Reviews For Find Me
Name: purpledinosaur (Signed) · Date: 06/11/12 - 11:59 am · For: Chapter 1
Pretty good for a first timer. You show talent...anyone can see that. You are a little repetitive with the I's though. Of course, that's my problem too lol. One thing that I have learned over the time of me writing on this site is hold the reviewers close because they help you. Some can be harsh *cough*silverwolf and Nkbz*cough* but they are trying to help. Tbh Nkbz is one of the harshest, but he has good intentions. I can't wait to see where this goes :D
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 04/11/12 - 07:00 pm · For: Chapter 1
I wasn't really that confused with this until you started describing Shina's movements as she got comfortable for sleep. I had trouble imagining just how Shina was moving around or what she looked like while laying down. Everything else before that was good in my opinion.
Your grammar and sentence structure really needs to be cleaned up though. Since this was only a 500 word chapter, mistakes a lot more noticeable, especially when there's a few of them.
She was nothing my my previous significant others.
....pulling as side of the comforter up to lay beneath it
Little things, plus grammar and such as I mentioned above.
This was an interesting start though, and I do wonder where you'll go with it. Keep up the good work.
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 04/11/12 - 03:44 pm · For: Chapter 1
To tell the truth, I'm a bit confused as to what is going on, though I do find it quite interesting. I cannot promise I'll keep on reading (seeing as I tend to have trouble reading romance and from an adult's PoV), but seeing as it was your first and sounded interesting, I decided to check it out.
It was quite interesting, despite the confusion. I really want to get to know her more. Just a slight thing, but maybe you shouldn't just list her characteristics. We need to learn that about her - not be told about her.
I can't wait to see where this goes, and I am eager to see how you grow because you're already really good. How long have you been writing since I doubt that this is your first try at actually writing a story. If so, you deserve a lot of love for this.
Great job, Winnie-chan (is it okay if I call you that for now?)!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for giving it a chance. :) I'm sorry for the confusion! I read through it a couple times and whatever I did I couldn't make it flow easier. Hopefully the next chapter is a lot better.
I figured it wouldn't be a great idea to list her characteristics, but I was afraid that I hadn't put enough description about her when she was actually introduced, but I'll definitely keep that in mind!
I actually thought of this chapter a few weeks ago, but I didn't have the time until now to actually get it ready to post it anywhere, but thank you so much~
Of course it is! Thanks again for reading and reviewing <3~