Reviews For Worth the Trouble?
Name: BattyBigSister (Signed) · Date: 07/07/11 - 10:24 am · For: Temari Day 3 Part Two
Very creepy. He's downright frightening in some of his conversation and you can feel Temari's distress and uncomfortableness. I can't help wondering what on earth is going to happen next. This could go anywhere.
Author's Response: Thank you. I look forward to making it go to the moon and back now that I am back :)
Name: BattyBigSister (Signed) · Date: 07/07/11 - 09:45 am · For: Shikamaru Day 4 Part One
Spelling, Glomp-chan honey. It's my bug-bear too, but I'm obliged to point out that I've noticed a few typos here and there.
This was really good. The whole scene was really intense and hectic, in line with the feeling of the action. You got a real sense of Shikamaru's worry. The set-up was nice too. Very like his old mission in the plot/filler. A really great chapter.
Author's Response: Typo's? Really? I read through it twice. Eep!rnrnCould you point them out for me? I guess I didn't do as much proof reading as I thought I had done.
Name: BattyBigSister (Signed) · Date: 07/07/11 - 09:32 am · For: Temari Day 3 Part One
Yes, it's Batty O'Nee-san again. Now then, that was a lovely charactisation of Temari. You really got her essence down perfectly. This was an interesting study of her and her feelings for her brothers and also for Konoha and Shikamaru and then it came with an interesting plot twist right at the end which spiced things up.
There were a few minor inconsistencies in the details. You made it sound like only 2 days fom Konoha to Suna near the start, then later (correctly) mentioned 3 and at another point you talked about Kankurou standing in his younger siblings shadow, when Temari is older than him.
Otherwise this was well-written and a lovely chapter. I enjoyed it.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your reviews. I love the chance to make my work better. I really sincerely appreciate your help. Thank you.rnrnOne question: I always thought that Kankuro was the older sibling. I couldn't find it in the manga, so I asked a few of my friends and they all said that Temari was younger. Are you sure that she is older?
Name: BattyBigSister (Signed) · Date: 07/07/11 - 09:13 am · For: Goodbye
You know I'd love to know what actually happens at the beginning here. Any chance of a re-write? You posting a brief summary? Something like that?
Author's Response: I'm sorry, I'm not sure I know what you mean. Do you mean a story summary? I have one of those up already. What needs clarification? What needs to be re-written? I'd be glad to make corrections, I always love to make things better, but I'm not sure I know what you mean.
Name: UchihaX (Signed) · Date: 06/07/11 - 08:21 pm · For: Temari Day 3 Part Two
That gut is creepyish is he your OC or what? See, I like the part that she thinks about her brothers. Does she really do that in the episodes?
Author's Response: Yes, he is an OC. This character does not exist in the Cannon manga nor the anime. I'm glad that my OC seemed real enough to be scary :)
Name: UchihaX (Signed) · Date: 06/07/11 - 08:11 pm · For: Shikamaru Day 4 Part One
Hey I like how Shikamaru is so worried about her he has never really acted like that. you come up with excellent ideas.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm glad that people are enjoying my stories :)
Name: UchihaX (Signed) · Date: 06/07/11 - 08:01 pm · For: Goodbye
I really liked this story. I cant really write good as some people on this site but you are better then me. I dont really write that good.
I really hope you can write more cool storys i really like them :)
Author's Response: I'm sure you write far better than you think you do. Anyways, it's Naruto fanfiction: judging from the percentage of the stories up on the site, everyone (including me) is growing.rnThanks for your review (and the compliment)!rnKeep writing no matter how good you think you may be. There are tons of people on this site who point out errors in stories. It all helps us get better.
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 01/07/11 - 07:33 pm · For: Temari Day 3 Part Two
Wow! Well, first of all, glad to hear you did well on your exams! Good job! The telepathically-sent smarts worked! Haha! ;) But seriously, good work :D
And wow, what a chapter to come back with! This was incredible! I was so spooked myself, it was so scary. This guy is insane, everything he says is just so psychotic. This psychopath is weird, man.
But now I can't wait for more! This was awesome (in a creepy way, of course). I look forward to reading more, keep up the great work!
Author's Response: I'm glad to know my abilities of scaring the be-gibers out of people is working!! >:DrnrnThanks for letting me borrow your brain by the way :)
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 06/06/11 - 02:35 pm · For: Shikamaru Day 4 Part One
Hey, no worries about exams, okay? Updates are always nice, but there is no need to rush anything. I'd rather wait and get an awesome chapter than have something sooner and have it be choppy and rushed. Me personally, anyway.
Nice work with this chapter. Very nice portrayal of Shikamaru as the frantic lovestruck guy. That's pretty in character for him, good job. I look forward to this rescue mission. I have no idea where this is going to go, so I can't wait to see where you take this. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Thanks Urufu chan. I REALLY appreciate that.rnrnI'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter so much! I'll be sure to not rush the next one too much, I write because I enjoy writing after all. I just don't like to keep you in suspense TOO long... hee hee, who am I kidding? suspense is the chocolate of reading!! MUAHAHAHA!!!rnrn(Glomp translate: I'll try to be on-time, but now that I know you wont chase me down with a rake, I'll study first :)
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 29/05/11 - 05:25 pm · For: Temari Day 3 Part One
YAY!!!! YOU'RE BACK!!!!
I was wondering when I would see this story again, and here it is now!
Good job, I continue to really enjoy this. It was great insight to see inside Temari's head. And it was sad to hear about Kankurou, and yet, it totally makes sense.
And Temari is totally smitten with Shikamaru, if only she would just realize it.
Now I'm all in suspense! I cannot wait to find out what happened to Temari, dang nab it! I hope you update soon, this is getting good!
Author's Response: Thank you! Sorry about the computer problems. I was putting these stories up and could NOT figure out WHY it only said there was one chapter up. *Smacks head* I guess it didn't save right. Well, now I have to rewrite all the chapters... *grumbles and smacks Itachi* All though, I feel better after smacking Itachi...rnGreat that you like the story so much Urufu chan ^-^
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 25/04/11 - 03:54 am · For: Goodbye
Wow, I didn't think I would find a story written by you that wasn't a crack-fic. I was quite surprised when I found that this was, indeed, non-crack.
But I love this!
The summary had already gotten me interested. And then just for a prologue, I'm all in suspense and everything! You established the plot quickly but not too hastily (that really annoys me when a writer jumps into the action with no explanation). And then you showed Shikamaru and Temari's friendship really well because of Shikamaru's concern and Temari's tough attitude. And then that little bit at the end... so adorable! You really illustrated the awkward yet cute kiss in a very realistic manner, and it created the awesome fluff that I personally love. Overall, excellent start to a story, and I look forward to reading more. So I'm really hoping that you continue with this. Please, please, pretty please with sugar and chocolate on top?
Oh wait, I guess I should tell you that you spelled Tsunadai wrong. It is actually Tsunade. Just a little spell check advice. Not too big of a deal though, since this is a good prologue anyway.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I really appreciated that you took the time to tell me what you thought ^-^rnrnI really didn't want to have a boring start and am VERY glad that it worked out so well. I have some tweaking to do before the next update, but it will be there soon :D Thanks again for your review. Also, thank you for correcting my spelling. Any criticism helps me make it better, and when you tell me what you like it helps me know what I am doing right. I'm still very new to the fandom and really apriciate all teh support you've given me. Thank you again Urufu chan!