Vigil

Kakashi never lost the habit of waking at dawn.

It was as deeply ingrained in him as wearing his mask. He woke at dawn, ran through the day's schedule, and only then left his bed. On the days Pakkun was waiting with a scroll (message or order, he knew no one who would simply write correspondence), he would fix food for both himself and his summon. On the days where he walked through the small flat alone, hollow footsteps echoing off of empty walls, he ate nothing.

Some mornings he'd stare out of the window, still as a statue, as if waiting. Other mornings he might fix himself a small bundle, with food and drink. He spent the same amount of time regardless.

He left his flat at the same time each day, traveled along the same path, landed in front of the memorial the same way.

On the days there was someone present, he would read. Sometimes it was one of Jiraiya's novels, other times it something far more ordinary disguised to look like one of Jiraiya's novels. If he felt his company was taking too long, he would speak. He would comment on the weather, on politics, on the probability of some of the positions he had been reading in his book. (Whether or not the book actually described that position. One must compromise in extreme situations, after all.) Company left shortly after.

He never timed his morning vigil.

And only then did he allow himself to start his day.

This was how he kept control of his life.