Reviews For Forever
Name: Swrestler12 (Signed) · Date: 12/04/11 - 01:25 pm · For: Chapter 2
Wow. Nice job. I am liking this so far
Author's Response: thanks
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 12/04/11 - 07:39 am · For: Chapter 2
Wow. Very nice. Descriptive and touching. I liked it. This story seems to be developing well. I can't wait to see how Mia acts as a ninja.
A word of advice: you tended to switch around from first person to third person. First you said 'I' and then said 'she'. Just proofread to make sure the same point of view is used. That's all.
Good job with this chapter. I look forward to seeing how this story proceeds. I can't wait for the next update! Keep up the good work with all of your stories!
Author's Response: ughh I didn't evern realize that I was doing that, thanks for pointing that out. I appercatie it, makes me feel better knowing that someone notcied that, cause I sure as hell didn't. Thanks sliverwolf. Signed ~Kai-San~
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 08/04/11 - 07:26 am · For: Chapter 1
Hmm.... it has a nice start. A little more description as to what exactly is going on would be nice. Like, how old is everyone? Why does the dad need constant babysitting? Etc., etc.... Be sure to not be too short in your writing. Explanations and elaborations are always helpful to the reader. But what you did put in was very good, and it has a unique opening to what can only be a good story. Short chapters end too fast, for me anyways. Longer chapters maybe? Possibly? Hopefully? Please? I will continue to read, so I hope you update this soon. Pretty please?
Author's Response: Dear Sliverwolf, to awnser your questions. The dad's mentally unstable and lost his some of his mind. I'll be putting up background infomation asap. I'm working on chapter 2. right now and it'll be pettry long. ~Kai-San~rnrn