Since Naruto moved in with Sasuke, he had always wanted to have a pet.
So jealous of Kiba who had Akamaru, Naruto decided one day that it was time for him to have a pet and went to a pet shop.

After looking around he spotted a parrot sitting on a little perch; it didn't have any feet or legs.
Naruto said out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

"I was born this way," said the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."

"Ha, ha," Naruto laughed. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me."

"I understand every word," said the parrot again. "I am a highly intelligent and thoroughly educated bird."

"Yeah?" the blond asked. "Then answer this: how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot said, "this is a little embarrassing, but since you asked, I will tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," said Naruto in awe, "you really can understand and answer; can't you?"

"Of course. I speak both Japanese and English. I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any subject: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. And I am especially good at ornithology. You should buy me; I am a great companion."

The little Uzumaki looked at the $200.00 price tag. He said. "I can't afford that."

"Pssst," the parrot hisseed, motioning the guy over with one wing. "Nobody wants me because I don't have any feet. You can get me for $20.00; just make an offer."

Naruto offered twenty dollars and walked out with the parrot. Weeks went by and the parrot was sensational, even Sasuke liked him. He was funny; he was interesting; he was a great pal, he understood everything, sympathized, and gave good advice. Naruto was delighted, especially when Kiba got jealous of him.

One day Naruto came home from a mission and the parrot said, "Pssst," and motioned him over with one wing. The blond shinobi went up close to the cage. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not," said the parrot, "but it's about your lover and the Hyuuga boy."

"What?" asked Naruto.

"Well," the parrot said, "Neji came in today and I think he wanted to show Sasuke some reports about their last mission. They kept whispering stuff to each other that didn't have anything to do with the reports and then your lover kissed him on the mouth."

"What happened then?" asked Naruto, utterly shocked.

"Then Neji came into the house and put his hand on your lover's crotch and began petting him all over," reported the parrot.

"My God!" Naruto said. "Then what?"

"Then he pulled down the reports, got down on his knees and began to lick him, starting with his chest, slowly going down and down. I saw him unzipping Sasuke's pants and taking hold of his dick." The parrot paused for a long time...

"And? What happened? What happened?" said the frantic Naruto.

"That's what pisses me off. I don't know." said the parrott. "I got a hard-on, and fell off my fucking perch."


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Noriko:

Muahahahaha, that parrot rules^^