TONFA
The Original Naruto Fanfic Archive

Main Categories

Het Romance [1096]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around different sex couples.
Alternate Universe & Crossovers [648]
Where cast of the Naruto Universe are inserted into an alternate universe.
Essays & Tutorials [16]
An area to submit intelligent essays debating topics about the Naruto Universe and writing tutorial submissions.
 
General Fiction [1743]
Any Naruto fanfiction focused without romantic orientation, on a canon character in the current Naruto Universe.
OC-centric [869]
Any Naruto fanfic that has the major inclusion of a fan-made character.
Non-Naruto Fiction [292]
Self-evident
 
Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance [1574]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around male same sex couples.
MadFic [201]
Any fic with no real plot and humor based. Doesn't require correct spelling, paragraphing or punctuation but it's a very good idea.
 
Shojo-ai/Yuri Romance [106]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around female same sex couples.
Fan Ninja Bingo Book [124]
An area to store fanfic information, such as bios, maps, political histories. No stories.
Juvi-Fics [2]
Because no fic is deleted, if a fic doesn't abide by the rules of the category or author doesn't respond to mods, it belongs here.
 
 

Site Info

Members: 11687
Series: 261
Stories: 5905
Chapters: 25596
Word count: 47844377
Authors: 2167
Reviews: 41283
Reviewers: 1757
Newest Member: uvypyn
Challenges: 255
Challengers: 193
 



Name: nkbz (Signed) · Date: 26/07/12 - 09:02 pm · For: Chapter 1
D'aww you're so cute with your mary-sue self insert living in the narutoverse :3

Too bad it's not good enough to make it stand out among the million others exactly like it.


Name: Shinzui (Signed) · Date: 17/07/12 - 02:03 pm · For: Chapter 1
I think it's a good start so far and I like your OC.
Can't wait to read more(:

Author's Response: Thank you! :D


Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 17/07/12 - 06:51 am · For: Chapter 1
There were a few spelling mistakes, some homonym issues, sometimes you'd forget a word, and little errors like that. This was also a bit hard to read just because everything was so scrunched together.

Sometimes, the scenes would seem really choppy to me, I think you need to describe the setting and thoughts a little better. It didn't have enough flow to keep my attention in some areas.

Also, adding author notes in the middle of the chapter, that's a big no no. If you have to describe the kekkei genkai, incorporate it into the story. Stopping the story to elaborate on something takes away from the reading experience.

Another thing I just want to nitpick at: Why didn't the Akatsuki tie Sakuma up when they captured her? Okay, Kisame was holding her and everything, but if she isn't tied up and she's conscious, it's actually rather careless on the Akatsuki's part.

I'm also a bit frustrated that the village leader completely brushed off these "stalkers" and "attempts to kill". That's very un-leader-like. Really hard to believe, in fact.

Now, as for the things that I like...

I do like your OC, she has spunk and she's interesting to read about. I think it'll be fun to read more about her as the story goes on.

I also like how you describe attacks and combat moves. Sakuma's abilities are pretty well written when you write action scenes. Even if they were short, they were still rather good. I'd like to see what you do in a full-out battle scene.

This was an interesting start to the story, I look forward to more. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Thanks for making my mistake clear for me, I'll try and work on it. :)


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