Reviews For Shinobi Diaries: The Golden Sage Chronicles
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 04/02/15 - 11:30 am · For: Rescue Mission
Yo! This was another awesome chapter. I really liked how you had the characters handle things like Naruto doing a henge to hide himself and I really liked how you had him replace the guards with clones to take over the camp. I hope Akira can save Naruto as well but it seems like Naruto has a hold on things so we'll see. Update soon.
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 05/08/14 - 09:05 am · For: The bandits of Girias
Sweet I'm glad they didn't just leave Akira there to die. Naruto did the right thing. Wonder what that powder was seeing as it really messed up Akira. Sweet, we keep seeing glimpses of Sasuke but not really to what he's up to.
One thing that confused me is how abruptly you changed the scene from Akira's thoughts to Sasuke travelling. I get what you were going for but I would reccommend something like a page break or something that signals the change in scene.
Other than that, awesome! Keep at it.
Author's Response: I have always like many others maintained that Kishimoto has spoiled a great character in Sasuke. With his back-story he had the potential to be a great anti-hero. But Kishimoto just turned him into an emo-douche. I hope to succeed where he failed. Thanks for the review
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 03/08/14 - 12:21 pm · For: Forests of Girias
Sweet ass chapter. You had the scenes set up really nicely, I could imagine the dark creepy forest really vividly. The battle was epic and of course Akira is a major bad ass.The part when Naruto threw the knife and Akira observed that it was meant for close combat - Did you pull that from the show Arrow? Because if so then that is awesome and I love Arrow! Well that was an awesome chapter. Good job!
Author's Response: I sort of did pull it from Arrow. I like that show. It really wasn't planned though. I mean I wrote the scene and I realized its similarity with it. And then I decided what the hell.... lets go the entire way. Glad you liked Akira. She is pivotal to the plot and you will be seeing a lot more of her.
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 29/07/14 - 09:16 pm · For: A Soldier's Home
Awesome! This story has an interesting mystery to it that is really capturing my...well...interest haha. I want to know whats going on but I know you'll reveal that slowly and surely. This girl Akira has me intrigued and I know I'll learn more about her later on. I'm still wondering about the tomoe in Rei's eyes in the previous chapter. Lots of questions and no answers so it means I'll just have to read more. Great chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I am excited to continue too. Keep reviewing. Reviews like the ones you write are the ones that keep me motivated
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 25/07/14 - 02:54 pm · For: The Accursed
Well shit I was not expecting any of that to go down. The wolf seemed terrifying to say the least. You did good with the fight scene, describing it and everything. Hell Anya is a samurai? Now you've really captured my interest... and good thing I have more to read. Awesome!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. More twists and turns on the way.
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 25/07/14 - 01:19 pm · For: Shattered Illusion
Sorry I haven't reviewed in a while. I see you've posted several chapters so I'll for sure keep reading on.
Anyways, nice chapter! It was nice seeing Naruto aka Tenzo connecting with these kids and really building a community with them. I think you also did well with the drama between Anya and Naruto, it was well played out and realistic.
I wonder if Naruto will find what he's looking for, especially since you left us with that cliffhanger.
Awesome chapter! I'll keep reading on.
Author's Response: That's okay. I have missed your reviews and I am just glad to see you back. Enjoy the rest of it
Name: mst88 (Signed) · Date: 20/07/14 - 09:41 am · For: Forests of Girias
Excellent!
Author's Response: A one word review........ I will take it thanks!
Name: mst88 (Signed) · Date: 08/07/14 - 09:05 am · For: A Soldier's Home
This was much better!
Name: mst88 (Signed) · Date: 07/07/14 - 12:36 pm · For: A Soldier's Home
A very good chapter but it repeated itself so you had the single chapter twice. Look forward to reading more!
Author's Response: Thanks for bringing this to my attention. Just one thing, you probably read the unedited version which got posted by mistake. So you might want to read the more polished version. Thanks for the feedback
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 26/07/13 - 08:04 pm · For: Shattered Illusion
Like I said, each chapter leaves me loving this more and more. A few times you mixed up names and there were other mistakes mixed in. Another thing was you seemed to add in things that, although was good in explaining Naruto's addition to the society, felt kind of thrown in randomly and could have had more to them. This could be because you're trying to condense all these months down quickly and then get to the illusion breaking. Not entirely sure.
I thought Naruto would make that mistake when he first heard Akashi's name. My first thought was Kakashi as well. I really liked the start since it introduced him and brought us to the amusing scene at their house. For whatever reason I really like Akashi and hope to see more of him in the future. It's weird seeing Naruto so mature, and sad knowing what all led to this wisdom. But the he throws in some of his childish goofiness. Seems just like how Naruto would be in the future. Matured but still a kid at heart.
Naruto's integration into the village is very interesting and makes sense for the Hokage-wannabe. Plus his overall personality would make all of this easy. He's just always been so likable and dependable. Even Akashi could sense it right off the bat. The scene between Naruto and Anya was very sweet, though it makes me wonder what happened with Hinata. The final scene was very interesting and makes me wonder just what is going on and Naruto's original purpose for going there. What will he do now?
Once again an amazing chapter. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you for the awesome review. I will be going through the fic again and edit it once I have the inclination to do so. And yes you're right I did kinda hasten that part where I needed to show him as an essential part of the society. The reason is because the settlement won't be the setting of this story. Quite a few twists in the coming chapters. Thanks again and keep the reviews coming.
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 26/07/13 - 02:12 pm · For: Chapter 3
First off, with every chapter I find myself happier I started reading this because it's a great story. Secondly, this was an awesome chapter with just a few mistakes here and there.
I liked how we got a better look at all the personalities in this. Except for Rei's because I'm sure being quiet isn't the only thing about her personality. You can really feel how broken (not sure if that's the right word) the village is after the war. It's greatly damaged the village as well as the villagers. I agree with Naruto - never thought he'd be the calm one. But after everything, it's no surprise he'd grow up some.
There was one time between Naruto's talk with Ishaq and him being home where there was a little extra space. This was a good way to separate the scenes, but after that I didn't see it again, causing confusion a couple of times.
Never would have guessed a ton of D-ranked missions would lead to Naruto having a great ability to work a job. At least he can do that if he ever really stops being a shinobi. I loved how you introduced this new problem through a coincidence in Naruto's work. Good thing he became friends with Hamil. I'm curious as to what was in that unknown place and who it is that gave him the "suggestion".
I like Kara and Ishaq. They seem like a motherly and fatherly type that I hope to see more of. Kinda remind me of a couple from O-Parts Hunters (doubt you've heard of it. It's a manga by Kishimoto's twin brother). Kara is especially sweet. Her bickering with her husband was amusing and fun to read. I'm glad Naruto got a job with such nice people.
So did Naruto and Sasuke battle or was he in a fight with someone else? My guess is Naruto because of the reversed position thing. I hadn't thought about what would have happened with him before the war ended, but now I'm really curious. Sasuke was being spied on? By who? The people from last chapter?
This was an excellent chapter that sure leaves me with questions. Great job.
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 14/07/13 - 10:43 pm · For: Chapter 3
Very interesting. More devlopment, pretty solid. Left me very curious at the end. Nice mysterious setting. Good chap!
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 08/07/13 - 04:27 pm · For: Creeping Shadows
Again the only real problem was confusion. I had no clue a flashback had started so I was greatly confused since it said he was going to meet his wife and child, then suddenly he was at a bar.
Otherwise this is very interesting. For some reason Naruto using Yamato's old codename made me laugh. Wonder if he even realizes he did. I liked how you gave readers a view of the after effects of the war like you did. Then we get a peak at Naruto now. Hearing him say he was married made me wonder if someone had gone with him. Probably the part I was most curious as I read through this.
The flashback was amusing. The words before have me wondering who was speaking to Naruto and what they meant by it. The fact Naruto said he got the ability to sense the negative emotions from a friend later on make me wonder - does Naruto still hold Kyuubi? Again, just what happened? Hehe. I didn't think Naruto should be fighting anyone, but I didn't expect him to make friends out of the drunk men XD. That was a fun surprise.
So Anya and Rei, huh? Both seem to have their own past, and eager to find out what that is. As well as what all they'll do in the story.
Gosh, what a nice ending. Not leaving me completely curious at all XP. Is this what the voice from before was referencing? And what do they mean by Uchiha? Sasuke? And what cycle? Gah - I wanna know!
Great chapter. I look forward to more.
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 08/07/13 - 02:20 pm · For: Prologue
To begin with, I'm not used to reading character-centric stories, but I'll see where this goes. Second, I found it hard to keep up with the scenes. Even in the situations we knew who was speaking to a point, it grew confusing and the sudden scene changes threw me off because there was nothing to signify the change. No extra amount of spaces, no marks, no nothing.
I did really enjoy this story. I have wondered a on who would become Hokage. Although I've thought Sakura, I doubt I'd be able to write a story with it. Because of that it gives it a certain interest. Also you leave the question as to why Naruto apparently faked his death, how the war ended, what happened, and Judy what will happen next?
Although it was choppy and a bit confusing, I highly enjoyed this and liked the emotions. Although personally a NaruHina fan, I really felt my heart wrench reading Sakura's pain. Pairings may not even play a role in this, but the way it sounded it was like a type of love forming between them. Could have totally read that wrong, though.
This was a really great start.
Author's Response: Yes, you'r right the story does have a few weaknesses, which I hope to remedy. It won't be a NaruSaku though. That ship has sailed. I leave it open to interpretation though. There will be romance mind you, and it will be important. Though it will be more of a side-plot. Thanks for the rview and hope to hear more from you.
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 01/07/13 - 09:10 pm · For: Creeping Shadows
Very nice development. I was kind of hoping Naruto wouldve kicked their asses but hey I like the way he took care of it. Tenzo is his alias huh? I have a character named Tenzo in one of my stories :P Ah Sasuke hm? Wonder what part he'll play in this. Pretty solid so update soon!
Author's Response: Yeah well..... Kicking asses would be cliched. This was more fun to write. That doesn't mean he wouldn't be kicking an ass or two. But he would be more behind the scenes kind of guy in this one. Again thanks for the review
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 24/06/13 - 11:08 am · For: Prologue
This was pretty good! So it's like a what if to multiple situations like what if Tsunade died, what if Naruto didn't become hokage etc etc. Pretty awesome start if you ask me.
There were a couple of things though. For one it's a bit choppy I would just reccomend putting together some of the one line sentences into a paragraph to make it all flow nicely. Also I saw you reused some words like curt. I was once told that using adjectives when someone is saying something takes away from the writing and that you should use said or says more than anything else.
But other than that it was an awesome start. I'm glad Sakura is Hokage and so Naruto faked his own death? Hmm I'm excited to see how that goes. Sasuke always being sneaky and appearing where you'd least expect it lol. Great job can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review.... Really appreciate it. The things you have criticised are exactly the editions I made. Some of my reviewers encouraged me to use short paras and avoid using 'said' too much. Its good to see a reader who understands that Sakura can be Hokage. (The amount of flak I got for that.... phew.) Anyway thanks again... Hope to hear more from you.