, I guess I'll go to this "akatsuki" place then.
Shop owner: Alright...
Itachi: But before I go, *kills shop owner* haha! sucker!


End of Itachi's flashback


I hope that explanes a lot.


Sincerely playing super mario,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sakura

I hate you, why don't go jump off a cliff? I mean you seem smart, but are you really just getting the answers from some secret source? Is pink really your hair color and why do you have such a large forehead?

with love,
Jessica


~~~~~


Dear Jessica,


WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *still to depressed to answer from the last letter*


Naruto: No, pink isn't her natural hair colour, blonde is. And no she can not jump off a cliff because then I won't be able to kill her myself in order to avenge my plushie Mr. wuffy kins the third. She have a large forehead because her middle name is "bloop" which in dog language means "giant forehead girl." I'm smart arn't I? ^_^


Sincerely stupid,
Sakura Bloop Haruno


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sasuke,

what condoms do you use?

sincerely,
Jessica


~~~~~


Dear Jessica,


It's the yummy purple one with th--HEYYYY!!!!! What kind of question is that?


Sincerely blushing,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochimaru,

My friend Tatsumi Ayama wasn`t asking if you could kill her mother and sisters, she was asking WHY you had them killed! F*cking snake!!! And F*CK you for killing my entire clan you b*stard!!!!!!!!!!

Your bigest hater,
Mayu


~~~~~


Dear Mayu,


Ohhhhhh! That! Well you see, I needed to get enough insurence money to buy a game cube.


Itachi: Playstation 2 is wayyyy better though!
Me: Shut up weasel-face!


And sorry for killing your entire clan. I didn't mean it and well, I'm SOOOO sorry!!


Itachi: WTH?? OROCHIMARU!!!!!
Me: What?
Itachi: You arn't suppose to say THAT! Say this instead! *whisper whisper*


Oh, actually. I ment to say this.
Foolish little hater of mine, if you wish to kill me, hate me, detest me, and survive in an unsitely way, run, run and cling to your lollipop.


Me: Is that better Itachi?
Itachi: *sigh* Orochimaru you SUCK!


Sincerely yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Itachi,
Did you ever notice you don't get much love in the show? I mean seriously. They just show you like once then toss you to the side. And come on, you're one of the cooler characters (But you'll never beat Neji!!! HAHA!!!) on the show. SHOW SOME AUTHORITY AND DESTORY SOMETHING WITH YOUR SHARINGAN! (Cuz it makes you special ^^)
Sincerely,
Xena (You know who I am)


~~~~~


Dear Xena,


I..I don't get much love? *sob* But I thought I was special!!!!! WAHH!!! Stupid hyuugas! Why must you surpass my coolness? WHYYYY!!!


*5 minutes later*


Okay, I've killed the Hyuugas, Aburames, Inuzukas, Yamanakas, And half the population of Konoha with my sharingan. *phew* I'm exhausted, I need a tylenol.


Sincerely running to the pharmacy which is destroyed,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sakura,


Deadly Dream wants you to talk about your sex change and how you dyed your hair.


From,
Neko Youkai


~~~~~


Dear Deadly Dream,


The sex change didn't go so well. You see, I was a porcupine but somehow I turned into a human girl by some weird weasle thingy....or was it snake?


Itachi: It was lord Weasle-face!
Orochimaru: No! It was lord Snakey-wakey!


And How I dyed my hair? Hmm, easy, I just rolled around in bubblegum 24/7


Sincerely yours,
Sakura Bloop Haruno


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To-Itachi
From-Rika Suriki

Itachi-san....Why did you kill your loved family???And why didn't you kill Sasuke while you were at it???And are you a Female???I WANNA KNOW!!!
Thanx!!! Also Yondaime is 100.000.000 times cooler and stronger than you (in my opinion!!)



~~~~~


Dear Rika Suriki,


1. I wanted the playstation 2 which I never got because of the stupid akatsuki people and that dang future shop guy!


2. He was too young to have insurence money


3. No.


Kisame: Yes you are! Your birth certificate shows all!
Me: As said in the last chapters, go *beep* a dolphine kisame!!!!


Yondaime has just been added to my "to kill" list


Sincerely to dumb to realize that yondaime's dead,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To:Sakura
From:Aquia
My question is why the hell are you obsessed with a pretty boy (who by the way is gay) that still chews on his toes and has a stick up his A**?
Sincerely yours,
The one who's not in love with the gaywad, Aquia*^_^*
P.S.
Tell Sasuke that he can NOT have my address!!!!! Grrrrrrr.....


~~~~~


Dear Aquia,


Yay! My first letter that's not a Sakura hating letter! Anyways, I love him because he's rich. That is all.


Sasuke: *from far away* WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!


He does what? O__O EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!


Sasuke: *still far away* THAT"S NOT TRUE!!!


Sincerely yours,
Sakura Bloop Haruno

P.S. He says okay, but he wants your postal code at least


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To:sasuke
From: gaarasgirl+Aquia
okay sasuke tell what happened to the stickup your a$$ if you clam up i will chase you down with my Maybellinne kit and if you dont scream i will videotape your makeover then play it on MTV to the song; Girls dont like boys. gott it????

2nd half: TO:Orochimaru
could you plz tell sasuke he cant waken his ancestors by running around screaming? ((i wanna see chibi sasukes!!!!))


~~~~~


Dear gaarasgirl and aquia,


M....Maybellinne? *shiver* I don't wanna go near that thing ever again! ugghhh....the horror!! Same with the hyuugas! ugghhh....the byakugan! *shivering*
And that stick? Oh, right, THAT! Well you see, it got stuck and um *blush* Naru-chan tryed pulling it out and well.....GIMMI YOUR DANG ADDRESS ALREADY!


Sincerely Yours,
Sasuke


Dear Same people,


I told him and he's cutting himself on myspace...again.


Sincerely Yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHEEEE!!!! Send em in!!! ^__^

OMG! Thank you for the emails! I wuv you so much!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
Have you ever had a 'thing' for one of your fellow Akatsuki members? If so, who? Cause one of my friends think you and Kisame have something going on, I sorta think that, but oh well. Oh, and can you tell Deidara that I LOVE HIM!! Hehe, Thanx
With Love
~ Akina



~~~~~


Dear Akina,


Of course not! What ever made you think that? Besides that whole stuff I wrote in my diary page fourteen chapter seven. Cause well, um...someone dared me to! Yeah, let's go with that.
No, I DO NOT have anything for Kisame. He is a shark. I am a weasle. Sharks and weasle don't go together. Especially not during mating season. Got it?
And yes, I will tell him. Right after chess club with Tobi. Tee hee.


Sincerely Yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,

Your lame, you should have gone for a Wii or PS3! Anyways, to the question, I still think you have a thing for Naruto and Sasuke, why won`t you just admit it?

Love,/
Nikki

P.S: Tell Kisame I love him, because he is so totally cool, unlike you!

2nd part:
Dear Orochi-kun,

I was wondering, why do people hate you? :c You should get more love, I think they are all just jealous you are so powerful. -glomps-

With all the love in the world,
Nikki
PS- Tell Kabuto that he should be careful when he is fighting, the glass in his glasses might go into his eyes one day. D:


~~~~~


Dear Nikki,


What the Sassy-chan is a Wii?


Sasuke: It stands for William In Iceland
Me: Who's William?
Sasuke: Your crush back in high school
Me: O_O Shut up sassy-chan!


Anyways, I.DO.NOT.HAVE.ANYTHING.FOR.NARUTO.AND.MY.LITTLE.BROTHER.GOT.IT?
And I'm not admitting it! (unless you give me a cookie)


Sincerely Yours,
Itachi

P.S. He says thank you in sharkenese language


~~~


Dear Same person,


I'm not sure why people hate me. I mean, all I did was try to destroy konoha, join akatsuki, and wipe out the hyuuga clan five times. That's not so bad, don't you think so too?
And I love the way you think! Of course they're jeolous! I'm the all mighty snakey-wakey! Muhaha!


Sincerely Yours,
Orochimaru


P.S. He says he'll take your advice next time he trys to kill someone.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear uhhh....Kakashi(since no one will talk to you),

Yo. (holds up a familiar orange book)
Hmmm, why are you always later? Do you have constipation or something? Are you ever going to ask Iruka out? And I got an extra copy of the new Icha Icha Paradice book, you want it? Oh and look out for Oni_Chan and Sasuke_Luvr, they are very pissed at you. You should remember why.

Proble your only fans(since no one writes to you),
Deady and my OCs


~~~~


Dear Deadly and OCs,


Oh Em Gee! My precious make out paradise! I love you! Will you marry me?


Naruto: uhh....kakashi sensei?
Me: Oh, sorry.


Ahem, Back on track...



1. I always get lost on the road known as elm street but I call it the road known as life because it sounds cool.


2. No.


3. I'll ask him out when pigs fly


Ino: *up in the sky* Hi there kakashi san!
Me: O__O errr


4. *too busy drooling to answer*


Ohhh, is it that incident back in kindergarden? I remember it now.
Look you two, I.DID.NOT.STEAL.YOUR.PLAYDOH! Gaara did!


Sincerely Yours,
Kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear DEIDARA,

I`m going to ask you the age old question, ARE YOU A GIRL??????????????????
I mean come on, your to pretty to be a boy and if you are a boy then Naruto was telling the truth and you did have a sex change. And why do you always say un and yeah at the end of every sentance? It`s so KAWAII!!!!

The friend of your stalker,
Rachael (Deadly)


~~~~~


Dear Racheal,


I'll answer when pigs fly!


Kakashi: That's not ganna work
Me: Doh'


Okay, I'm a girl if you people are so eager to find out.
Naruto was lying, I didn't have a sex change! Happy?


Chouji: Hey Ino! What are you doing in Akatsuki?
Me: O_O S..shut up chouji! *nervous laugh*
Chouji: Why do you always change your clothes? And why'd you draw mouthes on your hands? and why'd you ------ *gets shot*
Me: You didn't hear anything....


I say un and yeah because it annoys itachi. And what could be more fun than annoying itachi!

Sincerely NOT ino,
Deidara

P.S. yeeaahhhh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kisame,

has any one you have passed asked if your a mermaid? Because you would think they would and if you are be careful around my cousin, she thinks mermaids grant wishes even though I told her 10 times that they don`t she won`t listen. If you are blue does that mean when you hold your breathe you get a normal human skin color?

Your fan,
Mayu

P.S. Tell Itachi I love him and want him to come back to the village, please.


~~~~~


Dear Mayu,


Mermade? Nah, the only things I've been called before are goldfish, squidward, fishstick, sharkey, and jaws.

Gee, good job on destroying a famous childhood belief!

I'm not blue, I'm actually purple underneath. I only seem blue because of the deoderant's side affects on sea creatures.


Sincerely Yours,
Kisame

P.S. He says when Ino stops annoying him by saying un and yeah all the time.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sasuke,

Will you grow your hair out? And if you do, you should add red highlights... Or maybe you should style your hair differently and make your bangs all red and leave the rest of your hair black!!!!!!!

Sincerely,
Jessica

P.S. If you kill Itachi, you'll probably have enough money for a PS3 AND a Wii!!!!


~~~~~


Dear Jessica,


If i do, I'll look like Sakura. uggghhhhhh. Sure don't want THAT to happen. It's bad enough she's a flamingo in discuise. *shiver*


Sincerely Yours,
Sasuke

P.S. Itachi's the one who wants the game. I just want revenge for my plushie.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kisame,

Can I meet your mother? Is she a fish or a shark or a human?

with love,
Jessica



~~~~


Dear Jessica,


Do you know that new pet shop that opened last Tuesday? Well, when you go in it, turn right at the dog food department and go straight untill you see the giant aquirum. She's the blue and purple one with the snotty attutude. And if she's not there, then she's probably at seaworld. (or flushed down a toilet)


Sincerely Yours,
Kisame


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To-Naruto
From-Rika Suriki (I am a Uzamaki fan!!!)

Naruto-san....Have you ever known that Yondaime is your father???I know!!!So Iam telling you!!!Yondaime which is the 4 hokage is your dad!!!Yondaime is your father!!I repeat once more!!!Yondaime is your father!!!!!!!!


~~~~~


Dear Rika Suriki,


D..D...Daddy? O_O
Well, that explanes the star wars music in the background. He's the fourth hokage? Sweet! Beat that konohamaru!


Sincerely running to the dead daddy,
Naruto

P.S. OMG DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *glomp*


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


to-Naruto
from-fire fox 2000(puppy)
dear naruto,
is Yondaime your real father?are you gay if so who are you haveing an affair with?
2 part Sakura-yo sacura I think you are a BEEPING B****. why do you still go after sasuke.I think Garra-kun is better. GARRA-KUN IS MINE!!!!!!!!
3 part Sasuke-is it true you like naruto if so why? why do you want to kill your brother?I like Garra-kun better.
4 part Kakashi- why do you read ichaicha paridise and do you like iruka?
5 part Itachi-why did you not kill sasuke and do you still love him? my friend thinks you are hot and smexy
and last Orochimaru-.........are you pedophilic ? why do you like sasuke so much?


~~~~~


Dear Fire Fox,


1. *points at Rika Suriki's letter* Does that explane it?


2. No. I'm perfectly straight.


Second part:


I go after him because he's rich, he's emo, and he's well...RICH!


3 Part:

No, He's a dobe, a loser, a total idiot! and a super stupid dork head!!!!!
*wispers* don't worry naru-chan, I didn't mean it.
I wanna kill Itachi because he *sob* he..he ate mr.snuggle face!!!!!!!!! WAHHHH!!
gaara carrys milk in his gourd, just to let you know. I heard it from neji and temari.


4 part:


Because it has porn involved...mmm....pornnnnn....
And no, I don't..


5 part:


He didn't have enough insurence money so it'll be a waste killing him.
And no, I hate him because he wants to kill me...make sense?
Wow, I'm flattered by your friend. Tell her I said hi.


Last Part:


No.
And I like him because he's rich, he's emo, and well..rich......


Sakura: hey! That's what I said!
Me: Well well, competition eh?


Sincerely Yours,
Naruto characters


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Uchihas,
(cause we all know Ita secretly lives in some hidden room at the Uchiha compound)
Sasuke, why do you have a stick up your a*s and who shoved it there? Hmmm? I'm very curious. Oh and by the way I hate you and wish death upon you. Please tell who ever shoved that stick there they are a dumbass cause they missed your black hole of a heart.
Itachi, why did you have to kill all those clans you meanie? Neji, Shino, and Kiba's combined smexiness could out weigh yours and you killed them! Are you just jelous and trying to remain one of the smexy gods?

With love (and hate for Sasuke),
Oni-Chan


~~~~~


Dear Oni-Chan,


Well SOMEONE'S being a total Uchihacest!


Itachi did it, why else would I wanna kill him?


Naruto: To avenge your lil plushie?
Me: oh...
Naruto: Plus your clan?
Me: O__O OMG! My beautiful clan! What happend to it? WAHH!!!


*too depressed to answer rest of letter*
*Itachi comes*


I killed them because not only do I wanna buy a playstation 2, but also a super mario game! And the death insurence money from one clan didn't really cover it. So I went for the others.


Sincerely Yours,
Uchihas


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Lee(the one person no one cares about),

Why do you have to be a mini Gai? 1 is bad enough for the world but 2!!!! I think instead of going for the sex chaging bitch Sakura you should go out with Hinata. You would make a cute couple. Even if you are creepy looking.

Not your fan,
Rachael


~~~


Dear Racheal,


Gai is youthful and if I was a mini gai, then I would also be youthful. Do you get it? My youthful friend.
Hinata is too shy and therefore not youthful at all. Sakura on the other hand IS youthful even if she is a he.


Sincerely Youthful,
Rock Lee


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To-Sasuke
From-Rika Suriki

Sasuke.....do you have at thing for Naruto???Are you gay???And why are you a F***ing emo???


~~~


Dear Rika Suriki,


1. No.


2. No.


3. Because my brother ate mr. snuggle face


Sincerely emo,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And there you have it! Wow, this took me 3 hours to complete. O_O The response letters in the next chapters might be a little shorter...
Send em in kiddies!

Dear Naruto,

why the hell did you think a Giant Frog would help you defeat Neji? I mean come on Neji is good, but hell you don't need a frog to win.

From Ayama


~~~


Dear Ayama,


Because frogs come from the ramen family and everyone knows that ramen is the ultimate weapon to defeat everything! Believe it!
Plus, they're tasty...especially when you put some garlic with herbs on them and chiken with a side order of beef and---okay, I'll shut up


Sincerely Yours,
Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Dear Sakura,

Personally, you're one of my favourite characters. Don't listen to the haters, they don't know how to be introspective. Now, onto my question. Why are you so hung up on Sasuke? He is a walking freezer! I think you should find someone better. Except for Shino, he's mine.

Sincerely, Alcestis


~~~~


Dear Alcestis,


Awwww, I'm flattered! Thank you sooo much! Will you marry me?


Ms. Haruno: Let's not go THAT far Sakura
Me: Awwwww


Anyways, I thought I answered that in my other letters. I love him because he's rich. Think of how much death insurence money from his clan he has! *drool* moneyyyy


Sincerely Yours,
Sakura Bloop Haruno


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kakashi,

No I won`t marry you, I love the sex god Itachi! *glomps Itachi*

Not yours,
Deadly


~~~


Dear Deadly,


WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WON'T MARRY ME?
Gosh! Some people have no respect for perverts!
Why does Itachi get all the fangirls?


Itachi: Cause I'm an Uchiha ^__^
Me: WAS Itachi, WAS


Sincerely (wanting to be) Yours,
Kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sasuke.

Your hair looks like a chicken's butt. One more thing. I was reading gossip in a recent edition of Shinobi Weekly and it said you're one of Orochimaru's sex slaves. Is this true? Or are you Kabuto's sex slave?

Sincerely (not really), Alcestis


~~~


Dear Alcestis,


IT.DOES.NOT.LOOK.LIKE.A.CHICKEN'S.BUTT!!!!! You got that?
And don't listen to that stupid weekly, everything there is untrue. Except for Sakura being a boy.
No, I don't like Orochimaru OR kabuto. I like naru---er....no one! Yeah, NO ONE!


Sincerely Yours,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


NEJI!!

Why do you have long hair? Have you ever try to cut it? If so was it ugly? Is that mark on your head a tatto or sharpie? GO OUT WITH GAARA!!!!!!!!!!

Always Itachi`s,
Mayu


~~~


Dear Mayu,


It's long because it attracts fangirls. And nether, I used crayola washable marker. That's why I'm afraid of the rain. Note: WASHABLE
And I'll ignor the yaoi comment


Sincerely Yours,
Neji


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Hi this is Ayama Tatsumi again for another letter to Orochimaru

Dear F**king A**wipe,

Why did you starve me for two months? Why Did you lock me up when I was five!? What the hell is wrong with you?! and I'm going to kill you will that be a problem?

Your Number one pissed off Daughter Ayama


~~~


Dear Ayama,


Um......he did it! *point*


Micheal Jackson: No I didn't!
Me: Yes you did daddy!
Micheal Jackson: *grone*


And no, you can not kill me. Why? Because....I AM..YOUR FATHER!


Sincerely Yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To Sasuke,

Hi Sasuke! Why do you wear arm bands is it to hide your cutter secret?!

From Ayama

To Tsunade,

Why do you always gamble when you know you'll just lose?

From Ayama

To Orochimaru,

Your a bastard I hate you why do you have to be so mean?

From Ayama

To Itachi,

Are you gay?

From Ayama


~~~~~


Dear Ayama,


It's called "arm warmers" and no I don't cut myself.
I wear it to look retro.


Sincerely yours,
Sasuke


Dear Same person,


No, I win sometimes. Lets see, there's this time i won a quarter from lotto 6/49. Pretty good eh?


Sincerely yours,
Tsunade


Dear same person,



Because I wanna attract a certain Uchiha


Kabuto: O_________O
Me: oops....
Kabuto: WAHH! You dumped me!!!! WAHHHH
Me: *hands you a cookie*
Kabuto: Oh okay! ^_^


Sincerely Yours,
Orochimaru


Dear Same person again!


Only with Kisame


Sincerely Yours,
Itachi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHEEEEEE!!!! send!

woot
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sasuke,

oh sorry then hehe well anyways I'm not an annoying fangirl that's gonna ask "will you marry me? I'll help you rebuild your clan!" I have more respect for myself... well anyways in Naruto Hurricane Chronicles the Kuuybi states that your as strong as your ancestor Madara is this true?

From Ayama


~~~


Dear Ayama,


Thank you for respecting my virginity.


*long pause*


WAHH! I havn't had a fangirl ask me to marry them in 2 hours! Losing...popularity! Will you marry me ayama? You'll say yes right? RIGHT? *eye twitch*


*long pause*


Ahem, anyways, sorry for that.
And yes, I'm wayyy powerful than that Madara kid! *flips hair*


Sincerely yours,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To Kabuto,

How did you and my bastard father meet?

From Ayama


~~~


Dear Ayama,


Ever since kindergarden. We were in the same class. *sigh* It was love at first sight!


Sincerely Yours,
Kabuto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kakashi,

Don`t bad mouth Itachi, don`t make me attack you.

Itachi`s,
Rachael (Deadly)


~~~


Dear Racheal,


Itachi Itachi Itachi! Why is it always about Itachi? Just because he's rich, popular, hott, smexy, powerful, awesome, and cool, doesn't mean that perverts arn't great!


Sincerely Yours,
Kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Shikamaru,

First off, I luv ya, you're uber kawaii! Ok so heres my question cause your a genious and all-
If a train leaves Konoha at 12:49pm and anoth train leaves Sound at 7:55pm, when will they crash and where and how will Sasuke die? Blow up or like crushed?

The curious one,
Oni-Chan


~~~


Dear Oni-Chan,


The train will crash at 9:46 pm when Deidara decides to blow it up for stealing that cookie back in kindergarden.
Sasuke will get glomped to death by a mob of raging fangirls on crack at exactly 7:29 pm, one week from now.
7 days sasuke! 7 DAYS!!!!!


Sincerely smart,
Shikamaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To: Sasuke Uchiha
From: gaarasgirl

Why do you keep asking for girls addresses????????


~~~


Dear gaarasgirl,


Cause I'm a stal---errr....I refuse to answer that unless you gimmi your address!


Sincerely Yours,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The following huge bunch of letters are by chri_uchain_waterfox


To:
Sasuke
In some stories I have read..You had a thing for Sakura or either Naruto-san.....You HAVE TOO pick one....Or suffer the concerquences..
P.S.Tell Naruto-san.....I LIKE RAMEN!!!!



~~~


Hmm....I will have to go with Sakura because I'm not gay.


Me: Naru-chan! This person likes ramen!
Naruto: SWEEEEEEEEET!
Me: By the way, I didn't mean what I said about Saku-baka.
Naruto: It's alright Sassy-chan!


Sincerely Yours,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Sakura
You are AWSOME!!!!in timeskip you train under Tusande and defeat Sasori from the Akatuski!!!!And marry Sasuke!!!
P.S. Not just for the money....


~~~


Thank you! I AM very awesome arn't I?
And I've been trying to marry him for years now but all HE cares about is his stupid "naru-chan"


Sincerely awesome,
Sakura Bloop Haruno


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Naruto-san
Naruto!!!You are F***ing AWSOME!!!!Also MARRY HINATA!!!!!!Ddid you know she likes you?? And make sure you don't let her faint!!.....And I am sure Sasuke told you that I like ramen.....
P.S.I like ramen as much as you do..But can't slurp it down in like...3 seconds...And one bowl is enouch for me!!!!


~~~


Thank you!
She like me? O_O Wow, no wonder she stalks me at midnight!
Yeah he told me. *sigh* Sassy-chan....*takes on a dreamy look*
Yay! I am still the king of ramen! Believe it!


Sincerely Yours,
Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Itachi
Why won't you ever cut your hair???I want to know what you look like when your hair is cutted...??


~~~


It looks like Sasuke's hair. You see, when an Uchiha's hair is not long, it's back part sticks up like a chiken's butt. That's just the way it is.


Sincerely Yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Ori-chan
You are cool!!!!And do you have a thing for Kabouto???Youmknow he reads Icha Icha paridise!!!
P.S.He learns how to make out by reading it!!!>.


~~~


Why yes I AM very cool eh?
No. *shifty eyes*
He does?
He knows how to make out? *smirk*


Sincerely Yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Sasuke-I hate you...Why won't you marry Sakura??Shes really powerful!!!She trains under Tusande!
P.S.Naruto-san is way cooler than you!Tell him that!


~~~


I hate you more...CHA!
Yeah, but I train under the ruler of all snakes! double CHA!


Sincerely Yours,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Sakura-You're Awsome!!Why do you marry Sasuke for just his money???Thats just plain stupid!


~~~


Because money rules! Money created the world!


Itachi: No! Weasles did!
Oro: Nu uh! Snakes did!


Sincerely Yours,
Sakura


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Kakashi
You suck....PERV!!!!F***ing PERV!!!
P.S.Even tough yo are a pervy guy......
um.....I like you A BIT!!!I'm somewhat


~~~


I do not suck! Vacuums suck!
You like me? WHEEEE!!! beat that Itachi!


Sincerely Yours,
Kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Naruto-Naruto-san You are AWSOME!!!I like ramen!!!Whats you're adress???And Yondaime...Your daddy.......Well....um...Anou...Hes alive....You should read my story Naruto chat room and o chapter 4 I guess....
P.S.Again..YOU'RE AWSOME
And Marry Hinata!!She lovvvvvvvves you!



~~~


1. Thank you
2. I know already!!!!!!!!!!
3. 168 central street, konoha
4. O________O
5. Thank you again
6. My heart belongs to Sas-- er....nevermind *shifty eyes*


Sincerely Yours,
Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Kakashi-Perv perv perv.....Why you read those books???Marry someone like.......I dunno



~~~


It's educational.....
No, I'm a virgin and will remain virgin....unless Sasuke of course....hmm....
*cough* Nevermind...forget what I said.....I'm a virgin


Sincerely Yours,
Kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PHEW! That was long!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochi-kun,

Did you know you are now married to me? c: So touch Kabuto and I will glomp you with my super glomp of doom. And don`t worry about those stupid haters >o -gives you big snake plushie-

I love you,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


O_O I'm married to you???
Thanks for the plushie! I will call it Oro-junior


Sincerely Yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sasuke, Naruto, and Itachi,

Itachi, Sasuke, I`ll give you both a cookie if you admit you like Naruto-kun ;D
And Naruto, if you had to choose between the two, who would you choose?

With Love for Naruto and Sasuke, and pure hate for Itachi,
Nikki


~~~~


Dear Nikki,


*too busy fighting over Naruto to answer*


Naruto: Go Sassy-chan! Whee! I feel special!


Sincerely,
Itachi, Sasuke, and Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


to-naruto
from-fire fox 2000(puppy)
rika suriki is my sis (little)did you hear what sasuke wrote about you? I think he is gay tell him that.


~~~


Dear Fire fox 2000,


Yeah I know, he's always gay. Ever since that sex ed class with Iruka!


Sincerely Yours,
Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


2 part sasuke
remember the part when you said "don't worry naru-chan, I didn't mean it" you achually admitted that you are gay hahahahahahahahaha.GARRA-KUN DOES NOT CARRY AROUND MILK IN HIS GOURD!!!TAMARIE AND NEJI ARE *BEEPING* WRONG!!!
P.S.who is mr.snuggle face and how did itach eat him (I mean raw, felayed, tosted,baked fried,ect.)
3 part itache why did you eat sasukes mr.snuggle face?
4 part neij
just to write to you because of a friend in her words I THINK THAT YOU ARE HOT AND SMEXY NEIJ-KUNE*SGUEAL*


~~~


2 part,


If you tell anyone, I'll add you to my "to kill" list.
Mr. Snuggle-face is my care bear plushie. Itachi stuffed him in a tupperware container and then -- *sob sob* Oh it's too horrible to tell! WAHH!


3 part,


It was seasoned with garlic and pepper!!! I couldn't resist!!!!
Besides, Lord weasle-face told me to!


4 part,


I'll add you to my "to date" list as soon as I finish killing Hinata.


Sincerely Yours,
Sasuke, Itachi, and Neji


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Hinata-chan,

I think we make a good couple. I absolutely love you, and I won't ignore you like that kid in the orange jumpsuit.

Your greatest fanboy,
Hunter

Ps. I'm writing a fanfic about your daughter. it's called the Hyuuga/Uzumaki child. It would be an honor if you would comment it, my love ^_^


~~~


Dear Hunter,


I..I..I'm flattered! T..Thank you! *blush* Um....*plays with fingers* Will....You marry me??!?!!!?!!?! *blush*
*runs like hell*


*20 minutes later*


Oh, sorry about that....I'm just going through my "shy" moment here.....


Sincerely Yours,
Hinata


P.S. Sure I'll read/comment your story!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When sending in letters, please don't use the "part 1, part 2," format. If you want to send letters to more than one character, use more than one review. Thankies! ^__^

Whee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Kakashi,

Quit reading those books! please?

From Ayama


~~~~~


Dear Ayama,


But books give you knowledge!!!! And what could be better than knowledge?


Sincerely Yours,
Kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sasuke,
Seriously, you should give up on killing Itachi, you know its never gonna happen. Plus, I mean, come on what kind of all-powerful-avenger sleeps with a snake plushie! (besides Kabuto)
Will always hate you,
Akina


~~~~~


Dear Akina,


1. What? No way! He ate my Mr. Snuggle-face! I mean dude, I bought that rare care bear plushie off of ebay for 7.99!!! That's a heck of lot of money!!!!


2. The kind that's ganna kick Itachi's @ss!!!


3. Kabuto's not an avenger. Only the elite can be avengers *flips hair*


Sincerely Yours,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochimaru,

Yes, you are married to me now n_n Besides, I have a suspicion Kabuto isn`t trustworthy, like when he tried to kill Sasuke! OMG! OMG! Know what? I`ve been wondering why you wuit the Akatsuki? :c Did that mean Itachi make you? -big lynx hug-

Love,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


Of course Kabuto isn't trustworthy! He couldn't even fix my freezer!


Me: Kabuto!
Kabuto: What?
Me: Leave Sasuke alone!!!! Before I rip your lungs out and put them in chop suey!
Kabuto: O_O Y..Yes Orochimaru sama


Derrr.....I didn't quite get the last part...


Sincerely Yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Naruto-kun,

If Sai asked you out, would you accept? I`m just wondering. (Even though I so agree that you belong with your 'Sassy-chan') And do you think Itachi is even half as hot as Sasuke-kun?

Love,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


1. Only if he's Sassy-chan in discuise!


2. Well...he IS Sassy-chan's older brother....hmm, lemme think about it...


Sasuke: WHAT? Naruto! How could you?
Me: Oh, sorry...


Nope, Sassy-chan's wayyy hotter than he is!


Sakura: Naruto, you DO know that you've just admitted to everyone on narutofic.org that you're gay right?
Naruto: O___O I did?
Sakura: Yes, you did
Naruto: O____O
Sakura: Oh, and this is for liking MY rich dude! *punch*


Sincerely beat up,
Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi-baka,
You know Itachi, I love you to a small degree, but I`m still angry at you, so you don`t get anymore cookies until, well, you give Sasuke money! Yes, lots and lots of money! -cracks knuckles- Do it...or else...

Sharpening her kunai,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


What? *sniffle* No more cookies? *watery eyes* fine....no more cookies for me then! *sob sob* I'm not giving him his money back untill he stops killing me for eating mr. snuggle-face!


Sincerely preparing the kunai-be-gone spray,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To Sasuke,
DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE EEEEMOOOOO!!! *pulls out chainsaw* MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I know why you REALLY want to kill Itachi!! *pulls out tape* ITS ALL RIGHT HERE!! *revs up chainsaw* AND IF YOU DON'T DO WHAT I SAY, I'LL SEND IT INTO AMERICA AND JAPAN'S MOST FUNNIEST VIDEOS!!
Still hate you,
Akina *runs off to find Sasuke


~~~


Dear Akina,


O____________O Uh oh....
Please don't let it be that incident with the tomatos when I was four.......


Sincerely Scared,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochimaru,

I know who your parents are! You Dad is Michael Jackson and your mom is Medusa! aha! Im right aren't I?

The proud of herself,
Oni-Chan


~~~


Dear Oni-Chan,


You got the Micheal Jackson part right. But my mom isn't medusa, it's a little boy...
You see, daddy doesn't like girls so he married a little boy named Timmy. After that, the great ruler of snakes created me from the jutsu


Itachi: Gawd orochimaru! For the last time, it's weasles!!!
Me: Shut up ferret


Sincerely Yours,
Orochimaru Jackson


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochimaru,
I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!
I have a question; Why are you evil??why cant you be a nice,freakish,scary,hot guy?!?!


Your ever-faithful fangirl,
Layla


~~~


Dear Layla,


Because the ruler of all snak---


Itachi: Weasles!
Me: Shut up already! Gosh you're so annoying!!!!! See? THIS is the reason I left akatsuki! Just go screw a ferret already!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!


Sincerely Insane,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Naruto,

What was sex ed with Iruka like? Was Kakashi a 'helper' by any chance? *evil smirk*

Sincerly dreaming,
Oni-Chan

PS- Tell Shika thanks for the Sasuke death update!


~~~


Dear Oni-Chan,


It was awesome! Did you know that ----
*CENSORED*
--- and that's how babies come from in the real world! Believe it!
And yes, how'd you know?


Shika wants to say "your welcome" but it's too troublesome for him to do that


Sincerely Yours,
Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,

Will you kill Kakashi for me? He`s getting really annoying and I can`t stand it any more. While your at it, kill Sakura too.

With love,
Rachael


~~~~


Dear Racheal,


1. No because he supplys me with "make out paradise" books


2. Yes I will


Sincerely Yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Sasuke,

Why must you be all *grr*-avengery? Its really annoying. You know you'll never beat Itachi. He's just waiting till you have death insurance so he can kill you too. *smug look*

The one with a PS2,
Oni-Chan


~~~


Dear Oni-Chan,


Avengery isn't a word. Avengest IS a word.
No it's not! Mommy says it makes me sound cool!


Itachi: Mommy's dead idiot
Me: Oh...who killed her?
Itachi: um...um.....Kisame did it! *point*
Kisame: Huh?
Me: DIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! *stab*
Kisame: X_X


But I already HAVE death insurence!


Itachi: What?
Me: *nod nod*
Itachi: *smirk* *grabs kunai*
Me: Oh cra-----


ATTENTION: THIS LETTER COULD NOT BE FINISHED DUE TO THE FACT THAT THE REPLIER IS DEAD. SORRY FOR ANY INCONVIENCE.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Hinata-chan,

I will!!! lol but that's ok, I sometimes have those shy moments too. anyway, I was wondering. What will our wedding be like?

Your Fiancee,
Hunter


~~~


Dear Hunter,


Hmm....Well, w...we're ganna have to have one of those ice sculptures of a dead Sakura. Those are just sooooo fancy! A...And also maybe a Greenday band preforming our wedding song. A..And...maybe.... a cockatoo.......^__^


Sincerely Yours (literaly)
Hinata


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Brothers Uchiha,
We heart evil boys with crimson eyes and black hair. They remind us of Tom RIddle, who is teh shmecksay. We, actually, I couldn't care less. And Bunni only really lovbe him because his ghost is haunting her. Anyways, Our questestion is, why aren't your eyes so shmecksillily crimson all the time. They're yummy! Like blood!
With Love (For 73H 3V1L!),
Kristi and Buns

PS: Please tell Kakashi he is 73H Shmecksay and would he please fondle my non-British arse. -Kristi
PPS: Please inform Kakashi that she keeps perverts locked in her closet because she thinks they're shmecksay. -Buns
PPPS: Please tell Kakashi that they aren't locked in, they just can't touch my computer anymore since they crashed it.-Kristi


~~~


Dear Kristi and Buns,


Hi, it's Itachi. My little brother's still dead from that last letter from Oni-Chan. *still holding bloody kunai*
Who the heck is Tom Riddle? Is he that kid who tryed to stalk me last summer? Cause I think his last name's Riddle....
And our eyes are not because the ruler of weasles who created us didn't give us those coloured eyes for some strange reason. Oh, and if Orochimaru says snakes created us, then just smack him across the head with a smelly tuna fish casseroll.
Mmmmm....blood.....


Sincerely Yours,
Just Itachi


PS. He says after he finish chapter seven of make out paradise.


PPS. He's getting his "fangirls-be-gone spray"


PPPS. He's calming down....


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Send them in! Whee....Oh, and a maxium of 5 letters per user per chapter please ^__^ I don't wanna go blind like Itach---oops...spoiler...Tee hee

Read the disclaimer.......
And now lets introduce the sole survivors of the narutofic massacre! Wheeeeeeee
*crickets chirp*
Okay, fine, no more bad naruto puns
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Naruto,

Naruto, i can't see this. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN a moon pie and a bowl of chocolate flavored ramen.

Still confused,
Silver


~~~


Dear Silver,


The difference is that the chocolate flavoured ramen is good yummy and delicous and the moon pie is not! Why? Because ramen is better than anything in da world! Why? Because ramen created us humans! Worship ramen!


Itachi: NO! Weasles did!
Oro: Nu uh! Snakes did!
Me: No way! Ramen did!


Sincerely arguing who created humans,
Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Dear Orochimaru-kun,
Quit ignoring me. This is the second letter I am writing already.
You seemed to forget... hmm, some important stuff at my place last night. Please pick it up as soon as possible.
Love, teriX


~~~


Dear TeriX,


Important stuff? *gasp* Is it my new freezer??? It better be! Or else I'm sueing the future shop people!


Itachi: Too late! I already did for the PS3 incident
Me: Doh'


Hate,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, short chapter...only because Itachi wiped out the entire set of letters except these two!
*chirkets chirping*
Arg! No one appreceates my bad naruto puns!
^__^ Send in those letters!

WHEE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~


to nenji
from fire fox 2000
dident you note FRIEND? my FRIEND LIKES YOU NOT ME


~~~


Dear Firefox,


So....you mean that you don't love me? *sniff*
*cuts wrist* WAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Nobody understands my pain!!!!


Sincerely emo,
Neji


Tenten: Oh great, Neji + emo = YAOI!
Lee: *hides*


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Snakes and Ramen so created the world ;o

Dear Itachi-baka,

-sprays pepper spray in your eyes- That is for hurting Sasuke-kun! D: You're just jealous he has Naruto-kun and you don`t!

Planning your Demise,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


OWW!!! HEY! Pepper is for washing NOT spraying!
UGGHHH...it hurts!!!!!!!!!!!! WAH! I can't see anything! CRUD! I'm blind! Gee, thanks a lot Nikki! *pout*
And I did not "hurt" him, I killed him.....


Sincerely blind,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochi-kun,

Stop being a whimp, I sprayed Itachi in the eyes with pepper spray so here is your chance 8D
So please kill him? -big cute eyes- I`ll make you muffins, cupcakes, and cookies!

Love,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


M..Muffins? SWEET! Sure I'll kill him! Make sure you put extra raisins in the muffins got it? Now, I'm ganna poke him to death on elm street at 10 pm! Remember that, 10 pm elm street is where Itachi dies


Sincerely yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi, Orochimaru and Naruto,

ok look it was not weasles, or snakes or ramen that created people. we evolved from small tiny ocean creatures into fish, then to neadrathols and now what we are today. my question How can you be so idiotic?
Sincerly thinking you guys are baka's, Ayama
P.S I hate you Orochimaru



~~~


Dear Ayama,


F..Fish? O_O


Oro: but....I EAT fish!
Itachi: So does wealse...
Naruto: Haha! Cannibalism!


Anyways, we're not stupid or idiotic. Why? Because we're weird, yaoi, and usurukontachis! So there!


Sasuke: Doesn't usurukontachi mean idiot?
Itachi: Arn't you suppose to be dead?
Sasuke: Good point..


Sincerely NOT bakas,
Naruto, Itachi, and miche---er...Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochimaru-kun,

*kicks in face*

You do know that the Mongoose is the natural predator of the snake, right? Well Weasels and Mongeese (lol) are practically the same thing. They're like cousins. so I suggest you treat Itachi-kun with some respect, lest he unleash his wrath apon your scaly @$$.

Ps. You're still invited to the wedding. Sasuke insisted...

Sincerely Hinata's (not yours),
Hunter


~~~


Dear Hunter,


WHOA! Now that you mention it....


*flashback of 10 pm on elm street*


Oro: heh heh, Now, I'll kill you and get my muffins from Nikki...*grabs for kunai*
Itachi: Hey orochimaru...
Oro: DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Itachi: *dodge*
Oro: hey! How can you dodge if you're blind?
Itachi: I have my ways...
Oro: grrr.....*stab*
Itachi: *eats orochimaru*
Oro: X_X


*flashback over*


Thanks for inviting me to the wedding...but sassy chan's dead! WAH!!! Curse you Itachi!


Sincerely wondering how I can type if I'm dead,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~
Message to Nikki from Orochimaru:
I'm still getting my raisin muffins right? RIGHT?
~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi-kun,

I've noticed that snake-boy doesnt like to be kicked in the face (it messes around with his make-up).

You're welcome XD
Hunter


~~~


Dear Hunter,


"snake-boy" is dead...I ate him....


Sincerely not hungry anymore,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
Run away. Like, right now. Buns left, and she said (I quote!) "OMG Now that that wierd guy is gone there is nothing standing between me and my weasel! I'mgoingnow BYE!"
Sincerely warning you,
Kristi
PS: She grabbed the riding crop. And the dog collar.


~~~


Dear Kristi,


I'll make sure to fill up the buns-be-gone spray right after movie night with hinata


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi-kun,
I'm coming for you. You are... evil and mine! I love you!
-Buns (your future wife)


~~~


Dear Buns,


DANG IT! Why won't this stupid buns-be-gone spray work??? GAHHHHHH!!!! That's the last time I buy anything from a garage sale when I'm blind!


Sincerely Scared.
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~



Dear Kaka-baby,
We're googleing. Chy and Buns'll be there. It's fun when they're there!
-Kristi-chan
PS: Bring the pictures


~~~


Dear Kristi chan,


I thought Buns went to scare the ramen out of Itachi! O_O Weird...


I'd be happy to bring the pics if Pakkun didn't eat them!


Pakkun: *burp*
Me: CHIDORI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pakkun: O_____O


Sincerely having a dead dog,
Kakashi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Send them in!! ya lil shinobis ^_^

Wheeeee.....Gosh, why do I always say whee? *sigh*
~~~~~~~~~~~~



Dear Kakashi-kun,

The new Icha-Icha Paradise book came out and I just finished reading it. I'll give it to you, if you want. I got it for free, so I can just buy another. -holds it for auction-
Love Ya (Seriously),
Kat

P.S. Tell Naruto I said thanks for the trick I used with Jiraiya to get free Icha-Icha goodness! -wink-


~~~


Dear Kat,


I
Love
The way you think!
I'll be staking ya my beloved one *glomp*


Naruto: Are you talking about kat or the book?
Me: *purrrr*
Naruto: whoa....sorry I asked...*slowly backs off*
Me: Wait! Kat wants to say thanks for the trick
Naruto: Ohh..the one with the tomatoes?
Sasuke: TOMATOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: O_O
Naruto: Yeeaahhh....*sigh* Just a phase dead people go through......


Sincerely yours,
Kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Dear Sakura-chan,
You are awesome. I'm one of your biggest fans and I think that if you were a boy, you'd so be mine by now...If my heart didn't already belong to Kakashi-tear-...Oh, and -whisper whisper whisper-. Tell that to Sasuke and he'll be yours forever! Oh, and by the way. -pulls out a DVD- If you don't tell Kakashi to propose marriage, I'll reveal this little baby to the world. -evil grin-
Signed,
Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


Why thank you for the complemeant.....It's good to have a fan once in a while
Okay, I'll tell him


Me: Sasuke!!!!!!!!
Sasuke: What?
Me: I'm made of tomatoes
Sasuke: O_O ... Marry me?


Whoa, can't believe that worked....dead people are easy to bribe..anyways, fine...I'll tell kakashi


Me: Sensei!
Kakashi: What?
Me: kat's made of pure pervertness
Kakashi: O_O ... Ask her if she'll marry me


Heh, works every time..and isn't that DVD george bush's first bath time with mommy squrriel? O_O Strange...


Sincerely yours,
Sakura


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Rochi-teme,

Why do you keep Kabuto around? What does he ever do for you? You should let him run free and do what he wants, instead of locking him in a dark cave.

Signed, CGB

P.S. You should try hooking him up with Kakashi. I happen to know that Kakashi has been eying Kabuto...


~~~


Dear CGB,


I keep him because he fixes the microwave for me. But ever since that freezer incident where Kabuto's too stupid to fix it and I have to be a pedophile and stalk Sasuke..well...lets just say that I got arrested about 12 times..


Kabuto: 13
Me: Shut up!
Kabuto: I'll shut up when you free me from the rabie infested cave!
Me: You idiot! That's not a cave it's my dead cat!
Kabuto: STOP USING GENJUTSU GOD DAMM*T!


Sincrely yours,
Orochimaru

PS. K..Kakashi? I thought he was with Iruka!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kyuubi,

Um, I know you can't type this yourself, so can you have Naruto relay the message, provided you are willing to answer? Thanks.

Anywho, I curious as to what you do in your spare time. I mean, your trapped in Naruto's stomach. Doesn't it get boring? What do you do down there?

Signed, CGB

P.S. I am really sorry you have to deal with that baka. Let me know if you ever need help escaping.... or, at the very least, want to upgrade to a more intelligent container.



~~~



Dear CGB,


Actually, Yondaime fed Naruto a laptop when he was 2 monthes old so I can pretty much type myself.
Hmm...I hardly get bored...anything's possible when you have internet! Unless it's that time where neji poked him in the belly and switched off the stomach electricity system. Now THAT was scary!
And sure, I could use someone who actually showers everyday! Hmm...there's that new Uchiha dude..


Orochimaru: MINE!
Me: Aw...


Okay, he's taken....



Inner kyuubi: DAMM*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I think I'll just stick with the idiot for now.


Sincerely yours,
Kyuubi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi-baka,

-murders you and revives Orochi-kun- You -starts cursing- No touchy my Orochi-kun or I swear...besides, you won`t get any cookies or muffins, they`re all for Orochi-kun =D -stabs you-

Sincerely Orochi-kun's,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


Well, I'll stop whe---


ATTENTION: THE REPLYER OF THE LETTER HAS JUST BEEN VICIOUSLY STABBED BY AN ANGRY FANGIRL. THE LETTER COULD NOT BE FINISHED


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochi-kun,

Gomenasai! Gomensasai! I wouldn`t have told you to kill Itachi-baka if I knew he was going to eat you :c -huggles and gives lots of your favorite muffins and cuddles more-

Sincerely yours and about to murder Itachi-baka brutally,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


Gum..in..a..sai? I thought sai doesn't eat gum!


Kabuto: She means sorry in japanese idiot...
Me: Ohhhhhh...


Oh it's okay, heaven wan't that bad. They have cable up there! Imagine that! Cable wasn't even invented in konoha yet and we have that stuff in heaven! Man, that was awesome. I crave for your muffins....
OHHH!!!!! MUFFINS!!!!
*eats like hell*


Sincerely eating like hell,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Neji,
OMG did you know that I'm your fangirl? *Holds up sign that reads "I luv Neji!*
Anyway, were you in any way scared of dying when you fought Kidoumaru? And didn't those arrows through your shoulder and stomach hurt? If I was there I would've kicked him right in the crotch.
Sincerely your fangirl,
Xena-chan


~~~


Dear Xena-chan,


OMG! Did you know that I'm a ninja? *hold up a badly written sign that says "I'm a ninja"
And of course I wasn't scared when I fought him. Actually, I was looking forward to dying. Orochimaru told me that heaven has cable! Sweet eh?
No, the arrows didn't hurt. I AM a hyuuga afterall you know.
I would too...but he's wearing a crotch protecter from football...*sigh*


Sincerely a ninja,
Neji


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To: Sasuke
From: an9eL

deAr teme,
I always love you from the moment I saw you... And I WON'T let you fall in love with anyone else execpt my beloved kitsune! You heard that?! Ehm, btw just want to ask, do you love Itachi as your brother ever since he destroyed your clan?


~~~


Dear an9el,


*dreamy look* ah yea, love at first sight..Naru-chan...*sigh*


Sakura: Um..sasuke kun? You're typing everthing you think...
Me: O_O oops...


Anyways, what you didn't know is that he didn't destroy the clan. Hurrican katrina did. Or that's what he told me at least...


Sincerely yours,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi-kun,
What was that for? I'm just glad I had the anti-Buns be gon spray on! Who knows what that would have done.
-Buns

PS- I'm still coming for you!


~~~


Dear Buns,


O____________O
Do you have any idea how evil you are?
Respect other people's virginity!!!!


Sincerely getting the non destructable kunai,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Send em in!!!!! And oh, I like...I like...Cheese!!!!!!!
Okay, I'm done being stupid...on to the emo farm! awayyy!!!

A
person
named
Kamikakushi
submitted
the
100th
review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOT!!! My life is now complete!! Now a new goal! 200 reviews!!!
Yeah, I see you sweatdroping right now..lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,

Ha ha, you are now dead, just like Sasuke-kun n3n Except I forced Orochi-kun to bring him back....soo... HAHA!

Loved Killing you,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


What? Sasuke's revived? NUUUU!!!!! ...Oh well...at least I have cable in heaven ^/_^


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochi-kun,

-cuddleglomp-
Nikki loves you =DD
And by the way, weasels suck, snakes are the master of everything!

More muffins for you -gives you muffins-

Love,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


Aw...I'm flattered...Thanks so much!
Finally, someone who appreciates the magic of reptiles with no legs! yay muffins


Sincerely yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi-sama!

HI!!! I'm LAUREN. I'm AMAZING. You're AMAZING. The world is AMAZING. I was wondering if you've ever gotten the flu before? Because you seem to be the AMAZING type of person to not get the flu. And where did those marks under your eyes come from? They're sexy. And do you know if you inherited your silky long hair from your mommy? Or is it the shampoo you use? And what kind do you use?!?

Itsumo


~~~


Dear Itsumo,


Hi, I'm EMO, your EMO, the world is EMO!


1. No, I havn't gotten the flu before. Because I'm EMO


2. Sharpies marker from staples. It's EMO


3. I got it from my EMO mom. It makes me look like a girl, that's why I killed her.


4. I use EMO shampoo. a.k.a. herbal essenced. It's so EMO!


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Neji.
I think you are blind. You seriously need glasses! I mean, who hits a person and doesn't even make it?? It didn't even make contact! Some genious. But I looove your voice. GO OUT WITH TENTEN ALREADY ^^
Itsumo


~~~


Dear Itsumo,


It's a natural Hyuuga fighting style to pretend to be too stupid and blind to hit someone but is actually plotting the person's vile death.
I like my voice AND my hair..
Tenten's with rock lee, rock lee's with gaara, gaara's with sasuke, sasuke's with snakey-wakey, snakey-wakey's with kabuto, and kabuto's a loner...


Sincerely yours,
Neji


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sasuke.

You seem to think you're so amazing. I think that you're just a jerk. You're a very hot jerk, I admit that, but still a jerk never the less. Your hair is sexy. Did I ever tell you that? (: WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE!?
Waiting for a "Yes" (or else),
Lauren


~~~


Dear Lauren,


Do you have a death wish? If not, then I suggest you get one...*glare*
Why yes I AM very hot.
I'll add you to my list as soon as Itachi stops bragging about his freakin' cable!


Sincerely yours,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~


to: saske

in my earlier comment, "do any of u watch you own show?" the answer was no (except saske) so, do you watch naruto?
ps. im sending you your plushies twin in the mail enjoy! ^^

the keyonoshee avenger


~~~


Dear Keyonoshee,


First of all, you are NOT an avenger! Only the elite, hot, sexy, all so powerful, and awesome people can be avengers! CHA!


Yes, I watch Naruto. I enjoy every minute of me beating Naruto at everything and watching him get all jeolous. Why? Because I'm the best. CHA!


OMG! Mr. snuggle-face's brother! YAY! I get to meet mr. tomatoe head! YAY!


Sincerely yours,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sakura-chan,

Tomatoes.

Love,
Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


Potatoes.


Love,
Sakura


~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi-kun,
Why isn't Kisame some super-hot bishie for fandom's sake?! I luff super-hot bishies! Wanna go out for some sake later with me and Kakashi?

Signed,
Kat

P.S.-No, Kakashi does not know he's going. I paid Naruto, Ebisu, and Jiraiya to bring him then they each get a barrel of tomatoes. ^_^

P.S.S.-MANGENKYO SHARIGAN TSUKIYOMI! -traps you in Tsukiyomi for next 24 hours-


~~~~


Dear Kat,


Because, his mom's a seaworld dolphine, his dad's a freakin' goldfish, and his brother's squidward from spongebob!


Omg! Sake's only 2 letters away from Sasuke! Scary...


Tomatoes? OMG! TOMATOES!!!!!! HOLY MOLY TOMATOES!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!


Kisame: Don't worry Kat, it's just an Uchiha thing...


Sincerely going through a tomatoe phase,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Naruto characters,

Have you ever been around a Narutard? If so what did you do?

A former Narutard,
Rachael

PS I love you Itachi!^^


~~~


Dear Racheal,


Yes we have...here's what we did


Naruto- dumped 2 bowls of ramen on his/her head
Sakura- scared the cr*p out of him/her using the power of stupidity
Sasuke- went emo for a month, cut himself, died twice of blood loss
Kakashi- One word, Chidori...sigh, poor narutard
Hinata- hid behind neji
Neji- hid behind Hinata
Konohamaru- wend to rehab and never came out
Itachi- Killed them all, except for a 7 year old kid. Sigh, he has a bad habit of leaving the 7 year olds alive.
Orochimaru- did what micheal jackson would have done.
Yondaime- Suicide!!!!!


And that's about all who matters...


Sincerely yours,
All the Naruto characters
PS. Itachi says die..which in narutard language means thanks.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To: Itachi
From: Varicea(an OC)/Janaiya(BloodyAngel)

I LOVE YOU ITACHI-KUN!!!*gets shoved off of the computer Janaiya* I have told her several times to stay off of the computer....*sighs* Anyway, Itachi, I have a very important question: Do you prefer sausage or bacon? I wanna know cuz Me and Varicea want to make you breakfast someday!!

~Varicea and Janaiya

PS: Tell Naruto his twin sis, Serya says Hi. Oh and tell Shika that Serya loves him

PPS: Tell Kiba that his older sister,Mai, whom he hates, says hi


~~~


Dear Varicea and Janaiya,


Die.......
(remember how it mean thanks in narutard language?)


Anyways, I prefer bacon because sausage sounds like Sasuke...and I have issues with him regarding tomatoes...


Me: Naruto!
Naruto: What?
Me: Your sis says hi
Naruto: Tell her I said "die" in narutard language.
Me: Shika!!!
Shika: What?
Me: Serya loves you
Shika: Tell her it's too troublesome to reply
Me: Kiba!!!
Kiba: WHAT?
Me: Mai says hi
Kiba: WTF? I thought I killed her 2 months ago!


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Neji,

Are you two blind or something? Neji are you gay? Do you comb your hair and flex in the mirror?

Hinata why do you like Naruto and not Shino or Kiba. Do you like your cousin Neji and your sister Hanabi?

From, koyuki


~~~


Dear Koyuki,


No, it's just the byakugan. Besides, you'll go blind too if you spent 24 hours staring into the girls change roo---oops *gets smacked in the face*


It's a wig....^_^''


*hinata comes on*


I..I like Naruto because he's a blond. A..and I like the colour yellow so.....
Neji tryed to kill me....so no I hate him...for now..at least...
Who the porcupine is Hinabi?


Neji: That kid from Africa you sponsered through world vision last Tuesday!
Me: Ohhh yeaaahhhh.....


Yeah, I like her....cause she's poor.. *giggle*


Sincerely yours,
The hyuugas


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sasuke,

Did you know that your hair was a dead crow? Are you a fagbag?

Sincerely Koyuki Tanaka
A.K.A. Neji Fangirl


~~~


Dear Koyuki Tanaka,


Mommy said it was a cockatoo...NOT a crow...
No. I am NOT a fagbag. Fagbags are stupid people, and I am NOT stupid...


Naruto: Yes you are!
Me: Katon! Go...gou...gouka...g.........er...oh what the heck! Fireball jutsu!
Naruto: =X_X=


Sincerely yours,
Sasuke
PS. Neji wears a wig, just to let you know.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Send em in!

Woof...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Dear Lee,

What do you see in Sakura? Are you gay or something?

from, koyuki


~~~


Dear Koyuki,


I see a beautiful angel ready to bloom out into the wonderous nature awakning it's beauty in a very youthful way fluttering it's wings to shine proudly upon the world as we speak. Either that or a very evil poptard in genjutsu.
No, I'm not gay. Gai is gay though....ugghh..


Sincerely straight,
Lee


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kiba,
Hey little bro!! Just to let you know, you didnt kill me 2 months ago, that was my clone!!

love,
Mai Inuzuka


~~~


Dear Mai,


I just wanted to say that I'm gay...


Shino: O_O That was random
Me: *gasp* Hey shino! you bad boy..*wink*
Shino: *slowly backs off*


Sincerely yours,
Kiba


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Naruto and Shika,
Brother, you need to be nice to me!! Im yer twin!! Shika, I love you!!
Love,
Serya Uzamaki


~~~


Dear Serya,


Brother???????? I will kill you! DIEEEE!!! die die die die die!!!


Naruto: Sasuke, get off my computer!
Sasuke: *sniff* sowy...


Sorry bout that...
Shika says hi....yeah, that's about all he could say cause it's "troublesome"


Sincerely yours,
Naruto and Shika


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
Will you go out with me??I love you alot!!

Love(seriously),
Varicea Hatake


~~~


Dear Varica,


First of all, are you related to Kakashi? If so, then no because kakashi is gay with iruka


Kakashi: WHAAAT?
Me: *sigh* Tsukiyomi!
Kakashi: X_X


If not, then sure! I really need a new girlfriend. Kisame's a bad kisser, that's why I killed him


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
Do you like scrambled eggs or sunny side up? And milk or orange juice?

Love,
Janaiya


~~~


Dear Janaiya,


Scrambled because it reminds me of me killing the clan...don't ask why...
I prefer topicana twister better...*dances to tropicana commercial*


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To: Neko Youki
I WAS THE 100 REVIEW!!!! I'M GLAD TO HELP (:


~~~


Dear 100th reviewer,


YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! *hug*


Sincerely yours,
Meee!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sasuke,

Actually I do have a death list, and it involes Will Ferrel and Ootori Kyoya. Be lucky to know that you're not on it. *sends you HD TV* ^_^ NOW Will you be my valentine? And my OC has a question:
Tori: Sasuke, what do you find attractive in a girl? And you better give a decent answer, or else I'll take away the TV Lauren sent you!
Always, Lauren


~~~


Dear Lauren,


Really? Wow, only the elite can own a death list...*patpat*
And Tori, I do not like girls. I'm killing Itachi because he is a girl (note:ponytail), and I used to try to kill orochimaru because he looks like a girl. I hit Sakura in episode 109 because she is a girl. And don't even ask about Ino. Enough proof?


Sincerely yours,
Sasuke
PS. Are you a girl?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear KISAME!!
*thinking hard* *lightbulb lights above head* Oh, I got one! Can you swim?? I mean you are a shark/fish RIGHT, and everytime I see you, your standing on the water, not in the water! And how can you breathe, I mean you have gills, but your NOT IN THE WATER!!! @_@ You're one messed up SHARK/FISH/MAN/GAY/ITACHI LOVING THING!!! Kinda reminds me of Oro-kun!! (though you're alot hotter than Oro *I cant believe I just said that*) Oh, and I think I saw your mother on a menu for sushi...Hehe..
Uh, MARCO POLO...
Akina


~~~


Dear Akina,


1. No, *sniff* My mommy got turned into sushi before she tought me how to...


2. I'm half land critter. Sandy cheeks is my dad....yes, the one from spongebob


3. WAHHHHHHHH!!! MOMMY!!!! Why did you have to be eaten by those crazy japanese freaks? WHYYYYY!!!!!!!!!


Uh, Ready or not, here I come
Kisame
PS. WAHHHHHHHHH!!! MOMMY!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Tobi,
Just wondering, but do you have a pair of orange goggles in your possession? Oh, and what's your last name? And why are you so annoying? And why do you call yourself a good boy, cuz you're in an evil organization, so you can't be THAT good... And why do you constantly have to make Deidara's life a living hell? And do you have a thing for Kakashi, by any chance? Im kinda rambling here, so, yeah.
MOO!
Akina
PS: What's up with the orange mask, you look like you have a giant PUMPKIN for a head!! ^_^


~~~~


Dear Akina,


1. Yes, but my teammates kakashi and Rin ate them...*sigh* I hate april fools day...


2. Last name? Hmm....


Me: Hey nephew! What's my last name???
Sasuke: Same as mine you idiot!
Tobi: Um...what's YOUR last name then? ^_^''
Sasuke: Tobi, you're an idiot


Okay, according to my nephew, My last name is "Tobi, you're an idiot"


3. Because Tobi is a good boy


4. Kakashi? Well....I did...*grone* Before that idiot watched me get squished by a rock, stole my precious sharingan, and ditched me to die! GRRR!


Meow!
Tobi Tobi you're an idiot


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Choji-san,

can you do me a favor and eat Itachi? he's trying to flirt with my girl...

Sincerely pissed off,
Hunter

Ps. You owe me one...remember what happened at the christmas party?


~~~


Dear Hunter,


Itachi? Sure! I've always wanted to try barbequed weasles!


Sincerely getting a fork and knife,
Chouji

PS. Look, I only ate 24 boxes of ruffles! I do NOT owe you 25 boxes!!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kabuto-san,

I was saving this for when you took over the Hidden Sound Village *hands him a brand-new very expensive freezer* ...And make sure orochi doesn't know of this ^_^

Sincerely Hinata's (and hating Itachi-kun),
Hunter

Ps. Don't go too hard on Sasuke. Oh, and tell him that I have a special attack squad after his brother.


~~~


Dear Hunter,


Oh my! A new freezer! Thank you ever so much! And I know better than to tell mr. freezer loving pedophile about it.


Orochimaru: What was that?
Kabuto: Er...nothing...^_^''
Orochimaru: ...
Kabuto: Hey Sasuke!
Sasuke: What now? Is it time for your spongebath already?
Spongebob: NU! Don't kill me!
Kabuto: No, Hunter told me not to go too hard on you, and There's an Itachi killing squad...
Sasuke: But...I'm suppose to kill nii-san! *sniff*
Kabuto: Wanna ruffles? I stole it from chouji at that christmas party with Hunter..*smirk* heh, and chouji gets blamed
Sasuke: Sure!


Sincerely yours,
Kabuto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Naruto,
If you had the choice between dating Hinata, or Sasuke... who would you choose. P.S. you can choose or.
The Hydralisk,
Silver


~~~


Dear Silver,


Hm....the "or" IS very attracting....but I will have to go with Sas--


Inner naruto: WHA? Don't tell the whole world you're gay!
Me: Fine...


Hinata! I choose the non attractive and shy stalker who came from a less attractive and elite clan! ^_^


Inner Naruto: Good
Me: Yay! *pause* Now put the gun down inner soul...


Sincerely yours,
Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


From-Rika Suriki
To-Neji
Dear Neji,
I luvvvvvv you!!!! You are soooooooo awsome! Also when fire fox 2000 said her friend its me!!I am her sis and her friend!!! lol! anyways........here ya go!!! *gives you riceballs an' cookies an' muffins....Also Neji...can you come to my house for dinner!?!?! I cook very good!!!

truly yours (and forever)
Rika

p.s.I'll cook you anything!!!
p.s.s I luv ya (again)


~~~


Dear Rika,



Awww...I'm so flattered! Lemme just take a second to rub it in k?


Me: Ha! Beat that number one clan!
Sasuke: Shut up less elite clan!
Tenten: *sigh* They're at it again...


Anyways, sure all come to dinner! And there's no main house freaks there right? RIGHT?


*long pause*


Of course there's no stupid Hinata there! I killed her last spring *giggle*


Hunter: WHAT?
Me: You didn't hear anything!


Okay, now here's what I want. I want mashed potatoes with 2 kg of gravy smothered not sturred and exactly 7.834 riceballs cooked at a temperature of 54 degrees for 3.67 minutes. And I also want 2 double cheeseburgers and a happy meal. Don't forget the toy! Or else! Oh, and add extra tomato sauce on the dessert of freshly grounded weasles and again, smothered not sturred. The plate should be pink with a hint of orange and pictures of dead main house hyuugas over the east side of the dining room wall 2.6 cm above the window. Got it? Good.


Sincerely coming over,
Neji


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sakura-chan,

Sasuke likes tomatoes.

Signed,

Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


ALL avengers like tomatoes. No one knows why though...
I think that it's because tomatoes contain hatred and hatred makes you less weak.


Sincerely yours,
Sakura


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kakashi-kun,

Stop stalking me. -death glare and pokes you with my sporks-

Love you forever and ever,
Kat

P.S.-It was the Sexy no Jutsu that got me free copies. Learn it from NAruto! ^_^


~~~


Dear Kat,


It wasn't me. It was Orochimaru in genjutsu. If you want him to stop stalking you, just simply tell him that you're a girl.


Sexy jutsu? O_O
Hmmmm...


Me: Hey Naruto!
Naruto: What?
Me: Do the sexy jutsu and I'll give you free ramen
Naruto: Alright! Sexy jutsu!
*poof*
Kakashi: Sharingan!
*poof*
Naruto: Okay, where's my ramen?
Kakashi: I ate it...better luck next time! *waves and walks away*


Wow, Now I've copied 1001 jutsus! Soon I'm ganna be on the world record book!


Sincerely yours,
Kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


dear itachi
how the hell do you become stronger by killing everybody in your clan??????
From,
katana uchiha


~~~


Dear Katana,


*eye twitch* How come you're not dead?
Anyways, Kisame told me it'll improve my "self esteam"


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi-kun,

I know I am scary. I'm avoided for that... I thought you'd understand how I feel! I'm gonna go cut.

Sincerely going emo,
Buns


~~~


Dear Buns,


O_O Oh my! Don't cut yourself! If you do, you'll die! And don't listen to orochimaru! There is NO cable in heaven! It was all a joke! So please....slowly go to the hospital and it'll all be okay...


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Send!

Wheee......gosh, I need a new catch phrase...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kakashi,
How on earth did you put up with Tobi?! Or should I say Tobi Tobi you're an idiot. How could you just watch him get squished *which in my opinion would be VERY fun to watch* then steal his sharingan, and eat his goggles for April Fools Day, hm??!! And I have a recording of what happened between you and you know who, that ONE night, and I'm not afraid to use it!!!
Sincerely yours,
Akina
PS: I hope you die... (not really) xD


~~~


Dear Akina,


I use the "tobi-be-gone" spray! *gives to a commercial tape*


Commercial tape:


Are you sick of hyper active goggled freaks stealing YOUR poptarts? Then worry no more! With this magical pest-be-gone spray, you will be able to kill--er....retract those pests! Buy it today for only 1700.99! And if you buy it, we'll even throw in a free mask which will never come off when you wear it no matter how much those peskey genins wanna see under it! Only available through phone offer OR your following stores!



Walmart
Ninjas R us
PESTicides be gone
and much much more!


Sprays avalible in these types:


Tobi-be-gone
Naruto-be-gone
michealjackson-be-gone (orochimaru)
emo-be-gone (sasuke)
and weirdos-be-gone! (everyone)


Buy it today!!!! *long pause* Or we'll kill you...


End of commercial...


Now then, where were we? I forget...


Sincerely yours,
Kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kisame,

Why does it seem like every one but you has a fan guy/girl? I mean, come on, even your partner has fans but not you? I dont really think thats fair~

Sincerly your #1 fan girl,
Monica

P.s. Can you tell Itachi, "babys dont come from weasles, you slut, they come from--------" end of transmission.


~~~


Dear Monica,


I am perfectly aware that I'm one of the least....popular....characters..*sniffle* among the..*sniffle* Naruto community...*sob sob* WAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sniffle* I..kinda feel better now that I have a fangirl....so I'm ganna go and rub it in...


Me: Ha! Losers!
Zabuza: Shut up!
Haku: Yeah! Just because we're gay, doesn't mean we're not popular!
Me: Meh...so um..Itachi?
Itachi: What?
Me: Babies don't come from weasles...
Itachi: W..what? *sniffle* NUU!!!
Orochimaru: *smirk* heh heh, snakes 1, weasles 0!


Sincerely yours,
Kisame


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochimaru,

It's January Fools Day. I'M NOT A BOY. PEDOPHILE!!! -jabs you with my sporks-

Signed,
Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


Oww! That sporkey hurted moi mommy!


Itachi: ^/_^ Snakes 1, weasles 1!


Sincerely yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sasuke,

Tomatoes.

Signed,
Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


Don't make do the all so famous Uchiha drool tactic number 24!!!!!!


Sincerely drooling,
Sasuke


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Tobi,

If you're a good boy, you're my best friend! Please? -holds out candy-

Signed,
Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


T...Tobi is..Tobi is...


Itachi: *sigh* Here we go again..


Tobi..is...TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Itachi: Oh man, why does my uncle have to be so weird???
Editor: OMG! Spoiler! *grabs a chainsaw* Folks, you did not hear that..^_^''


Sincerely your friend,
Obit---er....Tobi Uchi--er...I mean......."Tobi tobi you're an idiot" Yeahhh....*shifty eyes*


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear all characters besides Orochi-kun,

You call Orochi-kun a pedophile one more time and I`ll:
1) Steal your wig
2) Steal all the ramen
3) Steal Jiraiya, No Jiraiya no Icha Icha Paradise Books
4)Kill Itachi before you....oh wait, I already did that.
5) Break your new freezer
6) Cut your eyes out
7) Anything else that might possibly torture you.

So I dare you to call him a pedophile D| -grabs Machine Gun-

With little love,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


1. Neji: NO! Leave my wig alone!!!!
2. Naruto: Not the ramen!!!! *sob sob*
3. Kakashi: WHYYYYY?? WHYYYYYYYYYYY?????
4. Sasuke: Yay! *pause* Hey!!! I thought I was ganna play the avenger this time!!!! No fair!!! *pout*
5. Orochimaru: Haha! Now you'll know how it feels to have a broken freezer suckers!
6. Hinata: P..Please don't! I need my byakugan to see throught cloth--er.....to see...y..yeah....to see...
7. Sakura: *curled up* not the muffins not the muffins not the muffins..*shiver*



W..We learned out lessons...*all emo*


Sincerely scared to death,
All the Naruto Characters


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochi-kun,

Nya! Everyone is so mean to you! wonder why, you are such a super sexy, no pedophile bishie =D

And besides, you love snakes and muffins...LIKE ME! -Super Glomp no Jutsu- n3n

Loving you More Than Anyone Else,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


Thanks so much! *reads last letter* Haha! Everyone went emo! Serves them right! So...wanna like, have a tea party tonight? *thinking* muffins..tee hee


Sincerely dreaming bout muffins,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Dear Itachi,
I'm sorry I scared you. I'm fine now. I have a question for you. Do you have a girlfriend? If you don't can I be yours?

With love,
Buns

P.S.- You're right! That Emo shampoo waorks wonders. I love my black hair. And yours too


~~~


Dear Buns,


Y..You again! The one that tourtured me with snake plushie!


Kisame: Uh..that was me
Me: Oh....oops


Anyways, sure!


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kiba,
I'm not related to you anymore, just wanted to clear that up!! And why are you gay!!?? Thats just wrong!!

Love, you scared sis,
Mai


~~~


Dear Mai,


I'm yaoi (gay) because...*gulp* I shouldn't tell but...
*super gulp* I..I......
Haha! You thought I was ganna tell didn't you? sucker!


Shino: He's gay cause after the first glance of Sasuke's feminin side, well..the rest just flowed..*sigh* lucky eh?
Me: O____O


Sincerely yours,
Kiba


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Naruto and Shika,
Tell Sasuke he's and idiot...and Shika, it's not troublesome because you are min1!!*grabs you(Shika) and runs!*

Love,yer sis and for Shika, yer new wife!!,
Serya


~~~


Dear Serya,


Shika: GAHH! NUU! Stop grabbing me! It's too troublesome!!!!
Naruto: ...er...
Shika: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Naruto: O.kay?
*long pause followed by a crash*
Naruto: Anyways, Sasuke!
Sasuke: What?
Naruto: You're an idiot
Sasuke: *Famous Uchiha death glare*
Naruto: *dies*


NOTE: THIS LETTER COULD NOT BE FINISHED DUE TO THE FACT THAT MORE CHARACTERS ARE EITHER YANKED AWAY OR DIED.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
I just have the same last name as Kakashi because i was adopted into his family when i was 5 because I killed my parents, so technically, im not related to him!!

Yours (Seriously),
Varicea


~~~


Dear Varicea,


*gasp* You killed your parents? WHY? That is just so cruel and unforgivable! You know how much sin will be placed on you? Little kids should NEVER kill they're parents! Heavens god! You're a bad bad person!!!!!! BAD! BAAADDDD!!! *smacks forehead*
Killing parents except for younger siblings on the other hand is a okay!
By the way, I got adopted to the hyuuga clan after the massacre. So techniquly, yeeaahhhh..you get the point...


Sincerely yours,
Itachi HYUUGA! HYUUUGA!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
What does Varicea see in you?You're sexy but your really stupid...*makes your breakfast and gives it to u*

Sincerely hate you,
Janaiya


~~~


Dear Janaiya,


1. Awwww thanks!
2. WHAAATTT? Stupid???? *glare*
3. Awwww! Thanks for the breakfast!
4. WHAT? No tomatoes? *glare*


Sincerely yours,
Itachi Hyuuga


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


to-garra
from-sacura yumi hatake(fire fox 2000)
i totaly love you garra -kun um....what do you want to eat because I am cooking to night for all the naruto charaters.dad is also going to be there
sacura
p.s.please go on a date with me


~~~


Dear Sacura yumi hatake,


First of all, why is your last name Hatake? Were you adopted too? Are you in relation to bloodyangel?


Kankuro: *smack* YOU'RE suppose to answer the letters! Not them!
Me: fine....fishstick..


Anyways, I'd like tropicana twister with pancakes in the shape of lil uchiha fans. I think they're cute. Even though Itachi hates it.... Oh, and don't forget the SANDwich!! get it? SAND wich? *laughs*


Sincerely yours,
Gaara


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Gai,

You're gay?
You're gay seriously?

Dear Yondaime Arashi,

Why did you have to die?! Couldn't you have thought of another way!?

Still yours
Koyuki


~~~


Dear Koyuki,


With Naruto no, with sasuke yes. With rock lee, DEFINETLY!


Sincerely yours,
Gai


Dear Same person,


Unfortunatly, the writer of the Naruto series is obviously too stupid to think of a way for me to think of a way to not die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRR!


Sincerely pissed off,
Yondaime


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kaka-baby,
Miro-baby made us a new theme song. It's much better than the old one. It goes:
I like to eat, eat, eat, apples and bananas.
I like to grope, grope, grope, apples and bananas.
I like to lick, lick, lick, apples and bananas.
And it goes on and on... you really should make him sing it. He does this /dance/!

Oh, and when you come over Thursday, remember to bring lots of cameras. We're heading over to the con. Lots of SM fans around... lots of cameras, Kaka, lots of cameras!!!
Love,
Kristi-ahhhhh, I forgot.
PS:Tell Orochimaru that he CAN'T join the club. TELL HIMMMMMM!
PPS:Keep that revival potion Shii-baby tells me you stole in a safe place. You never know when someone will try to kill you... or... you. I don't care about anyone else over there.


~~~


Dear Kristi-ahhhh, I forgot,


I made a theme song too! It goes like this.


THEME OF FROSTY THE SNOWMAN PLAYS:


Kakashi, the copy nin
was a tardy laid back dude.
with a sharingan eye and a ninja mask
and a modern attitude


kakashi the copy nin,
a shinobi myth they say
he goes with the flow but his genins know
that he'll always save the day!


There must have been some magic
in that perverted book they found
for when they placed it in his hands
he began to dance around


Puncity punch punch, punchity punch punch,
was kakashi go
Punchity punch punch punchity punch punch
makes his enemies go whoa!


END.


Like it? ^_^


C..cameras? O_O I'm allergic to cameras


Naruto: He said cameras! Not camels!
Me: Oh..phew


Pfft, who would wanna kill ME?


Itachi: I do...*holds half eaten tomatoe*


Sincerely yours,
Kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To-Neji
From-Rika Suriki

Dear Neji,
I heard you have been making out with kiba!!!! I hate you!!!! You are gay!!
You are soooooooo mean!!!!!!!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Sincerly (in the sad corner)
Rika
P.S. I am not forgiving you!!!!!


~~~


Dear Rika,


Actually, Kiba's with shino. And I think he's the UKE. *wink*


Sincerely yours,
Neji


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Merry randomness day! And have a happy poke-neji day!

If I say whee, one more time, I'll jump off a cliff.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kakashi-kun,

Marry me or I'm kidnapping Jiraiya. NO MORE ICHA!!!!

LOVE-twitch-,
Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


*eye twitch* And here I thought Itachi was the master of torture.


Sincerely marrying you against my will,
Kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kabuto,

If you could choose between Kakashi or Yondaime, who would you make out with and/or marry???

Signed(Curiously),
Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


Hmm...is Orochimaru an option?


Sasuke: No! Can't you read?
Me: aww...


Okay, I will have to go with kakashi. Why? Because he actually met up with Orochimaru sama. *dreamy look*


Sasuke: So did yondaime!
Me: Oh shut up emo person!
Sasuke: *pout*


Sincerely yours,
Kabuto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochi-kun,

I tea party, eh? ;D Okay, and I`ll bring the co---muffins! =DD

Sincerely Perverted,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


Yes, muffins. MUFFINS! Not the other thing. Just muffins! Or else I'll lock you in a room with Sasuke during his time of the month! And trust me, you do NOT wanna go near him during PMS. Ugghhh...


Sincerely yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Everyone besides Orochi-kun,
Haha! I turned you all emo, but remember my promise....-evil smile-

Waiting to Torture You,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


Naruto: You are a cruel cruel sick minded person!
Sasuke: Turn me back to the regular emo I was two minutes ago or else I'll lock myself in a room with you during my time of the month!
Naruto: Isn't that a bit harsh sasuke?
Sasuke: Would you rather let me bomb the ramen factory instead?
Naruto: O_O N..No it's okay...



Rest of characters: This means WAR!!!!!!!!!


Orochimaru: Tee hee, I feel special...Nikki loves me....


Sincerely yours,
Angry mob of emo characters


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Tayuya,

Why didn't you go back to the village with Naruto and the others?

From, Koyuki

~~~


Dear Koyuki,


Because Naruto's trying to brush his teeth with MY flute, Sakura's a total *beep*, and Orochimaru sama isn't there *dreamy look*


Kabuto: Hey look! He's MINE!
Me: Nu uh!
Kabuto: Uh huh!
Me: Nu uh!
Kabuto: Don't Nu uh my uh huh!
Me: O_O Huh?
Kabuto: Muhaha! Fear me! Master of the con-fuzzle jutsu!


Sincerely con-fuzzled,
Tayuya


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Naruto characters(the important ones),

Out of all the couplins which is your favorite. And you HAVE TO pick ONE from EACH type. That means hentai, yaoi, AND yuri.

Sincerly hyped on monsters(the energy drink),
Rachael ^____________^


~~~


Dear Racheal,


Naruto: SasuNaru has yaoi, SasuNaru as hentai, and SasuNaru in sexy jutsu form as yuri. Got it?


Sasuke: Same as Naru-chan's *dreamy look*


Sakura: If I was a guy, I'd pick SakuSasu for all three


Kakashi: I'd have to say OroKabu for yaoi, and ----


Iruka: W..WHAT? Why didn't you pick KakaIru?


Kakashi: Oh I'm sorry Iru-chan....*pat pat*


Iruka: WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!


*moving on*


Itachi: SasuIta...And if you tell, I'll kill your clan with my lollipop army! Then it's SakuIno *sigh* naked sakura and ino...*dreamy look* *gets smaked in the face*


Orochimaru: Oro and *enter little boy here* ...O_O Yuri? Ewwww! They're girls! Who'd wanna do it with a girl?


Hinata: I..I...I...*3 hours later* I..I...I.....*3 more hours later* I..I...*gets shot by neji*


Neji: Since hinata's dead, I'd say hinasaku as yuri and ---


Hinata's spirit: WHAT?


Neji: O_O oops *gets shot by spirit* X_X


Konohamaru: *shiver* Why do people keep dieing?


Iruka: Because letters are evil. *nod nod*


Sincerely yours,
The surviving Characters


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kaka-baby,
Did Naruto seriously just call me a guy? Didn't he DIE?

I like your theme song too.

And, ummmmmmmmm.... See you next time? (No plans for this week now that the con's over. Think of something?)

Love,
Kristi-chan. Go with it


~~~


Dear Kristi-Chan. Go with it,


Yeah, I think he died from eating 736520573 bowls of ramen in 2.8467 seconds.


Thank you, I like my theme song too ^_^


Well..Um...Okie..see ya! (But what about that tea party? sob)


Sincerely yours,
kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
You call yourself an Uchiha again I'll rip out your vocal cords with this here Grammar Spork.
Love (in a sisterly way for my best friend Buns),
Kristi


~~~


Dear Kristi,


Whoa! O_O The regular sprok was bad enough but GRAMMAR spork? O_O You're never ganna catch ME calling myself an Uchiha ever!!!!!


Sincerely yours,
Itachi Uchiha


Kisame: Um...Itachi?
Itachi: What?
Kisame: *points to 3 lines above*
Itachi: Oh Sh*t! O/_____O
Kisame: You'd better hide in the purple cave this time!
Itachi: *running from evil sporks* I will kisame I will!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kisame-kun~
Monica again, Im just curious, do you eat fish? 'Cause if you do.. thats kinda cannibalism.... Oh, and lunch this saturday? Dont worry, I dont eat fish~~

Still your #1 fan girl,
Monica


~~~


Dear Monica,


Is tomatoes consitered in the Fish family?


Itachi: Tomatoes? WHERE?
Me: Shouldn't you be hiding from grammar sporks?
Itachi: Oh right, forgot *runs*


Anywho, no, I don't eat fish. If I did, my mom would be digested right now and nemo would be dead. (nemo's my uncle)


Sincerely yours,
Kisame


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wheeee! Oh crud, I said whee...*jumps off a cliff*

*sigh* Wheeee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,

So what if I tell that you like SasuIta and being the UKE? My clan is already dead, remember? Orochimaru killed them when I was 9. BAKA!

Sincerly printing your confession for blackmail,
Rachael


~~~


Dear Racheal,


Actually, I'm the SEME. Sasuke's the UKE. Get it? SasUKE? *laughs like hell*


Kisame: I don't get it....
Me: -/_-''


*twitch* Orochimaru did WHAT?


Me: Orochimaru! I thought I was ganna be the ultamite clan killa!
Orochimaru: Early bird catches the worm Itachi!
Me: But I'm a weasle....
Orochimaru: *sweatdrop*


Sincerely NOT a baka,
Itachi the SEME


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Lee,

Oh my gah! I think you have teh best spirit ever!! Please never ever change it. You're amazing... a true genius! YAY!!

Always,
Lauren


~~~


Dear Lauren,


My my! I'm youthfully fattered! Thank you youthful friend! I am indeed youthfully amazing arn't I?
Genius eh?


Me: Neji!
Neji: What?
Me: I'm da genius now!
Neji: WHAT?


Sincerely youthful,
Rock lee


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,

Please tell me you're not like your idiot brother. Do you like girls?? If you had to pick the hair and eye color, what would appeal most to you?

Anxiously waiting,
Lauren


~~~


Dear Lauren,


O/_O What made you think my cutie wutie sassy-chan is an idiot?


Kisame: He tryed to kill you for a plushie? He still believes that acorns killed his clan? he has the word UKE in his name? He ----
Me: Oh shut up!


You know what? I'm NOT like him at all! Why? Cause I'm da SEME! CHAZ


Um....is Kisame a girl?


I'd pick eye colour. Cause I really don't want grey hair. You know how many people came up to me and asked if I was going to the retirement home last week?


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To-All the naruto charaters
From-Rika

Dear All the Naruto charaters,

Neji-I still hink you are making out with Kiba...

Naruto-I am your sister!!

Sasuke-Stupid cold hearted emo bastard

Sakura-You are awsome!

Itachi-I like you!! Kill Sasuke-san for me???

Ori-kun- I like you!!! Do you like Kabouto??? He doesn't like you! He makes out with Kakashi!!!

All from,
Rika Suriki



~~~


Dear Rika Suriki,


Neji- What's your address?


Naruto- =O_______O= Um....


Sasuke- Crazy uchihacest person! *puppy growl*


Sakura: OMG thanks! Wanna get married? ^_^


Itachi- Thank you. And sure...if you really want me to. *grabs kunai*


Sasuke: O_O Um...bwig bwother? *puppy eyes*


Itachi: O/_O Must...resist....kawaiiness! *twitch*


Oro- Kabuto did WHAT with kakashi?


Kabuto- Cr*p, he found out!


kakashi- Wanna hide in Itachi's purple cave?


Kabuto- Sure


Sincerely yours,
All the Naruto characters


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



To-Ori-kun and Itachi

Hey,
Babies come from the mom!!! The mothers womb!!! Losers...Not you Ori-kun!! Itachi only!!
Sincerly
Rika Uzimaki
p.s. Itachi is you hurt Naruto I will KIL YOU!!!!!!!!!


~~~


Dear Rika Uzimaki,


*twitch twitch* Um....did we really need to know that?


Kakashi: Duh!
*long pause*
Itachi: I'm not a loser!!!!!! I'm a weasle! Weasles are cute fluffy furry critters that love acorns and climb trees!
Oro: That's squrriels...
Itachi: ...oh...um....I knew that..*shifty eyes*


Sincerely yours,
Itachi and Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


to -garra
from-sacura yumi hatake
dear garra-kun
yes my dad is kakashi but I dont live with him I live some where else.I am not related to bloodyangle I was ...born by him........I dont like his pervertid -ness.I black mail him with pictures of his face(yes real face.)
sacura


~~~


Dear Sacura,


Whoa! O_O

kakashi: *nervous laugh*


Oh by the way, can you send me some of his face pictures? Email em at sand-kid-gaara-sama@sandyvil.net


Kakashi: NUU! Don't! I'm warning you!
Me: *push*
Kakashi: *falls off a cliff* NUUUUUUUUUU


Sincerely waiting,
Gaara


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochi-kun,

Don`t ruin the moment, Orochi-kun. Besides, we all know I`d blow the door up =3 -hands you more muffins-

Love,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


*too busy stuffing snake face with muffins to answer letter*


Sincerely yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear all Other Characters,

Bring it on D| -grabs katana- I`ll also eat you all! Grawr!

Threatening You,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


Naruto: Yeah! Bring it! I'm ganna be hokage! Believe it!
Sakura: Um Naruto? She's got a katana
Naruto: Yeah so?
Sakura: And she also eats people
Naruto: So?
Sakura: So you'll die...
Naruto: Yeah so?
Sakura: So you'll never be able to eat ramen ever again!
Naruto: O_O OMG! NUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!


Sasuke: You will never defeat the power of emo! never! *cuts self*


Neji: Hinata sama! Save me!


Hinata: The branch family is suppose to protect ther main house! So save ME! baka!!!


Itachi: Bring it! The weasles will win!


Orochimaru: Nu huh! Snakes will!


Kakashi: *too busy reading perverted book*


Sincerely yours,
All the Naruto characters


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, I officially think that Itachi and Orochimaru are competing with each other....*sigh* losers...
Anyways, send em in kiddies!

Whee---oh! I already said it in the disclaimer..yay!
~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
I hate you!! Your so mean!!*steals breakfast that Janaiya made for you**T_T* I need to go find Deidara!! Good bye!!

Love the person who hates you now and is going to find Deidara,
Varicea.



~~~


Dear Varicea,


*sniff* Why must you hate me so much? I'll I did was kill every living thing that I saw! That wasn't so bad was it?


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


DEAR ALL NARUTO CHARACTERS:

LET'S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE! IT'S LEE'S TURN FIRST! BECAUSE HE'S A GENIUS!! HAHA! TAKE THAT NEJI!!

READY TO PLAY,
LAUREN



~~~


Dear Lauren,


Lee: Thank you so much youthful friend! Haha! Take that Neji!
Neji: I'm ganna kill a certain person now...*walks away*
Sasuke: Better not be Itachi! He's MINE!
Naruto: O_O Whoa! yaoi!
Sasuke: I didn't mean it like that!!!!!!!
Lee: Ahem...anywho, I dare Naruto to act like a dog! Cause kiba will love it!
Naruto: Um..okay...I guess...*barks*
Akamaru: *glomp* *hug* *kiss* *make ou---*CENSORED*
Sasuke: Oh!!!! Can I go next?
Lee: Fine...
Sasuke: I dare Itachi to die!
Itachi: I had that coming...*sigh* *grabs kunai*
Fangirls: NUUU!!
Itachi: *stab* X/_X
Fangirl: *sniffle* I hate you...
Sasuke: Thank you
Fangirl: *sob sob*
Naruto: Hey! It's my turn now!
Sakura: Nu huh!
Naruto: I'm the main character! It's MY turn!
Lee: *sigh* Fine...
Naruto: I dare Sakura to kiss me!
Sakura: Screw you! *jumps off a cliff*
Naruto: O________O
Lee: *sigh* There goes another character...
Konohamaru: Can I play?
Lee: Sure little boy!
Orochimaru: O_O Did I hear you say "little boy"?
Lee: No....
Orochimaru: Doh'
Konohamaru: Naruto, truth or dare?
Naruto: truth
Konohamaru: Do you *wink wink* Sasuke?
Naruto: *blush* err......pass?
Konohamaru: -_-'' *grone*
Orochimaru: My turn! I dare Sasuke to ----
Naruto: NO!
Lee: Orochimaru! Get out! NOW!
Orochimaru: aww..I just wanted him to fix my freezer..*mumbles* and take his body *cough cough*
Lee: get out!
Orochimaru: aww...why?
Lee: cause I'm the genius!
Neji: *glare*
Orochimaru: Fine...
Kakashi: I dare ---
Naruto: Sensei! Wait your turn!
Kakashi: Fine...*sob sob*
Lee: Hinata! Your turn
Hinata: I...I dare Naruto to...Um...I..I...I...*blush* I..I..
*3 hours later*
Hinata: I..I..I...*gets shoved off a cliff*
Naruto: O_O''
Everyone: *slowly backs off*


Sincerely yours,
All the Naruto characters


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi-baka,

You are to a baka!!! You were there when Orochi-bastard killed my family, we were friends once! Remember?

Sincerly,
Rachael

PS Weasles rule and kicks both snakes and cockatoos asses!


~~~


Dear Racheal,


I was? O_O
He did? O_O
We were? O_O


Um......I think I kinda...forgot that incident....BLAME REHAB! *sniffle*


Sincerely yours,
Itachi
PS. Orochimaru and Sasuke are heading to your house. I suggest you run


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Dear Orochi-kun,

Nya! Orochi-kun, you're not in the fight with all the other idiots. They're so mean to you ;o; -hugs and glomps-

Love,
Nikki



~~~


Dear Nikki,


Wow! I'm so..*sniff* Flattered! I havn't had this much love ever since I tryed to take Itachi's cute wittle body! *dreamy look* cutie.....*blink* Huh? Oh sorry bout that......BLAME REHAB!


Sincerely yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Others who Aren`t Half as Important,

Sakura- I hate you D| Stay away from Naruto-kun
Itachi- I`ll kill you before I kill anyone else.
Kabuto- Get near Orochi-kun and I`ll make sure you die a horrible painful death.
All the others: -waves katana around- You know...I wonder if Naruto tastes like ramen =o

With Little Love,
Nikki


~~~


Dear Nikki,


Sakura- Don't worry, Naruto isn't on my "too annoy like hell" list yet.
Itachi- Better not let my brother hear that! You know how he reacts to competetion.
Kabuto- *sniffle* but but but
Others- Hmm..ramen eh?
Naruto's clones- *grabs fork and knife*
Naruto: No way! I'm eating myself before you guys!


Sincerely yours,
Naruto characters


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Agent Ramen Hokage... Naruto, that's you,
The lamb is in the gate! I repeat, the lamb is in the gate!

...Remeber, the code for "The pictures are enclosed"? God, we were so drunk... as long as Kakashi doesn't remember what we did, I'm good...

I remain,
Billie Sue Jane's friend Agent LizNiz
(Kristi)
(That girl from the party who likes perverted stuff)


~~~


Dear Kristi,


*nervous laugh* Ohh..that party eh? *shifty eyes*
Kakashi better not remember. I had him filled with 2 litres of sake under 19.9 seconds!
Oh, and better not let sassy-chan find out....he'll totally kill me..


Sincerely yours,
Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


to-garra
from-sacura yumi hatake
dear garra-kun,
sorry sweety I can not becuse they are somr where in kahona. and I am far away from there right now.
love sacura*hugs and kisses*xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox


~~~


Dear Sacura,


*gasp* NUUUUUUU! Curse you konoha! Sand will own you!!!!


Thanks for the virtual kiss *giggle*


Sincerely yours,
Gaara


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Must...say....whee!

wheeee *splat*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,

They won`t get any where near me. I`m hanging out with Orochimaru and Sasuke fangirls and even some OroSasu fangirls. So it will be iteresting to see what happens to them.

Sincerly,
Rachael



~~~


Dear Racheal,


O_O Omg! Did you say the F word?? AHH! *runs around screaming*


Kisame: He means the word "fangirls"
Itachi: AHHHHHHH
Kisame: All the cool *cough*gay*cough* people are scared of fangirls...


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochi-kun,

Remember the fact that we are married and you are not allowed to participate in yaoi like acts?
And if you give the yaoi up, you get all the muffins you can eats n3n

Love,
Nikki Who doesn`t wanna see you with anyone else D|



~~~


Dear Nikki,



Okay fine, but only cause there's muffins! *drool*


Kabuto: *sigh* loser...


Sincerely yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Everyone Else,

Kabuto: -growls menacingly- i said touch him and die!
Sakura: Touch any Naruto male and die. Besides, you should get with Ino!
Itachi: I`ve already killed you once, why won`t you stay dead?
Naruto(s): No eating eachother, or I`ll eat all of you.
Everyone else: Remember the promise!

Love,
Nikki



~~~


Dear Nikki,


Kabuto- Fine, but only if you give me some of those yummy muffins!
Sakura- Me and Ino already *censored* and girl to girl does NOT restore your clan!
Itachi- cause I'm an Uchiha (god, why does he always say that? grr)
everyone else- MOOOOOO


Sincerely yours,
Everyone


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Ita-kun,
Don't worry, Kristi is tied up in the closet with her pervert Kakashi and I hid all the sporks. You are safe, until all of the tea is gone... or umm... until they're done discussing spatulas.

With love,
Buns

P.S.- According to the two of them, the spatula is the most perverted object. They won't tell me how it is though.



~~~


Dear Buns,


O_O Why is it that I feel so screwed and almost about to die?
You know what? I'm ganna slowly back away and try to think of happy thoughts......weasles!!!! whee

Yes, spatulas are very perverted. They're the main characters in make out paradise!


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


dear itachi
do you know that weasels eat snakes?......ITS TRUE!!!!!
from, fire fox 2000


~~~


Dear fire fox 2000,


Okay, now I feel MORE screwed up! *pause* Oh wait, orochimaru is suppose to be screwed up! I'm suppose to be hungry!!!!


Oro: Uh oh *runs*
Itachi: *grabs fork* Come back dinner!!!!


Sincerely chasing oro,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


to-garra
from-sacura yumi hatake
dear garra
um.........I am currently some where in the akatuski and the members don't seem to mind me and I am currently readeing itachies diary!!!!!he is on a mission.I have hidden the photoes some where........itachi likes.......*looks around*DEDIRA!!!!!!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!
sincerely hiped on sugar,
sacura
p.s.hugs and kisses xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox


Dear Sacura,


Oh My Gourd! O___O
I..Itachi...l..likes...deidei chan? O__O
I'm.....really...like...um...I..don't know what to say! I mean, ItaDeidei does NOT make a good yaoi pair! Plus, lee is wayy hotter!


Gai: MINE!
Me: Oh fine...*pout*


Sincerely shocked,
Gaara


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kisame-kun,
Ahh, what a wonderfull Idea I came up with, which is odd, for you have to think to actully have a idea.. But anyways, I got somthing to black mail Itachi! *sends you pictures of SasuIta, with Itachi as Uke* Remember, if you use them, dont get yourself killed! T.T
With love
monica

~~~


Dear Monica,


OMG! SasuIta! And Itachi san as the UKE? Holy nemo kuns! Itachi is sooo SEME! NOT UKE! Plus, sasUKE makes a better submissive receiver. Anyways, thanks for the warning...I'll make sure to remove any traces of shark-be-gone sprays when using the pics


Sincerely yours,
Kisame


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Deidara and Itachi,
Deidara, I love you, will you marry me??*puppy dog pout and eyes* Itachi, DIE AND GO TO HELL, BAKA!!!!

Love foe Deidara and hate for Itachi,
Varicea



~~~


Dear Varicea,


Didn't sacura just say that Itachi likes me?


Itachi: *Shifty eyes* No I don't!!!!!


Plus, arn't I a girl?


Itachi: *shifty eyes* No you're not!


Also, why is Itachi shifty eyeing a lot?


Itachi: *shifty eyes* I don't know!


And sure I'll marry you! hmmm


Itachi: *shifty eyes* WHAT?
Dei: Go to hell Itachi! You're the worst UKE ever!
Itachi: *sniff* Fine..


Sincerely yours,
Itachi and Deidei


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Naruto,
Run. As I type this, I am being stranggled to death. KAKASHI KNOWS! RUN!
-Agent LizNiz


~~~


Dear Agent LizNiz,


O_O OMG! Kakashi sensei knows about the incident? *sniff* I thought what we had was special!!!!!


Sasuke: O_O What?
Me: *shifty eyes* Nothing...


Sincerely yours,
Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Shikamaru-kun,

OMGILUVYOUMORETHANKAKASHIANDMANAMIHYPER! IHADTOOMUCHSUGAR, KTHXBAI!

Signed,
Kat

~~~


Dear Kat,


I.DID.NOT.CATCH.WHAT.YOU.SAID.
Plus, it's too troublesome...^_^


Sincerely too lazy to type in name,
Blank...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochimaru,

You rock. You rock-rock-rock-rock-rock the boat, baby. If I wasn't stalking Shikamaru and married to Kakashi, I'd stalk you. LITTLE BOY!!! MWUAHAHA!

Signed,
Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


Wow! Thank you! I know, I rock don't I?
Are you a girl? If not, feel free to stalk me ^_^
LITTLE BOYS WHERE???


Sincerely yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Gaara,
I really want to know why you have that tattoo on your forehead. Not that I'm complaining, It looks so cool!

P.S. GAARA IS BETTER THAN SASUKE! DEATH TO SASUKE!
From, sora


~~~


Dear Sora,


Ohhh! The so called "love mark" eh? Orochimaru gave it to me for my 5th birthday party. It was the pedophile way of saying "I love you little boy but I'm running out of curse marks so here's a love symbol!"


Sincerely yours,
Gaara
PS. *flips hair* I know ^_^


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snuffle..I..have..a.cold....*blames sasuke*

Wheeeee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Neji,
You're still my little genius! *blows kiss*
~Xena~


~~~


Dear Xena,


Yes I am a genius! because fate and destiny has chosen me to be a genius. Although I have to complane about the "little" part. I'm 5 feet 9!!!! That's wayyyy higher than stupid Hinata! *mumbles* die main house freak....


Sincerely genius,
Neji


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
Don't worry about Orochi, you're waaaaaaaaaay better than him... and hotter.... especially with your Sharingan on */_*
~Xena~



~~~


Dear Xena,


Yes I know I'm way better than snakey-wakey. Why? Because fate and destiny has chos---


Neji: Hey! Get your own phases!
Me: *sweatdrop*


Anyways, the sharingan? Ohhh.....you mean the 3 red commas! yeeaahhh....I like my version of the name better^_^


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Naruto
I was wondering who you love more Sasuke or Kyuubi because I need to know so i can send these pics of you to who you like with a random note that say's how much you love them.
P.s. If you don't like neater than I will stalk you and eventually make you marry me and you will marry me or i WILL KILL YOU. not really i will just get my friend to tie you up and atand behind you pretending to be you and marry you that way by the way If you try to davorse me then I will have to sell you to all the the Naruto boys that secreatly want you*stares at the boys* right Sauke, Kyuubi, Neji, Garra, and lets not forget Itachi.

Sincerly yours,
Sakura minikao
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
I WIN!!!


~~~


Dear Sakura Minikao



Whoa, huge threat! O_O


Neji: Meh, that's not as frightening as the one I got from your mom


Okie...lets see.....I have to go with Sasuke for sure! Why? Cause he's rich, he's hott, I mean come on! If it wern't for the way gays get beat up with a cactus, I'd date him!


Sakura: *grone* You did...last tuesday....
Me: O_O Ohhh yeeaaahhh! That was the night I lost my virginity!
Sakura: O_O Too much info...


Sincerely yours,
Naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Naruto, Kakashi, and Itachi,
Buns' birthday is coming up. Buy her gifts or I'll kill you AND not let you into the party. Yes, there will be p*rn and sake-RAMEN. There shalt be RAMEN! THAT'S what I meant to say.
-Kristi/Agent LizNiz

PS: She likes green, witchcraft, and evil/emo boys with black hair and red eyes... you could just put a bow on Itachi and say he was a group effort... she'd love you for it.


~~~


Dear Kristi,


Buns birthday? OMG! Happy birthday!!!!!!!


Naruto: Okie, we need a b-day present
Kakashi: How bout make out paradise?
Naruto: She says that buns likes green, witchcraft, and boys with black hair/red eyes
Itachi: Hey! ^/_^ why don't we kidnap sasuke, dip him in slime, and stick a broom stick on him?
Everyone: Yeah!!!!!!!


Sincerely yours,
Naruto, Kakashi, and Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi, Deidara and Kisame,
My Birthay is xoming up and you're all invited. Don't...don't AAAAAAHHHHH! Don't tell Tobi! He'll crash the party. We're going to go on a killing spree with my friend Tom. Itachi, I think you and Deidara will like him. He's dark and a lot of fun.

Sincerely,
Buns

P.S.- Leader-sama is invited too! You can each bring one guest. NOT TOBI!



~~~


Dear Buns,


Okie, We'll be there!


Itachi: I'm ganna bring kisame!
Kisame: I'm bringing deidara!
Deidara: And I'm bringing Itachi!


Wheeee! Go tom! Tom and jerry^_^ LOL


Sincerely yours,
Itachi, Kisame, Deidei chan

Tobi: Did I hear something about a party---*gets shot*
Itachi: *phew*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
I shall now blame everything on you. Every time I trip and fall I will blame you, every time I get hurt, I will blame you, and soon you will not have any fan girls left because you hurt a girl!! And no fan girls means no Tomatoes or Muffins!!
Sincer--- Err not Sincerely,
Monica
Ps. Tell Kisame I said "Hi" S2


~~~


Dear Monica,


*gasp* *sobsob* You're a cruel cruel person! *sobsob* I want muffins! And doughnuts! O_O Er...I mean riceballs...^_^
stupid americanization.....


Sincerely yours,
Itachi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochimaru,

-points at you- You're a freezer-crazed manwhore...AND I LIKE IT! -jumps on you-

Glomping you,
Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


*points at YOU*
You're an obsessive and compulsive fangirl! .....and I like it^_^


Kabuto: But she's a GIRL!
Me: *gasp* *shots kabuto*


Sincerely yours,
Orochimaru


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Shikamaru,
Living is troublesome...
Sincerely shoving Sasuke down Naruto's toilet,
Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


Yeah, but suicide's MORE troublesome!


Sincerely laughing at a certain uchiha,
Shika----*too troublesome to write whole name*


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To-Garra-chan or Panda-chan
From-Your childhood playmate Rika Suriki

Dear Panda-chan,
HI! Do you remember that I was your child hood playmate?? Then someanbu people took me away from Suna and made me live in Kahona! I am yu childhood playmate! Or friend... Anyway I'm comming to see you!
Sincerly
Rika
P.S. Remember that ball we used to play with!?!?!? I still have it! Lets play with it!! *giggle*


~~~


Dear Rika,


Ohh yeeaahhh! You're the one that I met in kindergarden!
*reunion music plays*
Will...you marry me?


Temari: O_O WTH?
Me: T..temari? How long have you been sping on me?
Temari: Long enough to know you're a werido
Me: Long enough for me to kill you? *glare*
Temari: O_O N...No not that long *runs*


Sincerely yours,
Gaara


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maxium of 3 letters pwease^_^

Oompa's the hamtaro language! wheeee! I feel special for no reason what so ever! Okie..lots to letters, lets get started shall we?
And oh yeah, I've stopped doing ^_^ and went on to ^^ cause I'm lazy. CHA!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To-Panda-chan!!!
From-Rika (call me Riri!)

Dear Panda-chan or Garra-can,
YAY!! you luv me! I will marry you!...Temari is wierd..Don't you think!? Tell her if she calls you weird I'll attack her until no tommrow!
Love,
Rika or Riri


~~~


Dear Rik..er..Riri,


I..feel..loved...for the first time in 7 thousand years! O_O


Temari: Er...How old are you again?
Gaara: Riri that's your cue! ATTACK!
Temari: That's MY cue to run *runs*
Gaara: Che, loser
Sasuke: Hey that's MY catch phrase!
Gaara: Attack him along too will ya?
Sasuke: O_O *runs* Wait up Temari!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sincerely yours,
Gaara
Ps, I'm not a panda. Pandas are cute an cuddly..I'm vicious and hott *poses for magazine* Chaz


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
Sorry about what Monica did,
She is my sister (Isnt fate cruel~) and she absolutly loves Kisame and so she decided to get rid of all your fan girl 'cause she thinks you don't deserve to have more fans than Kisame~

Sincerely,
Kazuomi
P.s. Err... What was I going to say...Oh yes, Pie is better than Muffins and Tomatoes



~~~


Dear Kazuomi,


Sister? O_O Not brother? Wow, fate IS cruel! You should really get a brother, they're fun to mess with.


Sasuke: Itachi you Ba***rd! What did you do with my Snuggle face you son of a ramen!!!! That was my beepin' plushie and you ate him you *more cuss words*
Itachi: *sweatdrop*


Okay, sister's are fine....*backs off*
Anyhoo, tell her that Kisame's a fish. That should scar her for about 5 minutes.


Sincerely yours,
Itachi
Ps, ewww muffins! We elites do NOT like muffins! But tomatoes are awesome! Pie's good when it's filled with tomatoes ^^


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sakura,
Why do you bother with Sasuke?You are so out of his leage and your embarrasing your self.You should focus on Neji because he is a loner and won`t know how annoying you are.And you guys will look great together.Anyway,Sasuke bits his toenails, no matter what he says to deny it, so why would you still like him?
From,kagome204



~~~


Dear Kagome204,


First thing's first? Are you THEE kagome from Inuyasha? Cause if you are, tell kikyo to *beeep*ing die will ya?
Anyways, I already answered that in the other chapters, He.Has.Money.
Other than that I hate him


Sasuke: WTH? O_O
Sakura: But I'm still ganna get the 5 bucks you owe me right?
Sasuke: WTH? O_O
Sakura: *sigh*


Okay, I guess Neji's alright. Cept he's with twenty


Tenten: It's tenten NOT twenty!
Sakura: 10 plus 10 is twenty!
Tenten: *glare*
Sakura: *backs off*

Sasuke does WHAT?


Sasuke: Whatever it is, it's not true
Sakura: *shocked*


Sincerely scarred for life and being chased by tenten,
Sakura


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Sasuke,

Did you find out what it was that made you so attracted to me? (Eimi) Why did you kiss me and tried to tongue kiss me?

Sincerely confused,
Eimi Koei

P.S. I may have a thing for you.
P.S.S. You are still a cakatoo butt
P.S.S.S Do you like me?


~~~


Dear Eimi Koei,


1. Um...is it the fact that you own a tomato farm?
2. O______O I have the right to not answer that one...


Naruto: What? you did what?
Sasuke: You didn't hear anything...Naru-chan *purrs*


Sincerely straight,
Sasuke
Ps. Really? What's the thing? Is it a tomato?
Pps. *gasp* Why does everyone say that? I'm just emo that's all! *sobsob*
Ppps. If I do, Naru-chan will be very unhappy (and hott) oops, you didn't hear that.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Neji,

Did you know that I have a thing for you? If you had to make me chose between you and Sasuke who would it be?

Your One True Love
Eimi Koei


~~~


Dear Eimi,


1. You do? O_O
2. I'd choose you. If I chose sasuke, Naruto will kill me. Then eat me. Then kill me again. Then probably eat me again.


Sincerely yours,
Neji


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Gaara,

Before now, did you ever fall asleep on accident? I mean, like, when you were five, did you pass out or something on your siblings?

Just curious,
CGB



~~~


Dear CGB,


Hmmm...


*Flashback*


Chibi gaara (CG): Temari chan, I don't wunna pwlay super mario bros anymore. My wunna build a sandcastle...


Chibi Temari (CT): Nah, I'd rather play this.


CG: But bwut but....*puppy eyes*


CT: Go play with Naruto


CG: But he lives in another village!


CT: So?


CG: *sniff* fine...*goes to konoha*


ANBU: Who the fudge are you?


CG: I'm gwarra of the sandcastle


ANBU: Um...I don't like you...you killed my hamster


CG: Bwut...


ANBU: You know what? I'm ganna draw on you for no reason what so ever.....*grabs sharpie marker*


Gaara: WTH is that?


ANBU: *hugs* Love...


*End of flashback*


And that's how I got the love symbol on my head.


Temari: isn't the question "have you ever passed out when you're five"?
Gaara: Oh yeah.....when I nearly died of boredom watching you play your freakin' mario!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Temari: Speaking of mario...I need to kill Luigi now..see ya bro! *runs*


Sincerely yours,
Gaara


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Rochi-teme,

I know you run the Sound village, but if you ask me, Kabuto does way more work there than you do. If he takes vacations, how bad a state of disrepair does the village get into before he comes back and sets everything straight?

Standing by with the flamethrower,
CGB



~~~


Dear CGB,


Hmm..lets see...


*Flashback*


Oro: Okie....Kabuto went to ballet camp and left me alone....oh well..don't need him anyways.


*3 minutes later*


Tayuya: orochimaru sama, just to inform you, Kimimaru killed the other sound nins, Anko chan escaped to Konoha, the sand vil betrayed us, Sasuke went to another anime, and your freezer broke down.


oro: O_O NUU! Not my freezer!!! I hide my dead bodies in there!!!!!!!!!!


Tayuya: ...


Oro: Okay...I..can fix..it..


*3 minutes later*


Tayuya: Orochimaru sama, Just to inform you again, Kimimaru died, the sound vil was ran over by an ice cream truck, Anko tryed to kill me and succeeded, we lost the whole village to Konohamaru and how he uses it as a play ground and Sasuke's still in Samurai deeper kyo...


Oro: I..can..fix..........it!


*3 minutes later*


Tayuya: Orochimaru Sama, Kabuto returned


*1 second later*


Tayuya: orochimaru sama, Everything's fixed


oro: See? I knew i could fix it


Kabuto: Actually, I did ---


Oro: Oh go screw a helmet!


*end of flashback*


Sincerely yours,
Orochimaru


(Neko's notes: Just to let you know, kabuto translated to helmet and there's a kid named sasuke in samurai deeper kyo...hope you got the joke)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Zetsu-sama,

When Deidara-san was getting his arms re-attached, did they let you into the hospital to visit him, or were they too afraid to let you in?

Also, out of curiousity, how do the bodies in the morgue taste compared to other bodies?

You eternal servant,
CGB



~~~


dear CGB,


They did, unfortuatly I ate them. And deidei chan had to use duct tape for the operation since the medical nins were eaten.
The bodies were kinda salty...maybe cause the hospital was under the sea...I got to say hi to spongebob ^^


Sincerely yours,
Zetsu


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kakashi,
I want a divorce so I can stalk you, Shika-kun, AND Orochi-teme. Orochi-teme is way hotter than you. -smirks-
Signed,
Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


Only if you gimmi the next volume of make out paaradise. Only then will I accept your marrage


Sakura: She said devorce...
kakashi: *gasp* W..why?


Sincerely going emo,
kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Shika-kun,
I'm going to kidnap you to save you from the troublesome underworld. If you agree, I'll let you help me torture certain people. -smirks-
Signed,
Kat



~~~


Dear Kat,


Sweet! I wanna be troublesomely saved!! It's so untroublesome! ^^
Certain people? Ohhhh..you mean rock lee for stealing my banana? yeah....


Sincerely yours,
Shika


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Oro, Kakashi, Shika,
Kakashi, go make out with Iruka or I'm stealing your books. All of them. Orochimaru, videotape it and I'll make you evil muffins. Shikamaru, be my manslave or else I will lock you in a room with Temari, a computer stuck on TemariXshika and InoXshika fanfictions, and Ino. Got it? Good.
Signed,
The Almighty Torture Mistress, Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


You sick sick person....We will kill you later...


Kakashi: Well, I kinda LIKE the idea of me an iruka *purrs*


Oro: O_O *backs off*


Shika: It's so troublesome to find the girls and then get locked and the---- *too lazy to talk*


oro: *grabs video tape* hey, I'm only doing this for the muffins.....


*3 minutes later*


oro: *at a state of shock* for the muffins, for the muffins, for the muffins....


Sincerely ganna kill you,
Kaka Shika Oro


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kiba and Shikamaru,
I adore you both but I don't know who I like more. Give me three reasons on why I should like you both.

Love Tiff



~~~


Dear Tiff,


Kiba: I have a dog and every girl loves puppies *wink wink*


Shika: I'm troublesome and lazy


Kiba: I have fleas..fleas of Looooove


Shika: I like temari and ino


Kiba: Finally, I'm hott, awesome, and rich *winkeh*


Shika: My hair style represents a pineapple..


Sincerely yours,
Kiba and shika


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi
Can you love me ?
Can you kill sasuke ?
Will you kill sasuke ?
Can you make Sasuke Burn in He** ?
Can you do it now ?
Can Gaara
Are you Gay ?
Is your Sand Gay ?
Do you love kankuro ?
And Orochimaru
Are you a girl ?
Can you kill Sasuke ?
Can you do it now ?
If i pay you ?
Please ?
And sasuke
Can you die ?
Now ?
Please ?
DO you know that i want you to die ?
and Naruto
Can you kill sasuke ?
Can you do it now ?
Please ?
And Itachi Omg i love you do you
like me please do OMg please
I'll do anything i mean
Anything
Thanks love
ShySakura ^_^


~~~



Dear Shysakura,



Itachi:

1. Um...
2. yeah cause I'm cool, hott, and a total virgin
3. But I want him to restore my clan for me...
4. That I can do
5. What do you have against my wittle chibi of a bwother!!!!!!! *sniff*


Gaara:


1. Is rock lee is a guy, then yes
2. yeah, with dirt
3. Ever heard of brotherly love?
4. No.
5. No.
6. Hell yeah!
7. Finally, someone who supports me!


Sasuke:


1. Avengers don't die. Period.
2. For god sake NO!
3. NO! I need to restore my freakin' clan! (translation: make out with girls)
4. Yes. *glareing*


Naruto:


1. y..yeah I guess...
2. sure...do you want me to do it with the kunai or the shuriken?
3. or both?

Itachi: Will you restore my clan? *winkeh* (you really don't need the translation do you?)


Sincerely yours,
Itachi, Naruto, gaara, and a pissed off sasuke.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kakashi,

Do not go out with Iruka or I'm BURNING your books. You know. All of them. EVERYONE. And don't give me that look - I know it. You will go out with Kabuto or else...

Shika, go for Temari

Signed,
Eithne


~~~


Dear Eithne,


W..why...must..you...kill my chidren? *sobsob* WHYYYYYYYY
(yeah he reeally love those books)
If I go out with helmet, will you revive my kids?
*sobsob*


Sincerely giving a moment of silence for make out pasradise,
Kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kakashi,

Do not listen to the evil Eithne. I already have your books and am holding them hostage so that she cannot get them! One wrong step and I'm giving them to the fangirls! They're worse than fire!!!

Signed,
Kat


~~~


Dear Kat,


F..fangirls? O____O


*flashback*


kakashi: So how much are for these books agai----


Fangirls: *glomp* kaka baby!!!!!


kakashi: ...


*later*


Kakashi: *sigh* Cleaning pakkun's doodoo sucks...


fangirls: *glomp* Hi kaka baby!!!


Kakashi: *falls foreward* Crud...


*later*


kakashi: *in the bathroom*


Fangirls: *glomp* Hi kaka baby!!!!


kakashi: WILL YOU FREAKIN' GIMMI SOME PRIVACY FOR THE HOKAGE'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!


Fangirls: *purr glomp purr glomp*


Kakashi: *sigh*


*end of flashback*


They are WAYYYYY worse than fire....


Sincerely yours,
kakashi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Due to me having to go to walmart, I will finish the last 2 letters later...keep sending! Max- 2 letters now..sowy..

*sigh* Wheeeee--*gets shot*


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Agent Ramen Hokage,
Your next mission is as follows: protect the sacred one from the vile tree.
I expect a full report on completion of your mission.
-Agent LizNiz
PS: Yes, you have to. Don't sign contracts when you're drunk.



~~~


Dear Agent Lizniz,


Yosh!!!!


*hyper cam*


naruto: Okie....who the heck is the sacred one?
Tora: That'll be me....
Naruto: Tora? the cat I saved in the first season?
Tora: yep, the one with the ribbon ^^
Naruto: Hm....hows life with the fat lady?
Tora: I ate her
naruto: Word...
Tora: So arn't you ganna protect me from the catnip tree? you know how I can get high off of it.
naruto: meh, sure...*throws tora in the ocean* Now the tree will never get you! why? Cause trees can't swim! ha!


Sincerely yours,
naruto


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
Yesterday I was eating a fish stick and I remembered what you said (To tell my sister Kisame was a fish) and so I grabbed my fish sticks and walked into her room. I go up to her and say "You know, Kisame is a fish right?" She just stares at me and so I Say "want a fish stick?" and hold one out.
I learned something:
1)Never mess with a rabid fangirl
2)My sister hates seafood
3)Ice is cold when a bowl of it is dumped down your back by a rabid fangirl
Sincerely Kazuomi
Ps. I wish I had a brother, Ill trade ya.
PssI stole my sisters stuffed animal and she dint give a damn.
Psss. I stole her ramen and got slapped....



~~~


Dear kazuomi,


Whoa! I didn't expect that to happen!!!! I mean, lwhenever someone does that to me, I just kill them...you should try the all patented uchiha death glare sometimes...it really works!!! ^^


1. Correction: never mess with a rapid fangirl when you're not armed with 70 kunai, 190 shurikens, and and the fangirl-be-gone spray.


2. Hmm...no wonder she almost killed nemo.


3. O_____O''


Sincerely yours,
Itachi
PS. sure!


Me: Yo! sasuke chan!
Sasuke: *pirks up* Ni..nii san? I'm coming nii san!!!!! Nii san Nii san Nii san!!!
me: I want you to go to Kazuomi's house and never come back
Sasuke: B..But I wanna stay with nii san!
Itachi: I'll give you a tomatoe if you do what I say!
sasuke: T..Tomatoes? I love you Nii san!!!!! Nii san Nii san Nii san!!!
Itachi: note to self...sasuke+ family therapy = naruto jr.

PPS. next time, EAT the stuffed animal. Then she'll probably go nuts on you. *remembers snuffy face* oh the good old times...


PPPS. Sister + ramen = naruto jr too..wow...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Kiba,
Get rid of the fleas on you and the stinky smell and I'll marry you. I adore you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love Tiff^-^



~~~


dear Tiff,


But the fleas are my friend! Plus, the smell attracts Naruto! *dreamy look* Mmm...naruto...


Sincerely yours,
Kiba


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Deidara,
Thanks for coming to my party I had a lot of fun. Don't tell Itachi that he is not pregnant! The pillow-under-the-shrit trick gets him everytime. I find it funny that he believes that it's Kisame's baby...their fish-baby!

Dear Kakashi,
Did you steal my porn while I was drunk? I want my Icha Icha back now! Oh and yes that is the newest volume!

Dear Itachi and Kisame,
Congratulations on the baby. You will both make wonderful parents.

Dear Mr Leader,
Thanks for coming to my party. It was fun getting drunk together. Your hair is very fuuuzy!

Enjoy everything,
Buns



~~~


Dear Buns,


Um..okay...sure....


Me: hey Itachi! You're pregnant!
Itachi: *dreamy look* with sasuke?
Me: No with kisame.
Itachi: O_O


Kakashi-


dear Buns,


Right after I finish chapter 6 k? This is the part where *CENSORED*


Itachi and Kisame-


Dear buns,


Itachi: Yeah...right after the older brother decides to kill us!!!!
Kisame: ...no comment O_O


Leader-


Oh you don't have to call me leader. call me Yondai----um.....Mr Uzumai-----oh wait...that's a spoiler too...hm.....oh just call me fuzzy face!!


Sincerely yours,
Everyone


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Check out www.fanfiction.net!

Wheeeee...*pause* Oh wait, new catchphrase....KYAAAA!!!! ^^ word
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Shikamaru,
The house needs a-cleanin' and Orochimaru needs a-capturing! GET TO WORK!
Signed,
Kat

~~

Dear Kat,

Well....what if I said it was too troublesome?
Chouji: Then I'll kill you
Me: pfft you? yeah right fatty!
Chouji: *grone* Blubber-style: Lard fatty accesss shika-be-gone jutsu! *burrrrrp*
Me: *hazing* C...can't breath....so much....fat! *gasp*

Attention: This letter could not be finished due to shikamaru being dead. Thanky you


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Orochimaru,
If a very lazy boy shows up on your doorstep, you're going with him. He'll bring you to me, my dear. >:D
Signed,
Kat

~~~

Dear Kat,

*looks out the door* Nope...no lazy boy ther--- *sees chouji carring dead shikamaru* Um..gotta run! *runs to kenya*


Love,
Oro

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Itachi-Kun
Uhh well Umm I
Ummm I uhhh Kinda Sorta uhh
* Eyes Turn red *
I BEEPING LOVE YOU I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME YOUR NOT GAY
*hugs Itachi*
I luv you T.T
love,
Emo_Girl

~~~

Deaer Emo_girl,

*blush* My my! I'm flattered! These days, it's hard to get a fanGIRL! Ever since orochimaru's freezer broke..*sigh* The good old times...

Me: *shouts out window* Sorry little bro, the date's off!
Sasuke: Awwww.....

Love,
Itachi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Itachi, It dint work! I ate my sisters.. Well now your sisters stuffed animal and she dint care! I mean its a GIRL! Girls love stuffed animals... She only has a few of them too. And they are like all cow/hippos/fish!
Sincerely,
Kazuomi
Ps. How do you like the trade so far? Sasuke is actully kinda kool to have around
Pss Sasuke says Hi

~~~


Dear Kazuomi,

Sweet! I used to eat Kisame's things and he would flip out on me! Literally! He used me as a trampoline yesterday! Cows rule! They go moo!

Love,
Itachi
PS. Just make sure you keep the tomatoes far far away from him. You don't wanna know what happens when he sees tomatoes
PPS. Tell him I killed his mom yesterday when she blamed MOI for the trampoline incident.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Itachi,
Does this mean im your sister? I mean it was kinda weird having sasuke and Kazuomi walk into my room and tell me that you guys traded.. Funny thing is, then he grabbed my stuffed animal and.. ate it... that was kinda funny, but after he ate it he looked dissipointed...
w.e
Sincerely,
Your sister?
Monica

~~~

Dear Monica,

Yep yep *nod nod* ^^ Hehe, and I can't wait to show you my room! Muhaha *cough* You, my young grasshopper shall begin my training of extream torture using waffles!!!!! Kukuku

Love,
Your big brother Itachi.
PS. Can I call you sasuke? PLEEEESE? I'm not used to being other people's big brother....*weasle face*

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Kiba,
I took a love test and it said that Kakashi was my one true love. What will I do ?
Tiff

~~

Dear Tiff,

Two words: extreme therapy

Love,
Kiba

~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Itachi,
Fangirl of yours!!!!Depends on how you answer the question if I still wanna be.Are you POSITIVE you don`t have a thing for Naruto?Or even Diedra?I know that you said your not gay,but really.
P.S.Please tell Sakura that Kikyo is on her way to kill her because she wanted me to pass the message on.


~~

Dear person, (pwease put from: name here) *weasle face*

I'm pretty sure I don't have a thing or naruto or deidara. Yes, positive! You know, I'm only hanging out with naruto to get close to sasuke...ever since I traded him for a sister, I miss his duck haired duckieness!

Love,
Itachi
PS. She says lure her away using some weird thingy called a shikon jewel....I think it's waffles..yes....waffles...

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Sasu-chan,

Don't you realize that you're a better uke? Oro must have proved it to you by now^^ Go back to Naru-chan and let him be seme!!!!

with love,

Nao.


~~

Dear Nao,

uke? UKE?????? UKEEEEEE?!!?!!?! WTH?? I am NOT an uke!!!! I mean come on! Just cause I have uke in my name dosn't mean I'm yao---- *pause* Actually...you're right.....O_O *awkward silence* *goes back to eating waffles*

Love,
Sasuke

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Orochimaru,
I created a new village where they give out free toasters and freezers. It's Yamigakure and I'm the Hokage. Sound good? That's where Shikamaru-kun'll be...And I'll kidnap the Uchiha brats and Kabuto as well if you'd like. ^_^
Signed,
Kitty Kat

~~

Dear Kat,

Oh..My..God O___O D...did you say freezer???? SWEET! Freezers rule! *day dreams about itachi and sasuke dancing around a not so broken freezer* *dreamy sigh* Oh wonderful heaven....
And yes, kidnap them...lure the bros with tomatoes and tell kabuto that the village is a gay bar. they'll be here in no time ^^

Love,
oro

~~~~~~~~~~

WOOT!
Review!!!!